False Nails and Tall Tales (The Teasen and Pleasen Hair Salon Cozy Mystery Series Book 5)

by Constance Barker

  "Gotta show the scale of things," he said.

  "The scale," I said, and Nellie nodded wisely although given that most everything was standard household stuff… chairs, tables, cups… and none of it was dollhouse sized, I wasn’t clear on the point of the scale of things, but I didn’t want to take away from Deputy Hayes’ attempt at thoroughness.

  When he finished, Digby put his gear away and closed the front door. Then he put some of that yellow police crime scene tape across the door and stepped back to admire his work.

  Digby sighed. "You can go now, but please don’t talk about this to anyone," he warned us. "This is an ongoing investigation to determine if there was foul play."

  "Right," Nellie snorted. "You think we can go home and tell our families we were wandering in the swamp all evening? So you honestly think for one moment that we are going to pretend we didn’t stumble across the dead body of a family friend?"

  "That would be a good idea." I could see Digby was serious.

  "She was joking," I told him.

  "Oh."

  "The thing is, you can’t expect us to ignore what we saw. I mean people knew where we were going. When they ask: ‘How was Old Joe?’ do you expect us to lie?"

  "I guess not. I meant don’t talk about the clues."

  "Clues? What clues? You mean the dead body?"

  He shrugged. "Just don’t start any rumors."

  "I can’t think of any," I said.

  "Except that Joe is dead, maybe?" Nellie asked. "Oh, right… that’s a fact."

  Digby snorted. "Just don’t confuse things. Don’t say more than you told me, I guess. Now I have to get the body out to the highway before the coroner gets tired of waiting and goes back to Delhi. All I need is to be driving around with a dead body in the car until tomorrow." With that Digby got in the car and chauffeured Old Joe out to his meeting with the coroner.

  "That man wouldn’t understand sarcasm if you drowned him in it," Nellie said.

  I took the keys from Nellie’s purse. "I’ll drive back."

  She looked at me. "Why?"

  "Because you are jumpy. Your nerves are a real mess. You have to navigate though."

  She looked out at the swamp nervously. "I guess you’re right. Just don’t tell Rudy I let you drive his precious rig."

  I looked at the battered vehicle. "Even if I thought there was some way he could tell I would be careful with it. And I wouldn’t worry about him asking about that to anyone. When he hears about Joe I doubt that will be his first question, who drove back?"

  "You’re right, Savannah, I just meant…"

  "I won’t bring it up or make it obvious."

  "He’s protective of it."

  We walked to the four wheeler and climbed in. It started up with a roar that I considered more menacing than reassuring, but noise like that was all the rage with off the road vehicles. I put it in gear and stomped on the accelerator, which started us lurching back out toward the road. The thing was a lot to handle, but soon I had it bouncing down the ruts that passed for a road, headed back to what passed for civilization. Beside me, Nellie sat quiet. That wasn’t like my Nellie. "While we drive back I expect you to tell me what’s going on."

  "Going on? Besides the murder of a friend?"

  "I mean what’s going on inside your head."

  "I don’t know what you mean."

  "Yes you do. You are in a real state and you don’t fall apart easily. I know you liked Joe, but you didn’t know him that well. And you’ve dealt with dead people before. I’m concerned about you."

  She tipped her head. "It’s that I have to worry about Rudy. Rudy knew him. He knew him real well. They were close. Rudy will be devastated."

  "So all this is worry about Rudy?"

  "In more ways than I can tell you."

  "What do you mean? You are going to explain that or I’ll have to horn swaggle you."

  She grinned weakly. "You would do that too. Some friend you are, threatening a girl when she’s upset. Okay, there are several levels of worry. I was expecting Rudy to be there with Joe. I’m pretty sure he was there earlier. There were two glasses on the floor, clearly knocked off the table." I’d seen that. "Joe didn’t drink with many people. He was really quite the recluse and Rudy was one of the few he liked to see come around."

  "And that means Rudy could become a suspect, assuming Digby works that out."

