Harvest of Sin

by Jordan Shay

  “It’s ok, Anna. He lived a good life. A long life. He had a woman by his side most of his years, who loved him and the family more than she loved herself. Seven kids. 42 great-grandkids. He had a good life and his wife died ten months ago. He’s dying of a broken heart, Anna. He just wants to be with his wife again.”

  I couldn’t relate. Do people really love like that? Will I ever have a love like that? With Derek? With Caleb? I’d have to run away, to be with Derek. Would Derek, an Englishman, love me as much as Uncle Dave loved his wife? I don’t think I believe anyone can really have that type of love.

  “Anyhow, Uncle Dave told me that after he dies, the farm will be mine. He didn’t have any sons to leave it to. Just had all daughters, and they are on their husbands’ farms.”

  “Hmmm. Lucky you.”

  “Ya, actually, I do feel lucky. I love farming. I’m gonna make a good farmer. A good husband. A good father.” He put his hands on my shoulders and turned me to him.

  I cringed. He was sexy. But...he said husband. That word alone sent shivers down my spine.

  “Anna, do you want me to be your husband?”

  Shit. There’s that fucking “H” word again.

  “My father says you should be my husband.”

  “I asked you, Anna. Do you want me to be your husband?”

  I honestly couldn’t believe he was asking me this. It was expected that he would be my husband. Why would he ask me if I want him to be my husband? Did he really care what my answer would be?

  “Well, I don’t know, Caleb. I hardly know you.” My eyes darted around, looking everywhere but him.

  “Does that mean maybe? Maybe you can get to know me and then tell me if you want me to be your husband.”

  What was I going to say? My father had already arranged that I would marry Caleb. I guess something inside of me thought it was a nice gesture, and to make the situation slightly less awkward, I replied, “Sure.”

  Caleb and I headed back to the house. The soft autumn wind swept across. I caught a whiff of Caleb. Damn, he did smell good. Really good. Clean, but a little musky. Was he wearing some type of cologne? Unheard of in our community. But damn, he smelled delicious.

  That only seemed to remind me of Derek’s scent, and my mind started drifting again...

  The lights twinkling from the house brought me back to the present. We walked into the house. My brothers were off to bed. My father instructed me to get up to bed. Of course, I obeyed. Caleb went and sat on the couch. To talk to my father, I suspect.

  I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and put my soft cotton pajamas on. I climbed into bed, under my soft and warm quilt. My mind raced with thoughts about Derek. And then Caleb. That smell... God, he smelled sexy. That dimple. Then I recalled sucking Derek’s dick in the shed. I’d never done that before. Did he like it? Did I do good? Will I ever get to do it again, with Derek? Or maybe Caleb? Oh my God! I’m all over the place! Sinful! But, I can’t help it.

  The thoughts of each of the men raced through my head. I felt myself getting excited. My lower area started to throb. ‘Stop, Anna. Just stop thinking about them.’ The thoughts kept going and the throbbing in my pussy got more intense.

  I had to touch myself. I just had to. I opened my legs, let my knees fall to the side; they rest gently on my mattress. Slowly, I reached down to my hotspot. It’s wet. I started rubbing my clit in soft circles. It felt good. Not as good as Derek’s tongue on it, but this would have to do.

  I felt my body relax, but the throbbing continued. My fingers navigated around my hot spot, finger-fucking myself, and moving back up to my clit. I started slow, then got a little faster. It felt relaxing.

  I didn’t go in too deep, but as I laid there pleasuring myself, I felt my fingers going deeper. It felt good, real good. My fingers were soon coated with slippery juices, and I was finger fucking myself hard. Fuck. I was trembling, rubbing my clit, feeling myself from the inside, thinking about both men. The thought of one of them, and of both of them, feeling me and fucking me, sent me into orgasm. My belly tightened, I nearly stopped breathing, and this intense wonderful fucking orgasm overtook me. As I drifted off to sleep, I wondered, what does an orgasm with a man feel like. I hoped to find out...soon. Very soon.

