Thankful

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  Not completely trusting him, she shook her head. “I’d rather not.”

  “Please? Just for a minute or two? Until we catch our breath?”

  Knowing that he would surely pull her down beside him if she didn’t follow his lead, she sat. As soon as she did, he surprised her again by pulling her a little closer.

  After a brief pause, he slipped not one but both of his arms around her, safely enclosing her against his warm, solid body. Surrounding her with his scent, with everything Aden.

  For a time he didn’t say a word, seeming to understand that she needed the time to quietly get herself under control. Little by little she relaxed against him, and as her breathing returned to normal, she became aware of how good it felt to be held by him.

  Truly, it was the stuff of her dreams. But of course she’d never imagined the first time she’d feel his arms around her would be when she was having a panic attack at the edge of the frozen pond.

  After another few minutes passed, he murmured, “Christy, one day we should go over there and skate. I know it will be hard, but I think your fears will ease if you face them. After all, you used to love to skate. You used to fly across the ice. Remember?”

  “That’s in the past.”

  “It doesn’t have to be.”

  “That’s easy for you to say.”

  “It’s not. I hate seeing you so upset. I hate to see you cry. But I care enough about you to help you get through this.”

  She could hardly even stand on the banks! “I think not.”

  “I’ll be with you. It will be all right. . . . I would never leave your side.”

  “Aden, it doesn’t matter. I can’t ice-skate ever again.”

  “When we get on the ice, I swear I won’t let anything happen to you. You know that, right?”

  “My fear, it’s not slight. It’s big, Aden. Massive. It consumes me.” Staring hard at him, she ached for him to understand. “I’ve had it so long, I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it.”

  He lowered his head. They were so close, she literally had to move her head back so their noses didn’t brush each other. “You will, Christy. If you want to, you will.”

  “You sound so certain.”

  “I am. I believe in you.”

  She noticed his gaze drift over her face. And then, just like that, everything between them changed. No longer was she shaking because of fear; instead she was trembling because she was in his arms.

  No longer was she thinking about her worst fears, but instead recalling her best fantasy.

  Watching him, she noticed his gaze had turned heated. He glanced at her lips. Glanced again.

  And right then, though she had little experience, she knew what was about to happen. Just as she knew if she pulled away he would let her.

  When she met his gaze again, he was still staring at her. A fierce longing lit his eyes, turning the caramel shade to a darker brown.

  She inhaled, mesmerized.

  For a brief moment Aden looked as if he was debating with himself. Then, with a sigh, he shifted his arms, leaned close, and kissed her.

  His lips brushed against hers gently. Once, twice.

  She closed her eyes and sighed. And right then, right there, the very worst place on earth somehow became the very best.

  Suddenly, she hoped they’d never ever leave.

  chapter eleven

  Having Christina in his arms was everything Aden had imagined it would be. She felt pliant and soft. Feminine and sweet. Innocent and trusting.

  All the love and tenderness he’d felt for her for half his life bubbled to the surface and he ached to fold her back into his arms. Closer. And never let her go.

  As he gazed into her lovely light blue eyes, he saw happiness shining in their depths, and he knew that happiness was surely a reflection of his own eyes. For too long he’d dreamed about this moment. And it was just as perfect as he’d always imagined it would be.

  It was also the very thing he’d sworn to himself would never happen. Appalled, he pulled away from her and jumped to his feet.

  Christina swayed as she regained her balance. “What in the world, Aden?”

  He had to give it to her. Christina might be younger and innocent and have an irrational fear of a frozen pond, but one thing was for certain—she was no shrinking violet. While some girls might feel awkward and shy, she was looking at him with something akin to irritation.

  And because he spied the same passion in her eyes that he was trying his best to keep at bay, he took another step back. And did the right thing.

  “Christina, I’m so sorry.”

  She got to her feet, taking time to brush off the back of her dress. Only then did she look directly at him. “What exactly are you sorry for?”

  How could she ask that? “You know what. For taking you here. For forcing you to stand on the bank.” He took a breath and made himself say what he was really sorry about. “For kissing you.”

  Something flickered in her eyes. “You regret our kiss?”

  No. “Yes.”

  “Because?”

  He had no idea. “Ah, because you are so much younger.”

  “I’m barely two years younger, Aden.”

  “You were in a vulnerable situation.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “I was vulnerable. I was terrified of standing next to the skating pond.”

  “I know.” That excuse would do as well as any.

  To his dismay, she stared at him a good long moment. “And you think that I kiss men when I am afraid?”

  Now he felt his cheeks burn. “Christina, you know that’s not what I think.” He felt as flustered as a teenage boy on his first date. And though this might have been her first kiss, it certainly wasn’t his.

  And because of that, because he felt more flustered than she seemed to be, he strove to regain some control of the situation. “You know what? I think it would be best if we didn’t talk about that kiss any longer. We need to get back. I’m sure your parents are wondering where we are.”

  “I’m sure you are right.” She turned and started walking toward the house, her steps even and sure.

  And because he was a fool, he rushed to her side and then overtook her, wanting to lead the way. Because, well, he was the man. And because he had completely lost control of the situation. And because no matter what he said, he still wanted to be by her side.

