Heroine Hearts: Darkness Made These Heroine Hearts

by Kirsty-Anne Still

  My presence here has already seen her be beaten and I have no intention of doing anything to cause a second round of attacks. However, it does add fuel to my hate fire. I’d be a stupid man to make myself believe I’m here for a job. I know Isla’s right; no one comes here for a job.

  Isla, my mind whispers her name in reaction to the thought of her, scratching away the given name she has here of Eighteen.

  I look up to the sky, taking in every single one of the glittering stars and draw in a deep breath. I know this is the first of many sleepless nights, but only because my life just became more difficult. I entered this world knowing what I would be made to do but never did I intend to run into a woman like Isla. She is nothing like I had expected to find in this underworld. She’s not even remotely close to all the tales I’ve heard. The innocence she holds so unwittingly causes her to play on my mind, and the strength she exudes consumes me.

  Lowering my head, I shake away all thoughts of her. Now is no time to become concerned with a girl who can clearly hold her own. I have my own life to keep on track and it’s time I did what I’m really here for.

  The real job I hold value to.

  “You’re needed in the back room,” Hector tells me, looking rougher than usually. “It’s been a long night, so don’t keep him waiting.”

  “You look like shit,” I quip, giving him a sideways grin.

  “Surprised you didn’t wake up with all the commotion early hours of this morning,” he muses, rubbing his jaw. “Joaquín’s excited, but it’s got me fucking nervous.”

  “What is it?” I ask, cocking a brow.

  “Go and see for yourself,” he says, throwing his head back as if to nod in the direction I have to go. “I need to get everyone in there and waiting.”

  I do as he said, but as I walk in and find three girls hanging from the rafters in the room, their hands bound above their heads. It doesn’t take me long to realize the middle one is Isla and my heart begins to race. She’s still in the shorts and vest she was in when she came outside, but now I see the harshness of purple cast across her stomach. It takes all of my strength to stop myself from racing across the room to untie her.

  Slowly, I drag my eyes over her body, preparing myself to look into her eyes. When they meet mine across the room, I’m shocked at what she’s saying to me so silently. There’s a ferocity in her gaze, something telling me that she can do this, that she’ll be okay. My anger flares in an instant as I find myself falling into a crowd and all I can do is watch Isla and two other girls stand, hands tied up above their heads, all on clear display.

  “Ah, you’ve seen them!” Joaquín declares as he enters.

  “Why are they up there?” I ask, looking oblivious to my boss.

  “They’re merely helping us set an example...” Joaquín trails off.

  “Eighteen is up there for denying you, obviously. The other two, Kelly and Claire are up for refusing to go on the drug run with Eighteen and the others before you arrived.” Santiago looks at me. “It’s how the system works, Santos.”

  “But that’s not all they’re up there for,” Joaquín announces, a gleeful glint in his eyes.

  Disgusted, I revert my gaze to the girls, finding Isla with her head lolled to the side, her eyes shut as her lips move. If I didn’t know better, I would assume she’s praying, but I’m too far away to tell. I don’t know how this happened, or why I care, but there is some intrinsic pull to her. My attention is always captivated by her in whatever shade she is in.

  When I got onto that bus from San Diego to come here, I had ideas in my head of what I would do, how I would be, what type of man I would become. I never anticipated for anyone to get wrapped up in this plan I was devising apart from the men of this cartel. I never had time to think about a girl, any girl, jumping in and changing my every intent.

  From day one she has presented herself to me as a survivor, enduring the unthinkable to just survive. She is clearly done living her life and instead is going with the throes, doing whatever she can to survive another day. However, while at first I thought she was subordinate and weak, my view has quickly morphed.

  Her hanging there, prepared for whatever is to come, shows me another side of her strength.

  Isla is able to endure the unthinkable and remain so in touch with her humanity, and I know I haven't even met the real Isla yet. The real her, everything she is about I haven’t even met, but I’m prepared to seek and find out.

  This moment, with those girls hanging before me, is the cement that confirms my thoughts.