  Chapter Three

  “Anna! Anna!” I sat up on my elbows in bed, startled, and wiped my sleepy eyes with one hand. What was that noise? Was I dreaming? Nope. Just Abe. He was knocking on the door like the house was on fire. But then, he always knocks like that. Hell, sometimes he doesn't even knock. I sighed as I swung my feet over the bed. It was hard to be mad at that kid sometimes. He was cute, and probably my favorite sibling. I spent most of his 12 years taking care of him, right alongside Mama, so we have a special bond.

  “Anna!” He wasn’t frantic, but he was getting louder.

  “I’m awake. Come on in!” Abe opened the door slowly and walked in my room. Of course in bare feet.

  “Anna. Mom wants you to take me to the supply store today. Can we go now? Please? I got $10 from the harvest the other day and I want to buy a football. Please Anna?” He had jumped onto the foot of my bed, sitting on his knees, while pleading with me. I had nothing better to do today. I didn’t have to go to work at the furniture store, and thought it would be nice to get out for a bit. I told him I would, and with a pump of his fist, he went running out of the room. I couldn’t help but laugh. Crazy kid. I knew getting out was probably a good idea. I’ve felt so anxious lately, so confused, so...helpless. Like my life was spinning out of my control. I need to keep busy and not let my thoughts take over today.

  After washing up, I chose a blue dress, white apron and black shoes. All of my bonnets are white, so I grabbed one and pulled it over my long golden hair. After I put my hair in a bun, of course.

  Once in the barn, Abe and I grabbed our two horses to hitch up to our buggy. The process takes several minutes, but it’s one I have done, or at least helped with, since I was five or six years old. We’ve had these two horses for several years now, and I was definitely the horse whisperer in my family. I loved them, and they loved me. Ella Mae and Twilight were their names. Names I chose for them when we got them.

  Once we were on the road, I asked Abe if he wanted to drive, and I handed him the reigns. While I consider him my closest sibling, I’m definitely his favorite as well.

  “Thanks Anna!” He smiled so big I thought his ears may fall off, as we drove down our long dirt road, finally making it to the main road, much busier as cars and trucks flew by.

  “I’ll take it from here, kiddo.” I took over. Abe handed over the reigns willingly and sat staring at the people as we approached the town.

  “Anna, I wonder if the English folks like dressing like that?” He saw a group of teenagers standing outside a car parked at a convenient store. “Like, even the girls wear jeans…” His voice trailed off, a mix of disgust at the thought of girls in jeans, and perhaps a touch of envy...or curiosity.

  “They don’t know any different. Just like we don’t know any different.”

  “Oh, I know. It’s just so weird.” He continued to stare as we trotted past.

  I guided Ella and Twilight into the store’s parking lot and headed to the side of the building where the buggy hitches were. Mama had given me a list, and Abe was anxious to get his football. Together, we hitched up the horses. The girls in jeans were long gone in Abe’s mind now, I’m sure. But they weren’t in mine. I wanted a day to wear jeans. What would they feel like? Would I like them?

  We gathered all the items that Mama had asked for, and then headed off to find footballs. There were lots of people in the store today, both English and Amish. I studied the English girls carefully. The way they wore their hair, the clothes they wore, even their shoes and jewelry that they wore. So much variety in what they could wear. How did they decide what to wear everyday? And that makeup. How do they do it? On some of them it looked really pretty. On some it looked a little clown-ish. I wonder what I would look like with
makeup on? Does Derek like girls that wear makeup? Probably, being English and all.

  “I got my football, Anna. We can go!” Abe bounded back holding a brown and white football. “What are you staring at?” He turned to the group of English that I was looking at.

  “Nothing, kiddo. I was just daydreaming about all the stuff I have to do at home. We better get going.”

