Relentless

by Ted W. Baxter

  Entered a one-year program in education and public community for Chicago communities that was a partnership between RIC and Archeworks

  Took ethics and morals courses

  Developed and gave four presentations for large groups

  Used social and conversational skills to complete project with Starbucks

  NORTHWESTERN UNIVERSITY

  Participated in a vocabulary intensive program for five months

  Watched CNN clips and summarized and wrote about each clip in three sentences and then spoke about it with the therapist

  PERSONAL PLAN

  Began using the dictionary to add words to my vocabulary each day

  Added idioms to my daily speech

  Continued reading books

  Acupuncture—three times a week

  Psychiatrist—once a week

  RIC IN THE CITY

  Participated in the golf program (play golf once a week)

  Practiced my golf swing at the golf range to improve balance, physical skills

  Year Four: 2008

  PERSONAL PLAN

  Enrolled in an English program at the Feltre School to learn the language and learn to write stories

  Sought out an English as a Second Language instructor from Loyola University

  Designed an ideal aphasia program for stroke survivors as a strategic planning exercise

  Reduced acupuncture to once a week

  Researched aphasia-related nutrition to find foods that helped my fluency, memory, comprehension like blueberries, pineapples, and caffeine in coffee

  Decided not to pursue some recovery avenues, such as using a hyperbaric chamber or learning to sing

  Year Five: 2009 and After

  PERSONAL PLAN

  Gave more presentations to continue improving my articulation and fluency with the goal of becoming a public speaker

  Met with stroke survivors to help them and to socialize

  PLANNED A MOVE TO NEWPORT BEACH , CALIFORNIA , ON MY OWN

  STARTED AT THE THERAPY CLINIC AT SAN DIEGO STATE UNIVERSITY

  Entered a new book club at SDSU

  Participated in aphasia research at SDSU and had one-onone therapy

  PURSUE VOLUNTEER PROGRAMS , BOARD MEMBERSHI P, AND PHILANTHROPIC OPPORTUNITIES

  University of California, Irvine (hospital and campus)

  St. Jude’s Hospital

  Hoag Hospital

  American Heart and Stroke Association

  Laguna Art Museum

  Laguna College of Art and Design

  APPENDIX B

  Sample of Therapy Exercises

  All my therapists from top-flight programs gave me grammar exercises. Going through all these exercises, which were from kindergarten to college SAT level, helped me get better. But, it was slow and tedious.

  It was interesting to watch the levels of grammar, articles of speech, and even the choice of words get better and better each year, but I had to study!

  To me, it was starting from scratch, from the kindergarten level—which, at that point, I learned nouns. From there, I learned about different words that meant the same concept, the articles of speech, simple sentences, complex sentences, putting different concepts in a single sentence, etc.

  These are examples of exercises I had from various programs I had across the United States (e.g., University of Michigan Aphasia Program, Chicago Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago, Northwestern University, San Diego State University, private therapists):

  EXERCISE 1: PICTURE OF NOUNS

  EXERCISE 2

  I used language index flash cards obtained from a bookstore, and I progressively got better, from grade-school to college level.

  I can’t quite explain why, but if you simply read through each card three times a day, you will be amazed at what you pick up.

  Skill Area: Language

  Ages: 5 through 12

  Grades: K through 7

  EXAMPLE 1

  A flash card that has:

  “Who was the main actor in Mission Impossible?”

  Answer on other side: Tom Cruise

  EXAMPLE 2

  A flash card that has:

  “Who was Magellan?”

  Answer on other side: A Portuguese explorer who led the first expedition that sailed around the earth

  EXERCISE 3

  Tell the story of this family in the picture:

  EXERCISE 4

  I learned, reviewed, and repeated numerous exercises that seem very simple, but they weren’t at that point—as a person who just had a stroke and now has aphasia.

  Simple exercises like this:

  EXERCISE 5 : THE “BIBLE” OF LEARNING THE TYPES OF WORDS

  The Oxford Picture Dictionary

  by Norma Shapiro and Jayme Adelson-Goldstein

  An example of the contents:

  Everyday Language

  A Classroom

  Personal Information

  School

  Studying

  Everyday Conversation

  The Telephone

  Weather

  Describing Things

  Colors

  Prepositions

  Numbers and Measurements

  Time

  The Calendar

  Money

  Shopping

  EXERCISE 6: SPEECH SCRIPTS (SAMPLES I USED FROM REHABILITATION INSTITUTE OF CHICAGO )

  Try to memorize the words, helps conversation: tone and the content

  Try to memorize the key points which I have put in the right margin

  TALKING STOCKS

  You: Nice to meet you. Are you from New York originally?

  Mary: Oh no. I moved here from Boston. I transferred jobs.

  Try to remember: New York originally

  You: What type of work do you do?

