My Soul to Take

by Amy Sumida

  “Brevyn has the gift of sight?” Thor's eyes went wide. “Ull never had that.”

  “He is not Ull,” Arach took his son away from Thor and cradled him with Rian. The brothers gurgled happily, tapping their feet together in greeting.

  “I know that,” Thor sighed. “But I assumed Ull's magic would go into this new body with him.”

  “Magic doesn't follow you into the Void,” I shook my head. “Remember how I had to give Odin back his magic through his spear?”

  “Then how does Brevyn have magic at all?” Thor frowned. “Magic was given to us by human belief. Ull's soul was Atlantean; he wasn't born with magic, only the potential to learn. He wasn't even born immortal. That was all given to him.”

  I was about to explain that Brevyn got his magic from me, just like every other god baby born to a goddess, when Thor's last words hit me. I blinked in surprise and looked up to find Arach staring at me in horror.

  “He's not immortal?” Arach whispered.

  “Uh,” Thor cleared his throat. “Don't worry, I'll bring him an apple when he reaches an age of maturity.”

  “An apple?” Arach looked at him in shock. “How will an apple help?”

  “Of Immortality,” Thor explained. “Like the one we gave Kaitlin.”

  Vali was looking back and forth between Thor and Arach like he wasn't sure if he'd have to defend one brother from the father of another. Dexter had gone back to sleeping on my feet and Vidar just calmly waited.

  “It grants a hundred years,” I clarified to Arach and then looked over to Thor as my racing heart started to calm. “Thank you, Thor but I think I'll probably take him to Jesus and see if he'll let Brevyn drink from the GRAYEL, like I did.”

  “The grail?” Arach looked over to me.

  “G-R-A-Y-E-L; the GRAYEL. It's a machine that makes an elixir,” I shook my head at him. “Granter of Recuperation, Agility, and Youth Ever Lasting. It tends to last longer than an apple.”

  “I had no idea that gods had to use such tools,” Arach frowned.

  “Not all of them have to,” Thor shrugged. “Just those without enough worship to sustain them.”

  “Why manipulate humans into war then?” I asked Thor as the thought struck me. “If you have access to things like the apples and peaches and the GRAYEL, why do those other gods need to make humans fight?”

  “Several reasons. Sometimes such things are supplemental, giving a god immortality so he has power freed up for his magic, and sometimes they're simply non-existent. Not all pantheons have apples or elixirs,” Thor reminded me. “Or they don't have access anymore. Remember Zeus with the Greeks?”

  “How could I forget?” I rolled my eyes.

  “And then there are situations like yours,” Thor nodded towards Brevyn. “Where a child is born without worshipers.”

  “Oh,” I blinked. “Well of course.”

  “So now you understand,” Thor nodded. “Some gods don't need the immortality aids at all. Luke doesn't use anything and although he gets blamed for a lot of wars, he doesn't manipulate humans into battle.”

  “It's precisely because he gets blamed for everything that he has enough energy to live forever without having to supplement his existence,” I chuckled.

  “The Devil made me do it,” Vali shook his head. “Damn he's got a good thing going.”

  “Except damning is exactly what he has to do and then he has to live among the damned,” I pointed out, “in Hell.”

  “I could get used to it,” Vali grinned at me. “For that kind of power, I'd damn people, no problem. It's not like good people go to Hell.”

  “But our son will live?” Arach pressed. “He will be immortal?”

  “Yes,” I reached over the cribs between us and took Brevyn from him. “You will live forever,” I said to the suddenly serious baby. “I promise you, Brev. I will get you your immortality. Nobody's taking my son from me. Not even Death... who happens to be your uncle anyway.”

  My dragon roared inside me and I gasped, clutching Brevyn to my chest as the beast raged against my rib cage. She didn't like even the hint that something could happen to our young, even if it was the non-dragon young apparently, and she was making her displeasure known. Normally, her little temper tantrums could be rode out fairly easily but with my star in pieces, it had become a different matter.

