Lydia Dare Wolf Bundle
Page 25
“Well, that sounds intriguing.”
“As you say, you’ve known Simon forever…” Lily frowned. He would be furious if he knew she was asking these sorts of questions. She shook off the thought. She was the Duchess of Blackmoor, and she had every right to know what her duke was hiding from her. “Does the full moon mean anything to you?”
When her friend said nothing but stared at her blankly, Lily prodded, “In regards to Simon?”
After a moment, Prisca furrowed her brow. It was a ridiculous thing to ask. Lily felt like a fool the moment the words left her mouth.
Finally, Prisca shook her head. “I don’t know, Lily. I’ve often wondered the same thing. Not about His Grace. He is much older than me. But once upon a time I spent quite a lot of time with Will and Benjamin. It was years ago. Their moods became like clockwork. I didn’t notice it at first, and it happens so gradually, but the longer you’re with them, the more it becomes apparent. Will always got more agitated as the moon waxed, and Ben always got more quiet.”
“Do you know what it means?” Lily asked, leaning toward Prisca who shook her head.
“I asked Will once. I’ve never seen him so furious. He refused to talk to me about it and… Well, things between us haven’t ever been the same since.”
Lily felt the wind whoosh out of her lungs. What a horrible tale. What if Simon reacted the same way? She didn’t want things to change between them, other than she wished he’d trust her with whatever this was. She didn’t want them to constantly hurt each other the way Prisca and Will did.
Maybe it was best not knowing. As long as Simon stayed with her, she could be content. Losing him wasn’t an option, even if it meant never learning his secret, even if it meant he didn’t fully trust her. At least for now.
Forty-One
LILY STOPPED BEFORE ENTERING SIMON’S STUDY. He’d never summoned her before, and she couldn’t imagine what he wanted with her. She took a deep breath and smoothed her skirts with her hands. Then she knocked softly.
“Come,” he called.
She pushed the door open and stepped inside. Simon sat behind a new oak desk, and he smiled when she entered. “Ah, there you are, love,” he said, rising to his feet.
“You wanted to see me?”
Simon nodded and gestured to one of the two leather seats in front of his desk. “I am terrible at correspondence. Perhaps you’ve noticed.”
Lily laughed and then fell into the first seat. “I am painfully aware of that fact, Simon.”
One dark eyebrow rose. “Yes, well, you wouldn’t have sought me out if I had been more communicative. So I can’t really feel remorse for my failing in this regard.”
Lily couldn’t help but smile. “I suppose that is true.”
“Anyway, I thought you could help me become a bit more organized. Help me go through my post, to be more responsible in this area.”
“You want me to go through your post?”
He nodded. “I really have no patience for it alone. But I thought if you assisted me, I might manage to get through it.”
“Meaning?” Lily asked.
“Most of my correspondence is destined for the rubbish bin. People wanting things of me. To attend a function or sponsor a charity, things of that nature. Anyone who knows me well would never write to me. Except for Will and Ben. They’re the exception to the rule. Even still, neither of them write to me very often.”
How did one live like that? Lily couldn’t imagine. “Have you ever thought about sponsoring a charity?”
He sat back in his chair and folded his arm across his chest. “I am quite philanthropic, Lily. Major Forster runs a charitable organization that I donate liberally to.”
Lily had no idea. All the years she’d kept up with his exploits, she’d believed him to be a self-involved rake-hell. “The man who found a boy to mentor Oliver?”
“Yes. He was an old friend of my father’s.”
“So you mentioned. What does his organization do?”
Simon hesitated, studying her a moment before answering. “The Lycanian Society helps individuals and families who suffer from certain ailments. Food, shelter, clothing, things of that nature. Will devotes much of his time to The Society.”
Lily had never heard of it. “Isn’t it usually women who spend their time with charities?”
Simon quirked a grin at her. “I’ll be sure to mention that to Will.”
Flustered, Lily sat forward, her hand on her chest. “Oh, don’t you dare!” Will was such a dear man that she’d never want to insult him.
Simon’s warm chuckle put her at ease, and she sank against the back of the chair. “So,” he continued, “will you help manage me, Lily?”
She would never refuse an opportunity to spend time with him, and it warmed her to her toes that he wanted the same. “Of course.”
“Excellent.” He rose from his seat and walked around his desk. “We’ll start tomorrow.” He pulled Lily from her seat and slid his arms around her waist. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, love.”
Lily smiled at him. “Oh, you’d probably still be making a name for yourself amongst the society rags, breaking hearts as you went.”
Simon smiled wolfishly and then dipped his head down to kiss her right above her heart. “Still intact,” he murmured before kissing his way back up her collarbone, her neck, and finally her lips.
The flutters that raced through her nearly robbed her of her breath, and she actually swayed. Simon’s arms tightened around her as his tongue slowly traced her lips. When he swept inside her mouth, Lily thought he might devour her. All of her hoped he would.
Simon watched the sunlight reflect off Lily’s pretty locks as she intently studied the pile of letters before her. He was supposed to be looking at his ledger and tending to his Blackmoor holdings, but none of the entries were nearly as engaging as his wife. As if she felt his stare, she looked up and he averted his eyes to the open pages before him.
