Pause.
Lenny, do you think she understands …
He begins to stammer.
What … what … what … we’re getting at? What … we’ve got in mind? Do you think she’s got it clear?
Pause.
I don’t think she’s got it clear.
Pause.
You understand what I mean? Listen, I’ve got a funny idea she’ll do the dirty on us, you want to bet? She’ll use us, she’ll make use of us, I can tell you! I can smell it! You want to bet?
Pause.
She won’t … be adaptable!
He begins to groan, clutches his stick, falls on to his knees by the side of her chair. His body sags. The groaning stops. His body straightens. He looks at her, still kneeling.
I’m not an old man.
Pause.
Do you hear me?
He raises his face to her.
Kiss me.
She continues to touch JOEY’S head, lightly. LENNY stands, watching.
Curtain
TEA PARTY
Tea Party was commissioned by sixteen member countries of the European Broadcasting Union, to be transmitted by all of them under the title. The Largest Theatre in the World. It was first presented by B.B.C. Television on 25 March 1965 with the following cast:
DISSON Leo McKern
WENDY Vivien Merchant
DIANA Jennifer Wright
WILLY Charles Gray
DISLEY John Le Mesurier
LOIS Margaret Denyer
FATHER Frederick Piper
MOTHER Hilda Barry
TOM Peter Bartlett
JOHN Robert Bartlett
Directed by Charles Jarrott
Tea Party and The Basement opened at the Duchess Theatre on 17 September 1970, directed by James Hammerstein and produced by Eddie Kulukundis for Knightsbridge Theatrical Productions Ltd., with the following cast:
TEA PARTY
DISSON Donald Pleasence
WENDY Vivien Merchant
DIANA Gabrielle Drake
WILLY Barry Foster
TOM Robin Angell
JOHN Kevin Chippendale
DISLEY Derek Aylward
LOIS Jill Johnson
FATHER Arthur Hewlett
MOTHER Hilda Bany
THE BASEMENT
LAW Donald Pleasence
STOTT Barry Foster
JANE Stephanie Beacham
TEA PARTY
An electric lift rising to the top floor of an office block. WENDY stands in it.
Corridor.
The lift comes to rest in a broad carpeted corridor, the interior of an office suite. It is well appointed, silent. The walls are papered with Japanese silk. Along the walk in alcoves are set, at various intervals, a selection of individually designed wash basins, water closets and bidets, all lit by hooded spotlights.
WENDY steps out of the lift and walks down the corridor towards a door. She knocks. It opens.
Disson’s office. Morning.
DISSON rising from a large desk. He goes round the desk to meet WENDY and shakes her hand.
DISSON. How do you do, Miss Dodd? Nice of you to come. Please sit down.
DISSON goes back to his seat behind the desk. WENDY sits in a chair at the corner of the desk.
That’s right.
He refers to papers on the desk.
Well now, I’ve had a look at your references. They seem to be excellent. You’ve had quite a bit of experience.
WENDY. Yes, sir.
DISSON. Not in my line, of course. We manufacture sanitary ware … but I suppose you know that?
WENDY. Yes, of course I do, Mr Disson.
DISSON. You’ve heard of us, have you?
WENDY. Oh yes.
WENDY crosses her left leg over her right.
DISSON. Well, do you think you’d be interested in … in this area of work?
WENDY. Oh, certainly, sir, yes, I think I would.
DISSON. We’re the most advanced sanitary engineers in the country. I think I can say that quite confidently.
WENDY. Yes, I believe so.
DISSON. Oh yes. We manufacture more bidets than anyone else in England. (He laughs.) It’s almost by way of being a mission. Cantilever units, hidden cisterns, footpedals, you know, things like that.
WENDY. Footpedals?
DISSON. Instead of a chain or plug. A footpedal.
WENDY. Oh. How marvellous.
DISSON. They’re growing more popular every day and rightly so.
WENDY crosses her right leg over her left.
Well now, this … post is, in fact, that of my personal assistant. Did you understand that? A very private secretary, in fact. And a good deal of responsibility would undoubtedly devolve upon you. Would you … feel yourself capable of discharging it?
