Kat nodded. She made a mental note to pick up a gift for both of them but knew it wouldn’t be enough. She’d been through this before. It started in college when well-meaning friends would offer their help so she could go out on a date. But then came the inevitable request for something in return that she couldn’t give. Not that she could blame them. Friendships were not about always taking and never giving. It had felt good, for a little while, to feel as though there was a chance she could have a normal life, that all she had to do was seize the day.
“How did it go with Alex?” Crista gave her a meaningful look.
Kat began to form her lie, got ready to tell Crista that she was reading too much into things between her and Alex.
“He doesn’t want to get romantically involved,” she said simply. It was easier to tell the truth.
“I don’t think it’s a matter of want, more a deep-seated fear of dating a woman who holds him accountable for how he behaves.”
“That’s the nice way of putting it.”
Crista linked arms with Kat. “If you ask me, you’ve dodged a bullet. As mean as he sounds in the office, he’s an incredibly gentle and thoughtful boyfriend. If you think you’ve got it bad now, it would be a whole lot worse for you later.”
Kat wondered whether Crista knew about Alex’s history with the girl he claimed to have hurt. She’d seen the gentle Alex that Crista was talking about. She couldn’t imagine him ever hurting a girl. There had to be more to the story.
“How about we go out for a girls’ dinner one night and do an Alex detox?”
Kat smiled. “Why don’t you stay? I can order pizza or Chinese.”
Crista looked at her watch then bit her lip. “Ugh, I wish I could but I have to get back to the office.”
“This late?”
“Nathan has been rewriting the donor briefs with the general’s endorsement. I’ve got to approve them tonight.”
And yet she’d driven all this way to check on her mother. Crista put the laptop in her bag and hoisted it on her shoulder. “So Nathan and I are going hiking tomorrow morning.”
“You’re taking a day off?” Kat feigned shock.
Crista laughed. “I know, but it’s Saturday and I’ve realized that all I do is go to work. I can’t remember the last time I had a home-cooked meal, got more than five hours of sleep or had a real friend.”
Kat tilted her head. What could she say? It wasn’t as if she could give Crista any advice. “Listen, nothing changes until you do something differently. Taking the day off and going out with Nathan is a start. Who knows where it’ll lead. Stay here a second.”
She went to her freezer and pulled out a Tupperware container. She handed it to Crista. “I freeze meals for nights when I don’t feel like cooking. It’s not the same as a fresh-cooked dinner but it is homemade.”
Crista smiled widely, put down her bag and gave Kat a hug. “Oh, my God, that’s the most thoughtful thing anybody has ever done for me.”
“It’s nothing, really, especially considering what you’ve done for me.”
Crista stepped back, surprised. “Friendships aren’t quid pro quo, Kat.”
Kat had never seen it that way, but the words were nice to hear. Maybe things would be different with Crista.
She had just closed the door after wishing Crista goodbye when there was a knock.
She smiled when she saw Crista. “Did you change your mind about ordering in?”
Crista bit her lip. “There’s something you should know.”
Kat motioned for her to come inside but Crista shook her head. “I was specifically asked not to tell you, but...”
Kat’s stomach flipped. It had to be something related to her mother.
Crista shifted on her feet and Kat placed a hand on her shoulder. “Crista, please. I’ve been taking care of my mom since I was six. I’ve been worried about her, so if you know something...”
“She’s been talking to the senator.”
Kat had been expecting any number of things; that her mother had been hiding her medications, watching horror movies, which gave her nightmares, online shopping for things they didn’t need again. But this was a shock.
“What? How?”
“I’m not sure when it started, but she’s been talking to him on the phone at night. He stopped by to see her when you were gone.”
“About what?”
Crista shrugged. “I wasn’t here when he came. I only heard her side of the phone conversation, and it seemed like they were making plans but I didn’t get any details.” She looked around as if she was waiting for someone to come arrest her. “I shouldn’t have said anything.” She turned and left.
Kat stared at Crista’s retreating figure. Why was her mother talking to her father after all these years?
The sound of the bedroom door opening grabbed her attention. Kat gave her mom a hug and was surprised to see clear eyes and pink cheeks. If she wasn’t mistaken, her face even seemed a little fuller.
“Mom, you look great.”
Her mother smiled. “I thought you might be hungry. I made dinner—your favorite macaroni and cheese. It’s in the refrigerator.”
Kat’s eyes widened. She couldn’t remember the last time her mother had cooked. Macaroni and cheese was the only meal that ever tasted good when she was a child. It was the only dish Kat could make without burning. Emilia took it out of the fridge and put it in the microwave. After it was done, Kat forked a bite into her mouth, not knowing what to expect. It was delicious, made from scratch.
She took the container to the living room, where her mother had turned on the TV. “Mom, this hits the spot. Thank you so much.” Kat gave her a kiss on the cheek.
Her mother beamed. She’d obviously been taking her medications while Kat was gone. The nurse knocked on the door and Kat let her in. It was her mother’s usual nurse, Carol, and Kat greeted her warmly.
