Harvest of Sin

by Jordan Shay

  Anger was boiling up inside of me. How fucking dare these two talk about me like I am a child? And who gave Caleb the right to decide what’s best for me? I couldn’t take it any longer and I barged in.

  “That’s enough, Caleb. I am not a child. I can make my own decisions. And you badgering Derek is not helping anyone’s situation.”

  “Anna. You know I’m right. Have you thought this out? You’re going to give up your family, your life, for…for…this Englishman?” He pointed towards Derek. “Huge mistake, Anna. You are making a huge mistake.”

  “Get the fuck out of here, Caleb.” He didn't move. “I said get the fuck outta here. NOW. Derek and I will find a way out today. We don’t need your help anymore. Not with the kind of help you are giving.” Caleb looked hurt, but he picked up his hat and walked out. I heard the door and Derek and I just looked at each other.

  “You shouldn’t have done that, Anna.” Derek’s head fell back on the pillows, his hands raised to his forehead.

  “Well he pisses me off. Everything he said. He has no right.” I was pacing in the room. What in the hell will we do now? Shit. I just kicked out the only one who can help us. The only one who has been helping us all along.

  I was so mad I stomped my foot and growled. Derek laughed.

  “What are you laughing about?” My clenched fists at my side, and I could feel my face getting hotter and hotter.

  “You’re just so damn sexy when you are pissed,” he laughed again. “I can see why Caleb wants you so bad.”

  “Caleb does not want me.”

  “Oh yeah, he does. I watch him. He undressed you with his eyes. He stares at your ass. He stares at your tits. Oh yeah. That man wants you, Anna. No doubt.”

  I stomped my foot again. “This is so frustrating! What am I going to do? What are we going to do?” I was not going to feed in the Caleb wanting me discussion. Not now. Not with Derek.

  “I’ll tell you what you are going to do. Run out there and stop him. Tell him you are sorry. Tell him you are stressed over the situation and you overreacted.” I stared at Derek in disbelief. Plus, I hated apologizing. Fuck.

  “We need him, Anna. And he is a good guy. He is just worried about you. He has a reason to be. He might not call the shots here, with us that is, but he is allowed to worry.” He paused. I didn’t say anything. “I’m sure your father showing up this morning scared him a little. Plus, if the roles were reversed, I would have said the same things.”

  I was starting to calm down. I knew he was right. And I was just being a hothead. Damnit.

  “Go get him, Anna.”

  I spun on my heels and ran for door, hoping I was in time to stop him. Once I was outside, my heart sank. No Caleb. No buggy. I was too late. My shoulders slumped as I tried to figure what to do next. Then, in the distance, I heard it. The buggy! It was still heading down the gravel driveway. I took off in a full sprint, praying I would be fast enough to catch him.

  Panting and out of breath, the buggy finally came into view. “Caleb! Stop! Caleb”. I kept running. The buggy didn’t stop.

  “Caleb!” I screamed as loud as I could. I saw the horses pull back a little and I knew Caleb had heard me.

  As I reached the side of the buggy, I was out of breath. Caleb looked down at me, his face showing no expression. No emotion. My heart hurt at the sight of the usually smiling Caleb sitting there, frowning. Did I cause this? I knew I had.

  It felt like an eternity standing there in silence. I mustered up everything I had in me.

  “I’m sorry, Caleb. I’m so sorry.” Suddenly there were tears in my eyes, and I wasn’t even sure why. The stress? The agony? The future? I wasn’t sure, but I hated crying in front of people.

  I put my hands over my eyes, and then I felt his arms around me. He was out of the buggy, standing in front of me, holding me as I cried. The floodgates opened and I couldn’t stop. Caleb didn’t say a word, he just held me. He ran his hand down my hair, which now fell loose over my shoulders. “Shhh. It’s okay Anna. It will be okay.” His arms were strong and warm, and I started to collapse in them. I was vaguely aware of him carrying me into the buggy and him turning the horses around and going back to the cabin.

