Pick Your Poison (The Heart's Desire Series Book 1)

by S. E. Hall

  He was all of them to me. He had the heart, the money of diamonds, the power of the club, and the business mind of the spade. He's one of the most ruthless and most loving men I've ever known. How can one man be so many faces?

  I slide the red straps over my shoulders, baring my naked back to the world. He'll be able to see the tattoo, and that's what I want. Bending to slide the straps around my ankles and shifting my boobs into perfect position, I start planning my night. I'll need three men, a few sex toys, and drinks. I'll want to make sure it lasts all night and there's no reason to leave.

  My heart starts beating faster as I think about him watching me do all these things. I'm just curious as to how he’ll react. Will he become so sexually frustrated that he barges in to join? Or will he truly remain out of the active picture and be the voyeur he claims he’ll be.

  There's nothing sexier than being watched. Being touched with the heat of his eyes always turned me on. I'm finishing my makeup in my vanity mirror when one of many memories flashes through my mind.

  Jack sitting back in his suit, a drink in his left-hand resting on the arm of the chair while he burns through me with his captivating blue eyes. His other hand holding my panties while he takes turns inhaling my scent and rubbing his fingers over the material, of course his eyes never leaving me.

  I can see the bulge in his pants when he runs his hand across the outside, giving away the path it's decided to take over his left hip.

  He's huge, but I already know that. I know how he feels and that's what has me begging for him to join me. His office was always a favorite fuck venue for me. I loved to crawl across his large desk and torment him with my sexual cravings. So many times it ended with him spreading me across his desk and devouring me before he fucked me, leaving me dripping with the memory all day.

  I was at his disposal. It was the most fulfilling ‘job’ I've ever had. Finance guru in his corporate offices by day, his toy at night… well and sometimes during the day, it would just depend. He paid very well by way of paycheck and anything my heart desired. I mean anything.

  It all had to come to an end when he told me about his future wife. I know when it's time to walk away and that was it. I don't share and I had my heart tangled up in him.

  I found a new job in less than a day; I'm going to guess he had something to do with that, but I'll never complain. He knows everyone who matters in this city. I'm sure he pulled some strings and I sure didn't stop him. I needed a job fast to keep up with the lifestyle I was used to. I make great money where I'm at, hell I'm even the CFO and I don't have the everyday temptation that is Jack.

  I walk past the glass doors and front desk, continuing to walk even when the receptionist is trying to stop me. She’ll let him know some crazy woman is here and he’ll know it's me immediately.

  He's hitting a button on his phone when I enter. His eyes move over me as I walk toward him. He sits back in his chair and continues to stare me over even when I'm standing in front of him across the desk.

  “Shit, Ava. How am I supposed to concentrate with you dressed like that?”

  “What is there to concentrate about, Jack?”

  “Our little arrangement.”

  “Yes, that.” I sit on the edge of his desk, making sure he can see the open back of my dress. He stands instantly, walking around to be near me.

  “My tattoo.” He tries to claim it as he gets closer.

  “No Jack. That is my tattoo.”

  “You wear it perfectly. Your back was always so beautiful.” He runs a fingertip down my spine, sending a rush through my body. I stand and walk a few feet away from him.

  “I want three men. I'll need a sex swing, a St. Andrew’s cross, and a fuck bench. I'll bring the rest of the toys myself. I want a full bar available and we’ll order room service for the rest.” I talk as I walk over to his desk chair and sit down. It's a power move.

  “Easy enough. Do you want me to pick the men?”

  “You know my taste. I'm okay with that.”

  “I do.” He moves toward me until he's leaning against the desk directly in front of me, leaving me with a direct view of the bulge in his slacks as he opens his suit jacket.

  “Go to lunch with me.”

  “I can't.”

  “You can.”

  “Jack. I'll play games with you all day, but we’re not going to bed together.”

  “I don't need a bed.”

  “I know you don't. I remember.”

