When Love Ignites

by Neideffer, Tara

  There was so much to take in. Chemo. Cancer. Taking over her business? She would have to pack up and move to New York City, leave her job, and everything and everyone behind, including Ethan. But even with their tainted past, this was her sister. She didn’t have to think twice. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. I have to let my job know, I have to let my landlord know, and I have to get everything packed. It might be a few weeks, are you going to be okay until then?”

  Casey let out a relieved sigh and said, “Thank you, Brooke. You don’t know how much this means to me. I’m okay right now, so you have time to prepare. You can stay with me, if you want. Housing can be expensive here in New York.”

  “Um, okay, we can try that and see how it works out. We still have things we need to discuss and work out, but I’m here for you. You’re still my sister and what happened all those years ago is irrelevant to what you’re going through right now,” Brooke said, feeling hot tears drop down her cheeks.

  “Yes, we do. And for what it’s worth, I really am sorry... for everything.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ll call you later this week and let you know the actual date that I can get there, okay?”

  “Okay. You don’t know how scared I was to call you, because I wasn’t sure you would help or not, but I knew I had to give it a chance.”

  “Casey, you’re my sister, I still love you and would do anything for you,” Brooke said biting her lip. This news was too much to handle.

  “I love you, too,” she said.

  “You should call Gram and tell her, she’s been worried about you. She could tell something was up,” Brooke said.

  A long sigh drifted through the phone. “I know. I just hope she handles the news okay. She’s getting old and I don’t want it to wreck her, you know?” she said.

  “I know, but Gram is tough and she’ll be more upset if she finds out later,” Brooke said, pacing her living room.

  “You’re right. I’ll call her as soon as I hang up with you.”

  “Okay, and I’ll start planning and getting everything ready to leave,” Brooke said.

  “Thanks again, Brooke,” Casey whispered.

  “Take care of yourself until I can get there, okay?” Brooke said, her voice cracking at the end.

  “I will.”

  At some point Brooke had hung up with her sister and was now sitting on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest and her back resting against the couch. Her head was lowered against her knees and she was crying into the palm of her hands. She didn’t lift her head until her hands were drenched in tears and her eyes were almost swollen shut. The tears felt like they’d never stop. Years of resentment and hate for her sister all fell away with this one phone call. How could they have wasted so many years holding onto meaningless anger when their lives were slowly ticking away? It all seemed pointless now.

  She didn’t know how she was going to tell Ethan. Could their relationship withstand the distance? She didn’t know, but she had no choice. As soon as her sister was better, she’d come back. Maybe he could take some time off and come visit her once her sister was done with chemo and feeling better. Surely, he would wait for her? Right?

  And her sister would get better.

  She had to.

  Everything would work out in the end.

  Her fingers couldn’t flip to Ethan’s number fast enough as she began pacing her living room. All she wanted right now was for him to take her into his arms and comfort her in his deep, soothing voice. He had a way of making her feel better, and she needed him more than ever right now. Her pacing began to pick up speed with every ring that went unanswered. His phone went to voice mail and her heart dropped. The ragged, choked voice that begged him to please call her back immediately sounded so distant and foreign to her.

  She dropped to the couch again, cradling the phone in her hands, wishing he’d hurry and call back, because she had no idea how much longer she would be able to keep herself together. She needed his strength right now.

  Chapter 24

  ETHAN

  Ethan woke with a smile. It was something that he never thought would happen, but here he was; standing in front of his bathroom mirror, grinning like a damned idiot. He turned his face from side to side, checking out his profile, not fully recognizing the man standing in front of him. He studied his reflection with two bright emerald eyes, instead of the dull green eyes that usually stared back at him. He ran his hand across the stubble on his cheeks, not missing the glow beneath. And the world around him seemed less foggy. Another thing he never thought would happen was him using the term, ‘bright eyed and bushy tailed,’ but that was exactly how he would refer to this stranger in the mirror. Was this really him? Was he finally so happy that he woke up at four-thirty in the morning, smiling? It was completely absurd and foreign, but he couldn’t wipe the sickeningly happy smirk off his face if he tried.

  He adjusted his red striped tie and rolled up the sleeves to his baby blue dress shirt, not able to keep Brooke out of his mind. Things were really picking up between them, and for once, Ethan was excited. He finally felt like he was putting the past behind him and moving on. He’d never thought he’d be able to do it, but he loved Brooke, so it was easy once he let himself love her. It was necessary to open his heart again. He felt like he’d done everything he could to find Olivia, and as much as it hurt him to begin to realize she was never coming back, it was time to release himself from the guilt that prohibited him from being happy.

  On the drive to work, he turned the radio up and began singing along. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d sung so loudly in the car in the morning, but here he was, acting completely unlike his normal, stuffy, controlled self, belting out the lyrics to some pop song. He was a little disturbed that he knew the lyrics, but it was something he wasn’t going to dwell on.

  He was still singing loudly and off-key when he pulled into the parking garage and parked his car, and after the twenty-minute drive, his voice was beginning to sound a little raspy. He parked, got out, and as he turned to head to the elevator, he saw Mrs. Butcher standing by the car next to his.

