Pick Your Poison (The Heart's Desire Series Book 1)

by S. E. Hall

  Yes, control freak. “No.”

  Strike two—another sharp, arousing swat to my ass—that he delivers while smirking. “Liar,” he fucks my ear in a husky timbre of sin.

  My lip curls in frisky taunt, suddenly bowing to a frown as cognition hits me.

  Cole.

  Cabot.

  Love. Lust. Give. Take.

  And impossible.

  I push off Cabot’s chest, my feet blindly finding the ground as hot tears build fast behind my eyelids. Turning to run away… away from all I want and nothing I can have… I’m stopped dead in my tracks by a large wall of man.

  Cole.

  A feral, enraged Cole. Unbridled domination exuding off him as he captures me in a merciless hold. “For fuck’s sake, Emery, what’s with all the damn running? Don’t know when or why you picked up this new little habit, but I will break you of it. And just where’d ya think you were headed anyway?”

  “And why haven’t you answered my question?” Cabot’s body heat on my back joins his gruff voice.

  Trapped, literally, in between the Keller twins. Trapped, mentally, between Heaven and Hell, unsure whether to surrender to the lustful ideas flooding my mind or shudder in panic.

  “Say something, Em,” Cole prompts, gliding a hand up my arm.

  “Now,” Cabot commands, the trace of his fingertip across my stomach much gentler than his voice.

  “You, this, it isn’t fair,” I ramble, a high-pitched squeak of nerves. “I was headed… anywhere but here! And no, Cabot, I don’t love you the same as Cole. Not possible; you’re two different people! But, yes, I love you every bit as much. That’s the problem! Don’t you see? There’s no good answer, no happy ending, for any of us!” I thrash violently to escape their confines, a wasted effort. “Let me go. For good! I won’t choose. I can’t!”

  What’s crazy, besides me, is that, with my outburst… comes unexpected relief. Years of caged worry, want, pain, jealousy, and love finally set free, no longer my hidden burden to carry alone. But now, left behind, is a huge empty space, crater, inside me… that rapidly fills with numbness.

  Void of sensation, of any sort.

  Which is probably why—for the first time ever—I couldn’t answer if asked, which of them says it… rich, throaty, and slathered in depravity. “What if you didn’t have to?”

  Chapter Three

  Emery

  I feel the splinter, right down the middle, becoming two separate, empty shells of my former self. I turn to bury my face in Cabot’s shirt, the intoxicating mixture of cologne and him engulfing me as I choke out my muffled reply. “Don’t remind me, please. I know I don’t have to choose; already said I won’t. And before you even suggest it, no, I won’t let you two decide either. Face it, there’s nothing any of us can do, nothing more to say. And I can’t take another second of rehashing it, so I’m begging this time, just… just let me go. Home. Away. This hurts too much.”

  “Minnow, baby, look at me.” Cabot’s plea is silken affection; a tone I’ve never heard him take. ‘Baby’ is also new. I like it. Even though it only muddles my mind further… I like it. “Stubborn ass woman,” he grumbles, though not angrily, and slips a finger under my chin to lift my face to his. “Hey there,” he polishes the words with flirty finesse, grinning. “You didn’t let me finish.”

  A warm, familiar hand caresses its way up the back of my thigh, triggering sparks of desire to rapid fire in my belly. Breasts. Toes. Everywhere. “Hear him out, Em. Relax, open your mind and let go. We’ll take care of the rest. All the rest. The talking. Thinking. You. We’ve got you. Do you trust that? Us?” Cole’s hand climbs higher as he reassures me, hinting at my ass.

  I bob my head once—I trust them both, completely, with anything—and Cabot’s grin grows in triumph. “I never answered you either, now did I?” That wink of his reaches through the darkness… or maybe my buddy in the moon turned up the voltage, just for me, so I wouldn’t miss a thing. “Emery McCall, my kind, angelic beauty, I love you. Always have, always will. You’re perfect; every single thing about you. You’re my absolute favorite person, and part, of this entire world.”

  “When the hell did you grow a silver tongue?” Cole scoffs.

  Cabot shrugs, scrubbing a hand over his sheepish smile. “Need to get this exactly right. Been waitin’ a long damn time, too long, for you to figure things out for yourself, Em. Done waitin’. Seems to me that you need it spelled out for you. I’m more than happy to help out with that. Gave sweet. Now, I’m gonna give it to ya straight.”

