Pieces of Broken Time

by Lorenz Font

  For the next couple of days, Jennifer worked like a madwoman to take her mind off her discovery. Focusing her energy on her drawings, she visualized each woman wearing her creations. She concentrated on the vibrant colors, intricate embroideries, and the different designs for complementing everyone from the smallest figure to the larger.

  While work made it possible to keep her mind focused on anything other than Blake, it was during the night that she lay in bed thinking about what could’ve been. If Blake hadn’t been so stubborn, Jennifer could imagine better things between them. But at this point, she had to focus her energy on the life inside her.

  Her phone rang.

  “Hey! I’ve missed you. We need to get together soon,” Coleen said, sounding as excited as ever.

  “Hey, for sure. Do you want to come over?”

  She had been in constant contact with Coleen. Their nightly calls helped her pass the time after dinner, when all her chores had been finished and she was left with nothing but the quiet and her thoughts. She had given Coleen a rundown of her brief relationship with Blake, but left out the part where their union created another life. It was the result of a bittersweet memory she wanted to keep to herself for a little longer.

  “You have to come down this coming weekend for my baby shower.”

  “Oh my. Is it that time already?” With all the things that had been happening in her life, it had slipped her mind.

  “Yes. Are you going to be able to get away?”

  “Let me check my social calendar—” Jennifer paused for dramatic effect. “Why, yes. There is no way I’m missing your baby shower.” She laughed despite the persistent sadness she often wrestled.

  “Great! I’ll have the guest room ready for you. I want you to stay the weekend so we have more gossip time.”

  With the following weekend all planned, Jennifer felt a bit better knowing she wouldn’t have a chance to dwell on matters of the heart and might find the chance to break the news to her friend.

  A quick call to Mr. Smith confirmed he didn’t mind checking on the house and the sprinklers, and she politely listened as he caught her up on all the news. Although she missed the peace and quiet the small town offered, knowing that Blake was close by made going home a bit difficult to swallow.

  “Do you want me to stop?” Jennifer asked, her voice husky, while her hand traced the scars along the side of his face and made him feel whole again.

  “No.” Blake moaned and shook his head. He wanted the pleasure Jennifer gave him. He inched closer until their foreheads were touching.

  “I don’t want to stop either. I want this … I want y—”

  He seized her soft lips and tasted the goodness she was offering him. Her mouth was a soft fluff of clouds, and her breath was like a warm breeze. He felt her smile against his mouth, and he deepened his kiss into one that showed his need, his hunger.

  With slow strokes of his tongue inside her welcoming mouth, she returned his ardent probing with fervor. He felt her shudder when she closed the gap between their bodies, tangling her legs with his. Even with their clothes on, he could feel her overheated desire that matched his own.

  Blake knew where they headed, and he was okay with it. In fact, he ached for it. The inhibition was absent. The embarrassment took a leave, and all that remained was their desire to taste heaven.

  Jennifer ran her fingers through his hair. “Are you sure?” she asked when their mouths broke apart. Her eyes twinkled in the soft glow coming from the lamp.

  “I don’t think anything can stop me now.” Blake’s voice dipped lower while he positioned his body on top of hers.

  The mattress groaned under their collective weight when he shifted his body. He trapped her legs with his, and he let his fingers drift to the buttons of her blouse. One by one, he plucked each free. With eagerness he hadn’t felt in a long time, he collected himself by taking deep breaths.

  “Oh, Blake.” Jennifer moaned when he pried her blouse apart to expose her breasts. Pink nipples greeted him, the perky pair he wanted to tease with his tongue and mounds he wanted to sink his face into, but instead of diving in, he captured her lips instead.

  Blake was a sucker for a little foreplay even if his body was already prepping for the bigger prize. His shaft was primed to enter her now, but like a good boy he’d provide her pleasure first. Withdrawing from their kiss, he ran his lips on the side of her face and started raining kisses along her neck. He found the base of her throat and let his finger trace her collarbone where he burrowed his face into her soft skin. A jolt of pleasure swept over him.

  He closed his eyes and inhaled deep, breathing her sweet scent. She moaned again, and he realized there was a real possibility that he might not last as long as he’d hoped. The woman had the power to bring him to his knees and beg for love.

  Is this real?

  He opened his eye and raised his head to find Jennifer smiling at him. It was real, all right.

  “I’m afraid I can’t wait any longer,” she whispered.

  Swallowing hard, Blake nodded, not trusting himself to speak for fear of ruining the moment.

  Jennifer didn’t waste any time in showing her eagerness. She let her hands glide to the hem of his T-shirt.

  He held her hand and pointed to his face. “The scars underneath the shirt are worse.”

  Jennifer didn’t answer, but he saw tenderness in her eyes. “I don’t care what you look like. All I see is the loving guy inside and a man who makes me feel like I’m the center of his world.” To prove her point, she pressed her exposed breasts on his chest, and captured his mouth for a passionate kiss. The tips of her taut nipples brushed against the material of his shirt.

  He wanted nothing more than to be out of his clothes. He didn’t care. Only a fool would let this woman beg. If she was willing to take him for whatever he had to offer, he wasn’t going to make her wait a second longer.