  Mary: I work at Citicorp in the mortgage loan department.

  Try to remember: Type of work do you do

  You: Oh, I used to be with Citicorp Investment Bank. So, what are interest rates like these days?

  Mary: Well, we’re waiting to hear what Bernanke is gonna say next.

  Try to remember: Citicorp Investment, Interest rates like these days

  You: Do you follow the stock market for your line of work?

  Mary: Not for work, but personally I do.

  Try to remember: Stock market for line of work

  You: What kinds of stocks have you invested in? I’ve got some tech, some utilities, and also health care. I think I’m well diversified.

  Mary: Sounds like you’ve tried to spread it out.

  Try to remember: Kind of stocks—tech/utilities/health care, diversified

  You: Yes, if one area tanks, you’ve got money somewhere else. Then, I can take more risks with my money.

  Mary: Hmmm . . . I think I should talk to my broker.

  Try to remember: Area tanks, got money somewhere else

  You: The idea is diversification. I think you might consider diversifying your portfolio. Your broker will discuss this with you.

  Mary: It doesn’t seem like stocks have been moving much lately.

  Try to remember: Diversification

  You: Yeah, that’s true. Well, it was nice talking to you. I’ve gotta run.

  Mary: Okay, bye.

  Try to remember: Nice talking

  Questions for Discussion

  How did Ted’s drive and determination aid in his recovery?

  What are some facts about stroke recovery you learned from reading this book? Do you feel more aware of the symptoms of a stroke? Do you think you are better able to take action in a situation such as Ted and Kelly’s?

  Do you know anyone who has suffered a stroke or other traumatic brain injury? How has their recovery compared to Ted’s? How has your relationship with them been affected by the injury? Does reading this book make you want to change how you interact with them?

  Discuss the role relationships play in Ted’s recovery (e.g., speech therapists, caregiver, wife, friends, family
members, neurologists).

  Has reading Ted’s story made you want to change the way you live your life?

  A major goal of Ted’s recovery is to give back. What are some things you could do to give back to the community and stroke survivors?

  Has reading this book increased your awareness of aphasia? Has it changed the way you might react to someone you meet with a speech impediment?

  How has reading Ted’s story made you appreciate the little things we take for granted, like ordering coffee at Starbucks or speaking to a stranger in the street?

  What are some of the things that Ted did in his recovery that you would consider doing yourself after experiencing an incident like a stroke or traumatic brain injury to help your recovery?

  Who can benefit from reading this book aside from stroke survivors?

  Why did Ted try activities like art to aid in his recovery? Do you think that using a vocation like art (e.g., joining a museum or taking an art class) helps with stroke recovery?

  Ted eventually joined a book club for stroke survivors. How important was this to his speech recovery?

  Do you know the difference between the features of your right brain and your left brain? Which side of Ted’s brain was more affected after he experienced the stroke? How did he overcome this to be able to reintegrate into society?

  Does Ted see himself as completely recovered?

  How did Ted prevent himself from going into a deep depression after his stroke?

  Which passage in Relentless that describes Ted accepting his aphasia and making the decision to deal with it stood out to you the most?

  How has this book changed the way you would you deal with aphasia both personally and with the people in the world who have it?

  Discuss the role that independence plays in Ted’s story.

  When Ted was an inpatient at Rehab of Chicago, he figured out when no one was watching—between the nurses’ shifts—so that he could try to walk by himself. Why was he so obsessed with getting himself out of bed and trying to walk when no one else was around?

  Author Q&A

  Q: What was your writing process like for this book? How did your aphasia affect your ability to write and what are some ways you overcame it?

  A: When I just started the process of writing a memoir, which was about four to five years ago, my writing was below average, and because of that, I almost stopped. I had to really think about how I could get my ideas and thoughts from my brain onto paper. I had to put those ideas into sentences and then into a draft of the manuscript.

  When I first had the idea to write a memoir, I knew I would need a ghostwriter to help. I used a dictionary and English usage texts to help me as well. And my comprehension of what I experienced when I had the stroke and my recovery became clearer every year. As I moved forward with the project, I noticed that each year my writing improved, and I continued to practice. So eventually, I overcame the aphasia factor.

  Q: Were there any times you seriously considered giving up during your recovery?

  A: Yes, after Kelly introduced the golf teacher to me when we went to Scottsdale for a vacation of sorts and also during several stages of rehab. I would practice my golf swing and couldn’t do anything to hit the ball beyond ten or twenty yards. It was so frustrating, and it wasn’t because I didn’t have my strength back or I didn’t know the sport of golf; it was my coordination and taking my time and keeping a calm presence—it had to do with all of the little things that go into making a fluid swing and hitting the ball.

  Q: What was more difficult for you—the physical or mental parts of recovery?

  A: The mental parts of recovery were the hardest.

