The Patch of Heaven Collection

by Kelly Long

  Lucy Stolis was next, her face pale and strained, her hands clutched in front of her when she began to tell a story she’d written about the class quilt. Lilly nodded at her with a bright smile, and the child’s voice gained confidence.

  “This year’s theme for our class quilt was ‘Trees.’ ” She gestured with one thin arm to the quilt, and the crowd shifted to see it better. “To me, though, this quilt means a lot more than just what it looks like. Yes, it is made of stitches and cloth and color and time, but this year, doing my quilt square helped me feel better about losing my grossmud—I mean, my grandmother who died in the summertime of pneumonia. My grandma taught me how to stitch my first quilt square and always let me climb under the big quilt frame to catch the needles that fell through when the ladies were having a quilting. But my grandmother also loved to be outside. She loved the air and the flowers and the trees.” Here, an audible sniff or two came from the listeners as they remembered Grandmother Stolis. Lucy went on, smiling a little now. “I think my grandmother would have loved my quilt square because I made my tree show its roots, its beginnings. My grandmother was like those roots to me, strong and deep, and the most important part of the tree. By making this quilt, I learned that my grandmother will always be part of me.” Lucy bowed her head to signal that she was finished. There was a long pause before the community began to clap in earnest approval. The bishop blew his nose in a blue hankie and stood up to show his enthusiasm. Others stood to follow suit, not attempting to guard against vanity in the child’s clear-hearted and humble affirmation of her family’s history.

  After that, the rest of the program followed in a blur. The Christmas program was one of the few times that Amish parents did not worry about vanity and made a visible fuss over their children’s performance and progress in school, and this year was no exception. Soon, the last child had finished and Lilly felt she could finally breathe. She rose to face the crowd and was surprised and touched when John Zook brought forward a bouquet of assorted fresh flowers for her from the class.

  The bishop came to stand next to her and said, “I think we’d all like to thank Miss Lapp for the wunderbaar job she’s doing with our children.” He clapped. Lilly flushed as the applause continued from the crowd; the faces outside the windows smiling with good cheer.

  Soon, everyone was jostling for the snacks. Lilly circulated first inside the schoolhouse and then out, all the while trying to keep a casual eye out for Jacob.

  Seth came up to her and caught her hand. “That was great, Lilly. A lot of fun and a lot of hard work on your part, I can imagine. How are your arms?”

  “Ach, fine. Danki.” The truth was, in the rush of the program she’d forgotten all about her scraped arms and even her fear over the events involving her mother that morning. Now she wondered whether she might ask Seth where his brother was without appearing too forward. But Seth seemed to read her mind.

  “I don’t know where he is, Lilly,” he said low. “Honestly. I know he was going to come; the mare started to make progress and Daed’s not here, so they both must have stayed. I’m sorry. The program was wonderful, really.”

  Lilly nodded, touched by the sincerity in his voice and his willingness to apologize for his brother. And his attentiveness provided a balm to her spirits that she couldn’t deny.

  Lilly had just decided to go back into the schoolhouse when the sounds of a horse and buggy, moving fast, came to her. She, and everyone else, glanced at the passing buggy, wondering who had missed the program and who wasn’t even stopping now. Lilly’s heart fell when she recognized Jacob driving and Kate Zook as his passenger. The girl smiled and waved at the crowd, while Jacob stared straight ahead. The Zook farmhouse lay beyond the schoolhouse and he was obviously taking her home. Lilly ignored the murmured speculations around her from the groups of various families and went back inside. She accepted a plate from someone and ate without tasting a thing.

  CHAPTER 17

  Are you out of your mind?” Seth growled as they hunched in the cold between the cover of several buggies.

  Jacob sighed. “Look—the girl’s horse was lame, in distress. What was I supposed to do?”

  “And you’re sure of that. Sure that Kate Zook didn’t plan this just to set another snare for you?”