“Simon,” she said quietly.
“Hmm?” He raised his head, as if he had not been gazing at her for the last ten minutes.
“I don’t know some of these names. Do you want me to call them out to you?”
He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. If she wanted to read Cook’s grocery bill, he’d readily listen. “Go ahead.”
“Phineas Appleton.”
“Toss it.”
“What if it’s important? Shouldn’t I look?”
Simon laughed. “I went to school with Appleton. He was a degenerate then, and he still is. He writes once a month wanting me to join some club of his. I’d rather not.”
“Have you told him so?”
“One would think my unresponsiveness would be enough of a hint, Lily.”
“Apparently not.” She waved the letter in the air.
“A simple note stating that you are uninterested might stop Mr. Appleton’s interest.”
No one who wanted Blackmoor money or name would stop hounding him because of a simple note. But it was endearing that his sweet, naïve wife thought it would. “You may pen one, if you’d like. I’m not going to waste my time on Appleton.”
She put the letter aside and lifted the next one to her nose. “This one doesn’t have a name, but it’s drenched in some perfume.”
Damn! He hadn’t thought about Lily coming across those sorts of letters. Perhaps he should rethink her helping him. Who knew what she might come across? “As I said before, no one who knows me well would send me a letter. Toss it.”
“It’s from a female admirer.”
This was a bit awkward. “Lily, please toss it.”
She smiled at him and put it on top of Appleton’s letter. “I could write all of your admirers, too, and inform them that you are married now and that your wife goes through your post.”
Simon scowled at Lily until her smile vanished.
She cleared her throat. “This is from Lieutenant Schofield. Isn’t that the—”
/> “Let me have it.” Simon sat forward with a start. Who knew what Schofield wrote in his letter? He’d really rather Lily not read whatever it was. He’d give her the edited version later.
Lily looked at the letter and then passed it across the desk to him.
Dear Duke of Blackmoor,
I understand from Major Forster that your ward, the Earl of Maberley, will be in attendance at Harrow for the Michaelmas term along with my son, Leo. Forster suggested we bring the lads together before the start of term, so that Maberley will have someone to guide him.
I was in Spain with my regiment when Leo began his first term at school. I wish that I had been here for him to help make his transition into the human world easier. We would be honored to assist Maberley with his adjustment.
Perhaps the earl could pay us a visit during the September moonful and give the lads the opportunity to sniff each other. I will await your reply.
Your humble servant,
Lt. Harold Schofield
Reston House,
Guilford, Surrey
Transition into the human world? How did the Schofields normally go about their lives? It was a stroke of luck that he’d been able to snatch the letter from Lily’s fingers.
The September moonful. That was the perfect excuse. He could take Oliver to Surrey to experience the change with Schofield, while he returned to the woods of Westfield Hall without Lily knowing. He could tell her he was going to London after dropping Oliver off along the way.
He frowned, realizing he would have to come up with a different excuse once a month for the rest of his life. He was going to have to become much more creative, or he’d run out of ideas before their first anniversary.
“What did he say, Simon?” Lily’s voice interrupted his thoughts.
Simon looked up from the letter to find Lily’s eyes focused on him. “He’d like for Oliver to come visit them next week. Let the boys get acquainted before the start of term.”
“Oh. Well, perhaps the Schofield boy could come here instead.”
And have three wolves in close proximity to Lily? Not a chance. “I think it would be rude to turn down Schofield’s offer, love. Perhaps we can invite the boy some other time.” Like when the moon was in its crescent state.
“But Oliver will be leaving us so soon anyway,” she said sadly.
Simon pocketed the note and rose from his seat. He walked around his desk and placed his hands on Lily’s shoulders. “It’ll just be for a few days. He needs this. It’ll give him a bit of confidence to start school with.”
She nodded her head. “I know you’re right.”
“Come on, love. We’ve been doing this long enough. I asked Cook to prepare a basket for luncheon and thought we could enjoy the grounds.”
She smiled at him. “That is a lovely idea.”
Simon took Lily’s hand in his as they walked down the garden path. Lily still had trouble reconciling this Simon with the dangerous Duke of Blackmoor. He had such a bad reputation, and she knew without a doubt that much of it was earned.
Lily worried her bottom lip between her teeth. She couldn’t get the thought of all the perfume-scented letters off her mind. Before they’d left his study, he’d scooped up all the letters with feminine scrawl and tossed them into the wastebasket. Why would he do such a thing? He hadn’t read them. Did he have something to hide?
She would like to imagine that the letters meant nothing. But how well did she really know him?
Simon squeezed her hand in his. “Is something bothering you?” His eyebrows drew together.
Lily shook her head. “No. Why do you ask?”
“Because, if you chew on that bottom lip any harder, I’ll have to take drastic measures.” His eyes twinkled at her, the grey depths reflecting happiness and contentment.
“Drastic measures to do what?”
“To protect those lips I love so much. I might have need of them later.” He pulled her closer and touched his lips to hers. “Or now,” he murmured, then smiled at her.