  “What if I'm one of the three?” I think about his suggestion for a second. That's a terrible idea.

  “That's not an option. This was supposed to be my fantasy.”

  “Are you saying you don't fantasize about me anymore?” He steps forward on me, moving the chair back against the glass. He bends to spread my legs as far as the dress allows, before he slides his hands between my tits instead.

  My nipples tingle at his touch and I go on a sensation overload as he continues to explore. His touch isn't supposed to do that to me anymore.

  I grab his wrist and he stops moving. I slowly guide his hand out of my dress and place it on the outside of his pants.

  “The only touching you’ll be doing is to yourself as you watch me, Jack. I can't go there with you and you know it.” I wish I was truly the whore I've been called. I want nothing more than to feel him fuck me right here and now, but I can't. He has my heart tangled up and that is one area I can't stand to break again. He’s married. I'll never fuck a married man. My ex-husband cheated on me and I know how it feels to be on the other side of that.

  I stand to leave the room. “Make sure they're not married. I don't fuck married men.” He's standing with his back to me, looking out the huge glass window. Opening the door, I feel a sudden burst of excitement for this weekend. I'm long overdue for a great fuck and like it or not, he just turned me on like no other. Fuck me and my rules.

  Chapter Two

  “Your room is ready.” Jack’s voice is deep when I answer my phone.

  “Thank you.”

  “Enjoy.”

  “You enjoy Jack.” He doesn't respond before he hangs up the phone. I wonder which men he’ll have there for me tonight? If I'm not satisfied with his choices I won't hesitate to call him to switch them out. Not just any man gets to fuck me. I have standards.

  I finish putting on the tiny black dress I bought today. My red laced panties and strapless bra were sent over by Jack. I shouldn't wear them, but he has a way of picking out sexy things that fit me perfectly and these were no exception. His taste is impeccable and to be honest it's nice to be pampered, even if it's only for a day. I know he's working that line I've drawn, but I have no intention of moving it. I'm very firm with where I stand as far as Jack is concerned.

  I step out of my condo to find a limo waiting. He hasn't changed. I should've known he'd send a driver for me. I step close to the stretched Hummer to find he hasn't changed drivers in all these years.

  “Tom. It's very nice to see you.”

  “Ms. Ava, dear. How are you?”

  “I'm doing well.”

  “Jack has asked me to bring you to the private dining hall at the Mandolin. Can I have your bags?” Tom was always so polite. This poor man has seen so much; I personally know he’s seen more of me than I’d like to admit. He never made it awkward after one of my sex-capades with Jack in the back of a limo.

  The ride is quiet and I just take in the beautiful city. The anticipation of tonight has me squeezing my legs together waiting to feel a man fill me again. It’s been way longer than I’d ever admit to Jack.

  The music relaxes me and I find myself very at peace before we arrive at the hotel. I should be nervous, but the truth is, I can’t wait.

  Tom pulls us into the hidden garage that Jack uses. He opens the door and escorts me through the series of solid doors to the dining area. I’ve been here before many times, but I let him do his job.

  “Ms. Ava, it was a pleasure seeing you tonight. Please don’t be a strang
er.” He shakes my hand and turns to leave me in the dark room by myself. I can feel eyes on me. I know he’s in here.

  “Ava, you look beautiful as usual.” His voice touches me in an otherwise silent room.

  “Thank you, Jack.”

  “Please come sit.” I know his motives are tricky. He has a plan, but so do I. Where it may be fun to tease him, I can't let him break me again. I have to stop this. I sit in the chair across from him and look down when his eyes begin to brush across my skin. Why does he get to make me feel this way?

  “My Ava. How will I ever make it through this night?” I'm not his Ava. He still sees me as his property and this will be a problem.

  “Maybe this is a bad idea.”

  “You backing out on me now?” His question comes as he stands to make us both a drink at the bar.