  Jacob stopped. He tried to think. He’d come out of the lane and hadn’t gone more than a few hundred feet when his sharp eyes caught the glare of a buggy wheel just off the road. He’d pulled over and found Kate Zook standing huddled next to her horse and buggy, stroking the horse’s mane.

  “I don’t think so, Seth. Her horse was obviously in distress. Favoring his right front. He had an abscess. He can’t be pulling a buggy with an abscess.”

  “You could have sent her down to our house. Daed would have seen to the horse.”

  “I did, but I was already so late.”

  “You waited until the last minute with that mare, didn’t you? You could have let Daed take care of her. It’s not like he doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

  Jacob hung his head.

  “You still might have been able to make it. What did you do?”

  “I was waiting for Kate. She had gone inside to warm up.”

  Seth said nothing, just continued to glare at him.

  “I was trying to be nice. I certainly couldn’t let her walk home in this weather. I didn’t know what to do.”

  “Something else, Jacob. Anything else. Do you know how great that performance was by those kids? How long it probably took Lilly to get it ready—and with planning her wedding besides?”

  “I know.”

  “Nee, you don’t. You don’t think, and that’s what’s got you into this mess in the first place. But worse than that, you’re dragging Lilly into it with you too. And she deserves better.”

  “Seth, I’ve seen you go through girls by the dozen.”

  “This isn’t just any girl, Jacob. She’s going to be your wife—your wife—in two days. And you just humiliated her in front of everyone.”

  Jacob had had enough. “All right. I get the point. I’ll go and see her.”

  “And she’ll forgive you, because that’s who she is. Well, bruder, I’ll tell you the truth, you don’t deserve that forgiveness. None of it.” Seth turned and walked off, leaving Jacob struggling to contain his emotions.

  Lilly gave a forlorn tug at the paper chain of red and green, breathing in the silence of the schoolroom now that everyone had gone. She always stayed behind for a few minutes to tidy up the decorations. She found it made the class ready to move on after the turn of the New Year and Second Christmas when the students returned. She tried to concentrate on a clump of dried white paste that had fallen to the floor and bent to scratch it off with her fingernail. Her nose began to run as her eyes welled with tears. There was no denying it; the image of Jacob’s set face and Kate’s triumphant smile had robbed the joy from the afternoon’s program. She had so wanted him to come. And for him to miss the performance because of the awful Kate Zook. She rose and tossed the paste and paper into the waste, remembering that Mrs. Loftus was waiting with her mother. She turned to find her cape, prepared to go home, then recalled that she didn’t have a ride.

  “I missed it. I’m sorry, Lilly.”

  Her breath caught in her chest as she looked up to see Jacob standing in the doorway.

  “Jah, you missed it.” She kept her voice steady and wiped at her cheeks.

  He sighed aloud and closed the door behind him, walking into the room.

  “So, Seth’s a little protective of you. He took me to task for not being here.”

  She shrugged. “It seems to be his nature. He’s caring.”

  “And maybe I’m not?”

  “That isn’t what I meant. Look, Jacob, please just go.” She concentrated on stuffing her satchel with books.

  “Lilly. Kate’s horse went lame. I had to stop and help her. The animal was in pain. I had every intention of being here for you.”

  “It seems like Kat
e Zook has a lot of pressing needs where you’re concerned.”

  “I know that . . . I know she probably arranged to be there, waiting for me.”

  “With a lame horse?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe she’s foolish and selfish enough to drive an animal that way.”

  “To get your attention?”

  He sighed. “I don’t know what to say. I thought I was doing the right thing. The horse needed help either way.”

  “Well, it might have done you better to have helped the horse and let the girl get lame—walking.”

  “I know.” His boot steps echoed in the stillness of the room as he approached her desk.

  “I find that hard to believe. You don’t know how I felt. I was embarrassed and furious—and jealous.”

  “Well, of course you’d feel that way.” His voice was soothing but she was not in the mood to be placated. “I make you a promise, to a special invitation, and then I go gallivanting past with another girl in my buggy—two days before we’re to marry.”