  Jennifer must’ve sensed his need. She raised his shirt and freed him from the confines of the fabric that separated them. She glanced down to his scarred body, and not once did he see her flinch.

  With renewed confidence, he cupped her lush swell to taste it. While he flicked the tip of her nipple with his tongue, he let one hand play with the other breast, filling his palm like it had been made for him.

  Her body undulated under his spell and her breath came in ragged spurts.

  Blake lifted his face, and in the buttery glow of light, he saw the burning desire in her eyes, begging him to stop teasing and show her what he had in store for her. He slid her jeans down her legs, her dainty bikini the one thing keeping him from taking her, and he let his forefinger trace the material before he freed her body from it.

  “Woman,” he murmured. Her creamy skin looked like milk he could drink forever, and the gratifying prize between her legs was calling his name.

  “What?” she asked, her voice demure.

  “Is this what you want?” When her head bobbed several times, Blake removed his own pants before reclaiming his position on top of her.

  Her body rocked upward to meet his.

  “I’m not going to be gentle, Jennifer. It has been a long time—”

  She placed her finger to his lips. “You can do anything that pleases you.”

  Sliding a hand underneath her body, he pressed his taut shaft against her belly.

  Jennifer gasped and then smiled.

  “You do that to me,” he whispered.

  “I want you now. Now …” She moaned and her fingers wrapped around him, stroking up and down. She caressed the tender skin around his balls until he was fully aroused. It was unhurried, deliberate, and so taking him over the edge. “I’m so wet. Please. I can’t wait a second longer.”

  Those were the sweetest words, and ignoring the intended foreplay, he spread her legs apart and pressed himself into her welcoming body. He filled every inch of her, and her cries of pleasure made his chest puff with pride.

  Blake thrust deep, testing her tight walls that
wrapped around him like his very own glove. He pounded harder, loving the little moans escaping her lips.

  “More …”

  Jennifer came after a few moments. Her fulfilled cries swept across the silent room while Blake continued his vigorous thrusting.

  He held his breath as he felt the release edging closer. He drove into her harder, and his body burned with lust … damning lust that needed release.

  Blake’s shouts of jubilation still echoed in his ears as he surfaced from the dream. The rude awakening felt hard and sweltering like the wildfire that was still raging inside him.

  This is a fuckin’ nightmare!

  He jumped out of bed, ignoring the pain in his legs, and ran to the bathroom. He removed the eye patch and splashed cold water on his face, not stopping until he felt nothing.

  He had let the woman go, and he deserved to be haunted by the same dreams over and over so he could dwell on the lifetime of regret for his idiocy.

  “You’re a fuckin’ moron, Connor.” Blake glared and hated the man staring back at him. The cold water on his face wasn’t enough because his dick was still throbbing like hell.

  Blake walked to the shower and, without bothering to remove his shorts, let the running water drown the remnant of his stunted dream.

  Damn you to high heavens.

  Unlike the happy-ever-after one expected from a romantic novel, his story was on its way to being a horror depiction of a man too dumb to admit that certain things happened for a reason. A dumbass too proud to accept the fact he had to fight for the love of his life.

  Sam’s words continued to torture him.

  “The fight is very much alive.”

  Do I have a fight left in me … for Jennifer?

  He knew the answer, but the first thing he had to address was his right to love her. She had given him enough reason, yet he had continued to trust his blind belief that she only felt pity. The rest had blurred along the way.

  The days followed by weeks that turned into months had been terrifying. Not having her around had been the worst realization for him. Living with his scarred body was nothing compared to the reality that he’d driven Jennifer away.

  Aside from his habitual drive-by, misery, self-loathing, and a bottle had been the only constants in his life. Blake still drove by Jennifer’s house on a daily basis. Although he didn’t expect to see her, he had taken comfort in doing what he had promised his friend in the first place.

  Today, like the day before, he parked in front of her house. He pulled his cell phone out and dialed Sam. His friend was the person who’d give it to him straight up. No frills and no icing on the top.

  “What’s up, my man?” Sam asked.

  “Meet me at Waterhole in fifteen minutes.”

  There was a brief silence on the phone before Sam answered. “See you there.”

  Exactly fifteen minutes later, the door opened and Sam stepped inside.

  Once a soldier, always a soldier.

  Blake was already on his second beer when Sam sat down in the booth across from him.

  His first order of business was summoning the waitress for a ginger ale. “So what’s up?”

  “Pretty much everything,” Blake answered, hating the tightness sweeping around the general area known as his heart.

  Sam snorted before he brought his hands together and cracked his knuckles. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table and gave Blake his full attention. “Tell me about it.”

  “I miss her so damned much.”

  “And? You didn’t see this one coming?”

  “It seemed like the best thing to do, bro.”

  “Well, I knew it was just a matter of time ’til you realized you acted like an ass.”

  “I know.” It was tough to admit that he had screwed up so thoroughly. But he was an unemployed veteran who was disfigured inside as well as out.

  “So why am I here? To tell you what you already know?” Sam drummed his fingers on the table.

  Blake pounded his fist in response, rattling the bottles and spilling some of the beer on the table. “Fine, I guess I screwed up big time. But why can’t I get her out of my mind?”

