No Turning Back

by Susan Lewis

  Touched by how much the admission had probably cost her, Livvy replied, ‘I’m glad, because I think it’ll suit you, but I must admit, you surprise me when you’ve never shown any interest in working here before.’

  ‘That’s because no one’s ever asked me before. It’s like you’re all really close and you don’t want outsiders barging in …’

  ‘You’re not an outsider,’ Livvy told her. ‘And I’m sorry if that’s the way we’ve made you feel. It’s just that you always go off with your friends when you’re here …’

  ‘Because I think you don’t want me around.’

  ‘Well, you know now that we do.’

  It was too difficult for Jasmine to smile.

  ‘I guess it’s not been all that easy for you, with your mum feeling the way she does about Eva,’ Livvy ventured.

  For a moment Jasmine looked as though she might respond to that, but whatever she’d been about to say she ended up keeping to herself. ‘I suppose I ought to go and see if Zoe’s finished on the phone,’ she said, looking towards the stairs.

  Letting her go, Livvy returned to the counter and was about to enter the latest transaction in their handwritten sales book when Jasmine said over the banister, ‘Thanks for giving me a second chance already.’

  Astonished, Livvy looked up, but Jasmine had already disappeared around the bend in the stairs.

  ‘It’s like really weird watching her be nice,’ Livvy was telling her mother that evening. ‘I mean, it’s cool, but I’ve never seen her like it before.’

  ‘Well, I don’t imagine you want her to be rude,’ Patty retorted, going to take a tray of hot oil from the oven.

  ‘No, of course not. I’m just saying, that’s all. Anyway, what’s got under your skin? You’re all snappy and like everything’s getting on your nerves today, so if you’d rather I left …’

  ‘I’m fine,’ Patty told her irritably. ‘What time’s Dave joining us?’

  ‘He should be here any minute, but I can always tell him not to bother.’

  ‘Livvy, you’re not being helpful.’

  ‘Oh, how sorry am I? Well, is it just the three of us?’

  ‘Why? Do you want to invite someone else?’

  ‘No-o, I was just wondering how many places to set, if that’s all right, and I thought Don and Eva might be coming round.’

  ‘They were here last night. Ow! Christ, that’s hot.’

  ‘Mum, for God’s sake,’ Livvy cried, grabbing Patty’s wrist and dragging her to the sink.

  ‘I’m all right,’ Patty insisted, trying to snatch her hand away.

  ‘No you’re not. Look at you. Mum, put your hand under the tap.’

  Doing as she was told, Patty allowed Livvy to cool the burn, keeping her head averted and almost relishing the pain as tears smarted in her eyes.

  ‘OK,’ Livvy said, pushing a towel at her mother, ‘now what the hell is it with you?’

  Patty started to answer, but lost it to a sob.

  ‘Oh Mum,’ Livvy wailed, tears rushing to her own eyes. ‘You have to tell me …’

  ‘Just leave it, please,’ Patty implored, trying to turn away.

  ‘I can’t,’ Livvy cried, pulling her back, ‘and you wouldn’t either if you were me. So come on, we don’t normally have secrets from each other …’

  ‘Oh Livvy,’ Patty choked. ‘This isn’t something … You’re so close to Eva, and I …’

  ‘Mum, please. If it’s about Eva you know you can tell me. Have you fallen out again, is that what’s happened?’

  ‘Ssh,’ Patty said shakily. ‘That sounds like Dave’s motorbike outside and I don’t want him to see me like this.’

  Livvy was staring hard into her eyes. ‘OK, but we’re going to talk about this, because there’s no way in the world you’re carrying on the way you are without letting me do at least something to help.’

  Wrapping her tightly in her arms, Patty said, ‘I love you so much, my darling, I really do, but there’s nothing anyone can do now. Nothing at all.’

  Chapter Eight

  ‘Hi, Elaine, it’s me, Eva.’

  ‘Hello dear,’ her stepmother replied heartily. ‘This is a nice surprise. How are you?’

  ‘I’m fine,’ Eva assured her. ‘Are you back now?’

  ‘No. As a matter of fact I was going to call later to let you know that I’ve decided to stay on in Cornwall for an extra week.’

  Careful not to let her disappointment sound, Eva said, ‘Then you must be having a good time.’