  She lifted her eyes to his. “It’s not my business who rides in your buggy. You don’t owe me anything. We both know this wedding is just a—just a sham. It’s still not too late for you to back out.”

  “I thought we were becoming friends.” His voice was low, questioning, vulnerable.

  For an instant, Lilly almost gave in. She really did want to become his wife. She blew out a breath of frustration. “What do you want me to say, Jacob? That you’re forgiven for rescuing Kate for the second time? Fine, you’re forgiven.”

  She moved to step past him, but he blocked her way with the bulk of his body. She almost ran into his chest and caught the fresh scent that seemed to drift from the skin of his throat. She arched her neck to meet his eyes and found them gold and intense. She took a step back.

  “I didn’t want to help Kate. I told you; she bothers me, like fleas on a dog.” He sounded so glum that the urge to smile at him bubbled up inside of her. She ducked her head, but not before he’d seen her face.

  “Ach, don’t smile, Lilly Lapp. That would mean that you believe me, that you trust me even.” He reached out one large hand and skimmed it along the sleeve of her blouse, past the bandages on her arm, to catch at her hand.

  She stared down at her hand in his. His touch was warm, strong. She struggled to guard her expression, then gave in fully to the smile. “I believe you,” she said, her voice low and quiet.

  He let go of her hand to lift her chin so that she was forced to look up at him once more. She felt nervous and jittery, and she wet her lips as she tried to think of something else to say.

  “Danki for trusting me. And, I am not backing out of our marriage. You’ve got me, Lilly, for all our lives, as Derr Herr allows.” He bent his head and kissed her forehead; a casual, almost brotherly kiss that somehow left her frustrated and tense.

  He stepped back and she watched him look around the classroom. The only thing that remained from the program was the class quilt, strung across the windows.

  “I missed the program. So, give me my own performance, Miss Lapp. Tell me about the quilt. Or you can sing to me. I like ‘Silent Night.’ ”

  “There can be no performance without the children.”

  “Is there anything you can show me?”

  “Well, I’m especially proud of the quilt this year. The students did the top and several of the mothers finished it.”

  He smiled as he stared at the profusion of trees. “Do you remember making a class quilt when we were in school?”

  Lilly tried to concentrate and recollect what square he might have made for a quilt. He laughed when she didn’t speak.

  “Maybe I should ask if you remember me from school.”

  “Jah, of course I do.” She paused, hoping he wouldn’t ask about her thoughts of him then.

  “I bet you thought I was a wild one, a little on the bad side, maybe?”

  She flushed. “Well, understanding what I do now about your reading, I know why you acted out. Besides, Miss Stahley was a bit on in years and was not the most pleasant of teachers.”

  “She was an old bat.”

  “Jacob!” A giggle rose in her throat despite her admonishment. Miss Stahley had been especially hard on him.

  “She kept me out of the class quilt my last year in school. Do you remember that?”

  Lilly lost her smile, appalled at what he’d said. “Nee, how could she do that?”

  He turned from her, still studying the tree quilt. “Ach, I wouldn’t recite what she’d asked, couldn’t really. She threw me out of class when she passed out the quilt squares, then told me later that I didn’t deserve one, that I wasn’t really part of the class.”

  Lilly drew an indignant breath. “That old bat!”

  He laughed, turning back to her. “All things come full circle though, don’t they? Here I am, standing in the same schoolhouse where I once was not welcome, with my own private tutor.”

  Lilly felt a nervous sensation of excitement at his words. She knew then just how much she wanted to teach him to read, to try and heal the old wounds caused by a tormenting teacher.

  “Well, I think our tutoring will have an additional purpose then.”

  He gave her an intense look. “Perhaps it will.”

  “Gut.”

  He seemed at a loss for something to say, then spoke quietly. “I’ll take you home if you’re ready.”

  “All right. Danki.”

  She gathered up the last of her books and then had a sudden inspiration for the primer she’d promised to make him. She decided, with a secret smile, that it would be one he wasn’t likely to forget.

