Heart of Ash

by Sabrina York

  He eased in. Two thick, long fingers.

  Shudders wracked her. Agony and joy and hunger assailed her. A sound, like a hiss, escaped through her teeth.

  He explored, ruthless, determined, seeking and finding that spot that made her clench, rail, fist his hair and howl. He covered her mouth, muffling her wail, drinking it in, driving her higher and higher. His tongue mimicked his thrusts below.

  Changing his angle, he drove deep, massaging her inside, and obliterating her senses with a wicked scrape of his thumb over her thrumming clit.

  She seized. Exploded. Came.

  Rapture stole her breath. Ecstasy, perfect and absolute. She dissolved. Dissolved into the pleasure like a sugar castle in the rain.

  After her crisis, she expected him to take her. To unfasten his jeans and shove into her like a stallion. Take what he’d earned. Take it and walk away.

  But he didn’t. He held her, soothed her…and then let the hem of her skirt fall.

  She lifted her head and stared into his eyes. She loved those eyes. Loved even more that they were warm when he looked at her, rather than cold, as they’d been that day on the beach.

  Still, he set her aside. Gently.

  “Aren’t we going to… You know?”

  He stood and crossed the room, though she could tell it cost him. “We’re not doing that,” he said. “Not until we know each other better. Remember?”

  She put out a lip. She’d like to. She’d like to right now.

  “We need to take it slow.”

  “Slow?” She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. After what had just happened, after his heart-felt apology, after seeing his art, after that scorching…whatever it had been. Now she just wanted more. But she sensed he needed time. Needed the chance to feel redeemed.

  “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

  “No more kissing?”

  A flush tinged his cheeks. He chewed on his inner cheek as he thought that over. “Well, maybe kissing. But that’s it. Until we know each other better.”

  She nodded. “That sounds fair.”

  She could live with that. After all, every kiss they’d shared had led to something more. And quickly.

  Surely getting to know each other wouldn’t take too long…

  Every day for the next week they worked on the fund-raiser and every evening, Ash took Emily out. They went to dinner, saw a couple of shows, and even went on a whale-watching cruise on Saturday. He loved witnessing her reactions to that, especially when an Orca surfaced and then breeched right next to their boat. He loved how she found joy in the simplest things. The sparkle of sunlight on the water, the feel of the spray, the clasp of his hand.

  They talked and laughed and discovered they had a lot in common, which surprised him. It did not surprise him that they were such a good fit together. Sometimes, all they had to do was exchange a glance to know what the other was thinking.

  She loved fishing and camping and, holy God, football.

  She was, very probably, a perfect woman.

  This relationship was unlike any other he’d had. It scared him a bit, but thrilled him too. Realization, recognition thrummed through him. The certainty that she was the one for him.

  After each date he took her home and kissed her goodnight on her porch. Just kissed her. He lived for those kisses. It took everything in him to resist the temptation to succumb to her invitation to come in. But he was determined. And stubborn.

  And, perhaps, a little stupid.

  On Sunday, they went to the Pike Place Market and enjoyed a day of grazing and people watching. She adored the tiny donuts and the flying fish and tasting cheese that had been made before their eyes.

  He adored being with her.

  They returned to her house that afternoon full to the brim with delicious food, arms laden with packages and the flowers he’d bought her, just because she’d admired them.

  He stopped before her door, as he always did, though she opened it and looked at him expectantly.

  “Are you coming in?”

  Heat crawled up his neck. Hell. He wanted to. He really wanted to. But he wouldn’t. He shook his head. “I shouldn’t.”

  Her lip came out.

  “I’ll come back tomorrow night. Take you out for dinner.” He kissed her on the forehead. The cheek. And then, because he couldn’t resist, the tip of her nose.

  Emily stepped closer. Tipped up her face. Stared into his eyes.

  Damn, he could drown in that ocean.

  He didn’t know how much longer he could take this.

  But he had to. He had to show her he was an honorable man.

  Words simply weren’t enough.

  And this was far too important.

  One kiss. That was all he would allow himself.

  One kiss only.

  His lips were gentle as they brushed hers, tender and sweet. Emily shuddered as arousal washed through her. When she opened her mouth, he pulled her closer, his hold firmed, he deepened the kiss.

  She shifted her packages and, with her free hand, held him there, in place, as she tasted him. Shivers of delight skittered along her nerves.

  But while she felt it, he, apparently didn’t. Or he possessed the self-control to stop. Which annoyed her.

  Lots of things annoyed her at that moment.

  Most especially that he possessed the self-control to stop. To end the kiss and turn away with a casual, “I’ll see you tomorrow,” leaving her quivering there on the stoop.

  She wanted to be wanted.

  Insanely.

  Uncontrollably.

  Passionately.

  She didn’t doubt he wanted her. He did. It was clear in every line of his body as he walked back to his car. But he didn’t want her enough. Enough to break through that annoying wall of reserve he had constructed.

