Peg's Stand

by Manda Mellett

  “Like I want all the drugs going.” Marcia chokes back a sob. “I’m sorry. It hurts so fucking much.”

  “Marc…”

  “Heart. Don’t you fucking say anything.”

  Hammer ignores her outburst. “Can you lie on the bed, Marcia, and let me take a look at you?”

  Moving awkwardly, she does. When Hammer goes to remove her leggings, Heart pushes him out of the way, pulling them off, then stretching her long top down. Hammer covers her lower half with a sheet, then gently moves her tee back up and moves his hands over her stomach, which I can see is rock hard.

  Marcia’s eyes are wide and worried as she suffers his examination, hardly daring to breathe.

  When Hammer looks up, he’s smiling. “First baby’s head seems to be in the right position. We’re going to do this, Marcia, okay? Now, I’m sorry, but I want to examine you to see whereabouts you are.” He slips on gloves.

  Heart growls when he sees Hammer’s intention. “Can’t you do this, Darcy?”

  I shake my head. “Hammer’s got far more expertise than me.” I know how possessive these bikers can be, so I lay it on the line for him. “You want your children born safely, Heart. Let Hammer do what he has to.”

  It’s easy to see Heart’s torn between watching what Hammer’s doing to his woman and being unable to look.

  “I can feel the head crowning. These babies want out, Marcia. I know it hurts, but it won’t be too long now.”

  “It shouldn’t be this way.” Marcia howls, and then as her body goes taut once again, pants through another contraction. After what seems to be a lifetime, it passes.

  Hammer keeps in touch with Doctor Cassidy by radio, updating her on how Marcia’s doing. We get updates on the fire, which is still burning fiercely, but the efforts of the bikers and firefighters are proving successful in keeping it away from the compound. The woman on the bed is suffering bravely, and as Heart takes her hand I see his turning white as she tries to cope with the pain. From the look of anguish on his face, he’d do anything to be able to suffer for her instead.

  An hour passes, and I keep timing those contractions. A particularly strong one has Marcia screaming out.

  “How long was that?”

  “Two minutes,” I tell him.

  “Right, Marcia. If you feel the need to push, do.”

  My heart bleeds for her, she’s trying so hard. Beads of sweat run down her face from effort and pain. Heart’s wiping her forehead, speaking words of encouragement, and at last Hammer tells her, “I can see the head crowning. Next contraction I want you to push really hard.” He places his hands gently on the baby’s head, and I see him checking to make sure the umbilical cord isn’t wrapped around it. “Everything’s looking good, Marcia. Now, push.”

  She does, and for the next one, she clenches her fists and grits her teeth.

  “Baby’s coming. Once again, Marcia, give it all that you’ve got.” Then to me, “There’s a scalpel in my bag. Can you get it? And pass me a towel.”

  As I do, it looks like the baby’s covered in cellophane. Hammer quickly breaks the sac and wipes its face.

  “Shoulders are out. And baby is too, Marcia.”

  Hammer wraps it in a towel, but not before telling the exhausted woman, “You’ve got a boy, Marcia.” Holding the baby with his head facing down, he takes the sterile cloth that I’m holding and gently wipes the mucus away. His fingers are resting on the baby boy’s chest, then he looks at me and grins.

  “Baby’s fine, Marcia.” The baby screams proving Hammer’s right.

  Marcia’s totally worn out, but the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen creeps across her face as she turns to Heart. “We’ve got a son.”

  Heart’s looking almost as shattered as her. He’s shaking his head as if he can’t quite believe it. “A son, Marc. We have a son.”

  Hammer passes the baby to me to hold, who quietens in my hold, and then goes to check on Marcia. “Baby two isn’t quite in the right position, Marcia. I’m just going to see if I can move him around.” He places his hand on her stomach, and gently manipulates the baby inside while Marcia again clenches her teeth, breathing a sigh of relief when he steps back and tells her, “There, that’s it.”

  “I want to push.”

  “Go right ahead. Shouldn’t take long now, as you’re already stretched.”

