Southern Fried Blues (The Officers' Ex-Wives Club)

by Jamie Farrell

  “Sugar, I got lots to teach you.”

  Anna grabbed her ketchup bottle and squeezed in another shot, more for fun than necessity. “Is it enough if I wish his first new girlfriend gives him herpes?”

  “That’ll do. Feeling better?”

  Anna inhaled sulfur and hints of smoke. She caught sight of a wispy trail from the last firecracker floating through the sky, and she realized her shoulders weren’t bunched, her teeth not clenched, her muscles not spun tight.

  She was free.

  Not alone, but free.

  She smiled at Kaci. “Yeah. A lot better.”

  Kaci gave her arm a squeeze. “Good on you.”

  On impulse, Anna snagged Kaci in a hug. “Thank you.”

  “That’s what your ex-wife friends are for.” Kaci squeezed her back hard. “You stick with me, sugar, and everything’s gonna be fine.”

  Chapter Six

  His body was a temple, well-fed, well-slept, well-exercised, but upon taking her hand a second time, he realized his heart had been sorely neglected.

  —The Temptress of Pecan Lane, by Mae Daniels

  FRIDAY NIGHT, JACKSON put his phone on silent, gave Radish a big old belly rub and a bowl of fresh water, then left the piles of boxes in his new house to deal with next week. Lance and his old lady were having a Fourth of July cookout, and Jackson was curious enough about their friends to call Auburn and let the family know he wasn’t coming up until tomorrow.

  His new place was closer to base than Lance and Kaci’s house. Homier, too, in his opinion, but that was probably the Radish effect. Still, he and Radish had appreciated a few meals in Lance’s mini-mansion while they were getting settled. Made it easy to walk through the door, greet his hostess in the kitchen with a kiss on the cheek, and navigate through the growing crowd to head straight for the grill.

  “Hey, Bubba,” Lance called from the man spot on the patio.

  “Thumper.” Jackson snagged a cola out of a cooler and sauntered over to shake his buddy’s hand. “Big crowd.”

  Easy to pick out Kaci’s friends from Lance’s. The Jim-Bob crowd all had long hair and were fanning themselves, while the Company Grade Officers Association folks were close-trimmed and dressed for the weather.

  “Hey, if Kaci mentions redneck golf, tell her you pulled a hamstring or something.” Lance’s lovestruck moon-eyes ruined his shudder. “Girl can’t throw a bola for shit. Takes forever to let her win.”

  “Should’ve told me before I got here. Already promised her a game.”

  “Hell, Bubba.”

  Jackson grinned. “You pull a hamstring.”

  “Not a bad idea. Probably get a rubdown out of it.”

  “More power to you, man.”

  Lance flipped the lid up on the grill and started poking at the burgers. “Still avoiding the war eagle crowd?” he asked.

  “Heading up that way tomorrow.” Louisa’s birthday wasn’t until Sunday, but the girl did birthdays like New Orleans did Mardi Gras. Wouldn’t have surprised him to pull up to a parade. But it was her twenty-first, and he’d missed more of her birthdays than he’d made, so he owed her.

  They stood there shooting the breeze and grilling until Kaci showed up with a plateful of cheese slices lined up so straight Momma’s Junior League friends would’ve been impressed. “You boys about done with the burgers? We got a hungry crowd.”

  “First round’s coming off now,” Lance said. “Hey, Bubba, you mind grabbing the rest out of the fridge?”

  “Oh!” Kaci spun at him so fast, the cheese almost flew right off the plate. She had a look in her eyes that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Like Miss Flo before she got to talking about her single granddaughter.

  “Yes, ma’am?” Jackson ventured.

  Kaci’s face went all innocent. “While you’re in there, go on and ask Anna for the hot dogs, would you, sugar?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” No need wasting words asking who Anna was. She’d be the sweet one with questionable biscuits.

  Probably he should tell Kaci about his thoughts on butter, but she was already gone, flitting about among her guests.

  He strolled to the door, tossing his cola can in the recycling bin on the way.