  "Right. And he loved Joe, but that doesn’t mean they never fought about things. Some of that mess looked a bit like my living room has when they got into it."

  "Okay. But we know he didn’t hang Joe."

  She nodded. "Right. That much we know."

  "And Joe’s lack of close pals makes it surprising that Bogdan Ratkovich was hanging around here acting like he was making a social call."

  "That’s true. I know Bogdan didn’t mention seeing Rudy, but if he came here looking for a fight over something or other, maybe Rudy left and he doesn’t want to mention it. And before you ask, I don’t know of any problems between them. Like I said, they got along great. But maybe his arrival scared Rudy off for some reason. I can’t see Joe offering Bogdan a drink."

  "If Rudy was here, he must’ve left before anything bad happened. We know that Rudy certainly wouldn’t have hurt Joe and he wouldn’t have left if Bogdan was threatening Joe."

  "That’s true enough. I think he cared more about that old man more than he did his own father. I was pretty sure we’d find him out here, sitting and drinking with Joe. I just worry that Digby or Chief Tanner might see it differently."

  I saw the look in her eyes. "You think you know what happened. Whatever you think is much worse than Rudy getting arrested, which I should point out has actually happened before."

  "A time or two. But I don’t think I know what happened, it’s just that I had another thought. I hope I’m wrong… it’s just a thought, but a scary one."

  "So spill, girlfriend. This isn’t the time to start holding back on me." We always told each other pretty much everything. These days we didn’t share it all, but only because we had separate lives.

  She gritted her teeth. "There’s competition among moonshiners and a violent history. Things have been calm for a while, but what if it’s flaring up again? What if some new people are moving in and have decided to eliminate the competition."

  "Rudy is a legal supplier now. Bayou Shine isn’t competing with the illegal hooch."

  "Joe was still selling and Rudy’s Daddy is running the old, unsanctioned still. Besides, what if it’s someone who wants to get legal?"

  "They get legal by killing people? It would be easier to apply to the State."

  "The law set up a fixed number of artisanal licenses. The State doesn’t want handcrafted business to become an industry… more of a novelty and tourist attraction. It’s one thing to showcase our dark past brought into the light, that sort of thing. They don’t want to threaten the major distilleries though. So, to get a license, they’d need to eliminate an existing licensee. They’d also need an exceptional product to qualify. Maybe whatever Joe and Rudy were working on got their attention. They could be after him, or even the boys, now that they work in the business part time."

  "Oh." That didn’t sound good to me at all. "You don’t think the Ratkovich family had anything to do with Joe’s death?"

  Nellie stared glumly into the swamp. "I don’t know. I don’t really know much about them at all. They’ve been out here, bootlegging since we were kids and who knows how long before that. Like you, I see them when they come to town."

  "So you don’t see them socially?"

  She laughed. "It isn’t like moonshiners get together to put a gator on the spit so they can swap life stories. They tend to keep to themselves. Most are pretty secretive. There are others out there too. That family is just a bit more prominent than some."

  "So the question is whether or not they are killers."

  "I don’t think the Ratkoviches would resort to that. They don’t compete with Rudy, like yo
u said, and as far as moving up and going public… well, they are pretty old school. I remember that they tried making some Slivovitz once, thinking they could find a niche market."

  "Slivovitz?"

  "They said it’s a traditional Serbian and Croatian fruit brandy."

  "But it didn’t work?"

  "The stuff they made was pretty nice, but getting the fruit they needed was difficult and the process was more complicated than they liked. That was one thing they did talk to Rudy about, the possibility of getting bulk buys of fruit somewhere. Rudy told them to stick with malted barley or wheat. Besides, if Bogdan, or one of his clan killed Old Joe, why would he call it in to the police? Why would he raise an alarm when not doing it would give them more time to scatter? No one would have seen them or ever know they were there."

  "Unless Rudy saw them and they decided to have Bogdan report the killing."

  She sighed. "You aren’t helping my worry bones with observations like that, Savannah Jeffries."

  "Sorry. So who else might be wanting the market to themselves and willing to kill for it? Or can you think of someone else with another kind of grudge against Joe?"

