Finding Honor (The Searchers Book 1)

by Ripley Proserpina

  “How will this work with my school schedule? Wouldn’t you expect my priority to be you?”

  Dr. Murray leaned back, giving her the sense he enjoyed hearing her say he would be her first responsibility. “I’m available at all hours, Nora, but this will impact what classes you can take. There is no time limit on getting your degree. If you choose a major and one class is offered at a time conflicting with when I need you, you can take it the next year. So, yes, I would expect since my study is allowing you to take classes, you’d put it before those classes.”

  She rubbed her forehead. Her exhaustion was catching up to her, but still… “Okay.”

  “Okay?” he asked.

  “Yes.” She gave him a tired smile. “Okay.”

  “Fantastic!” He reached forward and patted her leg before going over to his desk and pulling out a paper. “This is the contract. Please read, sign, and date. While you do that, I’ll shoot an email to the Registrar and call Student Housing. You should be set to move in by this afternoon. You have a rental? I can get you a U-Haul, or a van if you need to move stuff. I can even rent a storage locker if need be.”

  Shaking her head, she tried to concentrate on the words in the contract and not the nervous churning in her stomach. “I have everything already.”

  “Everything?”

  Nora lifted her head when she heard the disbelief in his voice. He was staring at her backpack and purse. “Yes,” she answered, gaining his undivided attention. “Everything.”

  Two lines bracketed his mouth as he frowned. He seemed to be waiting for an explanation, and for the first time, she realized she’d have to give one. If she did this, she wouldn’t be able to answer questions in her own time. She wouldn’t get to trust him first and slowly share her past. He’d ask a question, and she’d have signed away her right to say, “Pass.”

  “Finish up,” he told her. “I’ll get things moving.” He redirected his attention. “Tyler. You have an interview in ten, why don’t you head downstairs.”

  “Yes, Sir. See you, Nora.” He saluted them both and left, closing the door behind him.

  She finished reading the contract, went back to the top and read it again. A hand holding a pen appeared in her line of sight. She reached for it, lifting her gaze to meet Dr. Murray’s.

  “This is a good choice, Nora.” He attempted to alleviate her worry. “A step in the right direction.”

  Resolved, she took the pen, and signed her name before offering both the pen and the contract to him.

  “Thank you, Nora.” he told her. “Do you want to wait here while I make those calls, or do you want to go outside?”

  She followed his gaze out the window. It was turning into a sunny day and she needed some air. She forced a smile and stood. “Thanks. I will,” she said.

  “Stay out front,” he told her, picking up the phone on his desk and beginning to dial. “I’ll find you there.”

  She nodded, watching him prop the phone between his shoulder and ear and hold out his hand. She took it, and he squeezed. “I’m happy to be working with you, Nora.”

  “Thank you for the opportunity, Dr. Murray.”

  “Vivian? Yes. I have another subject. Hold on a sec.” He put his hand over the mouthpiece. “It’s Daniel.”

  Feeling uncomfortable, she repeated anyway, “Thanks, Daniel.”

  He smiled broadly and went back to the phone. “Vivian, sorry. Yes. Female.”

  She grasped the doorknob, and began to pull the door open when a photo on the wall caught her attention. She’d been dismissed, but the image made her freeze. It was Reid, Dr. Murray, and a number of men she didn’t recognize. They weren’t standing around at a university mixer. They were in desert fatigues, the scenery brown and rocky, and each of them, save Reid, held a weapon.

  She forced her body to move, pull the door open, and walk through. She’d ask Dr. Murray about the photo later, because right now, she needed to breathe.

  thirty-two

  Blue Sky

  Nora found her way back to the stairs, her stomach and her head at war with each other. Generally, she listened to her stomach. It was where her anxiety began, and was a sort of alarm system telling her when something was amiss. One of her foster mothers had called it her “little voice.” It was the thing she needed to listen to in order to survive.