The nurse checked her mother’s vital signs. “She’s doing really well. I was concerned when she went off the lithium, but after the first night...”
“Wait—what? She hasn’t taken her lithium?”
The nurse shook her head. “She wouldn’t take it the first night you were away. Your aunt was here and said she’d handle it. When I came back the second night, the day nurse had left a note that she’d talked to the doctor and he okayed her going off it because she was on such a low dose to begin with.”
Kat took a deep breath. It had taken her months to get her mother to agree to go on lithium to help control her moods. She had strict instructions for the nurses to make sure she took it. Aunt Luce had no right to undo all the work she’d done to help her mother stabilize. It had taken weeks to get her mother’s levels right, and now Kat would have to call the doctor to start all over.
Anger bubbled inside her, but she resisted the urge to yell at the nurse. It wasn’t her fault; it was Kat’s fault for leaving her mom. For thinking she had a chance at normalcy. Then a thought hit her: Did all this have something to do with the visit from her father? Now the other shoe had really dropped. No matter how genuine a friendship Crista might offer her, no one could protect her mother. It was Kat’s responsibility; one that she could never take a break from, even to seize the day.
“For what it’s worth, your mom actually seems to be doing better.”
Kat looked at Emilia, sitting on the couch with a smile on her face. She did seem to be doing well. The last time she’d gone off the lithium, Kat had come home to find she had dumped two ten-pound bags of potting soil on the kitchen floor, convinced they’d be better off creating a garden in the kitchen so they could have fruits and vegetables in the winter. Her mother had tracked dirt all over the house, and Kat had spent over a week cleaning it all up.
This time, her mom had made dinner. Something was going on between her and
the senator, and Kat needed to find out what it was before her mother went into another downward spiral. It was only a matter of time before she’d go from the happy side of normal to full-on mania. Kat knew the crash back to a depressive state would be bad. The trip to Iraq had been a departure from her routine, but it was time to get back to reality, and she couldn’t change the life she had. It had just taken her longer than Alex to figure this out.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Are you coming into the office today?
KAT GLARED AT the text. It was Saturday; were they really expecting her to work? What was Crista doing at the office? Why wasn’t she out hiking with Nathan?
You need to come in. ASAP.
Had something happened? She drove as fast as she dared and arrived at campaign headquarters to see the entire place hopping. Not only were the usual staffers there, but they seemed to have multiplied. She caught Nathan on his way to the coffeepot. “Who are all these people?”
“Volunteers, to deal with the situation and press coverage.”
“What situation?”
Nathan stopped. “You haven’t heard?”
“Heard what?”
“I’m going to go get Crista. Don’t move.”
Kat stood there feeling stupid. All around her, the cubicles were abuzz, people moving with a sense of purpose. They were obviously in crisis mode, and Kat felt wholly inadequate. She clicked on her BlackBerry, belatedly realizing she should have checked her emails. There were several from Crista marked urgent.
“Hey!”
She looked up to see that the person who had snatched the phone from her was none other than Crista.
“You haven’t seen your emails.”
Kat shook her head. Crista grabbed her hand and pulled her into Alex’s office, closing the door behind her. A cold dread spread through her.
“Just tell me, Crista.”
“Alex’s transport to the airport encountered some IEDs. He and the two security personnel that were escorting him are missing.”
Her heart stopped. She grabbed the desk and sank into a chair. Somehow she found her voice. “What does that mean? Missing?”
“We don’t know. They could’ve been kidnapped, or they could’ve died and the car could have been stolen.” Crista was talking so fast, Kat could barely keep up. “There’s no specific information, but the senator has talked to the general directly and asked him for his help. The army has sent out patrols to see what they can find.”
Kat’s knees were shaking so badly she was afraid to stand up. “When will we know?”
She placed a hand on Kat’s shoulder, but the slight shake in her voice made Crista’s words less reassuring. “It could be any moment, or we might not hear for days. These situations are highly volatile, but we’re doing everything we can.”
“What can I do?”
“There’s a lot, and nothing to do. We’re getting a lot of press calls about the IED bill. Alex’s transport wasn’t the only thing ambushed—there were twenty simultaneous IED attacks. We’ve lost a number of soldiers.”
“What can I do?” She knew she sounded like a broken record but she had to do something.
“The senator’s appearing on the Sunday morning shows tomorrow. Can you write some counterpoints for him on the IED bill so he’s prepared to answer questions?”
Kat nodded even though that was the last thing she wanted to do. Couldn’t the campaign stop for just a minute?
“I have to go, but stay here, take your time.” Crista closed the door behind her.
Kat didn’t know how long she sat in the office. Her entire body felt numb. She looked at Alex’s chair, picturing his smiling, smirking, smug face. The warmth of his dark eyes pierced her soul. He was alive. Maybe it was just wishful thinking or faith, but if he had died, she was sure she would’ve felt it in her heart.
She went to her desk and booted her computer. The chocolates he had sent almost a week ago on the senator’s behalf sat there taunting her. Hours passed before she completed the talking points. She’d been arguing these points relentlessly, but instead of focusing on writing them out, she kept refreshing her email to see if there was any news.
