Sordid

by Nikki Sloane

  The image was shocking. Even with his eyes closed, he looked like he was in rapture. His pink tongue laved at my breast, then his mouth covered it. My eyes rimmed with red, threatening tears, and in his powerful arms I looked tiny. But my body . . . it responded to him, regardless. I hated it, and hated how I couldn’t stop my response even more.

  He found the button at the top of my skirt and undid it, and the fabric fluttered to a puddle at my feet. My teeth chattered as Luka eased me backward until my back was cold against the wall, and he sank to his knees.

  I couldn’t stop staring at the large mirror over the double sinks in disbelief. I barely recognized myself. My chestnut-colored hair was wild and streamed down past my shoulders, stopping just before the swell of my breasts. His broad back and dark head of hair blocked most of my lower body from view but it registered that he was tugging my panties down.

  Somehow he’d stolen the fight from me.

  There was barely any left once he had my underwear down around my ankles. I leaned against the wall as his palms slid over my legs, slowly working the knee-high socks off too, until I was completely naked. I flattened my hands against the wallpaper, pressing my clammy palms into the smooth paper.

  “Look at me.”

  He said it just loud enough to be heard over the rushing water, and I wondered if the noise had thrown his voice off. It had almost sounded like a request. My gaze reluctantly left the mirror, where everything seemed like it wasn’t quite happening to me, and found him.

  Luka’s jaw was set and his dark eyes were devastating. “Addison. You’re so fucking beautiful.”

  What? I bit down on my lip to keep from saying it out loud. I closed my eyes and my head thudded back against the wall. This was manipulation. Some sort of tactic to keep me swirling off balance.

  I moaned with shock as his warm face nuzzled between my legs, and dug my fingers into his shoulders, trying to drive him back. I didn’t want his invasive kiss there, even if it had felt good last night. Everything had changed since then.

  He ignored my whimper, pressed further, and his wet tongue caressed my sensitive, swollen flesh. I flinched and jolted, but his hands were tight on my hips. Goosebumps pebbled on my skin, not from the cold. The room was warm and humid from the running bath. My knees softened and I slid an inch down the wall, trying not to let his bizarre seduction faze me.

  He moaned, and the fluttering of his tongue picked up intensity. The quaking in my legs worked its way to my core and threatened to collapse me. He’d brought me pain and fear, but I wouldn’t allow him to add pleasure to his list. I popped my eyes open and search for something to distract.

  The tub was getting full. If he stayed kneeling, it’d overflow and could be a big enough distraction to use for escape. He could be lying about there being no other place around. Or maybe I didn’t need to escape. Maybe it was as simple as finding a landline to call for help, even though I had no clue where I was.

  It wasn’t an easy task, pretending to submit to him, but I stepped my feet apart, giving him more room and encouraging him to stay on his knees.

  Luka stopped. He tilted his head and looked up at me with curious surprise. The visual of him on his knees in front of my naked body stopped my breath. How the hell had we gotten here? This had been my fantasy before, and now it made me want to weep.

  He pulled up to his feet so he was looming over me, and brought his mouth, wet with my taste, to mine. The kiss was passionate and desperate from him. What was I supposed to do? Did he expect me to kiss him back? Because it’d be a cold day in hell before that happened. I wanted to distract him, but this I couldn’t play along with. His hands slid up to frame my face, but I broke the kiss. He blinked once and straightened, looking momentarily like he was coming down off of a high.

  “Come on, get in.” He left me there, naked and trembling on the wall. He went to the bath, turned the handles on the tub, and shut off the water.

  I’d never felt more vulnerable or humiliated. My feet refused to work, so he put a hand under my elbow and forced me to step over the edge and put my feet in the water. He guided me down until I was sitting with my knees bent, and I hugged them to my chest. The water was pleasantly warm, but not hot, and I was grateful as I huddled in the bath. The sting against my abused skin would have been worse if it had been hot.

