Billy Palmer

by Ronald Zastre

  “Are you confessing?”

  “Hell no, I’m just pissed about you calling Betty Boop.”

  “Who is Betty Boop?”

  The Betty, Cassey’s mother. That must’ve been enlightening. She’s a little bit round the bend you know.”

  “I didn’t get that impression.”

  “Swenson, Christ, she sees Jesus in her tea leaves.”

  “She’s a Christian, do you hold that against her?”

  “I don’t hold anything against her, it’s the other way around. Cassey was raised in a house where she was intimidated by her mother’s religious zeal. Cassey never went for it and was relieved to get out, away from the constant brow beating. Cassey has her own beliefs and chooses her own way of practicing them. I never have, and never will interfere with that.”

  “It’s Christmas, anything more important to tell me?”

  “No, I just wanted to congratulate you for covering all the bases,” Manny said mad, slamming the phone back into its cradle.

  *

  Later that day, a car came driving up Manny’s driveway, but he couldn’t make out who was in it. Manny pulled on a jacket and went outside. The car pulled right up to the garage, but whoever was inside didn’t get out. As Manny approached the car, the driver’s side window slide down and Manny recognized Deputy Conner sitting behind the steering wheel.

  “Mr. Anderson, can I talk to you?” she asked.

  Manny approached the open window, a peeved expression on his face. “Deputy Conner, what a surprise.”

  “Mr. Anderson, I’d like a word with you, if you don’t mind?” Conner said, still in the car. It was evident that she didn’t want to get out.

  “You’re trying to ruin my life so please don’t patronize me also. My enemies call me Manny,” he said, walking up to the open window.

  “Yes, Manny, ah, I want you to know, ah, I’m not in line with the department. I think that’s how Detective Swenson would phrase it.”

  “Well, Deputy, you must be out of line then. In that case, you definitely can call me Manny. What’s on your mind?”

  “This case, what’s happening to you.”

  “Are you sure you want to discuss this with me, I mean, after all, Swenson is your boss, and I’m sure he wouldn’t be too happy about you disclosing anything to me.”

  Conner sat there quiet for a moment, thinking.

  “I don’t like my job anymore,” she finally said. “I think you’re innocent and I don’t like Swenson, and I don’t like Auburn. Why is it so bad to help you prove that? I got into law enforcement to help people, keep them safe. I just don’t get that feeling anymore.”

  “What’s your problem is, Deputy Conner, is—”

  “Carrie, please call me Carrie,” Conner interrupted.

  “Okay, Carrie. The problem you’re experiencing is that you might have a conscience, you might have feelings. Your cohorts only remember being assembled and then packaged somewhere.”

  “Packaged?”

  “It was a reference to them being extremely anal, you know robot mentality. Ah, I make up mental personalities for the people I deal with, you know in my head, and Swenson reminds me of the star in a futuristic cop movie, the indestructible half human, half machine character, unrelenting and undetourable.

  “That’s Detective Swenson all right, but Auburn is just plain dumb.” Carrie started laughing.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “I was just thinking, you compared Swenson to a robot. If you were to compare Auburn to any machine, I wouldn’t go any higher than a can opener.”

  It was Manny’s turn to laugh. “You mean I have nothing to worry about from Auburn?”

  “Oh, no, Mr., excuse me Manny, he’s just dumb enough to be dangerous. He hangs on any word that Swenson says. He’s the perfect model for Swenson, doesn’t care about anything but career advancement, and Swenson is the top dog, if he’s looking to go far, up in these woods. Auburn is the one that started the gay suspicions.”

  “How the hell did he manage to get it in the paper?”

  “He went out to the lake, to that gay resort. He figured that if you were gay, you’d be known out there.”

  “Well, I’m not, just for your information. Swenson sent him out there? Didn’t Super Sleuth realize it would be enough to start the rumor, or didn’t he care? I’m big news around here, because it’s Cassey and me, and the assaults, and anything juicy is a short step to publication. There are reporters from the cities here, for Christ sakes.”

