by M Dauphin
I watch as Braydon and Gabe do that awkward man-hug, back-slapping thing and laugh. Even as close as they are, they still have their awkward moments. Bray walks over to me and smiles.
“You ready? I need to get some fresh air.”
“You ride here?” Standing, he takes my hand as we walk towards the door and just one touch from him has me thinking everything I shouldn’t be thinking right now.
“Yeah.” He sighs. “I went to the cemetery. I just… I needed to clear my head, and needed someone to listen without having a reply.” He shakes his head and opens the door for me.
“Well, I guess that’s a good place to go, then. I hope he didn’t talk back to you.” My smartass comment gets a laugh out of him and, when he flashes me that notorious smile, I go weak in the knees. He’s just grungy gorgeous; just enough edge to be completely and mind boggling sexy. Total opposite of what I ever thought I wanted but now that I have him I don’t know why I ever thought that.
“No, smartass. He didn’t talk back. Someone has been there, though. There’s fresh flowers on his gravesite.” He eyes me, one eyebrow raised, and I smile and shrug.
“It looked sad last time I went up there. I had to leave him something.” I shrug and grin, but he just shakes his head at me. “What?” Leaning against my car, I let my purse dangle from my hand as I watch him watch me.
“I’m happy you still go out there, Al.”
“Me too. I’m never going to stop going out there, Bray.” I pause and take a breath to calm my nerves. We haven’t really talked much about him lately, but Lane is a huge part of our lives. “Braydon, I’m not sure what you’re thinking, but, just so you know… I’m never going to stop loving him in some way. He was my first love… He was my best friend… I can’t just forget about him.”
“I don’t want you to.” He rests his forehead on mine, and takes a deep breath. “I just don’t want to be the replacement because I’m… here. You know?”
“You’re not the rebound, if that’s what you’re saying. Will I always have a place in my heart for Lane? Yes. Am I able to love another man fully, though, without any regrets? Absolutely.”
“No regrets.” His eyes meet mine, and I see the relief in them and, suddenly, I’m not sure why we haven’t had this conversation already.
“No regrets, Bray. Ever. And, when this baby is born, I’m going to be right there beside you, because we’re a team, right?”
He smiles and kisses me as a response. His hands twist in my hair, and his body pushes against mine as we make out like teenagers against my car.
“Get a fucking room, you two!” Gabe’s voice breaks us apart, and I start laughing as Braydon growls.
“Jealous, Gabe?” I yell over to him, laughing.
“Only of him, babe,” he yells back, winking, and I have to hold Braydon’s arm to stop him from storming over to him and punching him out.
“Hey,” I whisper, my fingers gently pushing Braydon’s face so his eyes are aligned with mine again. “What do you say about getting out of here and heading home? I have a few ideas of some ways you can show me just how much you appreciate my awesome self tonight.” I wink at him and he groans, shaking his head and chuckling.
“I think our minds are on the same page, Ms. Grant.”
Pushing his lips to mine, I wait until he pulls out of the parking lot to follow him home.
I thought, at the beginning of this, that being in a relationship with him would be strange, but we fit so perfectly together and completely get each other that I’m not sure why I thought what I did. I guess I had longed for Lane for so long that I didn’t really give any second thought to Braydon, other than how sexy he is.
I’ve always appreciated that. And, now, after all the drama and heartbreak we’ve been through, we’ve both made it. We’ve made it through the loss, and we’re still standing.
By the time I park my car, he’s leaning on his bike in the parking lot grinning at me. Of course he beat me, he drives this thing like a maniac. Slowly and carefully stepping out of my car, so I don’t look too clumsy, I’m proud of myself that I’m starting to get used to using this leg.
Then, I look up at him and see the lust in his eyes. He’s like a tiger, and I’m his next course.
Pure and complete need.
I’m not sure he’ll ever understand how he makes me feel, but tonight isn’t about that. Tonight is about us. For us. The rest of the world fades away when we’re together, and that’s just what we need.