  The back door opened into the living room, which was one of the things he didn’t like so much about all these newer houses. The kitchen was off to the right, partly open into the living room. Two women were in there talking. Rather, one was talking. The other was cutting the most uniform tomato slices he’d ever seen.

  It wasn’t the tomatoes that stopped him.

  It was the doe eyes.

  So that’s who Anna was. He’d lay odds the cheese plate had been her doing too.

  She looked like she could’ve used some fried chicken and biscuits to put some meat back in her cheeks, and her straight light hair was longer than when he saw her last time.

  Prettier than he remembered, and he’d remembered her awful darn pretty.

  There was that chuckle in his head again. Combined with the unusual thumping in his chest, he took a second to pull himself together.

  “Thought you went home after Neil left,” the other one was saying. Jackson recognized her from outside. She had railroad tracks knitted on the shoulders of her blouse to match her CGOA president husband’s rank of captain.

  If it weren’t for the way Anna’s nose wrinkled whenever one of her slices was thicker than the others, he wouldn’t have thought the first girl’s yammering bothered her. “Nope. Still here.” And she sounded as happy as if she were facing fire ants again.

  He’d been raised better than to listen to two ladies gossip, but he reckoned this was the only way he’d ever find out anything about her.

  Besides, it was entertaining.

  “If it weren’t for Tom there’s no way I’d stay here.” The other woman gave a high-pitched giggle that made Jackson’s ears hurt. “So are you working or something?”

  Tomato juice flew off the end of the knife. “I’ve always worked.”

  “Oh, right, right. You’re a receptionist somewhere?”

  “Analytical technical support.” She grabbed a paper towel and wiped the tomato juice off the counter, a big old fake smile shining away.

  At least there weren’t any tears this time. He might work up some of his own if that other girl didn’t quit that shrill giggle though. “That’s all over my head,” she said. “So are you here with somebody tonight?”

  Jackson cared about that answer more than he should’ve. That chuckling in his head and pounding in his chest got louder too.

  “I’m with the school crowd.”

  “Oh, good. An education is so important for a single woman these days. What are you studying?”

  “Chemical engineering at James Robert.”

  The other girl’s eyes went big as Jackson guessed his own were. He’d known she had some brains, but didn’t know she had that many. “Oh, wow. Wouldn’t it have been easier to take the alimony?”

  Just when things were getting interesting, Anna stood up about fourteen feet tall and glared down her nose like she’d been born and bred a Southern lady herself. “A friend of mine at school mentioned she got one of the scholarships the officers’ wives club sponsored this year. She was really grateful. You’ll have to let me know when the next fundraiser is. If ex-wives can contribute, that is.”

  Jackson didn’t know how the girl had missed that duck-and-cover sign. It should’ve thwacked her upside the head a second time, it swung down so hard, but the girl kept on talking. Good time to get those burgers and hot dogs. “’Scuse me, ladies. Anna, Kaci’s wanting the rest of them burgers and those hot dogs for the kids.”

  Anna looked at him, then looked again, and her cheeks went all dark. Her jaw hung like a door with broken hinges, and her eyes darted this way and that as if avoiding him meant he wouldn’t be there.

  But he kept on walking into the kitchen as if he didn’t notice. Partly because his momma had taught him better than to embar
rass a lady, but more because he was glad she recognized him.

  He’d never been good with being forgettable.

  The back door opened, and the base commander’s wife walked in behind him. Lance had pointed out the higher-ups, and Jackson was glad he had. Lance had also told him Kaci and the commander’s missus were tight over their officers’ ex-wives club thing, the commander being his missus’s second husband, and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to know Kaci was up to something.

  Even if it did take a rocket scientist, he had that covered too.

  “Wendy, there you are,” Sarah Sheridan said. “Do you have a minute? Rosa and I need a little help on a thrift store problem.”

  “Absolutely, Mrs. Sheridan,” Wendy chirped. She gave Anna a bright, “See you around!” then smiled at Jackson on her way past.

  Before the door shut behind them, Anna had herself buried in the fridge. When she finally pulled her head back out, her cheeks were pale again, and she almost made eye contact. She handed over a platter of hamburgers, then dove back into the fridge.