  She shrugged. "I have no idea. The truth is that I haven’t been keeping up on moonshine politics and it changes over time. Alliances fluctuate, plans change. We need to ask Rudy, and he might not even know. He isn’t out in the swamp that much these days. His Daddy or Auntie Hattie might know more, but they moved the still, the illegal one, again and I don’t know where it is now. Maybe that’s where Rudy is. They’d hide him." Aunt Hattie was a woman that worked with Rudy’s Daddy. None of us was clear on the actual nature of their relationship, but everyone knew that the woman called Aunt Hattie was a tough minded and protective woman who was quick with a shotgun. Of course that went with the territory.

  "Does he have a cell phone too?"

  "Rudy? I doubt it. He can’t operate a stereo. A landline with pushbuttons is taxing his tech ability."

  "Well, these days everyone but me seems to have one and use it rather ably. After all, Danillo, Old Joe, and Bogdan have them. At least I assume that the phone that Digby found belonged to Joe."

  She wrinkled her forehead. "That’s a good point, and none of them are exactly wizards with tech. But I don’t think Rudy does." Suddenly she didn’t sound that sure. "His Daddy probably does." Then she laughed.

  "What’s so funny?"

  "I was thinking of moonshiners creating Facebook pages and tweeting about their mash."

  "I’m sure the revenuers would like it if they would."

  She smiled. "I bet they would."

  "It’s a strange new world. Who knows?"

  "I still can’t believe Joe was killed. Who would do that?"

  That was going to be the question hanging over us until we got an answer. And until then, I knew Nellie was going to be concerned that her own family might be in some danger. "We’ll get to the bottom of this."

  "We have to, Savannah."

  CHAPTER FIVE

  The next morning I slept in. Paula would get the girls up, feed them breakfast and get them to school. That meant I had the luxury of some extra time to indulge myself even if that meant lying in bed feeling guilty.

  With the brain-rattling and emotional experience of dealing with Joe’s death, I felt I could use the time to get some equilibrium. Certainly things would be crazy once I got to work. Everyone would know about Old Joe’s death. If they didn’t get it any other way, Nadine Hines would’ve started the phones buzzing with the news.

  But for a little time I could pretend things were fine in the world. So I lounged around, making myself waffles and drinking an extra cup of coffee. As if the universe was trying to encourage me, when I stepped outside to feed Finn, I found a glorious morning. Unwilling to waste it, I took my breakfast on the patio and ate it to the sound of birds singing. I loved the birds. Most of my pretend gardening was just an excuse to be outside. If I were living in a city I wouldn’t hear the birds. The thought came unbidden, and was immediately countered by another. If I were living in the city I probably wouldn’t be eating breakfast alone. Of course most mornings I had Sarah with me, but I was thinking of adult company. A man. I was thinking of James Woodley. If I was in a city I might have his company. Out here he’d never be more than a visitor.

  The aloneness, the feeling of wanting company proved bittersweet. I’d spent a lot of quality time alone. When my marriage failed, being alone had been good. I’d needed the time and space to think through my life, my desires, and to evaluate my successes and mistakes. I’d had both times when I savored being alone, and times when it hurt. Would getting into a relationship preclude the good moments?

  There wasn’t any answer to an angsty question like that, so I finished breakfast and got ready for work. I gave myself permission to enjoy the peaceful walk with Finn dashing around yards and sniffing at trees. Unfortunately my mind was already trying to find something tangible in what I knew and surmised about Old Joe’s death. I was trying to find convincing arguments to support my gut feeling that Nellie’s family wasn’t in danger.

  So the walk was far from the peaceful time it should’ve been. Daddy always accused me of not being able to keep my nose out of things.

  I arrived to find that Pete had opened the salon. As Finn made his circuit and curled up under the sink I smiled a hello at Nadine Hines, who sat in Pete's chair, getting a perm. Leander was sitting there with them, looking agitated. He jumped up as I came in. "What the heck happened, Savannah? We were just hearing the news from Nadine and I can’t believe it. Old Joe is dead?"

