Privileged

by Stevens, Madison

  I glanced back at the tree. How right Austen was. Love is agony.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “You sure you’re going to be all right?” Grace said as we lugged clothes to my car. “I could always cut things short.”

  “Yeah, me too,” Heather said tossed a few bags in the back hatch. “Really, I wouldn’t mind blowing off the fam.”

  I crossed my arms and shot her a skeptical look.

  “Okay, maybe not but for sure by New Year’s.” Heather grinned and wiggled her eyebrows.

  Grace threw her arms around me. “Text me.”

  I pulled back and smiled. “I will.” I reached out to hug Heather.

  “All right, get out of here before we all start crying.” She pushed me toward the door.

  I laughed and hopped into the car.

  After waving one last time, I pulled away and headed off to the house.

  I turned the radio up, and let the stress from the week wash away. Things had been so busy with worrying over finals that I hadn’t had much time to even think about Gavin. Well I shouldn’t have had much time to, but it was hard for my thoughts not to stray.

  It just didn’t make sense. He admitted his feelings, I admitted mine. Was I missing something? I mean, short of riding off into the sunset, that should have been the happily ever after.

  More than once I thought about sending him a message, but my pride got in the way. If he wanted to see me, he knew where I lived.

  I ignored the bitterness that crept in and concentrated on the road. In the distance, dark gray clouds rolled closer. Little flurries were starting to fall from the sky, and I just hoped I’d make it to house before the real storm hit.

  Twenty minutes later I was pulling into the drive. The winds whipped around the car, rocking it slightly. The snow was really starting to fall now, and I was glad to be off the road before it got slick out.

  I hurried into the house after grabbing as much as I could carry. The inside was only slightly warmer than the outside, and I cursed the old heating system. Fighting the winds and snow, I made my way back to the garage. One more trip, and I should have everything in. I stopped outside the back door and stared at the tarp. I yanked the canvas back and stared at the newly piled wood. Someone was keeping up with the place, even if I hadn’t.

  Silently, I thanked my invisible handyman. You never know when the power would kick off, and it was going to be cold for some time up in the bedroom. I piled a few pieces high into my arms.

  After depositing the wood, I shoved the food into the fridge and started bringing things up to the room. It felt less weird than last time, and I hoped after the month long break, it would feel more like my home. I stopped at the top of the stairs when I noticed the door to Gran’s room was open.

  A shiver raced down my spine as I stared at the open door. I could clearly remember shutting the door before I left.

  "If anyone is there, I've got a gun, and I'm not afraid to use it."

  Silence met me. The only sound I could hear was the ghostly howl of the wind on the side of the house.

  I grabbed a piece of wood from the pile and flipped on the lights. Nothing moved. Taking a deep breath, I crept down the hall. When I stood outside the door, I quickly reached inside and hit the light.

  Nothing. Actually, everything seemed as it was the day I left. I walked in and checked behind the door and in the closet, but nothing was there.

  I thought maybe the door hadn't latched, and a draft blew it open. These places were known for being drafty and making lots of noise. Funny that as a child it never seemed to bother me, but now I was jumping at the slightest thing.

  I walked back into the hall, making sure the door was secured this time, and stopped at the stairs.

  Two loud bangs shattered the silence.

  The sound of the front door echoed through the house. I gripped the wood in my hand and made my way down to the door. Peeking out from the side window, I could just make out the shape of a person. The snow was falling full force, and it was swirling around whoever was at the door.

  “Who is it?” I called, unsure if my voice would even carry through the thick wood.

  “Em, it’s me,” a muffled voice came through.

  I turned the locked and swung open the door, sure I was hearing things.

  Gavin swooped in and slammed the door behind him.

  “Wasn’t sure I’d make it on those roads. A few are nothing but ice.” He pulled off his shoes and coat, shaking the snow from his hair.

  I stared dumbfounded. Had I missed something?

  Now rid of his wet articles, Gavin turned to me. We stared at one another not really knowing where to start. Or maybe not.