  Good thing Mamie and Miss Flo weren’t here to see this. Might hurt his reputation.

  Or get Anna in trouble for insulting their sugarplum.

  She came back up with a bowl of hot dogs and some of that spine she’d shown Wendy the Windy. “That’s the last of it,” she said, and she even looked him straight on.

  “Much obliged, ma’am.”

  She must’ve gotten her fill of his pretty face, because she looked away right quick. Her gaze fell on the window, and her face went screwy.

  Mrs. Sheridan and Wendy were on the other side.

  “You handled her right good for a Yankee,” he said.

  That earned him a hint of a smile, which earned him another big old wallop right about where his heart sat.

  And because he wasn’t a fool about knowing what wanting to see a bigger smile out of her might mean, he took himself and the meat outside.

  ANNA COULD’VE USED about half a lifetime to recover from the triple-whammy of signing her divorce papers yesterday, Wendy’s inquisition about her failures tonight, and the exterminator’s appearance in the middle of it, but the cookout had just started. Before she could straighten the ceramic utensil crocks on the counter, Lance brought in the first batch of burgers. Behind him, a crowd filtered inside looking for food and cooler temperatures.

  When all the extra bodies made the house feel hotter than boiling oil, Anna ducked outside in search of a dark, quiet corner. The sun hadn’t set, and too many people were still playing in the pool for her to succeed in either goal. Instead, she settled for a semi-hidden spot near a fan where she could arrange the bin of pool toys by size and color. If she’d known how many CGOA people would be here tonight, she would’ve bailed. Which was probably why Kaci hadn’t mentioned it. She wondered if the CGOA was the exterminator’s crowd.

  Jackson, she reminded herself.

  And there he was again, squatting next to the pool in his board shorts and faded Alabama T-shirt, showing a kid how to hold a Nerf football. Jackson didn’t seem to mind the occasional splash the kid caused. He glanced up and met Anna’s eyes and gave her a friendly smile. She quickly looked away, realizing she’d dropped a pair of water balls where the pool noodles would’ve fit better. But a minute later she found herself focusing on Jackson again.

  He was still watching her.

  “Good gravy, sugar, you haven’t changed into your swimsuit yet.”

  Anna gave Kaci a weak smile. “Pool’s a little crowded.”

  “Never mind that, then. You hungry? Lance’s got the second batch of burgers all hot and ready.”

  Anna glanced back at the pool, but Jackson had moved on.

  Kaci squinted at her. “You looking for someone?”

  “No, I—sort of.” She dropped her voice. “You remember the ants in my car? And the guy who helped me?”

  “The dumb old redneck?”

  Anna darted furtive glances around until she spotted him with Lance. “He’s here.” She nodded at the grill.

  Kaci followed her line of sight, then let out a whoop of laughter.

  “Sshh!” Anna hadn’t thought her body could generate more heat in the summer evening, but her cheeks were flaming again.

  “Aw, sugar, Jackson’s good folk. He taught Lance how to throw rifles in ROTC at Bama. Just PCS’d here for good last week. If it makes you feel any better, he never mentioned the ants to us. That boy’s momma raised him right.” Her ring flashed when she gestured to the kitchen. “Heard you got rescued from an inquisition. You doing okay?”

  “I’m fine.” Aside from realizing her love life was prone to suicidal attractions, that was. Of course he was military. “She was trying to be nice.”

  Kaci humphed. “That girl doesn’t have the sense God gave a gnat. You give one of us a signal if she tries to corner you again.”

  “Thanks, but I’m good.”

  Kaci flitted off to play hostess. Anna snagged a margarita inside, then a burger and chips. The air conditioner was no match for the crowd, so she found a spot by a fan in a shady corner of the yard with Sarah and a couple of other girls. Occasionally, she spotted Jackson wandering around the party, and she found the nerve to smile back at him once or twice.

  She didn’t have to follow through on a smile. Probably wouldn’t, with him being military. But the last few weeks, Kaci kept insisting Anna would eventually want something more than the battery-operated devices in her divorce kit. Anna was almost ready to admit she might be right.

  About the “eventually” part.

  Eventually wasn’t today.