***
The next day, I wake with the sun and start the first day of my new routine. I used to wake early, workout, get a good breakfast in and check the news or emails all before the workday started and I plan on getting back to that. With a little adjusting, I’m able to work on some yoga poses I used to be able to complete without any difficulties. It’s tiring, but its just enough of a workout to break a sweat, which should be depressing since this used to be a mild warm up for me, but, ever since the accident, I’ve lost stamina and have been slowly building it back up.
At about ten am, as I’m getting ready to head upstairs and surprise wake-up Braydon, my phone rings. The screen shows a local caller, and I feel the butterflies start to flutter.
What if this is it? I could be getting the call right now that’s going to start the course of my new life. I mean, it should be. They were more than willing to tell me how pleased with me they were, and Alden said it was more of a formality than anything, so I should be golden, right? With shaking fingers, I sit at a stool at the kitchen island and answer the call.
“Hello,” I answer as professionally as I can, but I feel the nerves coming out in my voice.
“Ms. Grant, this is Edna from Lancaster. I’m calling regarding your recent interview for a role as managing assistant.” Edna? Who the hell is Edna? I try to recall the faces and names from the meeting, but there’s no one I can remember with this voice or this name.
Strange.
“Are you there Ms. Grant?”
“Oh, yes. Sorry, I’m here. How can I help you?” I smile into the receiver, trying to calm myself and telling myself that when they tell me I have the job not to try and jump for joy. I’m not that used to this leg, yet.
“Ms. Grant, I’m calling just to inform you that the position has been filled, and we will no longer be needing your services. I’ve been asked to inform you that your information will stay in the system for six months should another position arise. Thank you for your time.”
I’m stunned.
I didn’t get it?
The phone clicks before I can respond, and I’m left to a silent room, alone with my emotions. My raging, fucking emotions that have me seething. Seething that I probably was passed over because I have a disability they feared would hinder my productivity. A disability that I fear is going to rule the rest of my life.
Well, fuck them. I can do this my way, and I will.
Braydon
It’s been a month since we signed on with Lappel. One month of ass kicking and song writing. The band has never worked this hard before, and it’s starting to wear on us. To add to it, I’m worried about Al. She’s been weird lately, and I can’t put my finger on it. I know it’s not me, but I wish I knew what it was. I’m so motherfucking happy with how things are moving between us that it’s kind of sickening. I think I always knew in the back of my head that she was it for me… It just took lots of years of stupid behaviors and a lot of drama to get me to this point of wanting to settle down. It’s insane how I can’t see myself with anyone else now that it’s just the two of us.
The bar has been hopping ever since we signed the contract with the label, too. It’s like they want to be able to say they knew us way back when, before we were famous. I’m okay with that… It keeps the revenue up, and the stock flowing. Ever since that night Gabe pretty much gave away out entire bar stock, I’ve been worried about shit not refilling and us running this place into the ground, but it’s actually turned out to be the total opposi
te. Maybe everyone’s always here just waiting for us to go insane and open the bar to all again.
Either way, it’s working out and I’m not jinxing it.
“We done for the day, boss man?” Teg asks from behind me.
“You know I fucking hate you calling me that,” I bitch, setting my guitar down. Looking up, the whole band is staring at me with cocked eyebrows. “What?” Gabe starts laughing, and the rest of the band tries to hold their looks of confusion. They’ve been calling me that for a week now and I … oh, fuck.
“Gabe!” Turning to him, my jaw sets and I feel the fury and embarrassment rising.
“What!? I’m just the innocent bystander that needed to grab his phone. It’s not my fault I stepped into a porno.” He laughs, and I growl, rolling my eyes.
Last week, Alexis might have met me here after practice and seduced me into office sex. Who am I to say to no her? She’s too damn sexy. That’s where ‘boss man’ came from. Gabe must have walked in just at the wrong time.