  Only a few times had she not listened to her stomach. The first time was accepting a ride from her mother’s boyfriend, and the second was holding onto her mother’s purse for her. Both times Nora had ended up in state custody, which in hindsight was a better place to be than in either one of those situations, but still.

  Ahead of her, she heard slow steady footsteps coming up the stairwell. She hitched her backpack a bit higher and continued downstairs carefully. It was narrow, and she didn’t want to smack anyone with her overstuffed backpack.

  As she turned onto a landing between floors she came face-to-face with a girl her age. She sucked in a surprised breath before stopping short. Without conscious thought, she looked at the floor, and then forced her embarrassed gaze back to the girl's. She was tall, with long, shining dark hair.

  Her face, while beautiful, was grey, and when she turned, meeting Nora face-to-face, she saw the left side sagged, drooping from her eyelid to the side of her mouth. She was horrified at herself, mortified for the girl’s sake. She opened her mouth to apologize, but the girl swept past her, not sparing her a glance. She watched her for a moment until she heard one of the doors on the floor above her open and shut.

  It took her a moment to continue downstairs, but as she did, she heard the rapid smack of footsteps headed toward her. Person after person dashed in her direction. She heard low anxious voices, and for a moment, she wondered, and hoped, it was the guys.

  But the only person she knew sprinting up the steps was Tyler.

  “Did you see a girl come this way?” he asked her, panting. The two men with him continued racing upstairs. Distracted, she watched them until he grabbed her arm, giving her a little shake. “Did you?”

  She nodded. “A few moments ago. Is she okay?”

  He shook his head, his face pale. “No,” he said before taking off.

  “Let’s go!” someone yelled from above them. The door opened and shut. She heard a creak, and the door on her floor cracked open. It was the same girl, but her face was wild. “Are they gone?” She lurched forward, grabbing Nora’s shoulders, her fingers digging into her skin. She’d lost the dreamy, other worldliness she had before. Now she was frenetic, a live wire with nothing to ground her.

  Still looking in the direction the men disappeared, she nodded.

  “Don’t let them find me! Don’t tell them you saw me!” Her words were slurred, and her eyes were wide and scared.

  Nora reached for her, but the girl backed away, throwing up her hands like she was blocking a punch.

  “Let me help you,” she said. Her heart pounded. The girl was desperate. When she edged closer, the girl ran to the stairs and then back, reminding her of a trapped animal pacing her cage.

  “Do you need the police?” she asked. “I can call them. Come with me, we’ll find somewhere safe.”

  It didn’t matter to Nora that she knew Tyler, and never had the feeling he was anything but what he seemed. The girl’s fear was tangible, and she was afraid of him and the men who were with him.

  She held out a hand. The girl eyed it and paced back and forth. She looked around as if to catch someone watching. Nora stayed as still as she was able, even when her side began to ache. Slowly, her pacing shortened until she stood, shoulders heaving, staring at Nora’s hand like it might strike her.

  Then, even though she could see she didn’t want to, the girl took it. She was trembling and clammy, but she held onto Nora like a lifeline.

  “We’ll go downstairs and I’ll find a phone. I’ll find someone who can keep you safe, okay?”

  The girl didn’t say anything now. She stumbled step after step behind Nora, her grip so tight
it hurt, but she didn’t let her go. She pushed open the door for the ground floor, and the girl followed, dragging her feet so Nora felt like she was pulling her. She stopped, waiting.

  The girl’s eyes tracked from side to side, turning her head to look behind her. “They’ll find me.” Her tongue seemed to have trouble forming the words, but Nora could still make them out. “They’ll find me.”

  “You’ll stay with me,” she told her. “I’ll stay with you.”

  The girl met her eyes then and smiled, a grimace and a show of teeth. “You’ll stay?”

  “I’ll stay,” she repeated.

  They were closer to the front door now. Nora pushed it open, and the two of them started down the stone steps. She glanced back at the girl. She’d turned her face toward the sun and closed her eyes.

  “It’s a beautiful day,” she whispered.