  She was just practicing. She was, after all, legally single now.

  Hints of dusk filtered in. Fluffy piles of Georgia clouds took on pink and orange hues. The crowd in the backyard thinned, with the families leaving first, then the couples dropping next. Wendy bid her an overly friendly good-bye, and Anna was happy to discover the encounter didn’t leave her needing to straighten the pool toys again. Someone turned on the patio lights and lit a few tiki torches for bug control. She hadn’t meant to be among the last guests tonight, but she was still happily nursing a slight buzz from the margarita.

  She’d fed her fish before she left for work this morning. No one expected her anywhere. And the night air was warm enough to be cozy without the oppression that made it hard to breathe. She treated herself to another margarita, only half full this time, and took her pick of the empty lawn chairs near the pool. She curled her legs up and settled in, and Kaci appeared at her side. “You up for some redneck golf? Lance is betting me the dishes he’ll beat the pants off us.”

  Anna smiled fondly. “Don’t think so. He always lets you win.”

  “You bet your britches. That’s how it’s supposed to be.”

  “But it’s not fun.”

  Kaci huffed. “Lance, get over here and talk some sense into this girl.”

  Lance dropped his grill brush to cross the patio. “What’s wrong, babe?”

  “She says it’s not any fun when you let us win.” Kaci stuck her lip out. Anna stifled a snort in her margarita.

  “Make you feel better if I pretend I’m trying?” Lance said to Anna.

  “Nope.” She had enjoyed the evening too much to ruin it watching Lance help Kaci score points and toss his bolas way off mark. She was happy Kaci had found someone to take a second chance with, but tonight, she wanted to be happy and single with no reminders of the kind of romance she’d probably never have again.

  Someone sat on her other side. She glanced over and found Jackson studying her. “I won’t let you win,” he said.

  She studied him right back. Her heart gave a jolt. She shivered against the tart taste flooding her mouth. His hair was within regs, barely a hint of the curl she’d seen on him last time. His cheeks showed a five o’clock shadow. “How would you explain that to your momma?”

  A big grin lit his face. “Well now, I reckon that’d be my problem.”

  Anna reclin
ed in the chair. “Sorry. Don’t believe you.” She took another sip.

  “Aw, c’mon, sugar,” Kaci said.

  “We might could make it interesting,” Jackson said. “Got a lot of boxes sitting around my house and not much mind to put ’em away. How about when us guys win, you come on over and set up my kitchen for me?”

  Anna pulled herself upright. That should’ve sounded paternalistic and condescending, but instead it made her nipples tingle. This was the closest she’d come to having someone talk dirty to her in, well, a lot longer than it should’ve been. She licked her lips. “And if we women win?”

  He scratched his head. “Suppose I could come on over next time you need a man to stomp out a spider. You still got my number?”

  “Spiders don’t bother me.”

  The glint in his eyes told her he didn’t buy her bluff. “I hear tell some ladies like fancy chocolates. Might could pick up a box or two.”

  Oh, yeah. Definitely dirty.

  “That’s a pretty darn good deal, sugar.” Kaci stood. “So we playing or not?”

  Anna set her margarita aside and stood too. “Yeah. We’re playing.”

  But only redneck golf.

  Or so she told herself.

  Chapter Seven

  She partook of ladylike games in a ladylike manner, but when called upon to participate in gentlemanly endeavors, she executed her role regimentally as if she’d been a general in a previous life.

  —The Temptress of Pecan Lane, by Mae Daniels

  A FEW MINUTES LATER, Lance carried two PVC ladders out of the garage. Jackson followed with the bolas, which were thin ropes anchored with golf balls on either end. Bama colors for Lance, Ole Miss for Kaci.

  The guys set up the ladders about twenty feet apart. There were three rungs on each. One point for wrapping a bola around the bottom rung, two points for the middle rung, three points for the top. Lance and Kaci took their positions at one ladder, while Anna and Jackson stationed themselves at the other. Kaci was up to toss first, so Anna scooted as close to the pool and far away from the ladder as possible. After Kaci’s first toss went wild, Jackson joined her. “Guess this might could take a while.”