  “Bring in the new girls!” Joaquín orders breaking my reverie with his harshness. His voice is stern, but his eyes remain softly set upon Isla. “It’s time!”

  Isla lifts her head, becoming alert for this moment. She gulps and begins to bite her lip with anticipation as the door opens. It’s now my gaze falls away and I turn to look. We watch as eight females are brought in, their hands bound tightly in front of them, woven bags over their identities and my heart stops. My hand immediately goes into my pocket, fingers lacing around the photo. As my heart slowly starts to beat again, I feel my breathing heightening. I try to calm, not wanting to draw any attention to myself. I knew they brought in girls, found them and took them, but watching this isn’t something I’m comfortable with.

  Instead, I turn my attention away from the new girls and straight back at the three strung up before us.

  Isla looks at those eight so sadly and I know she’s cast straight back to when she was brought here. Like a ritual, these girls are taken, abducted from normal life and cast into the underbelly of hell with no preparation. I take a moment to look at all of the girls sitting around, all of them looking on with remembrance, pitying the newest members knowing what is to become of them by nightfall.

  “Take the bags off,” Joaquín orders, retreating back to the man who welcomed the other men and me before we fought to the death. “I want to see them.”

  All at once, the bags are removed to reveal disheveled, tear-streaked faces. Each girl has wide eyes, racing breaths and absolute heart-stopping fear. Their eyes bounce around the room, struggling to take in their newest surroundings while their vision adjusts to the onslaught of bright lighting.

  “Welcome,” Joaquín greets them, stepping in front of them all. “Now, I know you’re wondering what’s going on, well I can tell you right now, I’ve just saved you.”

  That gets my back up.

  They haven’t even lived in this pathetic world yet, and he’s feeding them false truths. I feel the laughter want to cruelly unravel from me, mocking the irony of Joaquín’s words, but I suppress the feeling, reminding myself that I’ll be no good to anyone if I scorn the boss.

  “This life is going to be hard, but you are here for life.” Joaquín’s announcement garners a fresh terror in them, but his speech is spoken so fiercely, so stoically that not one of them takes their attention away from him. “There are no quitters, no places to hide, nor are there places to run. You will obey my men and me and do what we so please!” He starts to grin, giving them a bright gaze. “Now, take a look at the girls around the room, familiarize yourself with your sisters and then look at the girls hanging behind me.”

  One by one the new girls start to gaze around the room, this time not out of surprise, but with the realization that this is it – home.

  Yet as they look upon Isla and the others hung up by their hands, fear reunites with their colliding emotions and they’re left looking at their reality.

  “Meet the disobedient ones,” he announces, stepping forward. “You have Kelly and Chloe on the sides who were caught sneaking food when we were all sleeping. They took advantage of my hospitality and mocked me.” He reaches up, putting his hands around one of the girls faces, pinching down around it. “You’ll go without food for two days.”

  “No, please,” she begs, speaking with difficulty against his grasp.

  “Shut up!” he roars, silencing her. He lets her go, an aura of disgust ab
out him as he moves toward Isla. “This one here,” Joaquín says, pointing at Isla as he approaches. “This is my girl.” He goes over to Isla, ignoring the other two females, and places his arm around her waist, snaking it around her back. Her body swings with ease, the tips of her toes grazing against the floor and I notice the smallest darkening of red on the flooring where the skin has been rubbed raw. “She is proof that no one gets special treatment. You disobey and you will get beaten. Eighteen disobeys a lot, but she comes back stronger than ever,” he looks to Isla, the adoration in his eyes shocks me, confusing me even more over his motives with Isla. “She’s one of a kind. You’ll do good to learn from her when she’s not being an insubordinate little puta,” he turns to face Isla after that. His hand comes up so he can cup her cheek. “I hate I have to do this to you, Princessa,” he tenderly says to her, his hand drawing along his jaw. “You anger me so much sometimes, but never change,” he drops his hand away from her face, breaking their connection. “You keep me feeling young.”