WENDY. Once I’d correlated all the fundamental features of the work, sir, I think so, yes.
DISSON. All the fundamental features, yes. Good.
WENDY crosses her left leg over her right.
I see you left your last job quite suddenly.
Pause.
May I ask the reason?
WENDY. Well, it’s … a little embarrassing, sir.
DISSON. Really?
Pause.
Well, I think I should know, don’t you? Come on, you can tell me. What was it?
WENDY straightens her skirt over her knees.
WENDY. Well, it is rather personal, Mr Disson.
DISSON. Yes, but I think I should know, don’t you?
Pause.
WENDY. Well, it’s simply that I couldn’t persuade my chief … to call a halt to his attentions.
DISSON. What? (He consults the papers on the desk.) A firm of this repute? It’s unbelievable.
WENDY. I’m afraid it’s true, sir.
Pause.
DISSON. What sort of attentions?
WENDY. Oh, I don’t …
DISSON. What sort?
Pause.
WENDY. He never stopped touching me, Mr Disson, that’s all.
DISSON. Touching you?
WENDY. Yes.
DISSON. Where? (Quickly.) That must have been very disturbing for you.
WENDY. Well, quite frankly, it is disturbing, to be touched all the time.
DISSON. Do you mean at every opportunity?
WENDY. Yes, sir.
Slight pause.
DISSON. Did you cry?
WENDY. Cry?
DISSON. Did he make you cry?
WENDY. Oh just a little, occasionally, sir.
DISSON. What a monster.
Slight pause.
Well, I do sympathize.
WENDY. Thank you, sir.
DISSON. One would have thought this … tampering, this … interfering … with secretaries was something of the past, a myth, in fact, something that only took place in paperback books. Tch. Tch.
WENDY crosses her right leg over her left.
Anyway, be that as it may, your credentials are excellent and I would say you possessed an active and inquiring intelligence and a pleasing demeanour, two attributes I consider necessary for this post. I’d like you to start immediately.
WENDY. Oh, that’s wonderful. Thank you so much, Mr Disson.
DISSON. Not at all.
They stand. He walks across the room to another desk.
This’ll be your desk.
WENDY. Ah.
DISSON. There are certain personal arrangements I’d like you to check after lunch. I’m … getting married tomorrow.
WENDY. Oh, congratulations.
DISSON. Thanks. Yes, this is quite a good week for me, what with one thing and another.
The telephone rings on his desk.
He crosses and picks it up.
Hullo, Disley. How are you? … What? Oh my goodness, don’t say that.
Disson’s house. Sitting-room. Evening.
DIANA. This is my brother Willy.
DISSON. I’m very glad to meet you.
WILLY. A
nd I you. Congratulations.
DISSON. Thank you.
DIANA (giving him a drink).Here you are, Robert.
DISSON. Thanks. Cheers.
DIANA. Cheers.
WILLY. To tomorrow.
DISSON. Yes.
They drink.
I’m afraid we’ve run into a bit of trouble.
DIANA. Why?
DISSON. I’ve lost my best man.
DIANA. Oh no.
DISSON (to WILLY). My oldest friend. Man called Disley. Gastric flu. Can’t make it tomorrow.
WILLY. Oh dear.
DISSON. He was going to make a speech at the reception – in my honour. A superb speech. I read it. Now he can’t make it.
Pause.
WILLY. Isn’t there anyone else you know?
DISSON. Yes, of course. But not like him … you see. I mean, he was the natural choice.
DIANA. How infuriating.
Pause.
WILLY. Well, look, I can be your best man, if you like.
DIANA. How can you, Willy? You’re giving me away.
WILLY. Oh yes.
DISSON. Oh, the best man’s not important; you can always get a best man – all he’s got to do is stand there; it’s the speech that’s important, the speech in honour of the groom. Who’s going to make the speech?
Pause.
WILLY. Well, I can make the speech, if you like.
DISSON. But how can you make a speech in honour of the groom when you’re making one in honour of the bride?
WILLY. Does that matter?
DIANA. No. Why does it?