  I had to succumb to the fact that I have aphasia, and with that there are limitations. Once I accepted that, speech and talking became easier. It was very slow at first, but I could see that achievements could be made.

  Q: What do you consider to be the most important thing people should know about having a stroke or stroke recovery?

  A: Just know that you cannot give up. There are many options that you can take to help you get better. And practice, practice, practice, even when you want to quit or give up or it looks like a bleak or somber situation. Try again the next day or next week or even next month. Keep trying—persistency is key!

  Q: In the epilogue, you mention that you wouldn’t change the fact that you had a stroke or any other subsequent events in your life, but if you could change anything about your life before the stroke would you?

  A: In that sense, yes, I would have done a better job communicating with my loved ones, and I would have taken more time to hang out with friends and my family..They would have been more of a priority.

  Q: What accomplishment are you most proud of since your stroke?

  A: When I went to the program called Archeworks in Chicago, the first time I got up in the front of a small group of listeners (almost 100 people) since I had my stroke and delivered a presentation on our progress. I was nervous and worried that I would mess up before I actually delivered the speech.

  Q: What are some things that you still struggle with today? Do you expect to overcome them eventually?

  A: I always experience anxiety in some of the situations I am in, which usually means my speech is not as fluent or I miss some of the words that I usually have no trouble with or my sentences are a little off. But I measure myself on my progress from year to year. I always make sure that I am improving from one speech to the next or just in conversation. And I continue to practice.

  So, yes, I will eventually overcome my struggles with speech and aphasia.

  Q: What kind of therapy was most helpful to you and why do you think this was so?

  A: One to one private therapy: We began with verbs and prepositions and how to use them in sentences and then moved to casual conversational speaking. It gave me the opportunity to practice my speech and state my ideas with the same therapist, who I could bond with and form a relationship with. This became someone who really cared about me as a person and was able to give me the necessary attention.

  Q: Obviously, your determination played a significant role in your remarkable recovery. Do you think it’s possible for others to reach the level of recovery at the speed you did without that same level of determination?

  A: Hahaha . . . That’s a tough question. I think it would be very tough for a person to achieve the level of recovery that I had without putting determination into the mix. Determination was my bread and butter . . . I woke up every day and made sure that I did something that day to recover my abilities after my stroke. But it really depends on what type of medical incident you’ve had.

  Q: How has your stroke and recovery journey changed your relationships with people—both those close to you and strangers or acquaintances?

  A: My relationships with my family have definitely changed for the better. We have become very close. My relationships with old friends and acquaintances have somewhat declined, mainly due to my aspirations now (health, hospitals, and nonprofits), which are different that those of my old friends and acquaintances. I have closer relationships with real friends than before. You realize who your real friends are when they call you just to talk and check on you, even when you can’t talk back, which was my situation for a while.

  Q: What is the next step for you? Do you have any new projects or goals in mind?

  A: I want to continue to help organizations like the American Heart and Stroke Association and health institutions that support causes that relate to stroke rehabilitation and recovery.

  Q: The stroke changed pretty much all aspects of your life, but is there anything that hasn’t changed?

  A: Inside, my will, hard work, and determination haven’t changed. I’ve always enjoyed watching sports, eating great food, and enjoying good movies and plays—this hasn’t changed.

  About the Author

  TED W. BAXTER was born and grew up on Long Island in New York.

  He got his bachelor of business adm
inistration in three years at Hofstra University in 1984 where he majored in public accountancy. He took a job working for Price Waterhouse as an auditor and he passed all four parts of the CPA exam on the first shot. He then became a management consultant soon thereafter, focusing on financial industry clients. While he was working as a senior manager, he attended the Executive Masters Business Administration program at Wharton on the weekends, where he got his MBA, concentrating on finance and strategy.

  He built a financial services consulting practice in Tokyo for Price Waterhouse and rose to partner in record time. For the next six years (1995–2001), he lived in Tokyo and Hong Kong, traveling almost constantly between ten Asia-Pacific countries, first for Price Waterhouse and then as a Credit Suisse First Boston managing director. He left Credit Suisse First Boston, eventually landing the global finance post as a managing director at a premiere hedge fund and investment institution, Citadel Investment Group, based in Chicago.

  After spending twenty-two years in the financial industry, he retired as a global finance executive with expertise such as international banks and securities, risk management, financial products, controllership, team-building, change management, strategic planning, and information technology systems.

  Ted experienced a massive ischemic stroke in April 2005.

  Ted now volunteers his time at two hospitals in Orange County, California, providing his expertise and his experience as a stroke survivor in a communication recovery program and is involved in various philanthropic issues. He also participates as a member of the board of directors of the American Heart and Stroke Association. He does speaking engagements for health-related institutions, hospitals, and universities in California.

  Ted lives in Newport Beach, California, with his wife, Michelle, and their dog, Zorro.