  “It wasn’t Swenson, he just instructed Auburn to check out if you might be gay. Auburn got the flash all on his own.”

  “What does Swenson think of it now?”

  “He says that if you are gay, it will come out now, for sure.”

  “And now it’s a crime to be gay?”

  “I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I’m just sick about what’s happening. I’ve always wanted a relationship like you and your wife have, and now I’m expected to do everything I can to tear it apart. My husband only wants me—the little woman—for a conventional wife. The only reason he agrees with my working is the money. He would be a lot happier if I was only a waitress. The responsibility I have is too much for his fragile ego.”

  “Sounds like you and the Mr. are headed for trouble?”

  “We passed trouble a long time ago. I want you to know, if there is anything I can do for you, I will try.”

  “No, you lay low. I don’t want to see anyone else get burned by the zealots, unless the two Super Heroes cross the line, that is.”

  “I think they did with the New York connection.”

  “In what way?”

  “I was the one that went there, to check, to look for evidence.”

  “And.”

  “I didn’t find anything concrete, but it looked like somebody might be out to make you look bad. But, I’m not an experienced investigator.”

  “Did you meet with this Mark Tainer?”

  “Yes, I interviewed him.”

  “What was your impression of him?”

  “Kind of into himself, if you know what I mean?”

  “Not really, can you elaborate?”

  “He said he didn’t want to help us point the finger at anyone, meaning you, but he was very helpful to us. I think he was very impressed with how he manipulated me.”

  “Deputy, you are observant, something a cop needs. Maybe you should reconsider leaving the job.”

  “I didn’t say I was leaving the occupation, just thinking of changing locations.”

  Chapter 35

  “For those of you still stuck in a snow bank, I have good news,” the morning weather man announced over the radio. “We have a warming trend headed our way. Temperatures today will hit the low thirties, tomorrow the low forties, and the next day, back to Minnesota in winter. Ice on the roads, goodbye, at least temporarily. Remember, it’s still January.”

  Manny sat at the kitchen bar, a cup of coffee in his hands, looking out the window, fantasizing about the snow melting and spring coming. But the warning, about it only being January, from the guy that was supposed to know, struck home. It was time to go south. If spring wasn’t going to come to him, he would go to spring he decided, as Carl and Jason walked into the kitchen.

  “Manny, someone is out to get you,” Jason whined. “You need to find the lowest point possible, curl up in a ball, and pull something over yourself for the time being. Not expose yourself.”

  “He’s not going to listen to you McDermott,” Carl said. “I know this guy, he’s about as determined as there is. Am I right Manny, you’re not about to do the sensible thing, and let the authorities handle it, are you?”

  “The authorities haven’t made it past the setup yet. How long do I wait Carl? How long is it going to take for them to figure it all out?”

  “A lot quicker, if you tell them what you know.”

  “Bah, I only have suspicions, and I already told Swenson about Tainer, and he didn’t do any
thing.”

  “He didn’t find anything,” Carl commented.

  “There you go,” Manny announced.

  “Manny, don’t do something stupid!” Carl begged. “They can’t arrest you with what they’ve got, and they certainly can’t take you to trial. You go off cowboying, and who knows what will happen.”

  “I love you guys and your lawyer mentality. You tell me don’t worry, there’s not enough to make it official, they can’t put you in jail, yet. I know that’s what I’m paying you for, to keep me out of jail. You’re both giving me speeches based on your job descriptions. What I’m having a problem with is beyond that, it goes all the way to my freedoms. I certainly don’t want to go to jail, especially since I’m not guilty of anything, but my life has been turned upside down and someone is using the system to do that. And very effectively I might add. Considering how important my good life is to me, I think I should turn it over somebody that can understand the weight of this problem, and that would be me.”

  “But, Manny, this is way out of your league. The worst thing you can do is make yourself vulnerable. Somebody is trying to kill you,” Carl pleaded

  “Yeah, and I can’t sit around doing nothing about it. You expect me to just sit and wait it out? Is that your solution Carl?”

  “I don’t know Manny, I just think that you could hire somebody or something. Get somebody that does this sort of thing.”