DISSON. Yes, but look … I mean, thanks very much … but the fact is … that you don’t know me, do you? I mean we’ve only just met Disley knows me well, that’s the thing, you see. His speech centred around our long-standing friendship. I mean, what he knew of my character …
WILLY. Yes, of course, of course. No, look, all I’m saying is that I’m willing to have a crack at it if there’s no other solution. Willing to come to the aid of the party, as it were.
DIANA. He is a wonderful speaker, Robert.
Wedding reception. Private room. Exclusive restaurant.
DISSON, DIANA, WILLY, DISSON’S PARENTS, DISSON’S SONS, WILLY is speaking.
WILLY. I remember the days my sister and I used to swim together in the lake at Sunderley. The grace of her crawl, even then, as a young girl. I can remember those long summer evenings at Sunderley, my mother and I crossing the lawn towards the terrace and through the great windows hearing my sister play Brahms. The delicacy of her touch. My mother and I would, upon entering the music room, gaze in silence at Diana’s long fingers moving in exquisite motion on the keys. As for our father, our father knew no pleasure keener than watching his daughter at her needlework. A man whose business was the State’s, a man eternally active, his one great solace from the busy world would be to sit for hours on end at a time watching his beloved daughter ply her needle. Diana – my sister – was the dear grace of our household, the flower, the blossom, and the bloom. One can only say to the groom: Groom, your fortune is immeasurable.
Applause. DIANA kisses him.
DISSON shakes his hand warmly.
TOASTMASTER. My lords, reverend gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, pray silence for Mr William Pierrepoint Torrance, who will propose the toast in honour of the groom.
WILLY turns. Applause.
WILLY. I have not known Robert for a long time, in fact I have known him only for a very short time. But in that short time I have found him to be a man of integrity, honesty and humility. After a modest beginning, he has built his business up into one of the proudest and most vigorous in the land. And this – almost alone. Now he has married a girl who equals, if not surpasses, his own austere standards of integrity. He has married my sister, who possesses within her that rare and uncommon attribute known as inner beauty, not to mention the loveliness of her exterior. Par excellence as a woman with a needle, beyond excellence as a woman of taste, discernment, sensibility and imagination. An excellent swimmer who, in all probability, has the beating of her husband in the two hundred metres breast stroke.
Laughter and applause.
WILLY waits for silence.
It is to our parents that she owes her candour, her elegance of mind, her sensibilité. Our parents, who, though gone, have not passed from us, but who are here now on this majestic day, and offer you their welcome, the bride their love, and the groom their congratulations.
Applause. DIANA kisses him.
DISSON shakes his hand warmly.
DISSON. Marvellous.
WILLY. Diana, I want to tell you something.
DIANA. What?
WILLY. You have married a good man. He will make you happy.
DIANA. I know.
DISSON. Wonderful speeches. Wonderful. Listen. What are you doing these days?
WILLY. Nothing much.
TOASTMASTER. My lords …
DISSON (whispering.) How would you like to come in with me for a bit? See how you like it, how you get on. Be my second in command. Office of your own. Plenty of room for initiative.
TOASTMASTER. My lords, reverend gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen –
WILLY. Marvellous idea. I’ll say yes at once.
DISSON. Good.
DIANA kisses DISSON.
DIANA. Darling.
TOASTMASTER. Pray silence for the groom.
DISSON moves forward.
Applause. Silence.
DISSON. This is the happiest day of my life.
Sumptuous hotel room. Italy.
The light is on. The camera rests at the foot of the bed. The characters are not seen. Their voices heard only.
DISSON. Are you happy?
DIANA. Yes.
DISSON. Very happy?
DIANA. Yes.
DISSON. Have you ever been happier? With any other man?
DIANA. Never.
Pause.
DISSON. I make you happy, don’t I? Happier than you’ve ever been … with any other man.
DIANA. Yes. You do.
Pause.
Yes.
Silence.
Disson’s house. Workroom.
DISSON at his workbench. With sandpaper and file he is putting the finishing touches to a home-made model yacht. He completes the job, dusts the yacht, sets it on a shelf and looks at it with satisfaction.