Each minute seemed maddeningly slow, yet the day went by quickly. Kat called her aunt, but she couldn’t leave her house. Closing her eyes, Kat tried to think through all her options. She didn’t want to leave headquarters in case something happened. But could she leave her mother alone? The nursing agency was already scheduled to do the nightly check. Her mother seemed to be doing well, didn’t she? She hadn’t had a chance to talk to the doctor, but if her mother had been off lithium for days now it didn’t matter if she was off for a few more since she seemed stable. As it was, they had to wait for an appointment before the doctor would put her back on the meds.
Kat decided to stay at headquarters. It was more important for Kat to be here for Alex.
“Kat, there’s news.”
She stood so fast, her head spun. She raced into the conference room, where Crista had the phone on speaker. Nathan was there, too, along with several other campaign staffers. The senator was still on the campaign trail but had called in.
“They found the car Alex was traveling in. We’re on the phone with the senator and First Lieutenant Luke Williams.”
Hope bloomed in her chest. She’d seen Luke in action. He was a man who genuinely cared. “Go ahead, Lieutenant.”
“We tracked the GPS locator in the car. They disabled the navigation feature, but this is one of the newer models that has redundancy built in. The car was in a chop shop in Baghdad. We were able to recover it and there was some blood in the vehicle, but not a lot. Our best guess is someone was injured, but not seriously.”
“What about the occupants?”
“We don’t have a lead on them. They were most likely kidnapped.”
“Alex always has his BlackBerry on him. Can you track him with that?” Kat didn’t know where she found the presence of mind to make the suggestion.
“Kat, is that you?”
“Yes.” Kat was impressed he recognized her voice, given the circumstances.
“We’ve tried tracking his BlackBerry and the cell phones for the two security firm personnel, but they’re completely dark. My guess is whoever grabbed the men took the batteries out of the phones.”
There was a collective sigh of frustration in the room.
“For what it’s worth, we’re preparing for a ransom demand. If they were dead, we would’ve found their bodies by now.”
The senator thanked Luke. Crista stabbed the end button on the phone. Kat caught her eye and could see the other woman’s frustration mirror her own. She remembered Alex’s laser-sharp focus when they’d traveled together to the base. Had he been distracted when this incident happened? Could it have something to do with the kiss they’d shared? She’d been so focused on her own needs, so overcome with the devastation in Iraq that she needed to make sure her heart was capable of feeling something positive. She’d gone to Alex because she knew he’d ignite her soul; she wanted to know that she wasn’t dead inside, that she was capable of loving again. If the kiss hadn’t made him so uncomfortable, they’d have come home together, with extra security.
“You’re blaming yourself, aren’t you?” Crista was gathering her papers. Kat realized with a start that everyone else had already left.
“If I hadn’t come back early, if I’d insisted on returning with him, we would have had extra security...”
“He was going to go to Iraq with or without you. And I’m the one who arranged the security detail. Alex always wants to go with the cheapest option and you were the high-value target. We’ll go crazy with the what-ifs.”
Kat shook her head. “I pushed it with him. That’s why he sent me home earlier.”
“He woul
dn’t have been desperate to get the general’s endorsement if it weren’t for me.”
The catch in Crista’s voice made Kat look up. She went to her side and placed an arm around her.
“The senator asked me to keep an eye on Alex. I’ve been monitoring the campaign emails and looking through his files.”
Ice chilled her veins. She dropped her arm from Crista’s shoulders.
“I told the senator that Alex was using too much political capital on the IED bill, that we were losing donors and spending too many favors.”
So the senator’s waning enthusiasm for the bill had nothing to do with Kat’s conversation with him. Crista had been sabotaging Alex’s efforts.
“How could you? I thought you cared for him, Crista,” Kat said quietly.
Crista lowered her head, obviously fighting tears. “I feel horrible about it. If he comes out of this alive, I’ll tell him everything.”
Kat left the conference room feeling numb. She wanted to blame Crista, but she knew it wasn’t her. If there was one thing she’d learned, it was that they were all playing a game, one where each person hated the rules, but no one had the courage to change those rules by breaking them.
Around one in the morning, someone handed out space blankets, the thin aluminum sheets used by runners to keep warm after a marathon. Staff found places to nap: in their seats, heads on tables, even the floor. Kat didn’t know of any other workplace where people put their lives on hold to stand in support of their boss, especially not a man who drove them harder than anyone she’d ever encountered. It wasn’t about Alex, though; it was about the camaraderie of the campaign. They were friends who were bonded closer than family, even if some members were backstabbing each other.
Around four in the morning, the senator quietly arrived. Kat was the only one who noticed because she couldn’t sleep. He went to his office and she followed.
“You can’t sleep, either?”
He nodded. His tie was loose, his usually pressed suit crumpled. “This is on me. I told Alex I was wavering on the bill. If I hadn’t, he wouldn’t have stayed to convince the general.”
The Senator's Daughter Page 16