  “Nora!”

  Her heart stuttered, and she whipped around. As she turned, the girl yanked her hand out of hers. The guys, all five of them, ran full tilt at her. The girl took-off when the guys called Nora’s name. She sprinted into the building, the door slamming behind her.

  “Wait!” Nora called to her.

  But then the guys were there. Ryan was the first to reach her, and he scooped her into his arms, lifting her off the ground. He plopped onto the steps, like his knees had given out.

  “You can’t leave like that,” he whispered into her ear. She could feel him trembling beneath her.

  “What the heck, Nora?” Apollo sat next to Ryan, reaching for her. Ryan’s arms gripped her tighter, so Apollo settled with grabbing her hand. ““Do you know how insane I’ve been? How could you leave?” His voice broke.

  Nora studied their features. Matisse’s face was a mask; there was no sign of the easy-going guy she knew. Cai seemed sad, but not angry, and Seok… She couldn’t even hazard a guess at what he was feeling; she had no idea.

  “I am so sorry,” Seok began. He knelt on a lower step, reaching for her, his hands gripping her knees. “I shouldn’t have left you. I had to talk to my friends right away, I didn’t think about how you would feel.”

  She blushed, remembering how he’d left her, and darted glances at the other guys. It was clear, even with Seok leaving out the details, they’d been intimate. The guys must know.

  But it wasn’t the time to hash it out.

  She tried to stand. “Let me up, please.”

  Ryan released her reluctantly and she stood, heading back into the building. “The girl who was with me, she needed help.”

  The guys stood. “She must have gone inside,” Matisse said, narrowing his eyes at the building.

  Nora started toward the stairs, stopping when she felt someone take her hand.

  “We’re coming with you.” It was Cai.

  She heard a scream, and then voices yelling. She looked around, trying to locate the voice. She saw, way up on the top floor, someone with their head out the window, their dark hair obscuring their face.

  “That’s her,” she whispered.

  Ryan and Cai took off. They were a flash of color up the stairs and then inside. She heard Matisse take out his phone and begin speaking, but her eyes remained riveted on the window.

  The girl shifted, the rest of her body emerging, until she sat perched half in and half out of the building. She leaned her head back, face toward the sky.

  There was a crowd now. Some people cried out in surprise and others talked low, as if by raising their voice they would startle her and she would fall.

  Her body swayed from side to side, but she held onto the frame, rocking in a gentle motion.

  And then, she let go.

  Her body tumbled backward. She held her arms out, and then, as if realizing what she’d done, began to pinwheel madly. Her gaze stayed glued to the girl; she couldn’t have torn it away if she wanted to. When the girl screamed, Nora screamed, until the sound cut off, and her body slammed into the ground.

  But she didn’t see that. Someone grabbed her, and pulled her against a warm chest. Arms went around her back, holding her head in place and covering her ears. Seok.

  All she heard was the quick, dull thump of his heart, and then his voice, and Apollo’s, telling her it would be okay.

  thirty-three

  Home

  Sitting in Apollo’s lap got Nora some weird looks. It was the fourth lap she sat on so far, but she didn’t care. She didn’t give a damn if anyone watching her judged her as a slut.

  She wrapped her arms around Apollo’s bicep, holding his arm across her chest and anytime he shifted, she squeezed it tighter to let him know she wasn’t ready to be left alone yet. He seemed fine with that. He squeezed her reassuringly, and rubbed her back.

  The university police arrived first, followed by the fire trucks and ambulances. On the heels of those first responders came the state police, then the town police, and finally, Nora’s old friend, Detective Vance. He’d canted his head when he saw her, but was immediately pulled away by the university police. It shouldn’t have surprised her when he sought her out, but it did.

  “It’s horrible.”

  Nora squinted at him and he squatted next to her and Apollo. A shadow suddenly appeared over both of them: Ryan.

  “Stand down, Counselor,” Vance said, flipping his sunglasses over his eyes to block the sun’s glare. “I’m only checking in.”