  “Vervain?” Arach flung the cribs back, out of his way, and knelt beside my throne.

  Dexter was suddenly at my side and he gave a long howl, which seemed to set the entire room to shouting. Children began to cry, questions were called out, and the clatter of movement added to the cacophony.

  My vision shifted and I swayed. Arach's arms came around us all, holding Brevyn and Rian between our chests as Dexter tried to press his nose into my cheek. I could hear the boys crying and I shook with anger, directing that energy towards my dragon. How dare she scare our children?

  Unfortunately, this only served to awaken my wolf and lioness, who both took offense to the dragon's behavior. I jerked in Arach's arms as claws struck inside me and my three beasts rolled together in a psychic battle which nonetheless felt very real. I felt a trickle of blood escape my lips, dripping down my chin. So maybe it was more physical than I'd thought.

  “Vervain!” Arach's voice boomed in my ears.

  “Mother!” Vidar shouted, something he rarely does.

  “Mom?” Vali's voice dropped into terror territory. “What's wrong with her?”

  And Dexter started howling again.

  “Godhunter!” Another voice boomed even louder than the rest, this one filled with thunder. “Remember when you first claimed your lioness. Remember how you brought yourself back. Tame the beast with your humanity!”

  My humanity? How much of that did I even have anymore? I had once hated the thought of killing animals but now, through my lioness, I knew that it was a natural thing. A cycle of life and death. I once believed that no one had the right to rule another but now, through my wolf, I saw the strength of a pack. I once despised torture but now, through my dragon, I knew that it was sometimes necessary. I had even come dangerously close to tasting human flesh. So where was my humanity?

  I screamed as all of my beasts tore into me and into each other. My children screamed with me and it was the most terrible sound I'd ever heard; the agony of infants who sensed the pain of their mother. Even in my agony, they were paramount. I tried to hold back my screams so I wouldn't frighten them further.

  Then a tiny hand touched my face.

  Sound was abruptly muffled, like I'd been dropped into a lake. It all faded away to silence. Then I saw the flash of another beast; one with gold spots and creamy white fur. Somber eyes of soft brown regarded me. It was my nahual and she was in her original form, the way she'd looked before she joined my beasts together. But she was gone, left in Alfheim with the piece of my mother's fey essence which had lingered inside the magical jaguar.

  The nahual roared and the sound shattered her own image. As the pieces of her scattered through my mind, I saw the altar again and felt the pain of sacrificing the last piece I had of my faerie mother. Why was Brevyn showing me this? What did that altar have to do with my beasts? But then I realized that just the single image of my jaguar had been startling enough to settle the animals inside me. They remembered her, remembered what she had done for us and the reason she had done it. We were one being and they needed to start acting like it again.

  I inhaled sharply and found myself staring straight into Brevyn's eyes. They were so blue. They reminded me of Vidar when he was a baby. Vidar's eyes darkened as he got older but as an infant, they had looked just like Brevyn's... and they had stared at me in much the same way. Then Brevyn blinked and the intensity left his face. He was just a baby once more. He gurgled happily and waved a baby fist in the air.

  Suddenly sound returned and I realized that Arach was still shouting and Dexter still howling. I looked up at my husband and he went quiet, his whole body shuddering as he laid his forehead
to mine. Dexter whimpered and I heard a murmur of relief spread through the hall. Vali and Vidar laid relieved hands on my shoulders.

  “Damn all the gods, Vervain,” Arach growled as he pulled away to look me over. He wiped the blood from my face and absently licked his fingers. “What was that?”

  Oddly enough, the twins were perfectly calm now. Brevyn had actually fallen asleep. I looked down to them and Arach took a deep breath, calmed himself, and took Rian over to one of the overturned cribs. He righted the crib and Thor helped him replace the bedding so Arach could lay Rian down. Kaitlin had already set Brevyn's cradle up by the time Arach came back for him.

  “I'll watch them,” Kaitlin said to Arach as he laid Brevyn into the cradle. “Go and see to Vervain.”