  Luka sat on the edge of the tub, a hand resting casually on his jeans, and watched me with a face that was an emotionless mask. Less than a minute ago he’d kissed me as if he were hungry and wild, and now he looked bored. There was no point trying to figure him out. I hated him. That was all I needed to remember.

  “I need to know your class schedule, and if there are group meetings you’re participating in.”

  I stared blankly at the old scar on my knee from a fall at summer camp when I was ten.

  When he became aware I wasn’t going to answer him, Luka issues an exasperated sigh. “You’re upset, I understand.”

  Holy understatement of the century. But still, outwardly I stayed cold and robotic.

  “But I don’t think you get how this works.” He put his palm on my cheek and forced my gaze onto him. “I can’t let you leave. As long as you’re in my house, it’s my rules. If you don’t do as told, there will be consequences.”

  Is that what had just gone down in the bedroom? Consequences? I shivered, and then steeled my body not to betray me again. I wanted him to believe his words had no effect. To pretend Luka Markovic had no control over me.

  “How hard these next few days are, depends completely on you.” His palm slid away, but I was snagged in his web, unable to drop his gaze. “The more you fight, the worse it will get. Just accept I am in control now. I own everything.” He made a production of sweeping his gaze downward. “Your body. Your time. Even your choices. Those are all mine now, Addison.”

  My eyes burned “No” a thousand times over, and I clenched my teeth so hard I was about to crack my jaw.

  “Your class schedule,” he said again, this time with a demanding edge.

  Instead of answering, I sank down in the tub, dipping my head beneath the surface of the water. It was nice to get away from him. He was saying something, but it was too muffled and distant underwater for me to understand. I stayed under as long as my lungs would allow me, and finally reluctantly resurfaced.

  “—of this, stop being so dramatic.” Annoyance flared in his eyes, and the eyebrow shot up into his dissatisfied arch.

  I pushed the wet hair back from my face and listened to the water sloshing, rather than the rapist looming over me.

  “You’ll tell me your schedule, goddamnit, or I’m going to—”

  I took a deep breath and ducked down under the water once more. I floated in the warm, weightless space and pretended none of what was happening was real.

  A hand latched onto my throat, holding me down, and instantly I panicked. I shouted a stream of bubbles and kicked, flailing in the water, and I clawed at the forearm holding me down. My hands were slippery, and as soon as I got a hold, Luka’s other hand peeled it off. Oh my God! My lungs begged for air and I thrashed wildly.

  I’d just gotten my feet beneath me when Luka splashed into the tub, clothes and all, dropping his full weight on my hips, and locked me down. Oh, fuck! I was dangerously close to drowning. I choked in a mouthful of water the last second before he yanked me up. I gasped and sputtered, coughing out the water.

  “Cut the shit, Addison. I’m not even asking you something hard!”

  I blinked through the water running down my face. Luka looked furious, and his t-shirt was soaked in spots, no doubt from my wild thrashing. His grip stayed tight around my throat and I wrapped both of my hands on his forearm. His free hand grasped the edge of the tub, where his knuckles had gone white, and I had the terrible feeling he’d put me back under again if I didn’t answer him.

  We balanced dangerously on the edge.

  Water rippled back and forth and settled while our gazes were fixated on each othe
r, wordlessly daring the other to keep pushing back. Would he do it? Did that kind of darkness exist in Luka? It wasn’t that I had a death wish, but the adrenaline pumping in my system and what he’d put me through made me reckless.

  I had to know exactly who I was dealing with.

  Wet hair was plastered to my forehead, so I took one of my hands off of him and slowly, calmly, reached up to wipe the strands out of my eyes. Giving him a good, hard look at my defiant glare. That’s right. There’s no answer coming from me.

  “Son of a bitch,” he snarled.

  A shallow breath was all I could suck in before he shoved my head down under the water.

  Chapter

  Eight

  I slapped at Luka’s face, scratched, and tore at his soaking shirt. It was in vain. Real terror exploded through me as the seconds crawled by and he didn’t release his hold. The fingers around my neck were tight and choking. My stupid desire to see how far he’d go was going to come true.