  Her face was a mixture of disgust and shock as she asked, “Dr. Harris, were you just singing a Britany Spears song?”

  Ethan frowned, not exactly sure who he was singing along to, but supposed it could’ve been. He shrugged his shoulders and smiled. “Well, I didn’t know that was a Britany Spears song, but yes, I was singing to it.”

  One side of her mouth quirked into an odd smile and then she turned for the elevator. Ethan followed her and they boarded the elevator in awkward silence. Ethan couldn’t help but look at Mrs. Butcher from the corner of his eye as she stood stiffly, her bag clutched fervently against her chest as if she expected someone to yank it from her at any second. Her short brown hair was stick straight and clung to her head in limp, thin strands. He watched as she pushed her black glasses farther up her nose with her thick index finger, and he suddenly wondered when was the last time she’d had sex. He figured it had to be why she was so uptight and then he suddenly felt nauseous for even thinking about Mrs. Butcher having sex. What the hell was wrong with him? With those last thoughts leaving a bad taste in his mouth, he turned his attention to Brooke for the rest of the elevator ride.

  Relieved when the elevator dinged open, he gave a nod to Mrs. Butcher and headed to his office. Brooke was off today, so he knew there wouldn’t be any distractions throughout the day. Bumping into her while at work was hard sometimes because, if his mind began to venture to the day they had hot office sex, he was a total mess the rest of the day. That had only happened the one time, and he had yet to entice Brooke to do it again. She was too afraid of getting caught.

  After going through his patient list, he began making his rounds.

  It had been a busy and hectic day, and he was beyond exhausted and ready to get home. He look
ed at his watch, seeing that it was now heading on five thirty, and was ready to see this last patient and head home. The day had been long, and he still had some paperwork and emails to finish up before he called it a day.

  As Ethan knocked lightly on the door, he heard a tiny voice say, “Come in.”

  He pushed open the door, and as he stepped in, the familiar face that his eyes landed on sent a sharp pain into his chest. He couldn’t breathe for a minute; all he could do was stare. At first, he thought his eyes were deceiving him, but the look on the woman’s face gave him the confirmation he needed. Her blue eyes regarded him with shock and fear as she lay in the hospital bed. They both stood staring at each other, neither one knowing what to say. Ethan swallowed, his throat suddenly wanting to close up and suffocate him, just like the barrage of feelings were doing as they rocketed to the surface. The moment was surreal to him and the air in the room was thick and heavy. The woman continued to stare at him, her small hand now resting on her chest in shock. Her hair was now stark black instead of strawberry blonde and she was twenty pounds heavier, but he knew that face, regardless of the small changes she had made. And why had she made these subtle changes? Why was the name on his file for this woman different than the name he knew?

  “Olivia?” Ethan finally managed the word that he never thought he’d say again. His voice came out in a whisper, and he almost dropped his laptop. He took one step closer, and then paused, not able to get his feet to move any farther.

  “Oh my God,” she breathed, her hand now covering her mouth as she stared.

  “What the hell is going on?” Ethan asked, his deep voice cracked mid-sentence and his hand raked through his dark hair as he stood in the middle of the room. The scenario made him feel like he was in a Lifetime movie, it was that unreal. Things like this didn’t happen to normal people.

  “Ethan, I... can explain,” she said, breaking her gaze and looking away. Guilt darkened her light blue eyes and she covered her face with her hand as tears began to stream down her cheeks.

  Ethan’s hands trembled as he stood there, watching the woman he had loved, the woman he had grieved, cried real tears because she was alive, not dead like she had led him to think. Anger began to replace shock and he had to ask the question. “Why... and where the hell have you been all these years?”

  Her eyes now met his at the raw emotion that flowed from his words. She looked up at him and shook her head. “I’m sorry.”

  He couldn’t do this. Not right now. He turned his back on her and dropped his head, his eyes staring at the small crack that shattered the perfect tiled floor. This scenario right now was that crack. Just when he thought his life was finally perfect, a crack developed, threatening to destroy everything. “I can’t... hear this right now,” he finally said, and walked out of the room.

  After he pulled the door shut, he sank back against it, closing his eyes as his head fell back. His mind raced with images of their life together. They had been together for three years. They had lived together and talked about getting married one day. And then one day she was just gone. He had done everything to find her, but now, it turns out she had never wanted to be found. He had an idea why she had done this, but they had talked about her issues, and she had seemed to be doing better. Did she not trust him to help her get through what had happened?

  He pushed away from the door and took off down the hall. His strides were long and urgent as he headed towards Nick’s office. With a shaky hand, he knocked once on the door before walking in.

  “Ethan, are you all right?” Nick asked, when he looked up and saw Ethan in the doorway.

  “Yeah, um, I just have a family emergency. Can you do a follow up on the patient in room 3105, please?” Ethan shuffled from foot to foot, ready to dart out the door. He couldn’t handle this right now. He had so many questions, but he didn’t have the nerve to sit down and hear her out right now. Even after five years it was somehow still too soon. He just needed to get out of this stuffy hospital that was suffocating him, and get some air so he could calm down and think straight.