  ‘It certainly is very uplifting here,’ Elaine confirmed. ‘Is everything all right with you? Patty told me about the letter of apology you received from the magazine. Most surprising, but certainly deserved. Have you managed to find out yet who wrote to tick them off?’

  ‘No, because I haven’t actually tried, but it’s partly what I want to talk to you about. Don’t worry, though, it can wait till you’re home.’

  Elaine fell quiet, and Eva could easily picture her soft brown eyes and endearingly wispy hair as she tried to weigh up what to do for the best. ‘You know, I can always come back earlier if you need …’

  ‘No, no, please don’t do that,’ Eva broke in hastily. ‘Honestly, it really can wait.’

  ‘You’d like me to find out for you, is that it?’

  ‘No, because they’ll know you’re related to me. I’ve got a slightly more radical idea than that … Actually, it’s probably completely off the wall, which is mainly why I wanted to run it past you first.’

  Sounding cautious, Elaine said, ‘What does Patty think of it?’

  Wishing Patty’s opinion didn’t always count for everything, Eva said, ‘I haven’t told her because I know she’ll think I’ve lost it.’

  ‘I see.’ Elaine’s tone was wary. ‘Can’t you tell me on the phone what it is?’

  Eva grimaced. ‘If you don’t mind, I’ll probably find it easier if we’re together, so why don’t we forget it for now? Tell me about the conference. Did it go well?’

  Reluctantly allowing the subject to change, Elaine said, ‘It was marvellous, thank you. And I’ve made some lovely new friends, a couple from Newcastle in particular who’ve already booked into the retreat for a week in November. I’m afraid to say he has a tumour in a very delicate place, so I’ve been working with him on some inner healing and relaxation techniques. He’s such a dear soul. I’ve already become quite fond of him.’

  Unable to imagine Elaine being anything but fond of anyone, Eva smiled as she said, ‘I’m glad for him that he’s found you, I’m sure it’s helping him immensely.’

  ‘Well, I don’t know about that, but I’m certainly doing my best.’

  Being in no doubt of it, Eva said, ‘I guess I should probably let you go. I send you lots of love.’

  There was an ocean of affection in Elaine’s voice as she said, ‘God bless you, my angel. I shall look forward to seeing you as soon as I’m back.’

  After replacing the receiver Eva continued to stand at her study window, staring out at the garden, where Jasmine was throwing bread to the ducks and Don was digging up a selection of vegetables for lunch while trying to fight off Elvis’s enthusiastic assistance. Finding herself moved by the way Jasmine laughed at something her father said, she felt a pang of guilt for not having reached out to the girl sooner, since it was clearly, at least if the past twenty-four hours was anything to go by, all that had been needed.

  Determined to carry on making an effort with her stepdaughter, she returned to her computer and the email that had prompted her call to Elaine. It was from the private investigator she’d contacted just over a week ago, saying he could see her next Friday at eleven. She knew very well if she told Patty – or Don – that she was planning to employ someone unconnected to the family to find out who’d complained about the article, they’d both see through such a pretext straight away. Elaine probably would too, but at least Elaine would be less judgemental and might even, because she was so soft-hearted, agree that using a pri
vate detective to make sure her, Eva’s, son was in a loving family was a good idea. It was just a pity she wouldn’t be able to talk to Elaine before next Friday. However, since she could see no harm in going to talk things through with the investigator anyway, she sent a quick message back to confirm that the date and time worked for her.

  A few minutes later, she was upstairs in the bedroom going through the secret cache of three photos that she rarely looked at these days, when a knock on the door almost made her drop them.

  ‘Eva? Are you in there?’ Jasmine called out.

  ‘Yes, yes, right with you,’ Eva replied, quickly closing the precious album and tucking it into a drawer.

  ‘I’ve brought you some coffee,’ Jasmine told her. ‘Shall I leave it on the table out here?’

  ‘No, come in,’ Eva insisted, unclipping her hair so it would fall across the unmade-up, damaged side of her face. ‘I’m decent.’

  As the door opened, Eva was trying to remember if Jasmine had ever been into this room before, and felt sure she hadn’t. Nor, come to think of it, had Jasmine ever made her a coffee before.

  ‘White, no sugar,’ Jasmine announced, looking around for somewhere to put the mug. ‘God, it’s awesome in here,’ she gasped in amazement. ‘The colours are quality and it’s so huge.’