  He’d actually do it. Luka was fully capable of murder.

  My legs kicked at the floor of the tub, desperate to find a hold, and my goal of hurting him shifted to trying to stay alive. I couldn’t think over the roar of my heartbeat in my ears or the overpowering urge to find air.

  This was it. All of my work was for nothing. I’d never get my doctorate, or pick up a scalpel in an operating room, because my life was going to end in a bathtub under his brutal hand.

  Abruptly, I was lifted from the water, but nothing worked. My panicked belief I was going to drown had rendered me too paralyzed to remember how to breathe. He reared back, and the sharp slap of his palm across my cheek was what I needed. The sting forced me to gasp in air and brought me back to full consciousness.

  “Fuck,” he said with enormous relief. He dropped his hold, slid backward, and sat opposite me in the tub, his soaked jeans clinging to his legs as the water sloshed violently around us. His chest lifted and fell quickly, as if breathing hard.

  I coughed, and coughed again, shaking the water from my lungs. My throat burned and my legs ached from thrashing against the marble. In fact, every inch of my body hurt. I curled up into the fetal position to make my body as small as possible. The bath was large but not really built for two, and I didn’t want any part of him touching me.

  There was a thump as he pushed and released the stopper, and water gurgled down the drain. I lay in the corner of the oval tub, shivering and trembling, with my eyes shut tight. Water, or possibly tears, streaked down my face, but I didn’t dare move.

  “Addison.”

  The soft sound of my name in his voice made me flinch. I clutched my arms tighter around my body, and tucked my head. I’d retreat as much as possible.

  It was utterly silent.

  I waited for him to lash out, but he climbed out of the tub. There were sopping noises as he took off his wet clothes and hurled them to the tile floor. A towel was pulled down off a rack, clothes were gathered up, and wet footsteps padded away.

  I stayed in the tub until all the water was gone and my skin turned to ice. There were no sounds from the bedroom. Had he left me? Was this some new sort of game or test?

  The towel I yanked down was thick and soft against my chilled skin, but it didn’t offer comfort. I banded it tight around my shivering body and stared at the floor. He hadn’t just taken his clothes when he’d gone—he’d taken everything of mine except for the plain black panties. I stepped into them and pulled them up.

  Last night he’d cornered me on the stairs and demanded I think of him when I ached between my legs, and today it was impossible not to. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, but how could I get rid of him in my mind, after the last twelve hours? I squeezed the towel through my hair, drying it as best I could, then draped the luxurious fabric under my arms to cover myself, took in a deep breath, and stepped out into the bedroom.

  Luka sat on the same loveseat as he had this morning, only now he wore a new pair of jeans and simple evergreen colored t-shirt. He stood when I came into view, and his heavy, angry gaze was crushing.

  I stared at his feet and watched them approach. I didn’t fight him as he grasped the towel, pulled it away, and made a production of dropping it to the floor. My cheeks burned red. I wasn’t comfortable being naked in front of Avery, and even though this was just my breasts, it was far worse being exposed in front of Luka. I continued to watch his bare feet as he went to and retrieved the wadded dress shirt he’d ripped off of me earlier.

  “Put this on.”

  I took it in my trembling hands and hurried to slip my arms into the sleeves. When I went to do up one of the buttons that hadn’t popped off, his hands closed on mine.

  “It stays open.”

  And his hands remained clasping mine. When I tried to pull back, his grip went firm.

  “Your schedule,” he said.

  I swallowed back the cry in my throat, which was a terrible, painful lump, and finally met his gaze. I’d expected more anger, but there wasn’t any. His eyes were . . . vacant.

  Wait, no. Not vacant. Curious, perhaps. It gave him a clinical look, like he was studying me with unsure, scientific eyes. He let go and immediately moved to cradle my face in his hands.

  “All right. Let’s try a different approach,” he said softly.