  “Is that log to beat me with?” He grinned at my surprise.

  “I haven’t decided yet,” I said and quirked an eyebrow at him.

  “Are you going to invite me in?” Now barefoot, his wet feet slapped against the cold marble. He smiled back at me in such a carefree way, I nearly missed the slight shiver.

  I sighed and turned to go up the stairs. When I didn’t hear him behind me I turned. He stood at the door looking so lost and uncertain.

  “I haven’t had a chance to turn on the heat, so we’ll have to make due with a fire in the room.” I nodded up the stairs.

  He picked up a package by the door and moved to the stairs. I was surprised I hadn’t noticed it before, but then I had been in a sort of shock.

  “What’s that?” I pointed to the package.

  Gavin grinned. “Your present.”

  When we reached the top of the stairs, I bent to grab my bag only to have it lifted from my hands. I shrugged and gathered the wood on the ground.

  We made our way to my room in silence. My heart pounded in my chest as I thought on what we were doing. Not that being in my room meant anything would happen, but it meant that it could and that was enough.

  I opened the door and walked over to the fireplace. Years of visiting had taught me how to start a fire, and I had never been more grateful. The temperature was dropping as night set in, and it didn’t seem to be letting up.

  Realization hit me as the first sparks leapt in the grate. Even if Gavin had planned to leave, there was no chance of that actually happening. I turned to find him bundled on the bed, shivering more than he had before.

  “How long were you out there?” I asked quietly as I made my way over.

  His teeth chattered loudly as he spoke. “It wouldn’t have been so bad if my damn car hadn’t gotten stuck at the end of your drive.”

  I threw a few large pillows on the floor and helped him up. His fingers were like ice in my hand and I winced. As he stood I noticed his pants were darker up to his knees.

  “Gavin.” He stopped to look at me. “Take off your pants.”

  His eyebrows nearly shot through the roof, and if he hadn’t been so cold I might have laughed at the red creeping up his neck.

  “You’re soaking wet,” I said.

  He dropped the blanket to the floor and fumbled to get untangled from it.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t even think about getting everything wet.”

  I put my hand on his to still his movements. “I don’t care about the blankets. You’ll never get warm with wet clothes on. Hand them over, and I’ll dry them for you.”

  He smiled sheepishly at me, and I noticed the circles under his eyes. Quietly and slowly, he stripped out of his pants and shirt. Luckily, the boxers and undershirt seemed dry enough.

  After forcing him down near the fire, I wrapped several heavy blankets around him. The color was already starting to come back to his fingers.

  “I’ll just stick these in the dryer while I get us something to eat,” I said.

  His hand reached out and grabbed my wrist as I turned away.

  “Em.” His voice was hoarse and wrought with emotion.

  I put my hand on his and pulled free.

  “First food,” I said quietly.

  His eyes bore into
me and finally he nodded.

  * * *

  I stood at the stove, stirring the creamy tomato soup lazily. The clothes would need a few more minutes to fully dry. The heat had kicked on and fought the cold to keep the house moderately warm. How Gran had dealt with the bitter winters at her age was more than a little surprising.

  The dryer buzzed loudly, and I cursed it. I was nervous. As silly as it might seem, the idea of being alone with Gavin made my heart race and set parts of me on fire that I wasn’t even sure worked.

  I took out two mugs and filled them with the soup. Two small cheese sandwiches sat nicely on the tray, where I added the soups and a couple cans of soda. I pulled out his clothes and draped them over my arm. They were still slightly damp but would finish drying in no time by the fire.

  I slowly made my way up the stairs and paused at the door. The cover had slipped slightly as Gavin snoozed on the floor. His head turned slightly to the side as his slumped down. It was such a peaceful expression that I hated to wake him.

  The door creaked as I made my way in and his eyes shot open. He smiled sleepily at me.

  I sat the tray on the bed and held up his clothes.

  “They are still a little damp. I’m just going to set them by the fire while we eat.”

