He gives me a tight smile, but I can tell from his breathing I’m lying to the both of us. The look he fixes me with tells me this too.
“I... love you, Isla Doug...herty...” he manages through difficult breaths. “You were al...ways one to me. O...ne.”
I laugh, a stilted fit that pains me, but I continue to hold his face, only releasing one hand to stroke his hair, make this moment about him and me, about us, about what we created, what we’re creating.
"You're going t...to live a long an...and happy life... You’re g-going to have i...it all... all outside of this."
His lips pull straight, almost trying to curl at the edges as he attempts a smile for me, but instead I watch pain lance through his expression. I start to shake my head, not allowing him to start offering me parting words with his dying breaths. I won’t allow him to believe he’s dying, not when we’re finally free – just how he granted it.
The tears that betray me, tell me that in the back of my mind, I’ve already accepted fate, even rationality and denial are doing a good job to make me believe otherwise.
“I’m dying,” he says, a somber tone hitting him as he sobers up.
“No,” I say, sniffing hard as tears streak my face.
“I am,” he admits, furrowing his brow at the prospect. “I...I'm bleeding internally,” he tells me, his education coming into play. “There’s damage to my b...back, I’m starting... to lose the feel...ing down my legs. I can feel m...my chest fill...ing with blood, t...too. It’s getting h...harder to b...breathe. I don't have time for h...help to come. You and I both know that."
“You’re wrong,” I tell him, but he fixes me with a look that tells me he knows he isn’t. “You are. You’re wrong.” I grab his face, just as he coughs and blood lines his lips, speckles hitting my cheek. Still the denial is too strong. “It’s not meant to end like this,” I say, sobbing heavily now. “You can’t leave me like this. This wasn’t the plan! I wasn’t meant to love you for a short time, Javier. It wasn’t what my heart had hoped for.”
“R...rather love f...for a little while t...than not at all, right?” he asks, grimaces.
“Don't do this,” I plead, my hands twisting around his clothing. “Don't start to say goodbye to me. Don’t you dare!”
“I w...won’t,” he vows, trying to save me heart break. "I l...love you, Isla," he restates his earlier litany.
And then he's gone.
Just like that, life is lost.
No goodbye – just like he promised.
I fall, my head laying against his chest as I feel the warmth of his blood spreading from under him, smothering my knees and legs.
“Come back to me,” I cry into his chest, striving to hear his heart beat. “Please, Javier, come back to me. I need you. Don’t leave me.”
My entire body shakes as I cave to crippling grief, my heart breaking as I sink against his lifeless body.
Another gunshot rings through and my grip tightens on Javier. I cower against his body, no longer hearing his heart beat how it used to in the midnight hour.
"Police!"
A joyous word resounds, but my grief is far too severe for me to enjoy. Help is here, but it's now too late. I needed them ten minutes earlier when Santiago raised his gun, pointed it at his target and took a well-aimed shot.
"Put your weapon down!"
I move my head, still remaining close to Javier, not wanting him to be alone and see that Joaquín is behind me, gun in hand, eyes maniacally placed on me. Slowly, the gun starts to rise, the barrel pointed at me, but before it can get a direct hit, a gun goes off and Joaquín crumples to the floor in a heap.
It’s over, my soul breathes in relief.
Hands carefully grab me, beginning to pull me away from Javier, but I fight back. I can’t leave him, not now.
“No!” I scream, grabbing Javier’s clothing. “I can’t leave him! Please, no!”
“We’re getting you out of here,” he tells me, a soothing, fatherly tone. “You’re free now,” the officer says, not relenting on his hold. “Let’s get you home.”
Javier’s dreams for me rush into my head, breathing life into my memories, and I weaken. He did what he promised, even if it isn’t all by his hands. He got me free, he created the path to get me home.
He died making it all happen.
As I look to the open doorway, officers rushing in and out, I realize there's a free life outside those doors. One I started to imagine with Javier, but just like I said, we weren't forever. I thought maybe he could change my mind, keep my heart beating how he did.
But he's gone and as I look down at his beautifully still face, so serene and calm, I realize he got his escape and I got mine.
Like all highs, we weren't meant to last.
We were just made to take the pain of our pasts away while we needed it.
And we did.
He did.
He saved me, loved me and mended me.
His death will be a withdrawal I revel in for a lifetime because he did the one thing no man has ever tried...he loved me back to me.
I’m finally just Isla because he loved me enough.
Just how he wanted it.
“I knew this wasn’t forever. Nothing ever is…”
Allana and Victoria
Forever my SBB buddies!
Without you this book wouldn’t have come to life. You are there 24/7 for me – as friends and as a creative ass-kickers! I love you both and never thank you enough for all you have done for me!
Don’t go changing!
Mum
Once again, my biggest supporter. It’s safe to say my writing wouldn’t be what it is without you by side.
You’re more than just mum, you’re my best friend and biggest fan.
Nicola
You binge read this book and really stomped out a lot of my doubts! You are one of the best girls to have by my side as a fellow author and a best friend. Thank you for all you do – between talking about cake and LOLcats!
To Annie, Danielle, Keren, Tracy, Karen, Susan, Lisa – you all took Heroine Hearts, embraced Isla and Javier and got exactly what the point of the book was. Thank you for reading and loving the book even though the ending breaks hearts!
And finally, Leigh – thank you for formatting this! You have saved me ass once again!
Kirsty-Anne Still is a twenty-three year old writer from Kent in the south east of England. Having found a love for writing in 2009, Kirsty dreamt of pursuing her writing. She allowed it to consume her life in the form of wild ideas scrawled onto post-it notes, scraps of papers, whichever surface is first available!
She spends her time with family, friends, working and dreaming about her next best novel idea! Always been a soft touch for romance, Kirsty cannot withhold from having a strong romantic touch to her books, regardless of how dangerous the plot can become!
After being just another Fanfiction writer, Kirsty found the self-belief to step out from writing someone else’s characters and writing her own. Even though A Fire That Burns was an adaptation from a Fanfiction she had written years before, The Viper Series was a trilogy that added to a long line of original work that is yet to be finished – blame it on the overactive imagination!
Writing is a lifeline. She now loves creating a world that others can literally fall into and love as much as she does. She loves having the control to make a whole new world. It’s like a dependency, and an addictive one! As much as she complains, Kirsty does love the mini dialogues that go on in her head, the plotlines that attack her when she least expects them to, and the excitement that comes with a brand-spanking-new idea! The ones that jump to life at the most inappropriate times and drive her totally crazy!!
Find Kirsty on social media:
Facebook: Kirsty-Anne Still
Twitter - @KirstyAnneStill
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Heroine Hearts: Darkness Made These Heroine Hearts Page 30