  As he turns away, Isla’s gaze drops to the floor, insentient and detached.

  He approaches the new girls, rubbing his hand together in glee. “Now, what to do with the rest of you?” he asks, preparing to tell them, but he relents. “Sit,” he orders and one by one they all lower themselves to the dirty floor. “Firstly, we have other business to contend with.”

  He starts to pace, deliberately towering over the new female recruits, but on his way back toward me he stops, his eyes narrowing directly on me. I immediately feel a lump form as sweat begins to bead on my forehead.

  “Step forward, Javier. I have the perfect job for you now.”

  “What’s that?” I ask, stepping forward.

  “Javier, I want to elect you as a foot soldier,” Joaquín comments, narrowing his gaze at me. “You’re brutal enough to do the job, so you’ll be teamed with Hector and the girls and take them on the next run. You’ll also help pick men up after deportation. You’ll only have names and a photo to go on, so it’s your job to trust your gut. You will seek out the best and only the best, but for now, I want you overseeing the girls properly on the drug runs.”

  “Okay,” I state, casting a gaze over at Hector, resisting the urge to look at Isla.

  “This time, however, I want to know if my girls get touched in any way.” He stands up, approaching Isla as she remains on the floor. He crouches down, taking her hand and helps her stand up. He walks back to his seat, Isla following him and he turns to face everyone, not relinquishing her hand. “I know they raped Isla between them. I know those filthy animals touched her and threw her around a little. They might be in their care on the other side of the border, but they are in no way their property.” He looks at Santiago. “I want them dead,” he tells his son, his voice uncaring. “And I want my drugs brought back. If any of it has been sold, I want the money returned instead.”

  His second command comes as quickly as his order he delivered to me.

  “I’ll get some men together right away,” Santiago says, honoring his father’s request. “Should be relatively easy, but I’ll need some girls to help.”

  “Any are at your disposal apart from Isla,” Joaquín announces, shocking everyone in the room. “But look at leaving tomorrow, give them hijo de putas some time to revel in what they did,” he turns away from his son, not allowing him a chance to answer. “Girls, I want you rested. It’s been a long night,” Joaquín orders, clearly disbanding the meeting. “Eighteen, you’re on bed rest to get over what it is my son did to you. The next run isn’t until the end of the week, I want you better.”

  He starts to head toward the door, leaving everyone silent and watching on.

  “Cut ‘em down,” Joaquín orders before stalking from the room.

  As men go over to cut the girls down, I rush in, heading straight to Isla as Santiago makes it his mission to cut her down. He’s quick with sawing through the rope, not being careful with Isla as he does so, causing her to swing on the tips of her toes once more. She bites her lip, closing her eyes as she obviously tries to blot away the pain.

  “That’s one perra down,” Santiago sneers, calling Isla a bitch, as the last of the rope gives away.

  I catch her as she falls, her legs unable to hold her weight. I take note of Santiago growling at my actions, but I’m more concerned about Isla. I pull her away from the men, Isla caught safely in my arms. Santiago boring a death glare into the sight of us together.

  “Just because I’m new doesn’t mean I don’t listen,” I react, scooping her up into my arms as Santiago comes at me. “Your father wants her better, so dropping her to the ground won’t help. I’ll take her to the girls’ room.”

  He looks ready to argue, waiting to pick a fight, but he relents quickly.

  “East wing of the house, large double doors. You can’t miss it.”

  I give him a small smile, but don’t verbally thank him for telling me where to take her, and he doesn’t seem too insulted for not getting any gratitude from me. So I take the moment to leave, Isla’s arms now looped around my neck and I cradle her protectively in my arms. I walk the corridors, heading for the stairs to take her upstairs; there’s so much commotion in the house today, I wonder if I’m just getting a real taste of the El Salvador life.

  As I hit the top step, I know I have to break the silence between us.

  “How long were you up there?” I ask as we walk.

  “I don’t remember,” she murmurs softly, her tone so full of exhausted emotion. “I didn’t make it back to the girls’ room after leaving you, so a good couple of hours.”