  Caleb carried me inside, and I heard Derek’s voice.

  “Oh my God, what happened?”

  “Nothing. She’s okay. She just had a little breakdown. She will be fine. I’m going to lay her in bed next to you, okay?”

  “Yeah, sure. Of course.”

  I felt my body sink into the soft bed, and a warm soft comforter was pulled over me.

  “Derek,” Caleb’s voice filled the room. “I’m going to go now. I’ll be back later. We can forget this happened. We are all stressed and anxious. I’m sorry if I was out of line. I need to find out what’s going on with Anna’s family. I’m sure the whole town is looking for her. I’m going to try and get an update on Abe for her too.”

  Then I heard nothing but silence.

  When I awoke, the light through the window had dimmed and I knew it was almost dark. I had no idea what time it was, and I bolted straight up in bed.

  “Hey baby.” Derek’s smiling face was inches from mine. His hand reached up to caress my face. “Feeling better?”

  “What happened? I mean, why…how…” I didn’t even know what I was trying to say.

  “You had a little breakdown, babe. An anxiety attack. Considering the circumstances, I’m surprised you hadn’t broke down earlier than when you did.” His lips found mine and kissed them, very gently. As if I was fragile.

  “Oh.” My mind was starting to put together the day’s events. Derek’s injury. Our sexual foreplay in the bedroom. Caleb seeing my tits. The conversation between Caleb and Derek. The argument between Caleb and I. And even me running after Caleb. What a fucking day.

  My stomach rumbled and I realized I was starving. “I’ll go make us something to eat.” I started to swing my legs out of bed, but Derek grabbed me.

  “I have an appetizer for you.” He smiled that mischievous smile and even in the twilight his green eyes sparkled. He moved my hand under the blanket and pressed it right on top of his already exposed cock. Standing tall and ready for business.

  “Derek, you’re still hurt. Are you sure you’re up for this?”

  He motioned for me to continue. I rubbed my hand up and down slowly on his rod, and he laid his head back. Pulling the covers back, I saw his large and throbbing member jutting right out of his zipper. “Take your pants off,” I whispered in his ear, and just like a guy who was about to be ravished by a woman, he obeyed.

  I tugged and caressed and played with his cock for a minute or two while he laid back and moaned in pleasure. Even after several times now, I was still shocked at how big it was. As I played with it, it seemed to grow bigger and harder. I took the massive cock and slid my mouth right over the top of it.

  “That’s it, Anna. Make love to me with your mouth.” He gently pushed down on my head and I took as much of it has I could. With every movement down, my gag reflex kicked in. I hadn’t seen many cocks in my life, or any actually, but this had to be one of the biggest ones ever in the history of mankind.

  I sucked and slurped and took it as deep as I could. My right hand held the base, and my left hand fondling his balls gently.

  “Anna, you are the fucking best…” He was lying perfectly flat, and his hips started arching up. I knew he was almost there. I got on my hands and knees and sucked feverishly. Suddenly, I wanted every inch of his cock and I took it with all that I had in me. I felt Derek’s hand slide under my dress as he stuck a finger in my pussy from behind. The immediate pleasure sensation made my breath catch for a couple seconds. When I recovered, I sucked even more hungrily. .

  My pussy was wet with pleasure, and I heard the suctioning sound every time he pressed his finger into me. He found my g-spot and went to town. I ravished his dick like I had never done before; slurping and moaning the whole time.

  My clit ached with pleasure, and wa
s begging for more.

  Derek’s body riveted upward and his cock started throbbing. Hard. I felt his whole body tense up from head to toe.

  “I’m ready, Anna. I’m going to cum.” He lurched his body one more time, and I pulled my mouth off just in time. Cum squirted in the air and landed all over his legs. “Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.” He just kept saying over and over while he lay there shuddering in bed. “God damn, Anna. You give one hell of a blow job for a virgin. Are you sure…” I sat up and playfully hit him with the pillow. He laughed.

