Harvest of Sin

by Jordan Shay

  “I missed my family.” She shrugged her shoulders. “The thought of never seeing them again was too much. Especially my parents and my little brothers.” She returned to digging, but I thought I saw a faraway look come into her eyes.

  “Well, hello ladies. What’s going on here? A garden party and I wasn’t invited?” Oh dear God, I’d know that sexy voice anywhere.

  “What are you gals doing?” He was standing behind me, but I was terrified to turn around. Certainly I would not be able to resist the urge to do or say something and Heather would know. I couldn’t risk it. Fuck. Why was he standing so close? He was so close, I could smell him.

  “Just cleaning the garden, so it’s ready for planting next spring,” Heather smiled at Derek and quickly lowered her eyes, then looked back up at him slowly. Mother Fucker. Was she flirting with him? I started to feel intense anger boil up inside my belly.

  “Have we met before?” Derek seemed intrigued by Heather now. And I was trying my best not to glare at her. I mean, it wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know I fantasized about fucking this man every day. She didn’t know just a few days ago I had his face buried in my pussy. She didn’t know I gripped his hard cock in my hand and made him explode with pleasure. She didn’t know. It wasn’t right to feel angry at her...yet I did. I felt my face getting hotter as the anger built up.

  “I’m Heather. Anna’s cousin.” She nodded in my direction and played with the shovel in her hands. Not really digging, not really standing still... Oh my God she was definitely flirting.

  “Well, Heather. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Derek.” He thrust out his hand to shake hers. I felt him only inches away from me. She slowly reached out and delicately shook his hand. I noticed their hands lingered on each other for an extra couple of seconds.

  “Geez Heather, why are acting so girly?” I laughed as I said it but the boiling pot of anger in my stomach was still fiercely bubbling inside of me. I was jealous.

  Jealous of what? Her gorgeous face? Her perky bouncing titties? Her youthfulness?

  Heather shot a death glare at me. I started digging again, not sure what else to do. I was still afraid to look at Derek. I was sure all my deepest secrets would have been all over my face for Heather to see if I did.

  After what seemed like forever, but was probably only a few seconds, Derek said he would see us later and started walking towards the barn. I tried not to be obvious, but the way he looked in his jeans...especially from behind. Damn he was sexy.

  “Whoa. He is smokin’ hot!” Heather had watched him walk away too. She shook her head. “Who was he? How do you know him?”

  “He just does some work for my father, that’s all.”

  “How often is he here? I may have to come hang out with you more after all.” Heather tucked a few loose strands of hair under her bonnet and laughed.

  “Because of Derek? Geez Heather. He’s hardly ever here. Like, he’s only been here twice this week. And he’s English. Kind of off-limits for you.”

  “And you too, Anna. I saw the way you watched him walk away.” She laughed again as she said it. I shot her the best angry look I could muster up. “It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone. Plus, I don’t see any harm in just looking. You know, you can look at the menu but you can’t order kind of thing.” She glanced towards the barn and smiled before she started digging again. “That’s a mighty fine menu.” She laughed at her own joke.

  A few minutes later Mama hollered out the front door for me. I knew it was probably time to go help her start prepping dinner since Caleb was coming over.

  “Are you excited?” Heather asked me.

  “Excited about what?” I thought I knew what she was talking about, but I wanted to know what she had heard.

  “About Caleb. He’s really cute Anna. You two will have super-cute kids.” She giggled.

  I sighed. “I don’t know. It’s just weird that I’m kind of expected to marry someone I hardly know.”

  Heather shrugged. “I don’t know. I think it’s exciting.” When I didn’t respond right away, she went on, “He’s a good guy, Anna. Your father said he’s a hard worker and takes real good care of his uncle. I think that’s sweet.”

  “Yeah, it is.” I replied. She was right. Caleb was such a nice guy. It wasn’t fair that I couldn’t feel so crazy passionate about him as I did Derek. Why couldn’t Derek have just been Amish? This would all be so much easier.

  Mama hollered again for me.

  “I gotta go Heather. Do you want to come help until your ride comes for you?”

  “Nah. I’ll just work in the garden until Jeremiah shows up.”

  “Okay. See you later!” I carried my shovel, leaned it up against a tree and then turned to run for the house. Poor Heather might be stuck in the garden for a while as her brother is never on time.

  Mama was in the kitchen putting a pie in our gas oven. “Hey Sweetie, can you finish up that apple pie on the table? Just top it off and then add that crumble topping from that bowl. I’m trying a new recipe.” While it is true that all Amish women bake, my mother truly loves to bake.

  “Anna, how are you feeling with Caleb now that you have spent a couple evenings together?”

  I wasn’t sure how to answer. “Okay, I guess.” I hesitated. “Mama, I’m just not ready to think about marriage yet. Do we have to rush it so much?” It’s so hard sometimes to keep my composure when I feel so upset about something. Mama and Papa know I am their sweet ‘firecracker’ as they call me, but I still don’t dare cuss in front of them.