  We paid the English cashier for our goods (who had pretty eye makeup, not clown-like), loaded the back of the buggy, and headed for home. Once we hit the dirt road, I let Abe take the reigns again. The trip did help get my mind off things, but it also made me think more about the English. And how I now wished so badly I had taken advantage of Rumspringa when I had the chance.

  A few of my friends had run off during Rumspringa. That blessed year when an Amish teen turns 16, when boys, and girls, can join the English for a time to decide if they want to stay Amish, or convert. If they choose English, they are forever shunned from the church. And banned from seeing their family.

  When I was 16, I had no interest in it. The concept baffled me. Why would I ever want to leave my family? My farm? It was my home, and I belonged here. With them.

  I had only one friend that chose not to return to the Amish during Rumspringa. Sabrina. Everyone else came back to their families. But not Sabrina. And no one has heard from her since. At least that I know of. She is shunned from the community. Sometimes I think about her and wonder what she is doing. Or what she looks like now. I feel pangs of hurt for her mother, who must miss her so much. She was my school friend, and sometimes I miss her too.

  I put Ella and Twilight away, rubbing their noses and talking to them as I did so. Abe had run off to the house and disappeared. I sighed.

  “Oh Ella. Whatever am I going to do?” I removed her halter and hung it up on her tack hook outside her stall. “I’ve never been so confused in my life. Derek. Caleb. The English. So many thoughts in my head.” I filled her water bucket and moved over the do the same for Twilight. “I just don't know what I’m doing, girl.”

  “Don’t know what you’re doing about what, sis?” Jeb had just come through the barn doors. I was trying to think of response for him, when I saw Derek follow in behind him. “Derek’s helping with the equipment today. Horses are having a hard time pulling it; so Derek’s gonna take a look.” He turned and smacked Derek in the stomach. “Don’t know why Pops taking a liking to ya, not often we have an Englishman helping on the farm.” He smiled and shook his head.

  The sight of Derek standing there had stopped me in my tracks. I certainly hadn’t expected it.

  Derek was wearing a black and red baseball cap, and tipped the brim to me. He smiled. His green eyes sparkled and I stared. He was in a plain blue tee, a little faded; with jeans and work boots. I thought he couldn’t look sexier.

  “Hey, Anna. Need any help with those horses?” Derek started walking towards me. I still hadn't moved. My fear was probably a complete mix of his stunning good looks, and the fact that he was English and that still terrified me.

  “No, I was just finishing up.” Somehow I found my voice. Fuck. I should have said yes so he would stay.

  Derek moved to shake my hand. “Well, it’s good to see you again.” His hand was soft and enveloped mine completely. He pulled it away slowly. I was still entranced.

  Luckily Jeb didn’t seem to notice. “Over here Derek. This is the plow equipment we use. Needs some refining…” His voice trailed off as Derek approached and they went to the other side of the barn. I ran to the house, nerves had my stomach churning as I let the screen door slam behind me.

  “Anna!” My mother hollered up to me as I bounded up the stairs. “Where’s the fire?” Her favorite expression when one of us was in a hurry.

  I raced to my window and peered outside, keeping my face mostly hidden by curtain. I wanted to see Derek so badly, but I didn’t want him to see me watching him. A few minutes later Derek and Jeb came outside, dragging the plow behind them. I watched as they filed and sharpened, and Derek using tools to fix something on the plow. I could see Derek’s bicep muscles with every move as he rotated the file back and forth. His skin glistened with sweat as he worked. His work had left him extremely muscular. A few times his eyes made their way to our house. I wondered if he was thinking about me.

  Damn, he is sexy. So fucking sexy.

  “Anna. I just wanted to let you know that Caleb will be coming over for dinner tonight. You should clean up.” It was Mama, standing at the door. I turned to face her, but it was clear she interrupted my thoughts. And she knew it.

  “What are you doing over there?” I couldn’t find any words, so she walked over to the window to see what I was staring at.