  CHAPTER 18

  D o you want some help?”

  Jacob looked up as Seth lounged in the doorway, his casual pose not matching the emotion in his voice. They hadn’t spoken since the schoolhouse.

  “I’ve got little to pack.”

  Seth sighed.

  Jacob folded a blue shirt, then glanced again at his bruder. They’d never been separated before, not for any length of time. He realized it would be strange and sad to not have his best friend right across the hall, but then, marriage was supposed to be a chance for a new best friend.

  “I’ll miss you,” Jacob admitted.

  “Jah, but we always knew it had to come to this—marriage, I mean. I just didn’t expect you to move away, but I know Mrs. Lapp needs you both.”

  “You’ll marry as well one day soon.”

  Seth frowned. “Who? Which reminds me—I’ve heard it nosed about that I’m a ‘tortured soul’ of sorts, just looking for a fraa.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Somehow I don’t think so.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  They grinned at each other, then Seth’s face took on a more serious expression. “This thing you’re doing tomorrow, the wedding. Lilly seems like the kind of person who expects forever to be a given in a relationship.”

  Jacob straightened his spine.

  “And I don’t?”

  “It’s not that. I just—well, things happen in life. People die. Suppose Sarah was left alone. Then what?”

  It was as if Seth had seen into Jacob’s mind and heart the past few weeks. He shivered—if he knew for certain . . .

  He shook his head as if that would clear his mind, wiping it free of impossible possibilities.

  This time Seth misread him. “It could happen.”

  “Of course it could!” Jacob’s anger at Seth, at Grant, at Sarah for loving Grant—but especially at himself—poured out through his words and into his clenching fists.

  “Then why drag Lilly into this . . . this—”

  “This what?” Jacob demanded, pretending he didn’t know what his brother wanted to say.

  “This ugly thing you’re daring to call a marriage. This thing that uses Lilly. For what? For your own selfishness?”

  Jacob turned away so that Seth wouldn’t see his face blazing with shame.

  “That girl deser
ves more than that.”

  Jacob’s breath came fast and hard. Seconds of charged silence ticked by.

  Then Seth spoke. “You still haven’t answered my question.”

  Jacob turned back to him. “Fine. If Sarah were alone, she’d stay alone—at least as far as I’m concerned as a married man.”

  Seth looked doubtful. “So you’d want to be with Sarah if she were left alone and you weren’t yet married?”

  Jacob took a step round the bed.

  “All right, Seth. What do you want? Do you need me to say that I still love Sarah? I do. Do you want me to tell you that I’m going to put everything I’ve got into this marriage? Jah, I am. Is that good enough for you?”

  “Maybe it’s not good enough for Lilly.”

  Jacob was in front of him in seconds, his voice tight. “Do you think I don’t know that? Do you think it doesn’t matter to me that I can’t get over Sarah? That I can’t give Lilly everything?” His daily rationalization surfaced. “But she knows what she’s getting.”

  “Does she? Really?”

  “She’s willing to build with what there is, what there can be. That takes guts. I respect her for it. The rest will have to come.”

  “And if it never does?”

  Jacob narrowed his eyes, studying his brother. “Why all this worry about Lilly?”

  “She’s going to be my sister-in-law, part of the family.”

  “I know you, Seth. There’s something else. You wanted to knock me one at the school. Why?” Jacob’s head swam as a sudden realization crashed over him. “You care for her, don’t you?”

  Seth’s eyes glowed like blue flame. “Of course I care for . . . my brother’s bride.”

  “You do. That’s what this is about.”

  “You’re narrish, Jacob. I want you to treat her right, that’s all. To realize that what a woman needs is passion as well as kindness. She needs a whole, devoted heart.”

  “I will give her my whole, devoted heart. That’s what the marriage ceremony begins.”

  Seth blew a breath out in disgust. “If you think you can fool her—why, you can’t even fool yourself. You can’t go through the motions of being a husband when it’s another man’s wife that you want.”