  “Me, too,” Ryan told him.

  Vance nodded before turning his attention back to Nora. “Did you know her?”

  She shook her head. “Met in the stairwell. I was bringing her to call the cops. She was scared.”

  “She say why?”

  “No. Said someone was after her.”

  Groaning, Vance got to his feet. She noticed how he eyed the bench where Apollo sat holding her. He gazed from Nora to Apollo, and back to the bench, but Apollo didn’t move.

  “It’s okay, Apollo.” She rubbed her face against his chest.

  She felt his chest heave and then he slid over so Vance could sit. The man rubbed his face before meeting her eyes. “She was a sad girl. We knew her down at the station. It’s not a real surprise, but I’m sorry all the same.”

  She wasn’t sure if he was apologizing because she was dead, or because she saw it happen. Either way— “Me, too.”

  Vance patted her knee and Apollo shifted her away quickly before growling, truly growling, at the man. He stood, ignoring Apollo. “Take care of yourself.” He went back to the group of first responders and began talking to them. She saw some of them glance her way and then back to the school.

  Police were also questioning Dr. Murray. She saw him staring at the building and then over where the girl’s body landed. He spoke quickly, his face serious and sad.

  Tyler stood with Cai, looking utterly devastated. Cai had an arm around his shoulders, and spoke to Tyler, and then to the police who were questioning him. Off a short distance away, police also questioned the older men who were with Tyler.

  “It won’t be much longer.” Ryan sat next to her and reached for her hand.

  Keeping her arm wrapped around Apollo’s, she took his hand. She felt hands on her shoulders and turned to see Seok taking Vance’s seat.

  “Can we switch?” he asked Apollo.

  Apollo drew his head back so he could peer at Nora. He raised an eyebrow and she nodded. She made a move to stand, but Seok reached over and scooped her, pulling her onto his lap and wrapping her in his arms the way Apollo had.

  “Hi,” he whispered against her hair. “Thank you.”

  She leaned back against him. “When my brain is on again, we’ll talk, okay?”

  She felt his chin bump against her head as he nodded. “Yes. Just…” Seok hesitated. “Don’t leave again without talking to me first. Please.”

  “It was a crummy thing to do, I’m sorry.”

  He smiled at her choice of words. “Yes, but what I did to you was also crummy.”

  “There needs to be a stronger word.”

  H
e blanched. “Yes,” he agreed.

  They stayed like that for a moment, resting against each other comfortably. She watched the other guys, noticing Cai walking toward them with Tyler in tow. “I’d like Tyler to stay with us tonight, if you don’t mind.”

  Seok shook his head. “Of course. You’re welcome to stay, Tyler.” He winced. “I should have been more welcoming when I met you.”

  “It would have been nice,” Nora admitted.

  “Tyler.” Their group turned. It was Dr. Murray. “Can you come with me? We’re going to debrief in about an hour.”

  “I asked him to stay with me, Dr. Murray.” Cai’s voice took on a tone which made Nora feel she was in the presence of a grown-up.

  Dr. Murray smiled, but it was a little tight. “I appreciate that. I was worried about him being alone. Can I drop him at your house?”

  She suspected Dr. Murray had deliberately misunderstood Cai, but in doing so he’d also underestimated him. “You’d still like Tyler to attend your debriefing, I understand. I need to make sure it’s okay with Tyler. Excuse us for a moment.”

  Cai slung an arm around Tyler’s shoulders and led him away.

  “I’d like you to attend as well, Nora. It’d be a good time to meet your team, and see how we operate.”

  “Nora won’t be attending anything this evening,” Ryan interjected.

  While Nora appreciated Ryan watching out for her, she didn’t want him to feel like it was his responsibility. “I agree. I’m sorry, Dr. Murray. I’d like to go home this evening.”

  Dr. Murray glanced at his watch. “Your room should be ready. I can bring you over before I meet with the group. Maybe on the way there I can talk you into joining us.”