  “Of course, I can. I hope everything is all right?” Nick asked, as he took a step towards Ethan. His eyes were full of concern as he watched Ethan shift nervously. “You don’t need to explain, just go, I’ll cover your last patient,” Nick said, placing his hands-on Ethan’s elbows and urging him out the door.

  Ethan gave him a grateful look as he said, “Thanks, Nick, I owe you one.”

  “No, you don’t, just take care of your emergency,” he said, giving Ethan a pat on the back.

  Ethan hurried down the hall and out into the parking garage towards his car. He leaned against his car and let out a frustrated breath before rearing back and slamming his fists into the roof. He wailed on his car for several minutes before finally collapsing against it. He rested his forehead against the side of the car as his lungs fought to pull in air. The footsteps that echoed in the parking garage made him lift his head, and he turned to his right to see a passerby giving him an odd look as she headed for the elevator. He sighed as he pulled out his keys and got in his car. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and his heart sank when he pulled it out and saw it was Brooke. He closed his eyes in pain and ignored the call. There was no way he was up for explaining any of this right now, especially to her.

  He didn’t know what he was going to do.

  Chapter 25

  BROOKE

  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Butcher, but I’m putting my two weeks’ notice in.” Brooke paused and looked down at her hands, feeling dread at saying this next part out loud. “I’m moving to New York City to take care of my sister, who has been diagnosed with cancer.” She swallowed the tears back. The last thing she wanted to do was start the day off crying in, of all places, Mrs. Butcher’s office.

  “Ms. Todd, I’m incredibly sorry to hear that. I completely understand. I hope everything goes well with your sister,” Mrs. Butcher said.

  “Thank you, I hope so, too. She has already started treatment, but she’s getting to the point where it’s wiping her out and she needs help. It’s not unlike her to wait until the last minute to ask for help. I don’t want to leave you without a nurse, though, because I know how short staffed we are here.” Brooke had considered asking for a week’s notice, but the hospital was always busy and she knew there was no way they could let her go until they found a replacement.

  Mrs. Butcher tapped her pen against the desk and then said, “There is a chance that we could let you leave next week, if that’s something you need to do. We have float nurses who could pick up your shift until I hire a new nurse.” She rested her chin on her hands and said, “Do you want me to check the float schedule for next week?”

  With a tight-lipped smile, Brooke nodded. “That would help me out a lot, Mrs. Butcher. Thanks, I really appreciate it. My sister doesn’t have anyone to help her out up there, and I’d like to get up there as soon as possible.”

  “Then it’s settled. This will be your last week, so I’ll let HR know,” Mrs. Butcher said, as she gave her a small smile.

  “I thought you had to check the schedule?” Brooke asked.

  “I’m sure we can find someone. Your sister is more important. You can use your vacation days that last week and it will be all taken care of. You’ll leave in good standing with us.”

  Brooke wiped at her cheek, not able to fight the tears back. “Thank you so much. My sister will be very happy to hear this,” she said as she stood.

  Mrs. Butcher stood and held her hand out. “If I don’t see you before the end of the week, I want you know that you’ve been a great nurse here. You’ve been compassionate and professional. I couldn’t have asked for a better person to take care of our patients.”

  Brooke shook her hand and smiled. “Well, the patients have meant the world to me.” She gave Mrs. Butcher another smile and then turned for the door.

  As she walked dow
n the hall and watched all the nurses and doctors hustling around, she suddenly felt out of place. Only a week left here and then she would be in a totally different state, no longer caring for strangers, instead, she’d be caring for her sick, or possibly dying, sister.

  She still had twenty minutes before she needed to clock in, so she turned down the hall that led to Ethan’s office. He hadn’t called her back last night and she wanted to see what was going on. Plus, at some point she needed to talk to him and tell him she was moving.

  His door was open and she peeked inside, only to see an empty desk. The computer was on and his coffee mug was sitting next to the phone, but he was gone. She sighed as she turned around and headed towards her unit. She figured he’d be out on rounds, but she had hoped to catch him.

  A woman called out from a room and Brooke stopped. She took a few steps backwards and saw a woman waving her hand to get her attention. “Can I help you?” she asked as she stepped inside.

  “Yes, I pushed the call light twenty minutes ago and a nurse was supposed to come in, but I haven’t seen anyone yet.” The woman smiled shyly and said, “I just need a glass of water, please. My throat feels like sandpaper.”

  “Of course. I’m so sorry no one has come in yet. They’re getting ready to do a shift change so sometimes they get preoccupied and forget. I’ll go grab you an ice water. Do you need anything else before I go?” Brooke asked, as she picked up a few pieces of trash on the table.

  “Oh, no, just water, but thanks.”

  Brooke nodded and walked out of the room towards the snack room where the cups and fountain drinks were. As she watched the cup fill with water, she thought about how she only had a week left of being a nurse. It didn’t seem right, but nothing about this situation felt right. Her sister being sick. Having to leave her job, Ethan, and move to a new city. Everything about her life was being drastically turned inside out.