He spread a blanket on the soft ground and sat, tugging her fingers until she sat with him, then he drew her to sit between his spread knees. She leaned back against him. The body supporting hers was strong and supple. She sighed with contentment. Yet some doubts still nagged at her.
“Out with it, Lily,” he said.
Lily took a deep breath and started. “I never thought I would marry, Simon.”
“I am very lucky that some other man didn’t snatch you from my path years ago.”
“No one was ever very interested in me. You are the first.”
“Their loss,” he murmured.
“I’m sorry you got stuck with me, Simon,” she said, turning to look at him. “But I do need to tell you one thing. And it’s something you may not like.”
Simon tensed behind her, his body at alert. “Continue.”
“I watched Emma change after her marriage to Daniel.” Simon inhaled behind her. She turned to look at him. “And I don’t think I could stand it if you did to me what Daniel did to her.”
“Change in what way?” The calm beneath his voice belied the rigid set of his body. “What did he do to her?”
“Emma was always happy and carefree. She laughed readily. She loved with all her heart. And she loved Daniel.”
“If I remember correctly, she had his whole heart as well.”
“I’m not so sure.”
Simon took a breath and tried to remember snippets of conversations he’d had with Daniel about his marriage.
“I’m fairly certain he loved and adored her,” Simon could truthfully say.
“Then why did he have relations with other women?” Lily’s eyes dodged his, looking everywhere but at his face.
He captured her chin in his hand and waited for her gaze to rise.
“Daniel was faithful. I can attest to that.”
“She always thought he had a mistress,” Lily whispered.
“She told you that?”
Lily nodded.
“What made her draw that conclusion?”
“The way he left her all the time. He took trips every month.” Lily paused, then looked directly into his eyes. “Perhaps you can explain it to me. Maybe you know something I don’t.”
“Daniel was faithful. He adored Emma.”
“A few months after they married, she changed.”
“In what way?” Simon had to find out how much she knew.
“She feared him. They were fine for a few months.
And then Emma told me Daniel was taking her with him on one of his trips. And she came back changed.”
“And what do you think happened?” Simon thought his heart might pound out of his chest.
“I think he hurt her. She told me as much,” she blurted out when Simon tried to deny it.
“It wasn’t intentional,” Simon sighed. How could he possibly ease her pain?
“You know about it?” Lily gasped.
“I don’t know details,” Simon said, which was true. He had never delved deeper into the relationship than Daniel wanted him to, so he didn’t know specifics. “But I have an idea of what happened.” The same thing that could happen if Simon took Lily under the light of the full moon.
“What do you know?”
He closed his eyes and tried to arrange his thoughts.
“I know he got too rough with her.” Simon shrugged.
“In what way?”
Please let it go, Lily.
“In what way, Simon?” she prodded.
“Intimately,” he confessed. “He scared her intimately.” He didn’t know how else to verbalize it.
“You mean like when they were together?”
“More like when he was inside her.” When he placed his teeth upon her shoulder. When he tore her flesh. When he marked her as his own.
“Oh.” Lily looked confused.
“There are times…” Simon started. Then he stopped. “Times?”
Simon closed his eyes tigh
tly. “Times when a man, men like Daniel and me, feel like we could lose control.”
“Do you feel that way with me?”
“I’m sure I will.”
“Simon, you would never hurt me.” Her hand moved to cup his face. Such tenderness, even when he revealed some of his inner battle. He didn’t deserve it.
Simon kissed her palm. “I wouldn’t intend to. And neither did Daniel. Once he realized he was capable of it, he took himself away from her.”
“Where did he go? To other women?”
“Never.”
“I could never bear it if you left me.”
“You’re stronger than Emma. You would adjust.”
Lily shook her head and touched her lips to his. “I’ll have to coerce you to stay.”
She could try. But even she couldn’t stop the cycle of the moon.
Forty-Two
SIMON HATED LYING TO HER. HE SIMPLY DETESTED himself for it. She deserved so much more. But he’d decided before their marriage that she would never know about his Lycan side, so certain measures had to be put in place. For her safety. He kept reminding himself that this was for her safety.
“You’re leaving me?” she asked, her hands on her hips.
“I’ll only be in London for a few days,” he said as he avoided looking into her eyes. If he did, he would confess all his sins. He would tell her every untruth. Then he would watch her turn from him in revulsion. He couldn’t bear it. He simply could not.
“Why can’t I go with you?” she asked. Her eyes pleaded with him, demanding that he answer.
“You simply cannot. It’s not that kind of journey.”
“Then what kind of journey is it?” Lily began to pace from one side of the room to the other.
Simon clenched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. He’d been feeling more and more out of control as the days passed. And the night before, he’d nearly taken her too hard when he’d made love to her. She’d cried out when he’d gotten too rough. He couldn’t allow himself to hurt her. He surely would if he stayed at Westfield Hall.
“It’s the kind you can’t go on!” he snapped at her.
Lily’s indrawn breath made him cringe.
“Lily,” he said softly as he walked to her. Perhaps he should grovel at her feet. He could drop to his hands and knees before her and lay his snout over her slipper. Maybe she would take the hint.