  It doesn’t. Only fifteen minutes after the first, Marcia gives birth to a baby girl. But she’s not breathing. Unfazed, while the worried parents look on and exchange concerned glances, Hammer efficiently gives her mouth to mouth, and then with a cry she starts taking in air all on her own.

  Hammer updates the doctor and gets his next instructions. He cuts the umbilical cords, and hands one baby to a stunned Heart, and one he puts into Marcia’s arms. “See if they’ll latch on and suckle.”

  She tries, Heart helps her. It seems like he’s done this before and knows what he’s doing.

  Hammer is still watching carefully what’s happening, and as Marcia pushes again, the placenta comes out. She’s bleeding. It’s not unusual, but we have to deal with it.

  “I’ll go and see if any of the women have a sanitary pad.” I go to the door, then turn back. “You want me to tell them the good news?”

  Heart’s got the biggest stupid grin on his face as he looks up and nods. “Sure, let everyone know.”

  In the clubroom all the women are waiting around, along with Fergus, the prospect. For the first time today, I’ve got something uplifting to say as all eyes land on me. “A boy and a girl. Both look okay.” When they’ve digested the news, I ask for what I came out for.

  Sam nods. “Marcia’s got a hospital bag prepared in her room. I should have thought of it earlier.”

  “I’ll go,” Fergus offers. After Sam describes it, he pulls up his bandana and disappears into the smoke-filled air.

  “Can we see them?” Sophie asks.

  “Let’s get her cleaned up and sorted first, okay?”

  I return to the room to find Hammer smiling. “The wind’s dropped, and they’ll be able to get a helicopter here soon. Hear that Marcia? You and the babies will be able to be checked out.”

  She’s trying to get both babies to suckle. Two little mouths are rooting around. She seems so intent on the miracles in her arms that she hardly hears what he’s telling her.

  Heart does, though, and lets out a deep sigh of relief. He looks over to us and holds out his hand. Hammer shakes it first, then when I go to take it, he pulls me in for a hug. “Thank you, thank you both. I don’t know what we’d have fuckin’ done without you.”

  Hammer grins. “This was one of my most pleasurable day’s work, man. Don’t sweat it man. It’s what we do.”

  A knock at the door, and I take the bag from Fergus. Manoeuvring the babies between us, Heart helps Marcia out of her sweat-laden top and into the nightie she had in her bag. Then I help her with the more intimate products. With Heart’s help, Hammer takes the dirty sheets off the bed, and we replace them with the spares Sam had helpfully provided.

  “You’ve got a bunch of eager women out there. Want to let them come in?”

  “I think it’s too early for that…”

  “Heart.” With one word, Marcia stops him. “If I’m going to the hospital soon, let them come in for a moment.” There’s a glow of pride on her exhausted face, and it deserves to be there. She did well.

  They must have been hanging around outside. As I open the door, Sophie, Ella, Sam, Carmen, and Sandy come in, immediately crowding the small room. Fergus pushes the old lady in the wheelchair in, then backs away, his head peering around the doorway as if he doesn’t feel invited but can’t help having a look.

  Marcia looks up at them, that proud, beatific smile still on her tired and drawn face. She nods at Heart and says, “Meet Jacob and Isabel.” Heart’s hand’s resting gently on the head of his son as he gives a small nod to his woman.

  “They’re tiny,” gasps Sandy. “What do they weigh?”

&n
bsp; “Whoa.” Hammer laughs. “We’ll let them sort all that out at the hospital.”

  At that moment, a grey furry bundle pushes past Fergus and comes bounding up to the bed. “Grunt. Down boy.” Heart laughs.

  “I got him.” Sam rests her hand on the dog’s collar and pulls him away. “He just wanted to see his new family, didn’t you, boy?” Grunt’s tail’s wagging furiously, and as large as he is, he’s getting in everyone’s way.

  Hammer’s quick to notice it’s getting too much for the new parents. “Ladies, can we give them some space?”

  “You done good, girl.” The old woman nods approvingly as Fergus reappears to wheel her out. I must find out who she is. But my curiosity will have to wait. Marcia’s my priority.

  Reluctant to leave, the other women blow kisses at Marcia, and then go, Sam dragging an unwilling Grunt away.