  With a smile of what felt like genuine fondness, Eva said, ‘I’m glad you like it. Here, I’ll take the mug. Are you having one too?’

  Jasmine coloured slightly as she glanced back towards the door. ‘Mine’s downstairs.’

  Eva only hesitated for a moment. ‘Why don’t you bring it up? We could sit and have a chat about how things went yesterday at the shop.’

  Jasmine shrugged. ‘I have to get going, actually. I promised Mum I’d be back by one today.’

  Accepting that the invitation might have been too much too soon, Eva said, ‘OK, but just tell me, do you think you’ll like the job?’

  Jasmine’s response was immediate. ‘Oh yeah, definitely,’ she stated, her eyes burning with feeling. ‘It was really cool and I think … Well, I hope Livvy said I was OK.’

  ‘Actually, she said you were fantastic.’

  The way Jasmine beamed through her spots reached straight into Eva’s heart.

  ‘So can we take it you’re hired?’ Eva asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

  ‘Absolutely deffo, I mean, if you’re sure.’

  ‘I am, so’s Livvy, so let’s raise our mugs to Perdita’s new Saturday girl – well, mug anyway. If you could stay longer we’d have a glass of champagne before lunch. Incidentally, has Dad mentioned anything to you about the job?’

  ‘No, not really. He just asked how it went yesterday and if I’m sure it’s what I want to do. You know what he’s like, if it makes me happy he’ll generally go for it. Excuse me, I’d better see who this is,’ and taking out her mobile she checked the screen and coloured again. ‘It’s Mum,’ she grimaced. ‘I’ll ring her back. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks. I really appreciate it. Oh, and I thought I’d come on Friday night next week, if that’s all right, so I’ll be here in time to help Livvy open in the morning.’

  Impressed and moved by her enthusiasm, Eva said, ‘That’s absolutely fine with me. I don’t think Dad and I have anything planned for the evening, so maybe the three of us can go out for dinner.’

  Jasmine’s answering shrug didn’t give much away, and as she turned to the door Eva was left feeling unsure whether they had a date for next Friday or not. It didn’t matter, she could always get Don to check later in the week.

  ‘Oh, just one thing,’ Jasmine said, turning back. ‘I kept meaning to ask Livvy yesterday. I was wondering why you called the shop Perdita’s. Doesn’t it mean little lost one, or something like that?’

  Managing to keep her smile, Eva said, ‘Yes, it does. I guess I just thought it was a pretty name.’

  Jasmine nodded. ‘Cool,’ she muttered, and glancing at the house phone as it started to ring, she gave yet another shrug and left.

  Scooping up the receiver, Eva wandered over to the window as she said, ‘Hello? The Montgomery household.’

  ‘Hey, it’s me,’ Livvy replied. ‘Not interrupting anything, I hope.’

  ‘Not at all. In fact your ears must have been burning, because it seems you made quite an impression on our new Saturday girl.’

  ‘Well, if I did the feeling’s mutual,’ Livvy responded. ‘Like I told you last night, she was dead keen to learn, and great with just about everyone who came in. Actually, there was a bit of a blip at one point, but I’m confident it won’t happen again.’

  ‘Tell me.’

  ‘Honestly, it’s not worth going into. So I take it she’s now officially on board?’

  ‘She is, starting next Saturday. I have to confess I’m pretty blown away by how much she’s changed towards me in the last day. She even brought me a cup of coffee just now.’

  ‘Mm. I don’t mean to be negative or anything, but does this sudden transformation make you uneasy?’

  Eva frowned. ‘I’m not sure. Not while I’m talking to her, she always seems genuine enough then, but after, like now, I guess yes, it does make me wonder if it’s too good to be true.’

  ‘And you know what they say – if it seems too good to be true then it probably is. However, I’m definitely still up for giving her a chance.’

  ‘Me too. So, is that why you called?’

  ‘No, actually. I’m ringing to find out what you’re doing this afternoon.’

  ‘We don’t have any particular plans. Why?’

  ‘I’d kind of like to have a chat about something, so I thought if the weather keeps up we could take the odd couple for a walk on the beach.’

  Liking the idea, and almost laughing at the way Don was trying to haul Elvis off the footbridge, Eva said, ‘You’re on. Why don’t you come over around four?’