  Christina muttered something under her breath that he was glad he couldn’t hear.

  If he’d been alone, he would have hung his head. He was acting like a jerk. In so many ways.

  Luckily, the house loomed just ahead of them.

  Lucky, too, their time next to the pond had given them a little burst of energy. At least now he knew she wasn’t exhausted and weepy.

  When they were close enough to see that most of the family was outside watching for them, Aden attempted to interject a thread of joy in his voice. “Christina, would you look at that? We’re almost back. And it looks as if Maisey alerted everyone that we were on our way, too.”

  “Jah. Isn’t that something? It’s wunderbaar,” she echoed. Sarcastically, for sure.

  If they weren’t so close to her family, he would have turned around to see her expression. Instead, he made do with giving her a little warning. “I don’t think anyone needs to know what happened at the pond. We should probably keep what happened to ourselves.”

  “Aden? You don’t want my parents to know that you wrapped your arms around me and that we kissed? Why on earth not?”

  He slowed his pace, so that they were now walking side by side. “You know why,” he bit out, not trusting himself to say anything else. Then he made things worse by taking her hand.

  He told himself he was only taking her hand to keep her with him so that he could force her to listen. To see reason.

  But that had obviously been an egregious error.

  Because her eyes glittered with triumph. And then, to his dismay, her fingers gripped his securely, practically trappi
ng his hand in hers.

  Even though it was likely that her parents and siblings were going to see them holding hands.

  “Obviously, I don’t know much anymore, especially since you’re a whole two years older than me. Why don’t you explain things to me, Aden? Do you think my parents will imagine that there is something between us?” She looked pointedly at their linked hands. “Something special?”

  There was something special, of course. There always had been. “You know, sarcasm doesn’t become you.”

  Her chin rose. “Well, lying doesn’t become you.”

  And then she had the audacity to smile when he attempted to pull his hand away.

  “Oh, no, Aden,” she whispered. “You reached out to me. You slipped your hand in mine. You’re keeping it there a few seconds longer. And right at this moment, I hope my whole family sees us holding hands.”

  Now he was blushing. Blushing! “Christina—”

  “Mamm! Daed!” she called out right over his words. Right over whatever he had been about to say to attempt to defuse the situation.

  Not that all that much would have been possible. So far, he was doing a fairly good job of messing everything up. He’d become a master of saying the right words while doing the wrong thing.

  “We made it back, safe and sound. It’s so good to see all of you,” she added as both of her parents walked toward them, dressed like Eskimos.

  “Thank the good Lord,” her mother said with a happy smile. “We were starting to worry!”

  “You shouldn’t have worried. After all, Aden was with me. And he would never let anything happen to me.” Raising her eyebrows, she smiled sweetly at him. “Would you, Aden?”

  When he pulled hard on his hand, she at last released her grip. Obviously happy to have it free, he gave his hand a little shake. And then stilled as he realized they were all awaiting a response. “That is true. I would never cause her harm.”

  Christina smiled grimly. “That is Aden, ain’t so? He’s so wonderful. Why, he’s always thinking of me. Always thinking of what is best for me.”

  While he shot her a dark look, her mother clasped them both in her arms, one after the other. “When Maisey got here without you, my heart fairly leaped to my throat! I’ll be having to say extra prayers tonight. Maybe even for the rest of the year.”

  “I’ll be praising to Got, as well,” her father said. “I started imagining that all kinds of terrible things happened to the two of you.”

  “I don’t think we were in any danger. Were we, Aden?”

  “Well, it was a long walk.”

  Her father clasped him on the shoulder as they started walking ahead. “What in the world happened?”

  “No one had treated the roads. They got mighty slushy mighty fast. One minute Maisey was doing just fine, the next the buggy started sliding something awful. Christina and I elected to walk Maisey back instead of risk injuring her.”

  “When we got closer, Aden let her go on ahead,” she explained. “He wanted to take a peek at the pond.”

  Aden felt his heart drop as both Joe and Martha stared at him in shock.

  “We weren’t there for very long,” he muttered.

  Christina smiled. “Just long enough.”

  Both of her parents stilled. “Long enough for what?” her mother asked.

  “Long enough to stand on the bank,” he said.

  “Christina, I know that the pond can still bring up bad memories. That’s a big step, you being able to get so close. And you did all right?” her father asked.

  Aden inwardly groaned as Christina cast him yet another dry look. “Oh, sure. Aden stayed right by my side every step of the way. I am so grateful for his care.”

  “I would’ve felt terrible if something had happened to you,” he said. “But you are fine, jah?” he asked. After all, if she was determined to talk in multiple meanings, he could, too. “No harm was done.”

  “I am perfectly fine. And you are right, Aden. I am no worse for wear after our little bit of excitement. Thank you again for seeing me home.”

  “You are welcome,” he bit out. When her parents looked at him strangely, he pointed toward the barn. “I had best go take care of Maisey.”

  “You will do no such thing. The boys will take care of Maisey,” her father said. “You two need to come inside and get warm before you get sick.”