  Hammer’s back on the radio. He listens to what he’s being told, sucks in air, then blows it out, then answers, “Okay.” He nods toward Heart and Marcia. “The helicopter’s coming in. Should be about twenty minutes. It can’t hang about for long. The fire’s not as bad as it was, but it’s still burning. They’re designating a helispot in the area you cleared at the back of the compound. We need to do what we can to protect the babies from inhaling too much smoke.”

  “Will this do?” I pull out some gauze from his bag.

  We fashion some makeshift masks while Heart helps Marcia swing her legs off the bed and slips her feet into some sandals. “I’m a bit underdressed,” she tells him.

  “You’re going to the hospital,” he replies. “Not out on the town.” His eyes flick to mine. “Will I be able to go with her?”

  Hammer answers with a frown. “Depends on the helicopter. They’re bringing a medic along in case they need medical attention on the way. I’m sorry, man, but possibly not.”

  By his expression, Heart doesn’t want to be separated from his woman and babies so soon. But it can’t be helped. I try to reassure him. “Heart, despite everything today, Marcia’s done an amazing job, and the babies look like they’re doing well. But it’s important she gets to the hospital as soon as she can. I know you don’t want to be parted, but hopefully it won’t be for long.”

  He nods. Marcia stumbles as she tries to stand.

  “Heart and I will carry the babies,” Hammer announces. “You help Marcia along.”

  But Heart’s got other ideas, sweeping her up into his arms and carrying her outside to a Jeep. He carefully puts her in the back seat and takes the baby Hammer carried out and gives her son to her. I sit beside her with her daughter in my arms. As I give her a sideways look, I see her staring down into the bundle she’s holding, a look of disbelief on her face.

  I nudge her. “You doing okay?”

  “I just can’t believe they’re here. And that they’re alright.”

  “I meant how are you feeling?” I smile.

  “Sore, but that doesn’t matter. Look what I got for my pain?” She laughs softly. “But I do feel I could sleep for a week.”

  That’s par for the course for any new mother and I suspect a full night’s sleep won’t be in the cards for a very long time.

  As Heart slowly and carefully drives up the compound, I stare at the baby in my arms, feeling a pang inside. I’m not getting any younger and have always expected one day to have a family of my own. A family that I know Peg would be only too happy to give me. Then bite my lip as I realise the chances of that happening now are slim to nothing.

  Taking advantage of the moment of peace in the mayhem I’ve been embroiled in for the past three days, my mind flits over what’s happened since I last saw him. The initial call to the fire, sitting in the engine not immediately knowing what we were being dispatched to, but being prepared for anything. Being so scared for Nicole, and the relief when we found her, my own life being at risk when the fire caught up with us, and now the exhilaration that I was able to help Hammer deliver these beautiful babies.

  Instead of dampening my enthusiasm for my job, these past few days have enhanced it. I don’t want anything to put that at risk. Which, I have to accept, is at odds with a relationship with an outlaw biker.

  Especially one who treats the women as he and his brothers do. It hadn’t escaped my notice that while I’d be in the clubhouse every woman was staying safe while their men were out protecting the compound from the fire. Cooking up food to provide sustenance, comforting and encouraging them when their men when they came down for a break. If I was here as an old lady, would that be my expected place? Peg’s look of concern that I’d been in the midst of the firefighting hadn’t escaped me, and neither had I missed his expression of relief and approval that for a time I was going to be out of danger and doing a job more appropriate for a woman. Delivering babies. He hadn’t had to say one word, it was all written on his face.

  I couldn’t be cocooned like the rest of the old ladies, I’d soon suffocate. Peg and I are oceans apart. Coming here today, seeing how the women are corralled and protected, had been an eyeopener for me, and had brought home that being with an overprotective man is not what I want. I want an equal partnership, not one where I’m smothered and kept off the front line.

  Fighting this fire has reminded me what I live for. Knowing I’m making a difference, when structures are threatened, saving peoples’ homes or livelihoods. A life of being pampered isn’t one I’d enjoy, but already knowing what I do about Peg, I’m convinced that’s what he’d have lined up for me.