  As usual, Elvis was attracting more than his fair share of attention as he strutted his stuff along the shale-strewn shoreline, where intrepid fossil hunters and a few hardy picnickers appeared delighted by his perky parade. In order to keep him from bestowing his presence on his unwary fans, Eva had him firmly attached to a lead, while Livvy repeatedly hurled a soggy tennis ball for the indefatigable Rosie to retrieve from the waves. For the beginning of October it was a surprisingly warm day, in spite of the purplish-grey clouds looming like scoundrels on a far horizon and a lively breeze blowing in from the sea. To prevent her hair from flying about Eva had pulled a black woollen hat down over her ears, and wrapped herself in a vivid red fleece with black leggings and black Nike trainers, while Livvy was all kitted out in a sublime mix of purple flouncy lace and bouclé wool, with a wide studded belt drooped round her hips and pink Doc Martens weighing down her feet.

  ‘So I left Dave prepping for his interview,’ Livvy was saying as she hurled the ball for the umpteenth time. ‘He’s getting really uptight about it already …’

  ‘Eva! Eva, is that you?’ someone called out.

  Trying to hold Elvis back as she squinted into the sun, Eva’s heart sank as she recognised the heavy bulk of everyone’s least favourite town councillor lumbering towards her. ‘Howard, how are you?’ she said through an empty smile.

  ‘Aha, it is you!’ he declared jovially. ‘You might try to disguise yourself under that hat and behind those dark glasses, but I’d recognise those legs anywhere.’

  Not particularly enjoying the compliment, Eva said, ‘Making the most of the fine weather, I see.’

  ‘Couldn’t stay indoors on a day like this, could I?’ he chortled, rubbing his hands together. ‘It’d be a crime even to think it. I see you’ve got the farmyard with you.’

  His weirdly staccato laugh prickled the hairs on the back of Eva’s neck.

  ‘No Don?’ he pressed on chattily. ‘Don’t tell me, he’s on the golf course.’

  ‘Not today,’ she replied, seeing no reason to add that her husband was at home relaxing after an insanely busy week.

  The councillor�
��s beady eyes darted to Livvy and back again. ‘Well, I guess he’ll have plenty of time to spend there now he’s sold out to Dobbs,’ he commented heartily.

  Stifling an irritated sigh, Eva said, ‘Actually, it’s the other way round. Dobbs are selling out to him and nothing’s been signed yet.’

  Pass drew back his head in protest. ‘I think you’ll find …’

  ‘Howie, do you always have to charge on ahead?’ his pudding of a wife gasped as she staggered through the sand to join him. ‘He’s always in such a hurry,’ she complained to Eva and Livvy. Then breaking into a smile, ‘How are you, my dears? Jolly nice to see you out taking the sun. And you too, you little rascals,’ she added, glancing fondly at Rosie and Elvis, who were both impatient to move on.

  ‘Nice to see you too,’ Eva replied, wishing she could remember the woman’s name. ‘Anyway, you mustn’t let us interrupt your walk …’

  ‘Oh, no worries there,’ Mrs Pass assured her. ‘How’s your mother?’ she asked Livvy.

  ‘She’s good, thanks,’ Livvy replied, hurling Rosie’s ball back to the surf.

  ‘I was just congratulating Eva on Don’s deal with Dobbs,’ Pass informed his wife.

  ‘As I said,’ Eva came in before Mrs Pass could respond, ‘you haven’t got the detail quite right, and nothing’s been signed yet.’

  ‘Then I shall be checking my sources,’ Pass snorted, famously intolerant of being wrong about anything, ‘because I’m positive …’

  ‘Elvis!’ Eva cried, as he began barrelling off along the sand, dragging his lead behind him. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she said to the Passes, ‘he pulled it straight out of my hand. I’d better catch him. Lovely to see you,’ and allowing no opportunity for protest she took off after the pig’s determined little trot towards a bell-shaped niche in the cliffs. Since it was where they frequently paused to shelter from the wind while he noshed on an apple or a Mars bar and Rosie got stuck into her doggie choc drops, she had no doubt it was where he’d stop.

  ‘Please don’t let them come after us,’ Eva muttered as she dived into the shallow cave and swung her backpack to the floor to unroll a blanket.