  I don't want to back out, in fact I deserve this. Who has the chance to fulfill a fantasy with this kind of offer?

  I feel everything from my past begin to brew to the surface once again. He's the reason I'm a workaholic. It was just easier to deal with my broken heart by working every single chance I could because the alternative meant going home to think about him and that was too painful. I cried myself to sleep too many nights as it literally felt like I was healing from him ripping my heart from my chest.

  I need to get a grip and live life again. The few dates I've been on lately gave me strength and courage to find my inner sexy goddess and bring her back to life. My scars are too deep for his advances.

  “No.”

  “That's my girl.”

  “I'm not your girl.”

  “You'll always be mine, Ava.”

  “But you were never mine.” He stops walking closer as my words hit him. His eyes burn into me and he looks pained. Why do I let myself feel an ounce of pity for him when he did this to himself? He did this to us.

  “Your room is ready. I'll have someone take you up.” His abrupt change of demeanor practically gives me whiplash and that pisses me off.

  “Fuck off, Jack. You don't get to make me feel like shit when this is all on you. I should have my damn head examined for even considering this game you're playing.” I stand and walk out the door into the parking garage only to find Tom is no longer there. All of Jack’s high dollar cars are parked perfectly, but that doesn't help me. Without a garage door opener, I'm not getting out this way, so I swallow hard and go back inside to march past him since he's blocking the door.

  He grabs my arm when I'm close enough and forces me to face him. I instantly shift to the old Ava and wait for him to speak. He's breathing deep, matching my own as I battle the frustration boiling inside me.

  “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you back into my life. I know I've hurt you Ava, and you deserve so much more.” His hand slides down my arm as I listen.

  “You’ll never know how many times I've regretted letting you go.”

  “I can imagine how many Jack, because I probably have cried more times myself.”

  “I understand if you want out of the weekend arrangement.”

  “No I don't want out of an amazing weekend of sex Jack. In fact, I'm looking very forward to it. What I want out of is you thinking there will ever be anything more than a friendship between us.” Not that I think we can be friends.

  “You do crazy shit to me, you always have.”

  “Obviously, it wasn't crazy enough.” I pull hard to release his grip on my arms, turning to face away from him and attempt to regain my complete strength. I'm going to need it with him this close.

  I'm mad at myself for dressing with the purpose of teasing him. I've done this to myself, I guess in some fucked up way I hoped he would want me. It's doing wonders for my confidence at the moment, but that's Jack, wanting what he can't have.

  “I'll stop. Ava, you deserve to be happy, and I'll do whatever I can to help you get there.” Does he know he has all the power to make that a reality? Does he know I want nothing more than to turn back time and fight for him?

  I wish things were different, but they're not. I've been dealt these shitty cards, so it's the hand I have to play.

  “Jack, I'm ready to go to the Penthouse.”

  “I have everything prepared for you.”

  “Thank you. Now can I please go and enjoy it?” He moves closer to me with a look that he’s struggling with so much, like he’s dying to tell me something, but I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want him to work his way into my heart and my mind any more than the festering he’s done since I met him.

  “As you wish.” I turn and walk in my sexiest possible way across the room and toward the door to the hotel elevator.

  “Just remember, Ava. I’ll be watching your every move.” His words stop me in my tracks yet again.

  “Jack, just remember, it won’t be with you, so watch all you want. Watch my face as I orgasm over and over during the endless sex I plan to have with these men.” This is why I ordered three. It’ll take that many to keep up with my appetite. I’m one hungry woman who has been deprived far too long. He says something just as I walk out the door, but I don’t ask him to repeat it. Frankly, I don’t want to hear what he has to say. He’s held my attention for far too long in my life. This weekend is about me and one hell of a fantasy that I hope is so great, I’ll never forget it.