  He nodded crisply and returned to me, crouching by my throne as the entire room focused their concern on us. My grown sons hadn't moved, they continued to grip my shoulders, one on each side of me, and stare down at me gravely. I gave them each a reassuring pat, and one to Dexter, before I looked out towards my faeries.

  “I'm fine everyone,” I tried for a laugh but it came out more like a hiccup. “Just a small issue with my inner animals. I'm okay now, I assure you.”

  The fire fey just stared at me balefully.

  “Lighten up!” I called to them. “I'm your queen and we fire fey are bad asses, right? I can take a little internal scrapping.”

  The fey cheered and the heavy feeling lifted. They went back to celebrating. But Arach continued to stare at me and my sons continued to stand at my back.

  “It's because of your star?” Arach asked.

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  “We need to fix that.”

  “Already noted.”

  “Did my suggestion help at all?” Thor came up behind Arach.

  “Not really,” I gave him an apologetic look. “But thank you for trying. It was a good suggestion.”

  “Then what stopped them?” Arach asked.

  “Brevyn,” I sent our son an amazed look. “He showed me another vision, though I don't know what it means.”

  “Of the future?” Vali asked.

  “No,” I frowned. “This one was of the past. He showed me my nahual.”

  “The jaguar that held a piece of Aednat's essence?” Arach blinked in shock.

  “Yes,” I nodded, “and he showed me the altar in Alfheim, where I released her.”

  “How did that calm your animals?” Thor crouched down beside Arach.

  “They used to be united under my nahual,” I shrugged. “They saw the vision too and it calmed them.”

  “How did he know that would work?” Arach mused.

  “I don't think he did,” I considered it all. “I think it was just his magic working, drawing out what I needed to see, just like the last time.”

  “Perhaps,” Thor agreed and stood. He looked over at Brevyn thoughtfully. “I think we should speak to Odin about this.”

  “I agree,” Vidar said simply.

  “Not just Odin,” I sighed. “I think all of my men need to know what's going on.”

  “Not about you, Vervain,” Thor corrected. “Though I do think your husbands should be told of your issue as well. I think Odin needs to be consulted about Brevyn's magic... and perhaps Trevor could help too.”

  “Why is that?” Arach sent Thor a haughty look.

  “Odin is very familiar with the occult, all aspects of it, from human to god and even a little faerie,” Thor explained.

  “And Trevor is Froekn, they tend to be psychic,” Vali added.

  I gaped up at Vali. How had I forgotten that about Trevor? We once had a huge fight because he was having dreams of a man who kept telling Trevor that I had been his (the man's) first. Trevor had thought it was Thor, the shadowy figure in his dreams had reminded him of my ex-boyfriend. But it had actually been Odin. Odin did indeed have me first, in another life, when I was Sabine. So Trevor's dream had been pretty spot on. But did he know anything about waking visions?

  “There's always Rain,” Vidar offered a much better source of psychic information.

  “Rain,” Thor nodded. “Yes, of course.”

  “Rain?” Arach was getting seriously annoyed.

  “Rain is the singer from Dark Horses, remember?” I asked Arach. “They performed for us that New Years when the time aligned between the realms.”

  “The horse shifter?”

  “That's him,” I nodded. “He's psychic, very psychic.”

  “Irritatingly so,” Vali agreed.

  “Fine, ask the Rain,” Arach huffed. “But I intend on seeking counsel here in Faerie.”

  “What does that mean?” I asked warily.

  “The gods aren't the only ones with psychics,” Arach said smugly.

  “No,” I whispered.

  “Yes.”

  “I'm not going,” I crossed my arms.

  “She'll have to see you in order to read you,” Arach reasoned.

  “Nope, don't care,” I said stubbornly.

  “What are you two talking about?” Thor glowered at us.

  “It's not so enjoyable, is it?” Arach smirked at my ex. “Being out of the noose.”

  Thor's jaw dropped in horror and confusion.

  “Loop, dear,” I said to Arach. “Out of the loop.”