  “Easy-” Cole begins.

  “Fuck ‘easy,’” Cabot finishes. “She’s ready. Sick of the tiptoeing shit. Emery”—his intense stare locks onto my, what has to be baffled, gaze—“you’re ours. Mine. Cole’s. You belong to both of us, equally. You’re not going anywhere, ever, except our home, life, and bed. Starting right now. Until… the end. Understand?”

  My head shakes back and forth wildly as my mouth opens, closes, over and again, a confused guppy… a million questions, scandalous thoughts, and vivid images unable to find voice. Meanwhile, Cole’s hand has slinked underneath my shorts, groping my bare ass… certainly not helping bring the blurry into focus.

  “Whatever the hell you’re doing, let up, you greedy fuckin’ bastard; she can’t concentrate. I’ll be breaking your arms for that shit later too,” Cabot hisses, and balances out his brother’s overzealous touch by tenderly tucking my hair behind my ear. “Ask anything you want, Minnow. No need to be embarrassed. No shame. No more hiding. Ask.”

  “Wh, I mean, how-” I gulp, pausing to take a deep breath and a much-needed moment to let the countless dots bouncing around in my brain stop and connect. “Cole, come stand in front of me too, please.”

  “Likin’ where I am just fine,” he hums, firming his grasp on my ass cheeks.

  “I’m sure you are,” I snicker, “but I’m only going to be able to say—ask — these things once, if that. So, let go of my ass and get yours where I can see you both at the same time. Need to see your eyes.”

  “My eyes? Em, nobody’s thinkin’ ‘bout eyes right now,” Cole says, as he moves like asked.

  He’s wrong. Someone’s very curious as to the why of my request, studying me intensely with his brows perked and a grin tugging at the corners of his full lips.

  Cabot. My tenacious contemplator.

  “Because?” he prompts on an intrigued drawl.

  “Because, your and Cole’s eyes,” I pause, flipping my focus back and forth between them, my skilled eye easily spotting the glaring differences, “are my favorite books.”

  “She’s saying she can read our eyes like books.”

  “Got it, wiseass,” Cole quips, giving Cabot a shove.

  It’s the truth. My Keller twins stand at identical, over six-foot height. They keep their dark, almost black, hair cut identically short. And strong, Romanesque jawlines, noses, and plump lips come with each. But their eyes—while the same size, shape, and shade of hunter green—hold stories as unique as… well, them.

  And right now, in spite of night’s shroud, Cole and Cabot’s eyes are glowing with very different agendas.

  Cole wants to pounce. Ravage me. Fuck me. In the woods, like a wild animal.

  Cabot? Usually the “more aggressive, bullish one?” He wants finality. My doubtless, concrete acceptance of him, branded, his soul forever imprinted on mine.

  So… I’ll have a life with Cabot after Cole gets a taste?

  “You know better than that!” Cole snarls in reply to my obviously not internally asked question, his palm landing hot and heavy on my ass. “Some fucking credit, please? Just told you I love you, Em. How you gonna put me, especially before Cabot’s barbarian ass, in the one and done corner?”

  “I didn’t mean, I just, I don’t know!” My cry’s desperate, a wail of confusion. Cabot moves in, and his brother aside, brushing the hair off my neck. “Please tell me what’s going on,” I whisper.

  “Ah, Minnow”—his lips feather
mine, words a warm tickle—“I think you already know. You’re just having trouble accepting it. Tucked it away as impossible. Unconventional. Whatever. Need ya to find it, pull it out, because this? This. Is. Happening.”

  “What is?” I squeak.

  Cole’s back—at my back—his body relaxed and pressed taut to my tense one. “We are,” he solicits my ear. “You, me, and Cabot. You love us both, and we worship you, so, we’re going to share you.”

  Still confused, perhaps even more so now, I ramble out my every question. “Share me? Tonight? Tomorrow? Every other Sunday? That solves nothing! I want love, a life, kids, a family! I can’t have any of that with two men.”