  And she found she wanted him to. Needed him to. Badly.

  As Emily watched Ash drive away, a new determination flooded her. If he was a stubborn as he claimed, it might be a good idea to call in reinforcements.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Thank you all so much for coming,” Emily said as she picked up Prince Phillip and gently set him on the floor. She brushed off the cushion and sat. The Yorkie mix looked back at her with wounded eyes.

  “Thanks for the invitation,” Avery said, curling her long blonde hair around a shell-like ear. “It’s been far too long since we’ve all gotten together.”

  “Why has it been so long?” Mel asked. She and Avery sat together on the floor playing with Beast and Li Shang, two of Emily’s foster dogs, while Kaitlin, Jamie and Tara entertained the kittens on the couch. Bella sat in the other armchair, hugging a fuzzy pink pillow and glaring at the animals.

  Avery sighed. “We’ve been busy, darling.”

  Mel smirked.

  “How did that dungeon crawl go?” Bella asked. The curiosity in her tone surprised Emily because of all her friends, Bella was the last one she would expect to have an interest in the BDSM community.

  Then again, she was dating Holt.

  “It was awesomeballs,” Mel said, lacing her fingers with Avery’s. They shared a loverly glance that went on waaay too long.

  Tara cleared her throat. “Much better than regular balls.”

  Avery chuckled. “Darling, anything is better than regular balls.”

  Naveen jumped on Jamie’s lap and she “oofed.” She resettled the Springer Spaniel so he wasn’t goring her. “Emily, I’ve never known anyone who had so many animals.”

  “I think they’re sweet,” Kaitlin, already covered with cat fur, purred.

  “They’re everywhere.” Bella shuddered, and then took a gulp of her wine. Bella was not an animal lover. But she did love wine. “Are you turning into a cat lady?”

  Kaitlin laughed. “You know Emily. She can’t resist a creature in need.”

  “The kittens are up for adoption,” Emily suggested hopefully. Yes, she was a pushover for sweet furry faces, especially when they were slated for termin
ation. Everyone at the shelter knew it. They made a point to walk her down “death row” whenever she visited. She almost always brought someone home. It was getting out of hand.

  Clearly she needed a bigger house.

  Perhaps something in the country.

  Kaitlin grimaced. “You are evil, aren’t you?” Kaitlin was also a sucker for tiny bundles of fur.

  The kittens needed a good home.

  And Kaitlin probably needed kittens.

  In fact, all of her friends needed pets. Except for Bella who had scrunched herself into a ball in the armchair trying to avoid Aladdin’s diligent kisses.

  Kaitlin lowered her lashes and fixated on Brier Rose. They bumped noses and the kitten rubbed her cheek on Kaitlin’s, marking her territory. Her human. Emily bit back a grin. Excellent. One down.

  But she had reasons for inviting her friends over other than thinning her herd.

  “So I suppose you are all wondering why I asked you here.”

  Kaitlin snorted. Emily should have known she’d figured it out.

  “What?” Jamie asked, stroking the scruff on Naveen’s neck.

  “I’ve been seeing someone.”

  Bella wrinkled her nose. “Don’t tell me it’s him.”

  “Him who?” Beast nudged her hand and Avery pulled the three-legged puppy onto her lap and scratched him behind the ears until he grunted in bliss. Beast was an attention whore and loved a good scratch. Emily should probably warn Avery that he drooled, but decided to let her figure that out for herself.

  “Ash the Ass,” Bella grumbled.

  “Wait. Ash? As in Ash Bristol?” Avery gasped.

  Emily nodded.

  “I can’t believe, after everything he did, you’re giving him another chance.”

  “Bella, hush,” Kaitlin said.

  Avery lifted a perfectly sculpted brow. “What did he do?”

  “He lured Emily into a one night stand.”

  “Sounds like Ash.”

  “He didn’t lure me anywhere.” Emily jumped to her feet. “Are you going to listen or not? I need your help.”

  “With the fund-raiser?” Jamie asked.

  Avery shot an apprehensive look at Emily. “What fund-raiser? Why didn’t someone warn me there was a fund-raiser?”

  Kaitlin smiled. “Emily and Ash are doing a fund-raiser for Fostering the Future together.”

  Avery blinked. “Ash Bristol.”

  “Yes.”

  “Doing a fund-raiser?”

  “Of course.”

  “No of course about it, Boo. Of all the people in the world to be doing a fund-raiser, Ash Bristol would be the last name on my list. In fact, he wouldn’t be on my list at all.”

  “I know,” Bella muttered. “He’s an ass.”

  Emily frowned at them both. “He’s changed.”

  “He won Emily’s help in a silent auction and picked Fostering the Future as his charity. I, for one, think that’s wonderful.” Bless Kaitlin’s heart. She was everybody’s champion.