  His lamentation was met with sympathetic eyes. “Let me ask you this. What do you intend to do for the rest of your life? And don’t lie to me, because I know you well enough.”

  The waitress approached their table with Sam’s drink.

  Blake waited for her to walk away before he answered. “I don’t know. I guess continue living. Find a job somewhere.”

  The future sounded bleak without a concrete plan, but it was all he had. He took a swig of his beer and watched as the bubbles settled inside the bottle.

  “Do you see Jennifer in your future at all?” Sam took a long sip from his glass.

  “What kind of a question is that?”

  His friend chuckled. “Just answer it.”

  “Sometimes …”

  “If you could have her back in your life, would it make a difference?”

  Blake stared at Sam and had no idea how to answer, especially since he had avoided the thought. Or maybe it was the fear of hope.

  “Of course it would, but look at me. I’m full of self-doubt, I look like a drunken sailor all the time, and I’m fuckin’ hideous.”

  “Would you, for one second, admit that you’ll do whatever it takes to get her back?” Sam took another long pull on his ale, downing half its contents in a single gulp.

  “I guess I will … but I’m so fucked up. Why would she want me?” he asked.

  “You’re still fucked up.” Sam laughed, adding to Blake’s annoyance. “Here’s what I think you can do. Get out of the hole you dug for yourself and stop dwelling on the things you can’t change. Call your superior officer and ask for a desk job, or anything that would put you back in the workforce. Then, see a shrink. I doubt I’m much help to you.” Sam winked. “Attend your therapies and try to smile a bit more. You’re not carrying the weight of the world, you know.”

  “As easy as that?” He wished things were as simple as his friend made it sound.

  “No. It won’t be easy. First, get that damn chip off your shoulder and take all the help you can get. Next, understand it’s going to take a lot of perseverance and patience on your part, but it can be done. I have faith in you.”

  “What if I fall flat on my face?” Blake could barely swallow around the lump in his throat, but if he was going to start anywhere, he may as well start with his worst fear.

  “Stop screwing around. Go get her if you want her, instead of hiding inside your house like a hermit waiting for Armageddon.”

  “Screw you.” Although Sam was right, he hated hearing it.

  “Sure, Blake, go right ahead. Don’t you think I don’t feel your pain, bro? We’ve been together for a long time, and I know you as well as I know my dick.”

  Blake grimaced at the mental picture while Sam smiled.

  “Stop being a pussy and pursue the woman. If she is the one who can ring your bell, just do us all a favor and snap out of that asshole act.”

  “You make it sound so easy. What if it doesn’t work out?”

  “The ball’s in your court. It’s time to go out and play.” Sam looked pretty pleased with himself.

  “I don’t think I can handle a rejection.” Blake sighed.

  “If she rejects you, you’re better off than where you are now. It’s better than not trying at all. When you’re all straightened out, let me know and I’ll tell you where to find her.”

  Chapter 24

  Blake left the bar after two beers, with a whole new perspective. The talk with Sam had given him a direction that had been too blurry for him to see at first, but with his friend showing the map and a few coordinates, he knew what he had to do. If he could break away from the uncertainties that plagued him, it wouldn’t be difficult. He simply had to look at this with an open mind—as a challenge— to better himself and reach a level where he could offer himself to the woman he loved. The
re were many things he needed to do and one person to talk to so he could start clearing the air once and for all.

  Baby steps.

  When Blake turned onto his street, he noticed a black Crown Victoria parked in front of his house. As he rolled closer, he saw the official government license plate and his heart skipped.

  He parked and jumped out, feeling light on his feet. It looked like one of his baby steps might have come to him instead.

  The familiar face of Colonel Norwalk greeted him as Blake approached the front door. Blake stopped short, snapping into the familiar and surprisingly comfortable greeting. “Sir!”

  Colonel Norwalk returned the salute and gave him a broad smile. “Connor, it’s been a while. How have you been?” The man who had been like a father during his military career regarded him with probing pale blue eyes, and Blake felt something coming.

  “I’m fine, sir.” He opened the front door, and Drew came scuttling out to greet him and then approached his visitor with caution. “Easy, boy,” he said to the dog, and then turned to the colonel. “Make yourself comfortable while I let this one out.”

  He led Drew to the back and opened the slider then returned. “This is a pleasant surprise, sir. What can I do for you?”

  Colonel Norwalk was lounging comfortably with his legs crossed when Blake walked in. He uncrossed them and leaned forward as Blake sat down. “We’re not active, so please, call me Lance.”

  It felt awkward to call someone he’d respected all his service life by his first name, but this sounded like an order, so he nodded.

  “I’m here on official and unofficial business. Let me start with the unofficial.” Lance produced a legal-sized white envelope from the breast pocket of his uniform and handed it to him.

  “What is this?” Blake took the envelope, noticed his name on it, and immediately recognized Trent’s penmanship.

  “It was among the things sent to Trent’s parents. It landed on my desk last week. Since I was paying you a visit, I decided to bring it with me.” Lance leaned back and seemed to be giving Blake a moment to check the contents first.