  “Says who?” Cabot laughs, shaking his head. “Emery, the whole town already thinks you’re fucking both of us, babe. Let’s give ‘em something real to talk about. And all the rest? Not only is it possible… it’s easy. Whichever one of us you officially marry, same family, same last name. Kids? We’re identical twins, gorgeous; I’ll let you figure out the biology on that one.” He winks, beaming from ear to ear as he rubs his hands together. “So, we done here?”

  “Fuck yes,” Cole growls as he scoops me off my feet and throws me over his shoulder. “Lead the way.”

  ****

  I must inadvertently reveal my awe because Cabot chuckles out, “Told ya she’d like the tub,” then issues me a challenge he knows I won’t be able to resist. About to have a threesome for the first time be damned; I’ll never back down from a face-off with Cabot. “Tell ya what, Minnow. Even though I’ve been answering your questions all night, a blind man could see you’re just itchin’ to ask God only knows how many more. So, how’s about we make this round a lil’ more… interesting?” His cocksure smirk grows and his eyes darken with mischief.

  “What’d you have in mind, Keller?” I raise my chin and brows while squaring my shoulders, prepping for battle.

  “You’d better know what the hell you’re doing,” Cole warns his brother.

  Cabot’s stare stays glued on me as he holds a hand up and out to answer him, their universal sign for ‘I got this.’ And he probably does. I called his bluff out of principle, precedent… in no shape to even come close to winning. I’m quivering with anticipation, on a big-enough-to-accommodate-three-people-fucking bed, in an unfamiliar room—with the two sexiest men alive, who informed me earlier tonight that they plan to share me. Yeah… I’m a little off my game.

  “I’ll answer the rest of your questions; without you having to say a word. For every one I nail, you take off a piece of clothing. You in?”

  “What happens if you get one wrong?” Clinging to defiance, I cross my arms over my chest… then my legs, hoping it helps quell the throbbing between them.

  “Then Cole and I take turns peeling it off for you.” He tosses me a wink and easy smile, skimming the tip of his tongue along his plump bottom lip.

  “But-”

  “Shh.” He presses two fingers over my mouth. “I’ll answer that one too. Ready?” I nod shakily and he dips in to kiss my forehead. “Relax. You know we’ve got you,” he whispers, standing tall, slowly raking his eyes now burning with desire, over me. “You’re still wondering about this room; where you are. You’ve seen and been in here, several times… when it was my room.”

  I jerk my head left, right, study the window, then close my eyes to… I’ll be damned. “When… how’d…?”

  He clicks his tongue and laughs before continuing, “While you were gone on your trip. I wasn’t about to move into Cole’s room, with my woman. He felt the same way about mine; so, we made it ours. A brand new space that we all move into together. Oh, almost forgot; that’s why it’s damn near empty too. Figure we’d let the lady decorate her own bedroom; woman’s touch and all. That goes for the whole house, baby. Have at it, whatever you want. Annnd… I just went three for three, didn’t I?”

  Bastard. Beautiful, thoughtful, breathtaking bastard.

  “Pretty sure you did, but there’s more than three. Something else. Something bigger. Am I right?” The bed dips as Cole climbs on, moving me into his lap and wrapping me up in his arms.

  I burrow my face in his neck… inhaling him, his essence coursing through my system—an instant balm for my nerves, giving me strength. “This isn’t a game. No Truth or Dare, Strip Trivia, or other such trite bullshit. This is my life, our lives. The universal bedroom’s a great idea, in theory, but what about a one-on-one connection with your soul mate? Knowing that you, only you, are someone’s sunrise and set; the end-all, love of their life?” My heart starts slowly fracturing again—much like that single, deadly step unknowingly taken onto snow-covered ice—and the realization, too late, when the first crack sounds.

  “Hush now, love,” Cole soothes in tender whispers upon my hair. “Cabot and I both have our own rooms too; for time alone with you, ourselves, or when you need your space.”

  “Speaking of my space, what about my house?”

  “Keep it. Sell it. Rent it out.” He shrugs. “That’s totally up to you, Em. We’d never tell you what to do about that. But, you will sleep under this roof. Every. Night.”

  “Every. Night,” Cabot deems it necessary to repeat… in a high-handed growl. “Minnow, quit over-fuckin’-thinking all possible negatives and Let. Us. Love. You, Dammit! Can you do that? Trust us? Put what we all could have, want, deserve first? Believe in our trio enough to beat the odds, obstacles, when and if they come up?” Red-faced and pulse visibly pounding in his neck, he starts pacing a line in the carpet.