  “I’ll think about it, but for now, I’m still the only one I’ve got.”

  “What are your plans?”

  “I’m going on the lamb for starters. It’s harder to hit a moving target.”

  “I don’t think Swenson is going to like that, we promised him you would be available,” Jason declared.

  “Fuck Swenson, it’s ‘my’ turn to piss ‘him’ off.”

  “Manny, he’s the law, he’s got the system behind him,” Carl said. “Just a warning, Manny. I know we can’t stop you, and I’m not going to try anymore, but you stay in contact with us, you hear. I don’t know what Swenson will do, you cut and run, but if he pulls the reigns in, you’d better be available. You hear me, Manny?”

  “I hear you Carl, and I’ll keep you informed. If anything goes wrong, I’ll let you know what to do with the body.”

  “Jesus Manny, for christ sakes, stop the joking around.”

  “Joking, I’m not joking Carl. Someone is trying to kill me, and I’m pretty sure they’re not new at this. What a set up,” Manny continued. “I need you guys to protect myself when I’ve done nothing wrong. The system says I pay you regardless of what’s right or wrong, I just pay, and be thankful.”

  Chapter 36

  Manny took a cab down to the local Chevy dealer and was standing in the show room, talking to Stan Markowitz. Stan and his father owned the dealership, and Stan and Manny had been friends since school days.

  “Come on Manny, let me put you in this Vet. You need some excitement in your life,” Stan said.

  “Jesus Stan, I’ve got all the excitement I can handle. Haven’t you heard?”

  “Shit Anderson, that’ll all blow over. I mean some real thrills. This baby really flies.” Markowitz had the classic salesman stance and his hands were directing Manny’s attention to the racy, white car. “Handles like a dream, and I promise, it’ll give you a new lease on life.”

  “Probably end up killing myself, remember the last hot car I had?”

  “You were a dumb ass kid then, besides this is a real machine, not that straight line, suicide, piece of junk you had. This is the latest in technology, three hundred pounds lighter than the regular Corvette, a hundred more horses, and bigger brakes. This thing handles and brakes like a dream.”

  “You already said that. You’re starting to sound like a friggin salesman, repeating yourself.”

  “Manny, just take it for a week or so, see what you think. I’m telling you, you’ll fall in love with it.”

  “I don’t know, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt. I need a car, considering the old one is down at the cop shop with bullet holes in it.”

  “There you go Anderson, if anyone’s after your sorry ass, you can leave em in the dust with this baby.”

  “Yeah, what’re you going to say if I bring it back with holes in it?”

  “Is it that serious Manny? I thought this whole thing was just blown out of proportion.”

  “It’s serious Stan.”

  “I can’t believe it. I’ve known you for a long time and I don’t believe it one bit.”

  “What can’t you believe, what part is it you’re not going for?”

  “Well, for one thing, I know you’re not gay. Who the hell started that?”

  “That dumb fuck cop.”

  “I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting the prick, but I’ll guarantee, he’ll never set foot in this place.”

  “I appreciate the support, I haven’t been getting much lately.”

  “Yeah, I heard Cassey left, but she’ll come to her senses.”

  “I don’t think her reasoning is all that stupid, considering what’s happened.”

  “What the hell’s going on Manny? I’ve known you guys for a long time, and it just doesn’t fit? Am I missing something?”

  “Big money.”

  “Huh?”

  “Something big and powerful, something that could get me killed. Still want to give me the car?”

  “Hell yes, we’re friends. A hundred cars can’t compare with that.”

  “How many cars could compete with the story of a life time?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “How many cars could equal the movie of the year, of the decade?”

  “Manny, you’re not making any sense.”

  “What if I told you this was all because of a story.”

  “About Palmer? Shit, he did his thing in the war, I guess. He was a daring bastard, and I don’t doubt he might have gotten involved in some exciting shit, but nothing worth any cash.”

  “You knew him pretty well, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah, he was a character, and he sure could drive.”

  “Where did you hear about the Palmer connection?

