Privileged

by Stevens, Madison

  “Good morning!” he said. “I’m James Weston. Dr. Ford is the advising professor, but due to family issues, he won’t be able to attend lectures. Being his graduate student, I get the opportunity to guide you through the wonderful world of literature.”

  James smiled at the class and more than a few girls sighed, myself included. He was exactly the type of man I saw myself with. Curly thick brown hair, slightly unkempt, glasses, slim build and a charming smile. He wasn’t a knock out but a solidly nice-looking man. Someone real. Someone who stood on their own. And it didn’t hurt that he knew his literature.

  “I want to show you literature in a whole new light. Guide you through the ethos of the author and the process of the craft. We’ll delve deep into the bowels of literature and wade through the murky waters.” His voice carried around the room as he smiled at the captive audience. “And in the end, I hope to bring you to the other side with a new perspective on life in general.”

  I beamed at the idea. This was exactly what I was looking for. Someone to push past the doors and take in all that was out there.

  A loud snort came from beside me. Every eye in the room turned to Gavin, including James, who was staring hard at the two of us.

  “Do you share your friend’s disdain?” James looked directly at me.

  “Of course not!” I tried to scoot away, but Gavin had locked his arm behind my chair. “I’m waiting eagerly to be guided through this class.” I smiled sweetly.

  “I bet he’d just love to guide you,” Gavin mumbled.

  James flicked his focus once more to Gavin but returned my smile.

  “I’m so glad to hear it.” He turned and spoke a little louder. “So let’s get started.”

  The lecture wasn’t as long as normal. James talked about the works we’d be reading and even handed out our first assignment. Each month we’d be asked to find something that related to our reading that also had meaning in our own lives. It sounded like a fun assignment, and I could already feel my wheels turning.

  After slipping my bag on my shoulder, I made my way from the hall.

  “Wait, Em.” Gavin reached out and pressed his hand to the small of my back. He gently guided me out the door. “You don’t really buy into all that crap do you?”

  “What crap?” I turned to the side to look at him.

  “All that bullshit about taking you to the other side.” His hand tightened at my back.

  “It’s not bullshit though.” I felt anger bubbling inside. “The right process should take us to a whole new level.”

  Gavin shook his head. “What he’s talking about is just reading comprehension skills, and I know first-hand you already have those.”

  “Maybe, but I’m not going to be able to get into the mind of the author.”

  “And he can?” Gavin threw his hand wide in aggravation.

  “Maybe.” I shrugged. “I don’t see why it matters to you.”

  His hand slid off my back as he stopped.

  “No,” he said coldly. “I suppose it doesn’t.”

  I watched in shock as he stalked away. I really didn’t see why it would matter to him. He wasn’t going to be an English major. As a matter of fact, as far as I knew he was being primed to take over his father’s legacy of hotel and hospital ownership.

  I shook my head. His hang-ups had nothing to do with me. In fact, aside from Grace, we had nothing in common. Something pricked the back of my mind that this might not be totally true, but I pushed the thought away. Regardless, he was not the guy I wanted in my world. Now James might be another story.

  Chapter Four

  The sun was shining, and the air still held hints of summer. It was nice being outside for a change. It had been some time since I’d just enjoyed the outdoors. Most summers I had spent at Gran’s place, but this year it just didn’t seems right without her.

  Grace had tried to convince me to take a trip to the house, but I just couldn’t. It was something I’d have to get over if I planned on living there next year. I sighed. Today was not the day to deal with this.

  The only good thing about having such an early morning class was that most of my day was open. I stopped at a stand selling bagels and coffee on my way to the most comfortable tree I had ever seen. Maybe I’m odd, but I love a good tree. Now a good tree means wide branches for shade, some exposed roots to saddle my butt and a location away from everyone and everything. Yes, this was the perfect reading tree.

  I tossed my jacket onto the ground and settled in. I might be making great progress on my classical reading list, but that was part of my effort to be the fine English student. My passions were far more adventurous. Be it pirates, car chases, sordid romance or criminal masterminds, I just loved to lose myself in the world created by the author.

  About an hour in, I was fully engrossed in my latest love, a heart-racing horror. The teens had just entered the abandoned warehouse and noticed the blood-streaked floor.

  “Hey, you!” I nearly jumped out of my skin when Grace plopped down beside me.

  “You scared the shit out of me!” I said, turning off my e-reader.

  Grace rolled her eyes. “I told you that you shouldn’t be reading those scary books. You won’t be able to sleep at night.”

  I laughed. “I think you might be mistaking me for you.”

  She stuck her tongue out. I laughed even harder.

  “So what are you up to?” I looked around for Chance. The two had been inseparable for the past year, and it was rare to see them not together.

  “Chance had to go to class.” She wrinkled her nose. “Looks like the business classes all start early. Thank god I’m in marketing.”

  “Not that you even like it,” I mumbled.

  Grace sighed loudly. We had gone round and round on this one. She hated the idea of going into marketing, but it was the best thing her parents could find that would use her artistic talent.

  “Well not all of us are lucky enough to follow a dream.” She huffed and folded her hands on the brightly colored maxi dress. “Some of us have to think practically.”