  “Oh,” Arach considered it. “Yes, I suppose it wouldn't be fun at all to be the one within the noose.”

  “No. Neither would it be fun to be the one speaking to a bean-nighe,” I grimaced.

  “A bean-nighe?” Thor's face cleared. “The washer women?”

  “They are also very psychic,” Arach nodded smugly. “One has helped us before.”

  “No, she didn't,” I scowled. “She gave us a warning that we didn't need.”

  “She was trying to help,” Arach said generously.

  “We already knew the water element was unbalanced,” I huffed. “Even Faerie didn't think she helped all that much.”

  Don't bring me into this.

  “Oh there you are,” I grumbled. “Where were you when my inner menagerie was pulling a mutiny? Mutinying... mutinous... they were kicking my patootie.”

  I couldn't help you, she actually sounded upset. But the bean-nighe might. You should go and see her.

  “Wait a minute,” I sat up straight. “You can see into the future! Why do I have to go see a slimy bean-nighe when you could just tell me?”

  The fire fey snickered.

  “I'm sorry,” I held up my hands to the fey. “Do not repeat what I just said about the water fey.” More snickers. “I mean it!” They shut up. “Now, again I ask; why, Faerie?”

  Silence.

  “OMG, you don't know, do you?” I gasped.

  Nothing.

  “Faerie!”

  No! Okay? She shouted petulantly. Ever since you broke your stupid star and your children broke their souls apart, your future has been murky. Neither I nor Alaric can see much. We get hazy images every now and then, that's it.

  “I thought it was just Brevyn and Rian's future that had gone AWOL,” I whispered.

  Nope.

  “Damn,” I kept whispering.

  Yes, damn. So maybe go and see if the bean-nighe can tell you something. Go and see that sexy horse-shifter too, while you're at it. Go and see every psychic you can find because your path has been washed away, Vervain. Your footsteps are gone, your breadcrumbs eaten by evil little birdies, your-

  “Yes, I get it, thank you,” I huffed. “And my path is hardly gone, the Fates just took a look at it. I have three paths now, thank you very much. Maybe that's why you're having trouble.”

  What?! And you didn't think this was something worth mentioning?

  “I just did,” I smirked.

  Before, something mentioning before. Like when I was freaking the bleep out.

  “Bleep?” I laughed.

  There are children to consider, she huffed. I heard the Hunter episode.

  “But they can't hear you,” I whispered dramatical
ly.

  Yes they can, she dramatically whispered back.

  “Oh,” I shut up.

  Parenting lesson number one, Godhunter, I could hear the smirk in her voice. Children are always listening, especially when you think they're not.

  “Sounds like someone else I know,” I muttered.

  I heard that!

  “And you've just made my spike,” I chuckled. “I mean point, you've just made my point.”

  Arach rolled his eyes.

  Vervain Lavine! What did the Fates say?

  “Oh, nothing really,” I sighed. “They said my threads were frayed or something. I don't really remember.”

  You don't remember?

  “Well a lot has happened since then,” I huffed. “Mainly, they wanted to help me. They strengthened me, gave me more wisdom, and cut away some obstacles.”

  When does the wisdom kick in?

  “Shush!” I snapped at her.

  And that's it?

  “I'm sure they would have told me something if they could have,” I shrugged.

  Well, at least we learned one thing.

  “What's that?” Arach asked.

  Psychics can see what I cannot.

  “I bet that really burns your butt,” I giggled.

  I do not have a butt.

  “Uh-huh.”

  But if I did, it might be smarting a bit.

  “I'm still not going to see the bean-nighe,” I stated firmly.

  “Vervain!” Arach growled as Faerie simultaneously groaned in my head.

  Chapter Ten

  So we went to see the bean-nighe.

  I grumbled the whole way there, like a child. I wasn't a big fan of psychics to begin with. Their predictions usually got me into trouble and I've been known to cut off prophecies mid-proph. But Arach was insisting and Arach had the persistence of a dragon and a king. Which is to say that he was absolutely unbearable until he got what he wanted.