  "I’m afraid so."

  "And you found him?"

  Since Nadine was already giving out information it didn’t seem that Digby’s instructions on maintaining radio silence made any sense. "Bogdan Ratkovich found him. Nellie and I got there right after he called the police."

  Leander started pacing the floor anxiously. "Why? How?" Then he stared at me. "I didn’t even know you knew Joe."

  "I don’t, didn’t, Leander. Nellie took me out there because she wanted me to meet him. She was supposed to report to Joe and Rudy on the results of the tasting so we went out after work. When we got there he was already dead."

  Leander was trying to take it all in. "Someone hung him?"

  I nodded. "Well, he was hung, at any rate. By the time we got there Bogdan had cut him down in case he was still alive but it was too late."

  "Bogdan Ratkovich?"

  "Yeah."

  "And you just took his word for Joe being dead?" I could see anger flashing in his eyes.

  "No, don’t worry. We didn’t just stand there. Nellie barged in the room and we checked him. Joe had been dead for a while and the body was cold."

  "He was supposed to keep you out of there," Nadine said. "I gave him specific instructions, told him to secure the crime scene."

  "He told us that, but you didn’t give him enough incentive to try and stop us. Besides, if he had tried, the way Nellie was reacting I think Digby would’ve had to haul two bodies away."

  She clucked. "I suppose she would’ve walked right over the poor man."

  I walked over to put a hand on Leander’s shoulder. "We checked him, we made sure. But he was really and truly dead."

  "Damn."

  "I bet you didn’t tell Digby you did that," Nadine said scornfully. The woman had a thing for procedure.

  "No, Nadine. We took the liberty of lying to him so he wouldn’t get confused."

  "Oh." She smiled. "That makes sense. He gets confused so easily."

  "What’s the matter, Leander?" Pete asked. "You seem really upset."

  Leander gave Pete a surprised look. "Old Joe," he said. "The man’s dead, Pete."

  "It’s sad, of course, but…"

  "I’m furious and I’m upset, Pete. I can’t get my head around the idea that he’s really gone or that someone would kill that sweet old man."

  "We don’t know that anyone killed him yet," Nadine said.

 
; Leander snorted. "What do you mean?"

  "The investigation is still open. The police haven’t determined what happened to him. We don’t know the truth yet."

  "Well, he certainly didn’t hang himself," Leander said. Then he looked at me and I saw a realization settle on him. "If they are trying to say he killed himself, they can forget that."

  "I think they have to consider the possibility."

  "You say you never met him. Well if you had gotten to meet him you’d know that no one liked life more than Old Joe. He sang the blues, sort of, but the man lived happiness. He was always an optimist. Nothing was better than living, as far as he was concerned. If he was hung, someone killed him. It’s that simple."

  "The investigation just started, Leander. We need to give it a chance. They don’t know much at all yet. I know it’s troubling, but we need to wait and see what they find," I said. I didn’t like any of the options. I didn’t want to think a man killed himself, but if that left Rudy and Bogdan as the only suspects, that wasn’t great either. The dark look in Leander’s eyes was disconcerting. I didn’t want him speculating about what might have happened. Nellie had started doing that and all she was finding was darkness and conspiracies that had her worried that her family might be in danger. We didn’t need more of that.

  "People might’ve liked that man but he was just an old moonshiner," Nadine said.

  "What?" Leander’s voice was knife edged.

  Pete looked a little sheepish, and I heard a tension in his voice. "Nadine’s just saying that you need to keep in mind that we are talking about a man who made bootleg liquor and sold it."

  Leander spun around and stared at Pete. "And that means what, exactly?"

  Pete seemed flustered by the question. "It means that he was an outlaw, a man living outside of the law, Leander. Old Joe was a criminal with a record."

  "He was a good man."

  Nadine snorted. "Leander, I’ve seen it before. A man living like the way he did makes enemies and does things he regrets later in life. And maybe he was good to you, but not everyone is gonna see him in that light. He might have put on a happy face for you."