And spread it to the entire band.
“Haha, fuckers. Laugh it up. Tomorrow, none of this fucking shit anymore, okay?” I used to like joking around with them about the chicks I fucked, but it’s different with Alexis. It’s more special to me, and I’d rather not goof around with the boys about it anymore.
I think I’m finally over that part of my life when I had to show off all of my conquests. Now that I have the girl I want forever, it doesn’t seem right to share our intimate times with the world.
“So, you going with Trixie tomorrow?” Gabe isn’t facing me when he’s talking, and I know it’s probably because she’s been hanging around here more and more lately, and he feels guilty about something. I’m not certain what he has to feel guilty for, but he looks guilty. Tomorrow is the ultrasound to find out what the baby is. She’s seven months along and, up until a month ago, her dumb ass didn’t even know she was pregnant. Now that I’m in the picture, though, things are going to be different; normal. This baby isn’t being born into a world of booze and drugs… a world that Trixie is notorious for living in. I’m bringing this baby home with me if she doesn’t clean her act up, and soon. There’s no reason for her to have a kid if she can’t take care of her own damn self.
“Yes,” I grumble, pissed that she’s not allowing Alexis in the room with us. Trix has never pushed for a relationship with me, but the fact that she’s trying to push Alexis away makes me hate her even more than I did before. It’s like she thinks, by not allowing Al to be in the room to find out the sex of the baby, that she’s not going to be involved. Hell, if I had it my way Al would be the mother of this baby. I’d fucking love to see Al carrying my kid. It just doesn’t look right on Trixie, knowing how much I hate her, and how much I love the child she’s growing inside her. But Al? Al would be the most gorgeous pregnant woman I’ve ever seen… I just know it. We haven’t talked about kids or the future at all… not since the accident. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with her. Maybe she’s just starting to feel left out.
I think tonight it’s time I remind her who she is to me.
She’s Alexis Grant, the strongest female on this side of the Pacific that I know.
“She’s pretty torn up about having a kid, man. Maybe you should cut her some slack.” I’ve never wanted to punch Gabe, but right now… this lecture? I really want to hit him in his smug face.
“I’m being as nice as fucking possible to the psycho. She’s just hormonal and a bitch. Not my fault she can’t deal with being an adult. What’s it to you, anyway?”
His eyes go wide, and my suspicions of their relationship have just heightened. Not that I’d care, but he needs to learn how to talk to me when it comes to my son or daughter’s mother.
“I just care about her. Someone has to.”
In two strides, I’m at his front, towering over him and ready to pin him to the wall if he doesn’t watch it. I have no time for assholes today.
“I care about the baby she’s growing. My baby. Never… ever… tell me I don’t care about that child. I don’t care about the fact that you’re up Trixie’s ass for no apparent reason. Fuck, Gabe! This ain’t your kid! Why do you care so much?!”
“Fuck, man! Fine! We’re… together.” He looks like a scorned child, and I back off, as he shakes his head. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. It just… did. She’s not a bad person. She’s just confused and angry and not ready to be a parent.”
“Why the hell wouldn’t you just tell me all this, Gabe? You’re a little too good at keeping secrets.”
“Yeah, man. Sorry. I just… it’s your baby… but I feel some sort of connection to it, too, and it’s all kinds of fucked up.”
“You’re telling me,” I scoff. “Listen, I’m heading home for a bit before the show. You should do the same.”
He shakes his head, and heads back to the office to grab his shit. I’m done with people telling me how I should act. I’ve had enough of it from our manager lately, and I had enough of it growing up on the wrong side of the tracks.
Hopping on my bike after I lock up the building once Gabe leaves, I strap on my helmet and enjoy one of the last warm days of the year. The seasons are all kind of blurred together in California, but, once fall starts, there’s a definite difference in the air. Not quite cold… but not really warm either. I won’t be able to ride much longer this year, and, after the baby is born, I won’t be able to ride at all… but that’s okay. I’ll still keep the bike for recreational purposes. Every man needs a toy, right?