  “I won’t get sick, Mamm,” Christina said.

  “You might,” her mother replied as she wrapped an arm around her daughter’s shoulders. “One never knows what the Lord has in our future. All I do know is that even stranger things have happened. Ain’t so?”

  “You’re exactly right, Mamm,” Christina said. “Sometimes the strangest things happen when you least expect it. And pretending it never happened doesn’t change a thing.” Right before she entered the house, Christina glared at Aden over her mother’s shoulder.

  Feeling like his insides were twisted into a thousand knots, Aden felt more confused about himself and Christina than ever before.

  The only thing he was certain about was that first thing in the morning, he was heading to the bank. The sooner he got out of Christina’s life, the better it would be.

  For both of them.

  chapter twelve

  “Jana, someone is here to see you,” Marla called out in a singsong voice from the doorway.

  Glancing up from the computer screen in her office, Jana frowned. “Who is it?”

  “That new policeman.” Marla smiled. “The one who came down to the restaurant the day the Grabers’ store got broken into. Remember him?”

  Oh, yes she did. Ross Capshaw had been on her mind more than she cared to admit. It took everything she had to keep from smoothing out her dress and hair.

  And though her interest was surely painfully transparent, she asked, “Did he actually ask to see me? Or, um, did he only come in for a meal?”

  Marla looked delighted to replay the conversation. “Well, when I first sat him down, he asked if you were working today. Then, when I said yes, you were working, but that you were in your office doing paperwork and such, he asked if you usually came out to the dining room.”

  “He did?”

  “Uh-huh.” Looking especially amused, Marla said, “He looked real determined to see you, like it would make his day. So that makes me think that he came here looking for you, not just a bowl of soup. Don’t you think?”

  Yes, she did! Well, she hoped that’s what it meant, anyway. “Maybe I should go see what he wants.”

  “I think that’s a real good idea..”

  Ignoring Marla’s smirk, she said, “Well, then. I’ll be right out.” She certainly hoped that she sounded a whole lot cooler and blasé than she felt inside.

  But Marla’s amused grin told her that Jana wasn’t fooling her for a minute. “Just to let you know, he ordered a glass of iced tea and then asked to look at the pie menu. I think that means he’s intending to be here for a while.”

  “Um. Yes.”

  Marla winked. “I’ll let him know that you’ll be out shortly.”

  When she was alone again, Jana closed her door. Giving in to temptation, she fixed her makeup. And then decided she might as well pull a brush through her honey-gold hair.

  And then she did what was most needed: She gave herself a stern talking-to. Just because he was the first man since Harrison she’d felt anything close to a spark with—it surely didn’t mean that he felt anything like interest in her.

  Why, he probably only stopped by to fill her in on the latest with the robbery investigation. And who knows? Maybe he was hoping to get another free piece of pie.

  She’d probably imagined that they’d shared some kind of connection when they met. Why, who even knew what his status was, anyway? For all she knew, he had a longtime girlfriend.

  And what did she care about all that, anyway? Wasn’t she supposed to be done with dating at fifty-eight?

  The moment she walked out of her office and into the kitchen, sh
e scanned the room and saw both Ruth and Marla looking like they were trying very hard not to be interested in her business.

  “You look real nice, Jana,” Ruth said, obviously noticing her fresh lipstick and the way her hair was now neatly resting on her shoulders.

  Jana debated whether to ignore the cheeky comment but then decided pride was way overrated. “Do you two think I look okay?” She frowned. “Or does it look like I’m trying too hard?”

  “You look like yourself,” Ruth said with a smile. “Real pretty.”

  She took a step toward the dining room, then gave in to temptation—and her small case of nervousness. “Marla, do you really think that policeman came back just for the pie?”

  Marla’s eyes twinkled. “Nope. When I went out to pour him tea, he asked if I’d talked to you. That has to mean something good. Don’tcha think, Ruth?”

  Looking a bit like the Cheshire cat, Ruth nodded. “Most definitely.”

  Jana let herself smile. And gave in to temptation and revealed her thoughts. Marla and Ruth were her employees, but they were her friends, too.

  And since Marla was married and Ruth widowed, she knew that they knew enough about life for her not to feel completely ridiculous about how giddy she was feeling. “It kind of feels that way to me, too. I mean, it’s been a while since I’ve had a man show any interest in me, but it sounds promising.”

  “Mighty promising,” Ruth said. “Now you’d best go on in that dining room before our newest policeman notices that the three of us are all standing here staring at him like a trio of bashful girls.”

  “Oh my gosh! That would be terrible!” With a shake of her shoulders, she gathered her courage, lifted her chin, and then strode out to the dining room.

  There were a lot of people dining. Almost every table was filled.

  But it didn’t seem to matter. Right away, her gaze fastened on Ross. He was sipping a glass of iced tea and looking at something on his cell phone. Glad he was unaware of her—at least for the moment—she forced herself to scan the room.

  It was gratifying to see more of the tables filled than usual. Pippa also looked to be handling the front counter with ease. They’d agreed to move forward with the partnership slowly. For now, Pippa was putting in a few hours a week working in different parts of the restaurant.