  “Isla, it’s now eleven AM, you were up there more than a good couple of hours.”

  “That’d explain why I can’t feel my legs,” she murmurs jokingly, jesting tiredly. “Those new girls won’t last.”

  “How can you tell?” I ask, keeping my gaze forward while I cock a brow. “You’ve not met them.”

  “No, but I’ve met girls like them,” she murmurs, letting me in on a few details. “I’m scared for them.”

  “You don’t need to worry about them just yet. Worry about yourself,” I admonish her fear, turning to use my back to open the door. “Which bed?” I ask, taking her into the girl’s dorm, laying her down on the bed by the window after she pointed to it.

  “We’ll take care of her,” one of the girls states, coming out of the bathroom to rush to Isla’s side.

  I start to back away, but Isla grabs onto my hand. “Thank you,” she says smiling at me, even if doing so is a weak motion.

  The house has become incredibly silent.

  There have been no movement or voices since Joaquín brought the new girls in. The men were ordered to go and relax in their rooms, the girls not seen or heard of since getting their orders, but something doesn’t seem right.

  I’ve felt like everyone was on tenterhooks, stepping around Joaquín carefully.

  The silence is broken when I hear shooting and immediately I’m on my feet and running.

  I don’t think twice, I run for the girls’ dorm. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know they’re all holed up in their room with the new girls. I know they’re not expected to leave until the morning, but to me, that makes them easy targets to be found.

  “Javier, stop!” Hector screams after me. I do, listening while my body wants me to run off with my initial plan of action. He runs to me, his eyes wild with panic. “You’ll need this,” he says, pressing a Glock into my hands along with two cartridges. “You see some fucker you don’t know, you fire.”

  “What’s going on?” I ask, looking from the gun to him with equal confusion.

  “Just protect yourself,” he advises and runs back in the direction he came from pulling a gun from his waistband.

  Taking his initiative, I put the gun down the back of my pants, allowing the handle to show enough to make it easy for me to grab and I store the cartridges of ammunition in my jean pockets. I can hear shooting and screaming, but instead of
causing me to run scared, it hastens me to run to Isla.

  I want to say I’m running to the girls to protect them all, but it’s nothing to do with that. It’s all about Isla. She’s been running around in my mind all day since I caught her. I keep thinking about her story, her past, every little detail about her, I’ve imagined it all.

  Without thought, the moment I can, I open the door, rushing in. Isla is quick to stand, putting herself between the girls and me. I push the door to, but don’t close it completely.

  “C’mon,” I say, quickly waving my hand to get them all to move. “We need to move from here now.”

  “They’re safer in here,” Isla argues, showing she’s not moving anywhere.

  “No, you’re not,” I admonish, defying her promptly. “Whatever is going on out there is coming this way, so you’re better off moving now,” I watch her contemplate arguing, her eyes boring into mine. “I am being deadly fucking serious, right now,” I reply, my words becoming harsher. “I’m not prepared to have you stay here like fucking sitting ducks!”

  There’s a tense moment where Isla looks me in the eyes, trying hard to think of a reason to argue with me

  “Okay,” she finally gives in, looking around at the girls. “You can trust him,” she tells them, admitting to them with a smile. “He’s going to help us.”

  I open the door, ushering them out of the room, Isla waits for all of the girls to leave before she follows. I lace my arm around her waist, noticing her movements are still slow. When we make it out of the room, I notice the shooting has gotten louder. I rush her, as much as I can, but I know we’re too late. They’re kicking down doors and shooting blindly, the girls would stand no hope wherever they go. They’re getting closer and there’s too many of us to hide safely, but I can’t fail.

  I allow the girls to continue, stopping Isla.

  “Isla,” I say, taking her hand, wrapping mine around hers, hoping she’ll take note of my urgency. There’s a moment where she stiffens, looking down at my large hand encasing her delicate one before she realizes the situation and settles. “Where can we go?”