  His gentle kiss was the harshest blow he could deliver. His lips sealed over mine, and tried to coerce my participation, but I went rigid under the power of his mouth. He shifted my head, positioning me to a better angle, and attempted the kiss once more. The longer I endured it, the more frantic he became. As if I had issued a challenge and he was determined to meet it.

  Why did it have to be like this? If I gave in, just a fraction of an inch, would I succumb to him as I did last night? With absolutely no effort on my part, the way he kissed me now was dangerous. The sick part of my mind, the one that I’d thought was only tequila-induced, whispered to me in my completely sober state. Give in a little. At this point, what does it matter? He only pushes you when you say no.

  The decision wasn’t made consciously; at least, I didn’t think it was. My lips parted minutely, and Luka answered ten-fold. His tongue claimed my mouth, and his thumbs moved, sweeping over my cheekbones. The intensity of the kiss flared and burned wildly hot. There was a loud intake of breath from him. A sound announcing Luka was pleased I was allowing this to happen.

  But it was all too much.

  Too wrong.

  “No,” I whispered, and jerked back. A single word, which clearly meant nothing to him.

  He paused, lingering close. “So I can get a response out of you after all.” His voice was low and uneven, though, which meant I could draw one from him as well. Was there any comfort in that?

  “I won’t tell anyone,” I said. “I promise.”

  His expression was resigned. “Even if I believed that, which I really don’t, I already told you. I can’t risk it.” He released me and stepped back, and his cold veneer was installed back in place. “I’m going to explain to you how I see this working. Sit down.”

  He didn’t tell me where, so I sat on the edge of the bed, clenching the dress shirt closed. Luka remained standing, and rested a hand on a hip while his other combed through his hair.

  “I’m going to set benchmarks for you,” he said. “Each one you pass earns you a new privilege. The first one is clothes. The next will be leaving this room.” His logical tone was free of emotion. “Eventually, we’ll have enough trust and you can leave the house.”

  Two thoughts stormed into my mind instantly. He’d let me leave? And . . .

  “Trust?” Short, inappropriate laughter burst from me, but then my tone went flat. “You must have a short memory. You just tried to kill me in the bathtub.”

  His eyes narrowed a degree. “No, I knew what I was doing. In fact, I’m trying very hard to avoid your death.”

  I was more confused and disoriented than I’d ever been in my life, and anxiety constricted my vocal cords. “What the h
ell does that mean?”

  His brow furrowed. “Focus. I’ve been up all night reading. Everything said training can take a long time, maybe even months, but I bet you can do it in under a week.”

  “Training?” My heart stumbled. “For what?”

  “Your behavior. I’m going to modify it to suit our arrangement.”

  Like last night, all I could do was parrot back his keywords. “Arrangement?”

  Before he could answer, his cellphone rang. Luka stared at the screen as if considering whether or not to answer. He wasn’t overly expressive, but it was clear he wasn’t happy about who was calling. He put his finger to his lips and gave me a dark glare, warning me to stay quiet, before tapping the screen and pressing it to his ear.

  “Hello?” he said, his tone gruff. He began to pace as the conversation began, and Luka looked visibly agitated. “It was . . . fine. I ran into a situation last night—” He finished a circuit of the room and his gaze froze on me. “No, actually, it had nothing to do with him.”

  It sounded like he was talking about Vasilije. Was this Luka’s father, and was I the situation?

  “It was just a miscommunication between me and a girl. It’s nothing. I’ve handled it.”

  I stared down at the dress shirt wrapped on my body, which had become damp from the ends of my hair dripping on it. This was handled? Rape and water torture were handled for Luka Markovic?

  “It’s not necessary,” he said quickly, and his expression flooded with exasperation. “Okay, fine.”

  He hung up, pocketed the phone, and I was struck by how much older he seemed. He was four, or maybe five years older than I was, physically. But mentally? I felt like we were far apart, and it was shocking. I wasn’t arrogant. I tried to stay humble, but the fact of the matter was I was smart. I was accustomed to being more mature than my peers, even the ones older than I was.