  She peered out the window and saw Derek working on the plow. “Oh.” Her voice was dull. “Oh, Anna…” She had turned away from the window as if the mere act of looking at him was a sin. But she knew I was watching him.

  “Oh, Anna…” She shook her head and looked at the hardwood floor beneath us. “I will not tell your father about this. Start getting cleaned up. We are having company this evening and I could also use your help in the kitchen.” And with that, she left the room, but I could feel the disappointment in her voice.

  What was even stranger is that I was a little bit excited about seeing Caleb again tonight, despite my current infatuation with Derek outside my window. After all, if Mama and Papa get their way, Caleb will be my future husband. As I was about to turn around and head downstairs, Derek looked up towards my window. He looked right at me and stood up. Even from the distance, I could feel our eyes lock. He smiled. I tried to pretend I didn’t notice, but I couldn't’ help it. I smiled back before I turned around and walked away.

  Life is so confusing sometimes.

  “Anna dear, potatoes need peeling.” Mama was busy kneading some dough for her famous homemade bread at the kitchen counter as I walked in. I grabbed a potato and started peeling. I wasn’t sure what to say, and was still feeling awkward over the incident in my bedroom. But the silence in the air was almost more painful.

  “Mama, what if I don’t think I’m ready to get married?”

  “Of course you are! You are 26! It’s normal to feel nervous honey, but it will be fine. It will be the start of a new, exciting chapter of your life!” Her voice oozed with excitement, and I felt guilty that I couldn’t share in her enthusiasm.

  We continued to prepare dinner, and shortly before six, Mama sent me upstairs to finish getting ‘cleaned up’. I ran up the stairs to get ready for Caleb’s arrival. I changed clothes and resisted the urge to look out my window. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I peeked outside. Nothing. Had Derek left for the day? Should I go check? If I go outside Mama will surely suspect why…unless I could sneak out the door?

  I decided to try just that. Just one glimpse, I told myself. One glimpse of that handsome man that seemed to be so much in control of my every thought.

  Somehow I managed to get outside, using the front door since Mama was still working in the kitchen, which was in the back of the house. I tiptoed, and gently shut the screen door. Once I was off the porch, I took off running.

  As I rounded the shed, heading towards our big barn, I felt arms reach out and grab me. I started to scream, but a hand flew up to my lips. A strong hand. A familiar hand.

  Before I knew it, I was on the ground with a pair of strong arms wrapped around me. I turned my head to see who it was, but I already knew. His hand went to my face and caressed my cheek. I laughed at his act of craziness. He took my bonnet off and set it on the ground next to us. His hand continued to move across my face and then started pushing my blonde hair off of my forehead. I could’ve melted right then and there.

  “My God Anna, you are so beautiful,” I closed my eyes and relished in his voice and his touch.

  “Kiss me.” How I had the courage to say that to him, I’ll never know. “Kiss me,” I said it again, the second time in a stronger voice. My hand wrapped behind his neck and pulled
his face to me.

  He kissed me slowly, gently pressing his lips to mine, and then slowly used his tongue to pry them apart. We lay on the ground, arms intertwined, and passionately kissing for a few minutes. His hand cupped my right breast over my dress, and I moaned. His thumb was rubbing on my nipple, which was slowly becoming hard against his touch. I wanted to touch his cock, but all of a sudden I was nervous to. He must have sensed it.

  “Go ahead,” he whispered. When I didn’t move right away, he took my hand and placed it on his crotch. Even through his jeans I could feel his rock hard cock.

  “Derek,” I muttered between his kisses. “Derek...I can’t do this now…” I wanted to so badly, but I knew Mama was waiting for me.

  “Just one more minute, Anna.”

  Kissing my neck, and his hands navigating to under my dress, I was lost in the moment...again. Fuck. Why can’t I just stay on the straight and narrow? It felt too good to leave. His kisses, his masculine hands rubbing my thighs, rubbing my other areas. Wet. Again.