Disson’s house. Breakfast room. Morning.
DISSON and DIANA at the table.
DISSON. Your eyes are shining.
Pause.
They’re shining.
DIANA. Mmmnnn.
DISSON. They’ve been shining for months.
DIANA (smiling). My eyes? Have they?
DISSON. Every morning.
Pause.
I’m glad you didn’t marry that … Jerry … whatever-hisnamewas …
DIANA. Oh, him …
DISSON. Why didn’t you?
DIANA. He was weak.
Pause.
DISSON. I’m not weak.
DIANA. No.
DISSON. Am I?
He takes her hand.
DIANA. You’re strong.
THE TWINS enter the room.
THE TWINS mutter, ‘Morning.’
DIANA and DISSON say ‘Good Morning’.
Silence. THE TWINS sit. DIANA pours tea for them. They butter toast, take marmalade, begin to eat.
Silence.
Would you like eggs?
TOM. No, thanks.
DIANA. John?
Silence.
DISSON. John!
JOHN. What?
DISSON. Don’t say what!
JOHN. What shall I say?
DIANA. Would you like eggs?
Pause.
JOHN. Oh.
Pause.
No, thanks.
The boys giggle and eat. Silence.
JOHN whispers to TOM.
DISSON. What are you saying? Speak up.
JOHN. Nothing.
&
nbsp; DISSON. Do you think I’m deaf?
TOM. I’ve never thought about it.
DISSON. I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to John.
JOHN. Me? Sorry, sir.
DISSON. Now don’t be silly. You’ve never called me sir before. That’s rather a daft way to address your father.
JOHN. Uncle Willy called his father sir. He told me.
DISSON. Yes, but you don’t call me sir! Do you understand?
Willy’s office. Morning.
DISSON leads WILLY in.
DISSON. Here you are, Willy. This’ll be your office. How’d you like it?
WILLY. First rate.
DISSON. These two offices are completely cut off from the rest of the staff. They’re all on the lower floor. Our only contact is by intercom, unless I need to see someone personally, which is rare. Equally, I dislike fraternization between the two offices. We shall meet only by strict arrangement, otherwise we’ll never get any work done. That suit you?
WILLY. Perfectly.
DISSON. There was a man in here, but I got rid of him. DISSON leads WILLY through a communicating door into his own office.
Disson’s office.
On a side table coffee is set for two.
DISSON goes to the table and pours.
DISSON. I think I should explain to you the sort of man I am. I’m a thorough man. I like things to be done and done well. I don’t like dithering. I don’t like indulgence. I don’t like self-doubt. I don’t like fuzziness. I like clarity. Clear intention. Precise execution. Black or white?
WILLY. White, please.
DISSON. But I’ve no patience with conceit and self-regard. A man’s job is to assess his powers coolly and correctly and equally the powers of others. Having done this, he can proceed to establish a balanced and reasonable relationship with his fellows. In my view, living is a matter of active and willing participation. So is work. Sugar?
WILLY. Two, please.
DISSON. Now, dependence isn’t a word I would use lightly, but I will use it and I don’t regard it as a weakness. To understand the meaning of the term dependence is to understand that one’s powers are limited and that to live with others is not only sensible but the only way work can be done and dignity achieved. Nothing is more sterile or lamentable than the man content to live within himself. I’ve always made it my business to be on the most direct possible terms with the members of my staff and the body of my business associates. And by my example opinions are declared freely, without shame or deception. It seems to me essential that we cultivate the ability to operate lucidly upon our problems and therefore be in a position to solve them. That’s why your sister loves me. I don’t play about at the periphery of matters. I go right to the centre. I believe life can be conducted efficiently. I never waste my energies in any kind of timorous expectation. Neither do I ask to be loved. I expect to be given only what I’ve worked for. If you make a plum pudding, what do you do with it? You don’t shove it up on a shelf. You stick a knife into it and eat it. Everything has a function. In other words, if we’re to work together we must appreciate that interdependence is the key word, that it’s your job to understand me and mine to understand you. Agreed?
Harold Pinter Plays 3 Page 7