  After a few minutes of basking in the pleasure filled foreplay we had for the second time that day, I knew I needed to get us cleaned up and fed before Caleb arrived.

  I cleaned myself up in the bathroom, and helped Derek clean up with the limited supplies we had. Then, I made some simple mayonnaise and bologna sandwiches for us to eat. It wasn’t much, but it’s really all we needed. After, Derek fell peacefully back to sleep, and I decided to go sit in the living room.

  My mind wandered with so many thoughts. The thought of Caleb made my chest heavy as I knew he would be bringing some updates about my family. My mind wandered to my parents. To Abe. Even to Heather. What were they all thinking? Did they know? Was Aunt Cheryl bitching about me? Probably. Would I ever eat one of Aunt Lela’s pies again? Probably not. Would the little cousins miss me?

  I dreaded Caleb’s arrival with any news as much as I felt anxious for it. The conflicting feelings were wreaking havoc in my brain. An inner-war that I was fighting with only myself. It was exhausting.

  Darkness had fallen outside; the cabin had succumbed to it. I couldn’t see a thing. I wandered around and lit some oil lamps.

  I glanced out the window for any sign of buggy lights, but it was just the eerie blackness of the night. I knew pretty soon lights would be shining down that long gravel driveway.

  I had no idea what to expect. And that terrified me.

  Sitting by the rocking chair by the fireplace, my thoughts continued to race. Finally, the door crept open. I hadn’t even heard the buggy or seen the lights. But, Caleb was here.

  “Hi Anna. It’s chilly tonight.” He shivered as he shut the door behind him. I brought some groceries to get you both through. Brought you some towels and soap, too. Let me start a fire and we can talk. It’s cold in here too.”

  “I guess so.” To be honest, I hadn’t really noticed.

  Caleb put the groceries in the kitchen and made his way over to the fireplace to start the fire. He worked methodically, starting with the little twigs, some newspaper, and then some larger logs. He was skilled. Even my papa couldn’t build a fire that quickly.

  “How’s he doing?”

  I answered, “Good. Quite a bit of energy today considering what he went through last night. If he’s not yelling for us, he must have fallen back asleep.”

  “Good.”

  “Did you find out anything, Caleb? About my family? About Mr. Johnny? Anything?”

  “Yes. I did, Anna. Your family is worried sick about you. I went to your home and told your papa that I was sorry to have missed him when he stopped by my house. Your mama and papa asked me a million questions. I lied Anna. Forgive me Father, I did lie. I told them I dropped you off there last night. But I didn’t watch you go into the house. I suggested maybe you just were stressed about a possible marriage, about life. Maybe you needed some space. Your mama looked worried, but I think she understood. Your Pa was angry. Very angry. I told them if I ran into you, I’d let them know. But I won’t Anna, I promise.”

  “Wow. Thank you, Caleb. Any word on Abe?”

  “Anna, he is home. Abe is home and misses you so. He kept asking your mama when you would return home. Hurt my heart to see the little fella like that.”

  My heart sank. What have I done? Poor Abe. My poor sweet Abe.

  “He’s resilient. He’s a kid. Abe will be okay, Anna.”

  “What about last night? Mr. Johnny? Anybody say anything?”

  “No. Unfortunately. I heard nothing around town. Usually don’t hear about that stuff, Anna. That’s like the underground cavalry or something. Nothing you want to mess with.”

  “Yeah. I suppose you are right. Caleb, do you think I went too far?”

  “I don’t know, Anna. It depends on what you’re really after. If Derek is the one for you, then no. You did not go too far. You went after love. And true love, Anna, that’s a hard thing to find.”

  “I feel like I love Derek. But, how do I know if it’s true love?”

  “Anna, it’s that feeling you get, deep down inside. Like you can’t live without that person. It’s indescribable...at least that’s what people say.”

