The Bad Girl and the Baby (Cutting Loose)

by Nina Croft

  She tried to slide her palm over, but there wasn’t enough space, and she fumbled with her free hand, opening the remaining buttons and giving her the room she needed. She pushed her hand inside his boxers and found him, rock hard and red-hot.

  Matt was perfectly still. Then she squeezed, and his head went back.

  “Christ, Darcy.”

  “I think I owe you an orgasm,” she said, holding his gaze. “And I hate to be in anyone’s debt.” She lowered herself to her knees. This was one of her favorite things about sex; she loved the feeling of being in control. All that masculine strength and power, all hers.

  He was silent as she pushed his jeans and boxers down over his hips. He was beautiful, long and thick, flushed purple at the head, pale at the base where he was nestled in midnight dark curls. She considered him for a moment and heard him groan. She had an idea that this wasn’t going to last long, and that she wasn’t the only one here for whom it had been a while. She knew why in her case—she’d hardly had much option—but why had he been abstaining?

  Now was not the time for thinking.

  She leaned closer, breathing in the warm, musky scent of aroused male. It had been so long, and she almost swayed, her mouth watering.

  She dropped a quick kiss on the tip, tasting his arousal, then licked her tongue from the base to the top, swirling around the swollen head.

  A hand slid into her hair but gripped her gently as she took him in her mouth. She held him for a second without moving, and his fingers tightened. She slid her mouth up and down, as far as she could go. He thrust against her, probably couldn’t help himself, and she wrapped her hand around the base so she wouldn’t choke.

  When she could feel him pumping rhythmically, pushing against her, and she could taste the saltiness on her tongue, she knew he was close. She concentrated on the head, sucking hard. From the tension in his body, he was about to come, and she cupped his balls with one hand, squeezed gently, and he exploded.

  …

  The best fucking feeling ever.

  Each time he thought it was over, she’d squeeze and suck and send him flying again. Finally, he was drained, and she released him. His hand was still in her silky hair, and he loosened his grip as she pulled away. She sat back on her heels, stared up at him, and licked her lips. His dick twitched. He didn’t think he’d take long to recover, and he meant to be buried deep inside her when he came next time.

  He’d even gotten some condoms. All prepared, though he’d not had Darcy in mind when he’d bought them. Really, he hadn’t.

  Her cheeks were flushed, and her nipples pressed against her T-shirt.

  Just this once.

  They reached for each other at the same time, just as the doorbell rang. They both went still.

  “Chinese,” he said.

  “Yeah.” She pushed herself gracefully to her feet and cast him an amused glance. “I’ll get it.” She grabbed her bag from the side and disappeared into the hallway. A moment later, he heard the front door open and the murmur of voices.

  He exhaled and ran a hand through his hair. His pants were around his ankles, and he leaned down and pulled them up, wincing from his still-sensitive dick. He fastened his pants, then patted the back pocket to check the condom was ready and at hand. Some food, a little rest, and then he’d offer to show Darcy the rest of the house. He reached for his wine and swallowed it in one gulp, then sank into his chair as Darcy returned. But she wasn’t bringing him Chinese. A tall figure followed her in—Gary, carrying a bottle of scotch and a six pack of beers.

  “Hi, mate.” He glanced from him to Darcy. “I didn’t know I was interrupting. For some reason, I thought you might be alone and lonely.”

  “You’re not interrupting,” Darcy said. “I was just about to leave.” She turned to Matt. “I’m going clubbing with Regan.”

  Matt thought about the condom in his pocket and had to bite back his roar of denial. He shot a look at Gary, who raised an eyebrow. “We haven’t finished talking yet.”

  “We can talk next time,” she said.

  No!

  But at least there would be a next time. He pushed himself to his feet. “Sit,” he said to Gary. Then he led the way out into the hall, closing the doors behind him.

  “I’m going to pop up and have a last peek at Lulu.”

  He nodded and leaned against the wall to wait.