  He watched silently as I set out his clothes and then brought over the tray.

  “I thought some soup might warm you up,” I said quietly and passed him a mug. His fingers brushed the back of my hand. I jumped at the contact.

  “Thanks,” he rumbled, voice still clogged with sleep.

  We ate in silence, and I tried not to stare. The light from the fire flickered across the room, casting a glow.

  I sat down my mug and leaned back to enjoy the warmth.

  “Do you want your gift?” He had reached over and brought the package to sit in front of us. “It’s actually from both Grace and me.”

  I picked it up and turned over the brown package. The tape on the back broke away easily and I unrolled the layers of paper. When the paper fell away, I came face to face with a painting of myself as a child and Gran. We smiled lovingly at one another.

  I gingerly touched the oil version of us. Tears welled in my eyes.

  “Grace did the painting, and I made the frame,” he said.

  When I looked up, I could see uncertainty lace his features.

  “Grace said you’d like something homemade more,” he rattled on. “Of course,” he reached forward, “if you’d like something else.” He trailed off when I moved the painting out of reach and set it beside me.

  Moving slowly, I sat up on my knees and crawled to the space between his legs. Gavin swallowed as I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his.

  “Thank you,” I whispered against his lips. A few tears slipped down my cheek.

  I took in a shuddered breath as his thumb came up to wipe away the tears.

  This time when I leaned forward, my eyes stayed locked with his. He groaned when our lips touched and moved to take control over this kiss. I moved back, not letting him gain the upper hand. His grunt of frustration made me giggle.

  “You find this funny?” He scowled at me. Only the twinkle in his eye gave him away.

  “I need to put this away.” I nodded to the painting. “And I think you really need some sleep.” I reached up and cupped his cheek, running my thumb along the dark circles.

  He grabbed my other hand and yanked me to him. I landed hard on chest.

  “Just stay with me,” he whispered in my ear. His hot breath tickled the hairs there.

  “But what about the…” His arm tightened around my middle, and we sank down to the floor.

  “Please,” he said and curled around me.

  I smiled at his plea and let myself relax around him.

  Chapter Eighteen

  I woke chilled and alone. The embers from the fire were slowly dying out, and I hadn’t brought more logs in. I groaned in frustration.

  Looking around the room, I was surprised not to find Gavin or his clothes. Pain lanced through me. Once again he’d left. I choked back a sob. I couldn’t keep doing this.

  The door swung open, and I jumped from the intrusion. Gavin strolled in, wet once again but carrying a large armload of wood. With ease, he sat the large pile into the metal holder beside the fireplace and tossed a few logs in. After a little poking, the fire was once again roaring.

  He turned and smiled at me. “Better?”

  I nodded mutely.

  “Good.” He stood and kicked at the boots on his feet until they slipped off. His socks were soggy and made squishing noises.

  “Why are you so wet?” I finally croaked out.

  Gavin pulled his socks off and set them over his boots.

  “Snowdrifts.” His teeth chattered as he talked.

  “Outside the door?”

  Gavin shook his head. “Thought I’d better go get my bag before it got any worse.”

  I peered around him and spied the bag on the ground. Something inside me fluttered at the idea of his bag. I looked back up to him as he froze in place, almost like he was waiting for me to say something.

  I blushed. I didn’t really know what to say. It wasn’t like I had tons of experience with this. Chet had been my one and only boyfriend and that hadn’t really ended well.

  He turned away as he took off his dripping pants. I knew I should have looked away, but I was mesmerized by the way he moved and found myself wanting to help. My fingers twitched, and I held tight to the cover around me.

  Slowly he turned and met my eye. A flame flickered between us, and I felt the air around get sucked out. Gavin lowered himself and sat next to me, his solemn face taking in everything. I sat up and moved, so I was kneeling between his thighs. The cold radiated off of him, and I gasped when his cool skin touched my hip.