  I rolled my eyes. The exact line my parents had pulled. Actually, they pulled every trick in the book, including the threat to stop my funding. I laughed. Not only was I here on a half-ride scholarship, but Gran had left me a nice amount. Even if they were fully supporting me they wouldn’t stop the funding. How would it look if their only child didn’t even get a degree? An English degree was better than nothing. About the only thing they took solace in was my interest in publishing. Of course, I hadn’t told them I wanted to go into children’s publishing, but that would be a nice Christmas treat.

  “You’re right,” I said quietly. No point in having this fight again. “So what’s up?”

  Grace was the master of plans, and you knew it was a good one when she couldn’t help but light up. Of course, this didn’t always bode well for me, but what can you do?

  “We’re going to a party this weekend.” She was nearly bouncing from excitement.

  I groaned inwardly. College parties were just drunken hookup festivals that I wanted nothing to do with.

  “Now don’t give me that look,” Grace pouted. “Please? It’s the first one of the year and will be right after the football game.”

  I checked the time on my phone. Close to time for history. When I looked up, her pleading eyes tore through me.

  “Fine,” I groaned and stood up. “But I’m not wearing some trashy outfit.”

  “Oh the outfit! We’ll have to get ready together.” I knew she was ignoring what I said, and I’d end up in some too-short low-cut number that would have me checking to make sure my boobs weren’t falling out.

  “It’s going to be so much fun! Maybe we can get the whole gang together. I heard Chet made it on the team. It will be just like old times.” My stomach rolled at her words. “Even Julia will be there.” That made my stomach roll even more. The last thing I needed was to be around Gavin’s bitchy ex, but that was only a minor annoyance comp
ared to Chet.

  Just like old times. I shuddered. Two years trying to get over him. Two years trying to get past all the pain and anguish his name caused. I stopped and turned to look at Grace.

  She had the decency to at least put on a sheepish smile. “Sorry,” she said. “I just got so caught up and forgot.”

  “Thanks,” I spat out. “Next time you get fucked over, maybe I’ll just forget.”

  I turned and walked away.

  Seething, I made my way to class, ignoring her plea for me to stop. Chet. Just the mention of his name still caused my chest to ache. Everyone had pushed for us to be together, and it just seemed so right. His parents owned a number of hot clubs across the country, so Chet was the ultimate guy to be with. My parents loved that he was so well connected, and my friends loved that he could get us into the best parties around. Me, well, I think what I like most was that he always said the right thing.

  I laughed bitterly as I took my seat in the back. Screw the third row. Last thing I wanted was to be front and center when I had my melt down.

  Don’t know why I hadn’t thought Chet would come to the school. We had even talked about this.

  My head slumped to my hands as I thought of the last time I’d seen him.

  Chet had been in the same grade as Gavin and nearly as popular. It had taken me weeks to pick my outfit for the big end of year party, my first little black dress. His parents were letting us use their lake house, or mansion by the bay as we called it. I was going to be amazing, and everything had to be just right. I wanted it to be just right. He was so amazing and attentive. I was just sure that our first time would be magical.

  I shook my head in my hands and laughed inwardly. Magical? What exactly was I expecting? He’d unzip his pants and rainbows and glitter would spray out? Yeah, the expectations of a girl are so unreachable, or at least mine were. Of course, it could have been so much more than it was.

  Five minutes on my back. The worst pain imaginable and absolutely none of the attentiveness I had come to know. Chet wasn’t just a selfish lover but a bad one. When he was finished I tried to calm myself with the fact that it would get better. We would get better. Hell, we had to get better. Everyone expected it. I placed on hand on his bronzed chest, and the other in his short golden hair. He might have been shit for a lover, but he certainly was good to look at.

  “What are you doing after graduation?” I asked. I wanted to get my mind off my less than impressive introduction to the sexual world.

  He sighed loudly. “Mom and Dad are making me go on a European tour with them. Twelve weeks of pure hell.”

  I giggled at the thought of him trapped with his parents all summer. Despite our relationship, I worried he might find someone else to focus on.

  “Well,” I said, swallowing the last of my giggles. “When does class start? Maybe I could drive with you to your new dorm.”

  I looked up to meet his eyes when he lay silent for too long. He was looking off to the other side of his room.

  “Chet?” I placed my hand on the side of his face to make him look at me. “What’s going on?”

  He sat up quickly and bounced on the bed.

  “What did you expect was going to happen?” He shoved his pants back on and stood over me. “That you would start college in a few years, and we’d live happily ever after?”

  I sat in shock. In fact, that’s exactly what I had thought. Why wouldn’t I?

  He sat on the bed and took my hand. I stared at it, afraid it might burst into flames at any moment.

  “Listen, you’re a nice girl, Emma, but you have to know we come from different worlds.”

  My mouth dropped open.

  “Different worlds?” I repeated.

  He nodded. “My parents think you’re great, but let’s be honest, being with me is great for you, but there’s no benefit on my end.”

  “What?” I ripped my hand away and glared at him.