  “She’s out cold,” she said as she came back, stepping past him. It took a moment to realize she was going to leave. Without any comment on what had just happened.

  “Have you nothing to say?”

  She gave him a shrug. “Fate seems determined to stop us from making a mistake. Thank you, fate.”

  That stung. “Yeah, it was a mistake. Maybe you should remember that next time you offer a desperate guy a blowjob.”

  She scowled. “Hey, mister, I’m not the one who took half my clothes off, then shoved some poor unsuspecting woman’s hand down my pants, and proceeded to get a goddamn boner.”

  “You know how long it’s been since a woman had her hands down my pants—”

  “No, and it’s none of my business.”

  “Maybe, but the answer is a hell of a long time. It would have been more worrying if I hadn’t gotten a boner.”

  “For you maybe,” she muttered.

  “Okay. I agree. In retrospect, maybe the whole striptease thing wasn’t a good idea.” His brain was slowly starting to work again. “But I was showing you my scars. You were the one who grabbed my dick.” He knew the argument was weak, and he blew out his breath. “Look, maybe it’s better we know and can be on guard.”

  “Know what?”

  “Know that it’s safer to keep our hands off each other. I wanted you the first moment I saw you. But we both know this sort of attraction never lasts. It’s sex. Nothing else. We’re as different as two people can be, and while opposites attract—it can’t last. And I don’t want Lulu hurt in the fallout.”

  “Forewarned is forearmed. Next time you start stripping, I’ll run for the hills.”

  “There won’t be a next time. The clothes stay on.”

  “A pity in some ways, but at least we’re even on the orgasms.”

  He could have done without her mentioning that. His dick twitched at the memory.

  “So Diana is moving in. That should give you more freedom.”

  He knew she was changing the subject. And part of him wanted to keep talking about sex. He shook his head and moved his mind to safer channels. “I’m taking on a new role. It will mean quite a lot of traveling, so a live-in nanny is a must. It’s never worked before, but I’m hopeful Diana will be okay.”

  Something occurred to her. “Is this new job dangerous?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe a little.”

  She studied him for a minute, head cocked to one side. “And what happens to Lulu if anything happens to you.”

  “My parents.”

  “In Australia?”

  He nodded.

  “Then we’d better hope that nothing happens to you.”

  And she was gone. He stared at the closed door, then gave a sigh and strode back to the kitchen. Gary had opened a beer and sat down at the table.

  “You look like you just got laid, mate.”

  “Fuck off.” He emptied the bottle of wine into his glass. And took a gulp. The rest of his life was falling into place. He just had to get this inconvenient attraction out of his system and order would be restored.

  “Who’s the new girlfriend? Not your usual nice-girl type.”

  “She’s not my girlfriend. That’s Darcy Butler, Lulu’s aunt.”

  “The violent ex-con with a drug problem?”

  Suddenly he realized he didn’t want his friend thinking bad things about Darcy, and he had no clue why. “Steven lied about her. She’s nothing like that.”

  “Why would he lie?”

  “Because he was an abusive bastard who regularly beat up his wife. He was three times over the drink limit on the ni
ght he crashed his car and killed her.”

  “Bastard. Well, I only met your brother once, and I thought he was an asshole.” He raised his beer and took a deep swallow. “Now Darcy Butler looks like my sort of woman.”

  “Keep your hands off.”

  Gary gave him a speculative look, under which he tried not to flinch, and then grinned. “Interesting. Very interesting.”

  “Fuck off.”

  “But while she’s hot, she’s not for you. Have you asked the divine Diana out yet?”

  “Not yet.” Gary and Angie had both met Lulu’s nanny and they reckoned he should try to move his relationship onto a more personal footing. He was thinking about it, though that was hard with the recent memory of having Darcy’s mouth on him.

  He shook it off. They’d had a narrow escape. Another one.

  “I’ll ask her to the regimental dance next week.”

  “Good, she’s perfect for you.”

  Gary was right. So why didn’t he feel more excited about the prospect?

  He knew the answer—he didn’t want perfect. He wanted Darcy.