  “That dip shit Marilyn. She was in here, blabbing as usual.”

  “Christ Stan, you know you can’t believe her.”

  “I take her money, I don’t take her serious,” Stan laughed. “I’m smarter than that.”

  “Let’s hope so. The story isn’t about Billy, it’s something he wrote.”

  “His book? The one he was writing, the sci-fi?”

  “Yeah his book, you knew about it?”

  “Oh sure, he approached me about it, a long time ago.”

  “And?”

  “And the old man. Billy told me about it and I read a little. Fascinating story, but I was the grunt back then. Dear old dad wouldn’t have nothing to do with something as silly as that, so I forgot about it. Does it come back to haunt me?

  “Not really, unless you like lots of money.”

  “Ah shit, I live for the stuff, you know that Anderson.”

  “Yeah, well Palmer had something big, we all should have paid better attention.”

  “No shit, poor Billy. What did him in, you ever find out?”

  “No, and I don’t know if I really want too. I feel bad enough as it is.”

  “So this is why someone is trying to rub you and Cassey out. It’s that big?”

  “Oh yeah.”

  “Shit Manny, are you serious, or just fuckin with me?”

  “I’ll trade you the car for a manuscript, then you tell me.”

  “What else do you need?” Stan asked.

  “Nothing really, but I’m planning to take a trip, to sort of disappear and clear my head, that sort of thing. Still want to give me the car?”

  “Hell, yes, you should probably get a fuzz buster though. If you want to go fast, they come in handy,” Stan advised.

  “Sounds like a good idea, throw one in.”

  “Not me old pal,
slightly illegal, but go see Keaton. He’ll sell you one of his.”

  “Is that guy still fooling with his weird electronics?” Manny asked.

  “Yup, weirder than ever though,” Stan laughed. “Guy’s a real genius. I keep telling him he should go to work for some big company, but he says that would just hold him back. He claims he has a computer that programs itself.”

  “There’s a great leap for ya, machines that don’t need us. I hope they don’t decide that we’re in the way, like not necessary, the way we constantly shit in our nest.”

  “Jesus Manny, I never considered that. Shit, I hope Keaton isn’t as smart as I think he is.”

  “Well, he’s always been the guy I would figure to blow up the world,” Manny chuckled.

  “Damn, now you got me worried Anderson. Kenny is just over the border in Wisconsin, I’ll give you the address.”

  Chapter 37

  A quick thrust with the left leg down and then immediately back out on the clutch petal, timed with a sharp rearward snap of the right hand, and a flick of the right foot on the throttle, and the car transmissioned into second gear, the gut wrenching acceleration barely interrupted. Manny watched the tachometer wind furiously up again, and less than three-seconds later he slammed the car into third gear, the speedometer well past one hundred miles an hour, climbing like the hand of a clock gone mad. The whole time the acceleration forces pushed his body steadily into the seat.

  The speedometer passed one-hundred-thirty just as the tachometer reached the red numbers at seven-thousand and Manny shifted the car hard into fourth gear, the machine continuing it’s hard snarling charge. The Corvette Z06 was still pushing him hard into the seat as the numbers quickly approached one fifty and seven thousand respectfully. This time Manny pulled his foot back on the accelerator and shifted into the fifth gear, but just letting the car cruise. Manny saw a gentle turn in the road just ahead, and came into it still holding the one hundred and fifty.

  This is nuts Anderson, you’re going too fast, back off, you’re going to kill yourself. A slight apprehension, as Manny worked the curve. Shit, this thing feels like it’s got paws, Manny delighted, coming out of the corner. I can’t believe how this car holds the road. I went through that corner like nothing. I can’t believe a car can do that.

  Manny watched the long highway curve disappearing quickly in his rear view mirror, a wicked smile on his face.

  Thank you Stan. To hell with all the heavy shit, I feel like a kid again. Oh, oh, car coming, better start acting my age again. Manny reluctantly started to bleed off the speed, approaching the coming auto and passing at a sensible eighty-five. Oh, oh, a town coming up in the distance, I guess my fun is over for the day.