  “You need to be practical.” He stood and paced. “This has really been fun, but my family isn’t connected enough for me not to care who I end up with. Now that I’m going to college, I really need to make an effort to find someone who can boost me.”

  My ears started to ring as he went on.

  “If I was going into medical field or photography it would a great match, but I’m going into international business.” He smiled sadly, like it really was a shame we weren’t a good match.

  My stomach rolled as I twisted around to slip back on my very special outfit. This was not how it was supposed to go. My fingers fumbled with the zipper. When his fingers brushed mine to help, I jumped forward.

  “Don’t you fucking touch me!” I spat and yanked the damn thing up.

  “Don’t be like that,” he said.

  I held up my hand and pointed at him.

  “Don’t be like what? Like some sort of used trash that isn’t good enough to wipe your ass?” My hand shook with emotions just barely kept in check.

  He scowled at my display.

  “You had to know this was coming. That the only reason you fit into this crowd is because of Grace and her family.” He stepped closer, pushing my finger against his chest. “And let’s be honest, even then, you still don’t quite fit in. You’re strange. All you want to do is read or be with your grandmother.” He shook his head and seemed to be struggling with the core of who I was. The person I thought he liked. “You want my advice, stop living in a daydream and be like everyone else, or you’re never going to move up.”

  Move up? This twat thought I cared about moving up in life? His smug face was so close I could just feel the douchiness radiating off of him.

  He put his hand on my shoulder. “But this doesn’t mean we have to end. I’ve still got a week before we leave.”

  I snapped. He was going to call himself my better, and yet I was supposed to stick around to be his booty call? Fuck that.

  I reacted without thinking, and it was most exhilarating moment of my life. I pulled my hand back and socked him right in the eye. There may not have been a lot of power behind it, and it might have hurt my hand like crazy, but there was no way I was taking it back.

  “You crazy bitch!” he yelled. “You think you can get away with that? I’m going to call the cops on your ass.”

  I didn’t care. Let them come.

  After making my way to the door, I opened it and stopped. People were milling around outside, trying to hear what was going on. “Go ahead and call them. I’ll be sure to mention what we were doing prior to this.”

  His face turned ashen.

  “Although, I really wonder if I can’t still count myself as a virgin.” I heard several murmurs in the hall. “Two minutes just doesn’t seem long enough to really count as sex.”

  I slammed the door on his angry red face and turned to face the growing crowd.

  Gavin stood just outside the crowd and when I locked eyes with him, I knew my courage was failing.

  “Come with me,” he said and pulled me along by the hand. Without a word, we moved through the house until found we Grace and Chance, snuggled in a corner.

  Gavin and I came to stand directly in front of her, hand in hand. Grace looked at us one at a time.

  “You need to take her home,” he said. The muscles in his jaw twitched.

  Grace looked at me again. I must have been quite the sight. She stood and folded me into her arms.

  “What are you going to do?” she asked over my head.

  “I’ve got some things to take care of,” he said. His fingers gently rubbed my wrist, and then they were gone.

  As we drove home, I sobbed my story to Grace and Chance. Grace lovingly petted my head and said soothing words. I stayed with her that night and came out of it with a stronger friendship. She had been the rock I needed and that was something.

  I jolted from my past memories of Chet when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and smiled.

  Grace: I’m sorry.

  Emma: I know.

  G
race: Still love me?

  I smiled. She always knew how to get me.

  Emma: You know I do.

  Grace: We still on for Friday?

  Emma: Yes, but if he’s there, I’m leaving.

  Grace: Fair enough.

  Emma: Now leave me alone. I’ve got history to learn.

  Grace: Nerd.

  Emma: Bitch.

  I smiled and switched my phone off. Maybe it was good I remembered all this. I wasn’t about to join the rat race, and no amount of tempting from certain hot men was about to change that. It was also fun to remember that beating up guys is cathartic.

  Chapter Five

  It had been a long week, and I wasn’t exactly looking forward to the weekend. For some reason I seemed to have picked classes that required a lot of writing. Yes, I know this shouldn’t have been a surprise, but college is very different from high school. Not only were there papers due in all my humanities classes about every week, but anything that had to do with math piled on the work.

  I sat at the desk in my room and stared down at my economics book. If we had been in the Wild West, I so would have won that battle. But here and now, econ was kicking my ass. It seemed so interesting, but throw in the numbers, and it all got twisted around.

  “Calc?”

  Grace startled me so bad, the pencil in my hand soared across the room. Like always, she looked like she just stepped out of a modeling shoot. Long blonde hair cascaded over her slim shoulders. The striking navy pantsuit really emphasized her narrow waist and ample breasts. My jeans and t-shirt seems like rags compared to her.

  “Econ,” I said, retrieving my lost pencil.

  She leaned over the book and looked at my notes. When I came to sit down, she took the pencil from my hand and completed the formula with ease.

  “Want to take my test for me?” I grinned at her.

  “It’s simple. You just weren’t calculating the total imports correctly, so your net imports weren’t coming out right. It’s the hardest one to get when calculating aggregate demand.”

  I slammed the book shut. “Stop now, you’re making my eyes cross.”