  “I feel so confused. My head feels like it is going to explode.”

  Caleb walked over behind my rocking chair and put his large hands on my shoulders.

  “Anna, would it help if I rubbed your shoulders a bit?”

  “Sure, Caleb. That would be nice. Thank you.” My head leaned back and I closed eyes. The stress was taking its toll on me.

  His touch helped. Caleb had these masculine hands but a very gentle and soft touch. A touch unlike Derek’s. His thumbs dug into the back of my neck and shoulders, finding knots I didn’t even knew I had. Gently, he rubbed his thumbs against those knots until they were gone. My body grew relaxed, and I could feel the tension leave. Caleb had a touch that I was surprised to experience. For a slight second, I wondered, what if I would have given him a chance?

  “Anna, what are your plans? Are you going to stay or leave with Derek? If you stay, you will have to make it clear to the community that nothing exists between you and Derek. If Mr. Johnny knows, there are others who know by now. It may be speculation in their eyes, but you will have to get rid of the rumors. If you go, you will never be able to return. Ever.”

  I just sat there. Staring into the fire, watching the flickering flames. This was so unfair. I knew the Amish rules. I just didn’t agree with them. If I left now, I would never see Abe again. How fair is that to him? I’m selfish. Purely selfish. I discovered the glorifying feeling it felt to be with an Englishman, and now I felt addicted. Addicted to his sexual desire. Addicted to partaking in acts that are forbidden. But I couldn’t help it. I enjoyed it all. I mean I really enjoyed it all. And I wanted more. Shit. What was wrong with me? Maybe I should have just ignored Derek. Maybe I should have said I’d marry Caleb. Maybe Caleb and I would have gotten married, had a normal Amish life, and maybe, just maybe, we would have been having wonderful addictive sex.

  “Anna? Anna? Are you ok?” asked Caleb.

  “What? Oh. Ya, I’m fine. My mind never stops, Caleb. There is no easy answer here. I wish I could have just conformed. But my inner soul doesn’t feel right with it. I want to explore the world. Go places, see things, test my boundaries, or don’t have any boundaries at all. Have you ever had those thoughts, Caleb?”

  Caleb stopped rubbing my shoulders and sat in the chair next to me. “Well, I don’t know Anna. My sister definitely had those thoughts. I saw what she went through, and I thought...well, I thought that maybe it just wasn’t worth it to leave…I guess that’s why I have always stayed.”

  Caleb looked into my eyes and continued, “...but I guess I never had anything that was worth leaving for...until maybe lately. So to answer your question Anna, it wasn’t until recently that I ever thought about leaving.”

  What was he saying? I have the man I’m fucking, upstairs. And he is telling me recently he found something that might be worth leaving the Amish community for? Is this a joke? He will help me leave with Derek, but this is how he really feels? I can’t worry about this now. Derek needs me. And I need to figure out my life.

  “Caleb, you should go. It’s getting late. Thanks for everything you brought. Will you be back tomorrow?”

  Disappointed in my response, Caleb says, “Yes, I’ll return tomorrow. But not until late evening. At that point, you need to decide if you will stay or go. I can’t hide you out here beyond tomorrow night. Ok
ay?”

  “Okay.” I nodded and dropped my eyes to the floor. It was almost decision time. No matter how much I wanted to stop the clock, time just kept ticking away.

  Caleb headed out. I peered through the window and watched him walk away into the night. My heart had been through ups and downs in the past few days. It felt tired. It felt sad watching Caleb leaving. Maybe I was just tired. Maybe I felt guilty that I would be forever indebted to Caleb for his unselfish generosity. I headed up to the bed, and laid next to Derek. He put his arm around me, and I drifted off to sleep and willed the dreams to stay away.

  Chapter Eleven

  Derek and I overslept. The sun was beaming through the window and I could see it was high in the sky. It had to be late morning. I was slightly alarmed that we needed to get up, but my body was so tired.