  I can imagine his reaction if he knows I might have to give up my job in order to be with him. He’d be delighted. Especially now when he’s seen first-hand what I go up against. Could I see Peg happily waving me off each time I go on shift, after having got up close and personal with what I deal with every day? Knowing the danger and risks that we take. For the past three days, I’ve had no real sleep and no thought of anything but tackling the force of nature in front of me. It put everything else out of my mind. My priority to play my part in stopping its ferocious advance. Now I’ve an interlude of relative calm, it’s put everything into perspective and confirmed what I suspected.

  Peg and I have no future. I’ve got my team around me, people who understand what I do. Much as I might envy Marcia and her babies, I can’t see how that can fit into my world. When I realise I won’t give up my career for Peg, I also must accept there’s no middle ground. I was stupid ever thinking there was. My department would frown on the relationship, and I’d be fighting Peg every day that he believes I’m putting my life at risk.

  We’re passing through men and going out of the rear gate, coming to a halt as the helicopter appears above us, giving it space to land. The spinning rotor stirs up dust and fans the flames of a small fire, which one of my team runs and puts out. Ash is still falling around us like snow as Heart pulls the Jeep in as close as he can get.

  Things move quickly. Marcia’s helped inside, then the babies are secured. Hammer has a brief word with the medics, and within minutes the helicopter is taking off again, Heart staring after it until it disappears from sight.

  “She’ll be fine.” I put my hand on his shoulder. “You’ll be able to go to her soon.” It’s clear to see the fire has lost its intensity, with the wind having died down and becoming only a gentle breeze, it’s gradually consuming the fuel that’s already alight, but no longer such a hungry beast ravenous for more.

  “Flash.” Slade appears at my side.

  “Yeah. Where d’you want me, Captain?” Looking at him is probably like looking into a mirror, bags showing under his red-rimmed eyes, lines etched on his soot-laden forehead, reminding me we’ve been here more than eighty hours straight, a couple of insufficient naps sleeping in one of the engines, just enough to keep us awake.

  “You need some down time. Drummer’s offered us the use of his clubroom for firefighters to take a break.”

  I give myself a shake, trying to rid myself of the overwhelming exhaustion, feeling both mentally and physically drained. �
��I’m fine to go on, Slade.”

  “That’s an order, Cavanaugh. Hammer, Truck, and I are standing down too. Take a couple of hours, get some food and have a rest.”

  Actually, that sounds good, as long as I’m not being given preferential treatment. As my crew members come to join me, we walk back through the gate. Heart comes running up. “I’ve got to get the Jeep moved back anyway. Want a lift?”

  As we gratefully agree, Peg appears.

  Chapter 25

  Peg

  Flash is dead on her feet. Fuck knows how long she’s been out here fighting the fire, and helping Marcia give birth must have been draining. I’m filled with admiration for her, for the job that she does and her willingness to turn her hand to anything necessary. My brave woman, fighting the fire alongside her colleagues, proving herself equal to any man. But now I’m concerned at how drawn she looks.

  My intention is to examine her more closely. I reach out my hand, but she takes a step back. I crease my brow, surprised. “Flash?”

  “Not now, Peg.” She catches my eye before looking down at her feet and shaking her head. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

  It’s the way that she says it, the tone of her voice which has me reeling, suggesting it’s the talk, the one I’d rather not have. I don’t know what’s happened since I last saw her, we’ve had no contact for more than three days. But something’s changed. Something that despite the stifling air around us, makes me grow cold. I haven’t found her just to have her walk away.

  She’s tired, swaying with exhaustion. Perhaps she’s not thinking straight. Seeing Heart waiting to take them down to the clubhouse, I realise some down time might be just what she needs. “Go get some rest, darlin’.” It could be she’s right not to want to talk now. Something to eat and a nap might put her straight.

  I can do nothing but watch as the woman I’d thought I’d claimed as my old lady walks to the Jeep and gets inside. I want nothing more than to be able to hold her. After all my fears when I’d known she was up on the mountain fighting the fire, I wanted her in my arms to reassure myself she was alright.