  “Yes.” My single, soft-spoken adamant word freezes Cabot on a dime as Cole kisses my cheek. “Now don’t freak out, but I have just one, last concern. Then that’s it; I promise.” Neither say anything, their combined, anxious worry thickening the air in the room. “I get two men, who love, make love, babies, and a life with only me. But you-” I have to stop and breathe—in, out, again—to deny a whimper. “Won’t you guys feel half fulfilled? Wonder, not only what I have with your brother—when you’re not watching, if and how it compares to what I have with you—but deep down, if I truly love you equally? Or… jealous? You’re both protective, possessive, confident, and… what’s the word… oh, alpha!” I snap my fingers. “It’d break my heart if I thought I was breaking either one of yours.”

  “God, I love you,” Cabot murmurs. Deep, sexy, and filled with respect and reverence that shoots straight to my soul.

  “You really are an angel,” Cole purrs in my ear, tugging me closer against him.

  Cabot again, “Baby, the fact that you’re so worried about it just proves our point; it’s not an issue. You love us differently, because we’re different people, I know. But at the same time… you love us exactly the same. Completely. Unconditionally. Without fail. Your two halves, the only way you’re whole. And I’m gonna prove it to you, once and for all.”

  Chapter Four

  Emery

  Cole massages my neck and shoulders, conquering some of the nervous tension, while Cabot covers my eyes with the blindfold and ties it behind my head, gently cinching it once more to make sure it’s good and tight.

  “Know why I’m doing this, Minnow?” Cabot tries but fails to keep his voice deceptively casual—the significance behind his words, and the answers—anything but casual.

  “No,” I fib in a shaky whisper, wanting to hear his explanation for the only one of two reasons he’s willing to admit, and quite possibly, even consciously aware.

  “We all—yes, that includes you—already know you can tell our voices and eyes apart. Now, it’s high-time you realize some things we already do, but you don’t. Yet. Emery, you know and love me for me, and Cole for Cole; soul-deep. You’re attuned to everything I am that he’s not and vice-versa.

  “So no, there’ll never be any jealousy, because your love for me is mine, no one else’s. And Cole’s, same thing. From this point on, we’re not gonna talk, and you can’t see”—his laugh’s soft and quick—“but you’ll still see, baby… in a new way, the one that m
atters… You. Know. Us. For. Us.”

  “Okay,” I wisp out, tingling with excitement and anxious to finally be freed—to love, without worry—two men. Right out in the open, unconcerned what anyone watching might think. If they’re okay with it; happy, know I love them both, then no one else’s judgment matters.

  Exactly why I’m going along with this whole blindfolded thing so easily, my reasons two-fold. Foremost, to indeed prove to myself everything Cabot just said. But also, which I’ll forever keep my own lil’ secret, for them… because I know my men. Only one of them can be the first to take me, claim me as theirs; and even if I do figure out which it is, I’ll never say so. Deep down, they know that, thus eliminating, or at least easing it to livable proportions, any jealousy, hurt, or resentment toward the other. Honestly, I’m praying it takes me a while to snap out of surreal shock and I can’t tell. I’d so much rather never be sure. My heart will gladly accept that it was both of them… as long as my mind doesn’t constantly argue.

  A loaded silence fills the room; lest the ragged, rapid breaths of three mingling into one perfect melody of appetite. The bed shifts beneath me as Cole rises, my body tensing with apprehension. This is it… my wildest, unimaginable dreams about to become reality. Cabot and Cole Keller—the men who’ve owned me, heart and soul, for years—finally claiming what’s always been theirs.

  Being blindfolded kicks my other four senses into high-gear; my hearing fighting hardest to reach through the darkness. I hone in on the set of similar, yet distinctive, sounds—they’re taking off their boots, and presumably, socks. The rushed movements are those of Cole; Cabot’s unhurried.

  Next come the shirts. No need in closing my eyes to envision it; the vibrant picture plays out on the black cloth covering them. Cole reaches behind his neck and yanks his gray t-shirt off with a whish, tossing it aside. And amazing even myself, I simultaneously listen as Cabot slips the last of seven buttons on his shirt through the hole. He tugs on one sleeve, then the other, and lets it fall to the floor.