  “Of course you are Anna! You are beyond ready. At 26, it is time. Plus, you are a great cook and you are wonderful with the children. You will make an excellent wife and mother.” Mama smiled as she said it and put a hand on my shoulder. “You will be fine, Anna. You’ll see. Just keep an open mind. Why don’t you go and call Abe inside. I’d like him to clean up too before company arrives.” She winked at me and I headed for the door to go find that crazy little brother of mine.

  I opened the front door, thinking he would be in the yard, or I’d find him back in the barn with the goats. Maybe even chasing the chickens around.

  Stepping out onto the front porch, I didn’t see him. I cupped my hands around my mouth, preparing to holler for him, when I saw Heather still over by the garden. Only she wasn’t alone.

  Damnit. It’s Derek. What the fuck do they have to talk about?

  I couldn’t believe how close she was standing to him. Both were laughing and acting weird. Definitely flirting. I was astounded by how brave they were, acting like this for anyone to see.

  Derek was watching her intently and Heather was animatedly telling a story. I could see her arms flailing about and her facial expressions were making Derek laugh. I could not believe what I was seeing. I watched them for a little while, unable to move. Anger welled up inside of me once again, and I was seriously pissed. I was pissed that Heather was flirting with the man I wanted. I was pissed that Derek seemed to be flirting back. I was pissed because Heather is so damn beautiful. I was pissed because I’m not even supposed to by thinking of an Englishman like this. I was just plain old fucking pissed.

  “Anna, what is taking so long?” Mama poked her head out of the door. She scared me out of my trance and I jumped. I looked back at her and was about to answer her when I saw her eyes move over to Derek and Heather. Suddenly she stood up taller and a stern look came across her face. “Anna Margaret. Get upstairs and get cleaned up. I will find Abe and I will take care of….of….of this.” She moved to the side so I could enter, and then she went off into the yard while I bounded up the stairs.

  I wasn’t quite sure what happened outside after I ran upstairs, but when I came down, Abe was already changed and sitting at the table, Papa was sitting on the living room rocker and Caleb was sitting on the loveseat. Mama was still puttering around in the kitchen.

  Caleb stood as I entered. “Hi Anna.”

  “Hi Caleb.” I went over to sit next to him. He and my father were disc
ussing the barn raising next weekend at Elliot Byler’s. I pretended to be interested.

  I watched Caleb as he spoke to my father. His eyes glistened. They were a beautiful light grey color, and he had dark eyelashes. The combination was pretty sexy. His hands were strong and sexy, and he kept them folded in front of him as he leaned towards my father. I glanced over at my father, and he smiled at me. He had seen me admiring Caleb, I suppose, and he was happy. I was hoping my mother hadn’t told him about my interest in Derek. I wasn’t even sure what my mother knew, or what she thought she might know. As far as I know, she might just think I have a crush on him. I hope that is all.

  Before long, Mama called us into dinner. They were both interested in learning all they could about Caleb and I sat and listened. After dinner, Papa suggested Caleb and I go for a walk. I agreed. I found myself looking forward to my chats with Caleb. The house had become stuffy and I couldn’t wait to get out for a little while anyway.

  At first, we walked in silence. Neither one of us were quite sure what to say first.

  “Anna, can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure.”

  “Are you reluctant to get married for any certain reason? Or, are you just not that interested in me?” Caleb stopped walking, took my hand into his and looked me right in the eye. There was just a shadow of light behind him coming from the barn.

  “No! It’s not you, Caleb. I just…” My voice trailed off. How do I tell him what the problem is when I’m not quite sure myself? “I just feel like this is all rushed. And I was nervous to meet someone I didn’t know and to be told I was going to marry them. It makes me uncomfortable and uneasy and... scared.”

  He took my other hand and we stood facing each other. I felt ashamed to look him in the eyes, so I looked at the ground.

  “Anna. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. We don’t have to get married or even talk about marriage right now. Let’s just hang out and get to know each other.”

  He was so sweet. I didn’t deserve him. He was too good for me. He let go of one hand, and started heading towards the shed. My heart started racing as I remember what happened there with Derek.

  Once we got to the side of the shed, Caleb turned towards me.

  “Do you mind if I kiss you, Anna?”

  What on earth do you say when someone asks you that? So many thoughts ran through my mind as I contemplated how to answer. But, I didn’t need to worry about what to say.

  Caleb leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. He was gentle and soft, more so that Derek who had a firmer touch. Caleb held me by my elbows and started kissing my forehead and my cheeks. Slowly he made his way to my lips again, and slowly parted them with his tongue. I felt myself succumbing to his touch. My legs began to weaken, and I think Caleb sensed that. He pushed me up against the shed to help me keep my balance. Both of his hands went to my cheeks, and he kissed me with more passion that I ever would have thought possible.

  I moaned quietly. I couldn’t help it.

  “Anna,” he stopped for a second to look at me. “You are so beautiful.”

  Our bodies were pressed against each other when I suddenly could feel his hardness. Just feeling that turned me on and I started to hope for more. I pushed my body into his, so I could feel every inch of him. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and kissed him more fiercely than before. Once I began to nibble on his lips, he pulled back.