  The elevator takes me to the very top floor. If I’m guessing, it’s the only one that will. Jack wouldn’t allow access to just anyone. My heart begins to race a little the higher the car goes. Not knowing what I face once the doors open has my curiosity peaked and my mind going insane. What if he chose three disgusting men to teach me a lesson? Or worse. What if he chose the most gorgeous men I’ve ever seen?

  I push all my insecurities to the back of my mind and continue walking until I’m in front of the only door on the top floor. The silence has me nervous, but I push the door open anyway.

  The second my eyes adjust to everything in the room, I realize where this is going. Sex furniture is in every corner of the front room and with a single glance I see a giant bed through the open doors that lead into the bedroom. Sexy music plays through the speakers as I watch a dark haired, bearded guy covered in tattoos strut into the room. I can see tattoos on both hands and all the way up his neck. He has to have so many more hidden under that jacket. “Take off that jacket. I need to see more.” He follows my request and slowly teases me as he removes it, unbuttoning his shirt. His muscles shift as he moves toward me. I lick my bottom lip when I see the veins bulging in his arms as he teases me with his insanely sexy body. His tattoos are perfection and will create hours of my exploring that canvas. He’s young, but not too young for what I have planned.

  He steps next to me and before I have the chance to appreciate his touch, another man walks into the room. This one is blonde haired and blue eyed. I don’t normally appreciate those characteristics, but for some reason it works on him. His clean shaved face is something I’m used to and it’s nice when he gets close because he smells amazing.

  Another guy enters the room. This one is another dark-haired guy, but without tattoos. I love the dark hair on a man.

  Each guy’s suit fit like it was made specifically for their body. I wouldn’t put it past Jack, so that’s a real possibility.

  All three of the guys surround me and I start to think about where this night is headed. Can I handle three men at once or have I bitten off more than I can handle in this deal?

  All three of them move in close to me, each working to gain my attention, and none of them getting it right away. My head is still on the first floor with Jack, but I’m working like hell to pull myself together.

  “I need names. Even if it’s nicknames.” My words come out as a pathetic attempt to change the pace this is headed so quickly.

  “Name is Jax.” The guy with tattoos lowers his head so that his mouth is next to my ear. His heated breath tickles my skin while his name makes my skin crawl.

  “Jack.” Even though I try not to lose my shit,
I instantly do.

  “Let me guess. Yours will be something similar to Jack too?” I look to the only one who hasn’t answered and watch him nod letting me know that I’m right. Jack’s out of his fucking mind.

  I push through the circle of men surrounding me and walk straight to the door before I stop in my tracks. This is what he wants. He wants me to leave the room and storm into scream at him. He used to love when I got feisty, he was known for teaching me to chill out in some of the most memorable ways.

  I reach for my phone. I can feel his eyes watching me and I can almost see a smile on his fucking face. He’s my last call, so it takes me no time to get him on the phone.

  “Jack.” I pause on purpose. He’s expecting me to be mad about all of the men having his name, but I’ll never let him have that.

  “Yes, Ava.” He is smiling.

  “I need lube sent up. I forgot mine and it looks like I’m going to be needing some.” I turn to walk back to the guys knowing he’s watching me. I brush my free hand over the chest of the tattooed Jack. I can do this. It’s why I’m here. He doesn’t get to mindfuck me through this weekend. “Thanks Jack. I really need this getaway from reality. You’re the best.” I hang up and swallow hard while I make myself walk proudly across the room and slide my straps off my shoulders. There’s only one way to get this weekend started and my being fully dressed isn’t it.

  The material slides down my body and my skin lights up with sensation the second it becomes bare. Four men watch me with want. Three that I can see and one that I can feel stronger than any of those in the room.

  “Alright. Your name is Cowboy.” I point to the man with tattoos. “Yours is Caesar,” the blonde one acknowledges me as I speak in his direction. “And yours is David.” All three are alternate names for King. If Jack wants to play games, I’ll let him sit on those. He knows what I’ve done. It’s an old way of communicating when he would gamble.