The entire drive home, I try to come up with something to tell Al about Gabe, but I can’t. I’ve got nothing. He can screw whomever he wants to screw, and it honestly only bothers me that he was holding it back from me.
Al’s car is in the lot and, when I pull in and park, I take a moment to look at our building. Lane started renting this place five years ago, just after moving here and getting his first big gig. It was soon after that I started living upstairs from him. A small brick building in the heart of the old part of LA, the two story, two apartment building was perfect for us. We didn’t have the responsibilities of taking care of the upkeep on the building, we were living on our own but still right next to each other, and we didn’t have to deal with angry neighbors when our parties got too loud. And boy did we throw some kick ass parties.
Now, it feels weird living with Alexis, but not really with her. I stay the night sometimes, and there are nights she’ll stay at my place, but being separated by doors and locks and no direct route to get to her without a key just feels… weird.
That’s when I get the perfect idea. I know exactly what I need to do… Something that will bring us closer in every way possible.
And she’s going to love it.
Quickly swiping a text to a friend I know in construction, I put my phone away and head inside, straight to her door, smiling that I might not have to do this much longer. I may be able to walk in and walk straight to her… Instead, here I stand, knocking on her door before letting myself in.
“Al?” The entire apartment is dark, but there’s noise and a soft glow coming from the bedroom. It’s weird. Ever since Alden’s company turned her down for the job, she’s been more carefree about things. It’s strange… It’s like them telling her no made something in her that hadn’t ever been opened up crack. “Alexis?” I slip off my shoes and hat and lay my keys, phone and wallet on the counter before rounding it and heading down the hallway. We don’t live together, but this feels like coming home from a long day’s work. I’d be okay with this
I see candles lit in the bedroom, and the soft music that is playing sounds like something I’d never listen to, but it’s definitely setting a mood that has my pants tightening at the possibilities. “Alexis Grant, what are you up to in here?” Rounding the corner, I stop in my tracks at the sight before me. The last month of sex with her was nothing short of amazing, but, right now, I feel like I’ve won the fucking sex lottery: a black fishnet nightie, porn playing on her bedroom
TV, and Alexis kneeling at the foot of the bed, giving me the most lust-filled look ever.
Holy. Fuck.
“Well, hello, Mr. Simms.” Her voice is filled with sexual tension, and I can see the color in her cheeks the closer I get to her. With my erection straining to get free, I adjust myself and walk straight to her, not wasting time bringing my lips to hers. Soft, subtle, and ready for me, she pushes her body against mine, and starts undressing me one article at a time. She grins when she makes it to my boxer briefs, gliding her hand over my erection. Jesus Christ, her hands are magic. If she did this enough, I could come just like this.
But I can’t.
I want to have her tonight… all of her.
“Don’t move,” she whispers, and then lays flat on her stomach, grinning up at me. “I can’t stay on my knees for long times, and I’ve really been wanting to do this.” She looks almost shy or embarrassed with having to position herself like that, which makes me angry that she thinks I’d care.
“I’m not gonna stop you.” My voice comes out more gravelly than I thought it would, but I’m busting out of my briefs right now, and just the sight of Al ready for me has me harder than I think I’ve ever been.
Her delicate hands go to the waistband of my briefs, and she slides them down, eyeing me as she licks her lips. Her warm hands wrap around my dick, and I have to stop myself from pumping into her. Letting her take me in at her own speed, I hit the back of her throat, and just about lose my load from the warmth wetness of her mouth. My hands go to her head. Jesus Christ, if she isn’t the most beautiful woman. Her ass is just rounded enough, peeking out from under the hem of the nightie. The back of the nightie has black leather clasps at the back. So damn sexy. Goddamnit, the way she’s pumping me and taking me as far back as she can is so fucking hot.