  “Anna, slow down.” He leaned away from me, glancing towards the house. His reaction snapped me back to reality.

  What the fuck was I doing? Amish men don’t like aggressive women. I had scared him. Fuck. What if he tells my father? What about Derek? Would he not want me anymore if he knew what I was doing?

  So many thoughts flooded my mind I couldn't take it anymore.

  “I’m sorry Caleb,” I skirted out around him and broke off into a full run towards the house. I had to get away. I felt like my lungs were crashing and I couldn’t breathe.

  “Anna! Wait!” Caleb started off after me, but I had too much of a head start. “It’s okay, Anna! Don’t go!”

  I didn’t hear anything else he had to say as I ran up to my room, taking the stairs two at a time, wondering if Mama would again ask me where the fire was this time.

  Ha. If only she knew. If only she knew.

  I threw myself onto my bed. Face planted right into my pillow. I just wanted to cry, to scream, to explode. What the hell was wrong with me! My brain just felt so confused. Why couldn’t I just conform to be a good Amish lady? Instead I’m jacking off an Englishman, and making out with an Amish man, not to mention showing him how experienced I am in that craft. What a jackass I was.

  My mother slowly opened the door. “Anna? Are you ok?”

  I managed to mumble out some sort of, “I’m fine.”

  “Anna, it will get easier. Being with a man. It gets easier. Don’t let the touch of a man frighten you.”

  What the hell was she talking about? It was me who frightened him. Oh God, if she only knew. Compassion would turn to fury.

  I wanted to be left alone. I needed her to leave.

  “Okay, Mama. I just want to go to bed,”

  “Ok, Anna. Sleep well.” At the sound of the door closing, I rolled over onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. I would need to figure this out.

  You need to get yourself together, Anna Margaret.

  Chapter Six

  The morning brought a new day, and I was thankful for that. It was Saturday and we would be heading to the Byler’s for the barn raising. Mama, me, and the other ladies would spend the morning making pies. Nothing better than the smell of fresh pies! Afterwards we’d take the pies to the Bylers, where we would make lunch for the men folks. The men were already up at the crack dawn, getting organized for the barn raising.

  Once at the Bylers, we set the pies on the picnic table, and headed into the house towards the kitchen. The Bylers had a huge beautiful kitchen. Well most Amish do, but the Byler’s kitchen was especially large, opening up into the living room. Their cabinets were a gorgeous oak. Made from large oak trees from their 40 acres, up the road. The counters and floor were the traditional beige that most Amish had in their kitchens. Their windows were tall, letting in an abundance of sunlight. The curtains, crisp clean white. I’d expected nothing less.

  While most Amish homes are basic, the Byler’s home was a little bit flashy. On a few occasions I’ve heard Aunt Cheryl bitching to Mama about it. Mama is always more respectable, and usually just listens quietly. The Amish community frowns upon gossip, but that doesn’t stop it from happening. Especially from Aunt Cheryl.

  “Anna. Please come and start the noodles.” I snapped out of my trance.

  “Yes ma'am” I got the tall stock pot out, grabbed the homemade chicken stock we made at home the other day, and poured it into the pot. I stood there stirring the stock, watching the liquid swirl in all directions. As the liquid danced around, my mind began to wander to last night with Caleb. Had he regretted agreeing with my father, to eventually marry me. Did I even care? I didn’t want to marry him anyhow. I glanced at the steam that had collected on the tile behind the stove. Without thinking, I raised my finger and traced a heart.

  “Anna. Anna! The pot, it’s steaming. Turn down the heat before you burn yourself,” yelled Mama. Shit.

  “Yes ma'am.” I turned down the heat and kept stirring. I grabbed the egg noodles that Aunt Cheryl had made, and poured them into the pot. Then I turned down the heat just a bit more, so the pot wouldn’t boil over. Mama and other ladies were over near the kitchen table. Close enough so I could hear their conversation.

  “I don’t know. She’s all over the place lately.” I heard my mother reply to Martha, neighbor lady down the road.

  Were they talking about me? What was Martha asking my mother, and why the hell was it any of her business? Nosey bitch.

  Then I heard Martha say, “Well you’re just going to have to be more forceful with her. Lay down the law. She’s just gotta marr
y that boy. She’s nearly an old spinster.”

  Spinster? Who in the hell did she think she was? Did she realize I was only six feet away from her? I felt anger boiling up inside and I clenched the wooden spoon in my hand tightly. I tried to hold my tongue. But I couldn’t. Of course I couldn’t.

  “Oh, Martha?”

  “Yes, Anna?”

  “I heard your boy, Jimmy, was caught drinking the forbidden, behind the church. Has he been forgiven for that awful, awful sin?”

  My mother’s eyes grew as big as softballs. The other women gasped. Yep, I’d done it. I’d done it again. Opened my mouth and embarrassed my mother. But, I beat that nasty Martha at her own game. She deserved it anyhow.

  “Um. Oh. That? No, he wasn’t drinking. It was just one big mistake. That’s all, Anna. A mistake,” she stumbled over her words nervously. “Now get back to watching those noodles, girl.”