  Chapter Ten

  She had to stop thinking that bad things were about to happen as soon as Matt said anything about needing to talk.

  He’d phoned her up that morning and asked if she could meet him for a coffee after he finished for the day. So here she was, at their usual place.

  She’d spent the afternoon training with Sam. She hadn’t agreed to go back on the competition circuit, but he’d convinced her to do an exhibition match. He reckoned she needed some direction in her life, that she was just pissing around. Maybe he was right, but the time away had changed her. And it wasn’t a matter of fitness. She was as fit as she’d ever been, even when she was going for the national championships. Training had been the one thing that kept her sane when she’d been locked up.

  But something had changed during that time.

  She’d always had a core of darkness inside her, one that gave her a competitive edge when she fought. A need to win. Now it was gone, burned away in her rage and grief over what had happened to Emma. She knew it could have gone either way. The darkness could have grown big enough to overwhelm her—for a while, she’d truly thought that might happen, and she’d been ready to embrace it. Thanks to Summer and Regan, that hadn’t happened. They’d brought her back from the brink. Convinced her that life was worth living. Plus, the idea of Lulu had given her something to aim for. She’d told herself that she didn’t want to be a part of Lulu’s life, that she just wanted to make sure her niece was safe and happy.

  But she’d been deluding herself. Lulu was the only family she had left, and that meant more to her than she’d ever believed possible. No way could she walk away now.

  So, she wasn’t sure she wanted to go back on the circuit. But if not, then she needed some focus for her life. The gym worked perfectly without her. She was running some classes, but it wasn’t enough to keep her fully occupied.

  Something had been working away in the back of her mind since she’d come out. She wanted to expand the classes. Do more self-defense training. Maybe work with people like Emma—the ones who’d survived. She could contact the shelters and offer free training. Do something useful with her life.

  She glanced up as Matt crossed the road and headed for the café.

  And right then and there, she had a flashback to the other night. It had been nearly a week, and she’d done her best not to think about it. But—hell—she’d seen his dick. She’d had it in her mouth. What had she been thinking? Still, he’d started the whole thing with his striptease. Her gaze dropped to the bulge in his pants.

  He had a beautiful cock. Sad that she was never going to see it again.

  So stop thinking about it. And stop staring at his groin.

  With a gargantuan effort, she dragged her gaze away and caught the eye of the waiter inside the café.

  The day was warm, so she’d taken one of the tables outside—she still felt the need to be outside as much as possible. When she was sure she could look at Matt again without remembering his dick in her mouth, she turned her attention back to him.

  He looked relaxed. No uniform today, but she remembered reading somewhere that military personnel had been warned not to wear uniforms off base. That reminded her of their conversation—he was putting his life in danger. On a sunny day like this, it seemed hard to contemplate.

  He sat in the seat opposite her, and a waiter appeared immediately. He took Matt’s order—a black coffee—then turned to her.

  “You want anything else, Darcy?”

  “Another coffee, thanks.”

  “They know you here?” Matt said.

  “They get a lot of business from the gym. Makes me popular.” She leaned back and studied him. He did look more relaxed than she had ever seen him. For the first time, she looked at this from his perspective. He’d said he never intended to have a family—Lulu must have completely disrupted his ordered existence. And he’d done the best he could under the circumstances.

  He was watching her in return. Was he remembering the blowjob?

  She cleared her throat. “How’s Lulu?”

  “She’s good. Well, maybe good isn’t the right word. But she seems more relaxed—not quite so many tantrums. She gets on well with Diana.”

  “I’m glad.” Really, she was. Totally glad.

  His lips twitched, and she gritted her teeth. She was so funny. The last thing she needed was for Captain Matt to think she had a crush on him. Because she didn’t. Just because she thought—knew—he had a beautiful cock, that did not mean she had a crush. She’d forget in time. Luckily the waiter arrived with their coffees, and she had a chance to calm her temper. “You said you needed to talk to me?”

  “Actually, I wanted to ask a favor.”