  He watched me with open curiosity, a small smirk hidden in the depths of his face. Feeling both bold and frazzled, I leaned forward and grasped the bottom of his shirt. His eyes lit up with surprise, and I smiled. It was nice to have some control.

  I pulled his shirt over his head with ease. Quickly, I threw the cover around my shoulders and leaned into him, forcing him back on to the pillows. Gavin shivered, and I didn’t know if it was from the warmth of my body or just touching.

  His arms wrapped around me, and we lay there enjoying the feel.

  The shivers that wracked his body slowly subsided. I turned my face and planted open-mouthed kisses on the side of his neck.

  Gavin groaned and struggled to set up.

  “Em,” he groaned.

  I moved up his body slowly and placed my lips to his ear.

  “What, Gavin?” I licked the outer shell of his ear and gently nipped his earlobe.

  “Em, what are you doing?” he whispered to me.

  I laughed and licked the line of his collar bone.

  “I thought that was obvious.” I sat up and wrinkled my nose at him. “Maybe I’m doing this wrong.”

  I slipped a leg over his hips and settled myself over his growing erection.

  We moaned in unison as his hips bucked under me. Even through the layer of jeans I had on, it felt much better than I expected.

  His hands pressed firmly on my hips, keeping me still.

  "Em, are you sure you want to–"

  I cut him off by leaning forward and taking his mouth in a hungry kiss. When he didn't respond, I leaned back.

  "Gavin, please," I whispered. "I want you."

  He groaned beneath me and threaded his hands into my hair as he ravaged my mouth. His tongue slid into my mouth and mimicked what I wanted him to do to other parts of me.

  I pulled away and ripped off my shirt. His fingers skimmed up my ribs just under my breasts. I leaned forward, aching for his touch. When his hands slid around to my back, I groaned in frustration. They stopped at my clasp, and I gasped when it fell away.

  He pulled off my bra and stared at me. I brought my hands up, uncomfortable with his intense gaze. Gavin sat up
with me still on his lap and pulled my hands around his neck.

  “You are so beautiful,” he whispered.

  The hand at my back supported me as he leaned in. I dipped low as his mouth moved down my neck. When he reached the swell of my breast, my hips gripped his, grinding myself against the hard ridge.

  He took his time, never touching the spots that burned for him. As he made a second round, nipping the underside of my breast, I grasped his hair and moved his mouth to my hardened nipple.

  I could feel his chuckle vibrate against the aching peak. His hand finally slid up and molded itself around my other breast. When he pulled it in his mouth and flicked his tongue, I nearly lost myself.

  My lower half burned in ways I never knew could happen. Each flick of his tongue caused my hips to move, and before long I was wet and aching for more.

  He switched, his hot mouth leaving a trail to the other side. I moaned in frustration.

  I ran my hands down the plane of his ridged chest and stopped just at the line of his boxers.

  Gavin pulled back and watched me with fascination. The smug grin I knew so well was back, as if in a challenge. I arched away slightly and slid a finger past the line, not quite touching the head. When his eyes widened, I grinned back.

  There really wasn’t enough room to maneuver like this, but I liked the way he looked at me as I got closer and closer. Giving up on pulling his boxers down, my hand slid over the ridge out the outside. He hissed at the contact and jumped back.

  I pulled my hand back. “Did I do something wrong?”

  Gavin smiled and placed loving kisses on my mouth.

  “A little too right,” he said and smiled sheepishly.

  I leaned forward and hugged him. Our warm flesh meeting together was so intimate, tears pricked at my eyes.

  “Take me to bed,” I whispered.

  Gavin pulled back and sat me down. He stood and pulled me with him. In one swoop, he gathered me in his arms. I giggled at the very princess-like hold and even more when he dropped me on the bed. The full size felt great after lying on the floor for so long.

  He wasted no time with my pants, yanking them and my panties down. I heard them land across the room. The blazing fire silhouetted his perfect body. I watched as his breathing increased and wondered what he saw when he looked at me. As if on cue, he zeroed in on my thighs and the juncture there.