  Her mind searched but came up blank. “You did?”

  “I have this thing tomorrow night.”

  “A thing?”

  “A sort of party—it’s an annual dinner-dance the regiment puts on. I’ve managed to be out of the country for the past few years, so I’ve missed it.”

  “You don’t like parties?”

  “Not my scene. But my commanding officer has made it clear he expects me there.”

  Was he going to ask her to go with him? What the hell would she say? She didn’t do parties, either. And she was hardly the sort of girl to impress his commanding officer. Impress anyone for that matter. And she had nothing to wear. Christ, was she even considering saying yes?

  “We never got around to talking about my job the other night.”

  “We got sidetracked.”

  “A little.” He looked away, and she was pretty sure the memory of the blowjob was rearing its head again.

  He blew out his breath, took a sip of coffee, and then pushed the cup away. “Yeah. Anyway, I’m up for a new posting. It’s something I’ve been working toward, and I want it. But my life’s been a little disorganized recently, and though they’ve said yes in theory, they gave me a month to get everything in order before they make it final.”

  Maybe she could borrow a dress from Summer. She had the sort of stuff that made you look like a good girl, the sort an officer would have on his arm.

  “So I need to impress my boss. He needs to see that things are going smoothly at home. That I can give my all to this new position.”

  “And can you?”

  “I believe so.”

  Or maybe Regan or Summer would come shopping with her. Steer her away from her usual style. Maybe something with long sleeves to hide the tattoos.

  “Anyway,” he continued. “I thought I’d take Diana.”

  All thoughts of shopping ceased as her brain ground to a standstill. “What?”

  “To the party. She’s the sort of woman who’d make a good impression.”

  “Of course she is.” It was a guarantee that the perfect Diana probably had a whole wardrobe full of appropriate dresses and not a single tattoo to cover up.


  He gave her an odd look but pushed on. “The thing is, I could get Gary or Angie to babysit—though last time, they did say never again. But I thought you might like to spend some extra time with Lulu.”

  She took a gulp of coffee to get herself under control. It was some consolation that she was pretty sure he hadn’t even realized she’d thought he was going to ask her. It had probably never occurred to him. She was okay for blowjobs but not to meet his goddamned commanding officer. She didn’t know why this was affecting her so much. She hated goddamn parties and she wasn’t all that fond of Captain Matt. He might have a gorgeous dick—but that was the only part of him she liked.

  She plastered a smile on her face. “Of course. I’d love to babysit.”

  What looked like a relieved smile curved his lips. “Good. You can just stay on after you bring her home. And it’s probably best if you stay the night—the party might go on quite late.”

  “No problem.” It was Saturday night, but it wasn’t as though she had a date. She was tempted to bang her head on the table. God, she’d come so close to totally humiliating herself. Right now, she just had to get away from him, because her reaction had raised a whole load of insecurities that she hadn’t even realized existed. She shoved back her chair. “Look, I’ve got a class in ten minutes, so I have to go. But I’ll see you tomorrow.” She dug into her pocket and tossed some money on the table. Without waiting for him to say anything else, she stood up and walked away.

  She could feel his gaze on her as she crossed the road. Though that was probably just more of her overactive imagination. The same imagination that had just thought Matt was going to ask her to a swanky party.

  Never going to happen.

  …

  She didn’t go through the gym—she’d lied about the class, but she’d needed an excuse to get away—and she also hated that he’d turned her into a liar. Instead, she went down the alley that ran alongside the gym. She pulled her keys from her bag and let herself into the building, then headed up the stairs, pausing at the top. The door to Regan’s office was open. Regan was setting up a security business. She was a jewel thief and an expert safe cracker, and she was hoping people would employ her to find weaknesses in their security systems. Nate, her soon-to-be-husband and an ex-detective, was going to join her in the business, and they’d offer PI services as well. Darcy had offered Regan the office space above the gym, free of charge, while they were still in prison. Regan had taken her up on the offer but insisted on paying rent.