  “We should all help with the fund-raiser. Don’t you agree?” Jamie said.

  “I didn’t ask you here for your help with the fund-raiser…” Emily paused and added, “Although I fully expect you all to help.”

  Avery issued a melodramatic, long-suffering sigh. “Naturally. How much do you need?”

  “Well…”

  “Oh God.” Avery paled. “I know that look.”

  “I’m not asking for a donation, Ave.”

  Avery and Mel exchanged a glance. “Then what do you want?”

  “Your house.”

  Avery’s eyes bulged. “My house?”

  “We’re inviting the donors to the island for a weekend party. Now, Ash’s house sleeps ten, Lane and Lucy’s about the same. But your house…” She trailed off.

  “You want me to open a B&B for charity?”

  “Just for the weekend.”

  “’Scuse me.” Mel leaned forward. “Like, the whole weekend?”

  Emily nodded. “There will be about twenty couples and fifteen children.”

  “Oh, the children aren’t staying at my place.” Avery sliced her hand through the air to make the point. “No way.”

  Mel nodded. “That would not be wise.”

  “The kids can stay at our places. Boys at Ash’s and girls with us. Sleeping bags in the basement. We need your place for the donors. And you,” she whirled on Mel, “have to be on your best behavior.”

  “Does that mean I can’t put Avery into a slave collar?” Mel grinned wickedly.

  Emily pursed her lips. “It’s not that kind of party.”

  Avery pouted. “I suppose that means we have to lock up the dungeon.”

  Though she blushed, Emily nodded primly. “That would be best.”

  Avery winked. “Wouldn’t want one of your fancy donors wandering down there by accident.”

  “In my experience,” Mel said, “there are no such accidents.”

  “Yes, please. Do lock up your dungeon.”

  “And put away all our pretty toys?”

  “All of them?” Mel squealed, but Emily suspected she was teasing. “Oh, this will be like an Easter Egg Hunt.”

  Avery snorted a laugh. “Don’t forget the ones in the freezer…”

  “Could you imagine? Muffy goes in for a piece of ice and pulls out a butt pl—”

  “Hookay,” Emily gusted. “That would be awesome, Avery. Thank you Mel.”

  Mel winked. “My pleasure, princess.”

  “So wait, Ems.” Kaitlin said. “If you didn’t ask us here to help with your fund-raiser—”

  “She asked us here to help with the fund-raiser,” Avery corrected, but Kaitlin ignored her.

  “Why did you invite us?”

  Emily blushed. “I asked you here for your advice about Ash.”

  Bella tossed back her drink. “He’s an ass.”

  “He did save her from Roman,” Kaitlin reminded the assemblage.

  “He did,” Emily said, trying not to shudder at the memory of being cornered by that toad again.

  Tara chuckled. “I heard Ash punched him right in the kisser.”

  “Black eye for a month,” Jamie said in a pleasant tone.

  Avery swirled her wine. “Serves Roman right. That creep should know better than to mess with our kind.”

  Everyone peeped at Avery. They all knew what she liked to do for fun. It usually involved handcuffs and whips. Maybe peanut butter.

  Tara sat back as Li Shang, Emily’s foster Chow, crawled onto her lap. “You would be an awesome Avenger, Aves.”

  Avery chuckled. “Don’t I know it.”

  Kaitlin jumped as Ariel crawled up her skirt to nestle in her lap as kittens do—claws first. When she scratched the ball of fur behind the ears, Jasmine and Snow joined their sister on a friendly lap. They’d all learned not to bother Bella.

  “So Emily, what’s the problem with Ash?”

  “He’s Ash?” Bella offered.

  Kaitlin ignored her. “Are you still attracted to him?”

  “Oh, yes.”

  “But he’s an ass.” This—surprise, surprise—from Bella.

  “And you think he has potential?”

  “Even though he’s an ass?”

  They both ignored Bella.

  “Well? Do you?”

  “Yes.” Emily took a sip of her water. It was uncomfortable being the center of all this attention, even though all these girls were her friends. “From the moment I saw him I knew… I thought…perhaps…he might be… I dunno.” She flushed.

  “What?” Bella snapped. “Your Knight in Shining Armor?” She narrowed her eyes at Emily’s expression. “No. You’ve gotta be shitting me.”

  “He has unplumbed depths,” Kaitlin insisted, and a flood of gratitude rose in Emily’s breast. God bless Kaitlin.

  “He does. I mean, he has walls…”

  “Who doesn’t?”

  “Right? But I see something in him. Something worth knowing. Something speci
al.”

  Everyone around the room nodded thoughtfully.

  Except Bella.

  Bella threw her hands up in the air. “Am I the only one who can see this guy is an ass?”

  “Bella. It’s not your story,” Kaitlin said gently and that shut Bella up. But, Emily suspected, not for long.

  Tara shrugged. “You got a guy you really like who, according to some reports, can be an ass. But he’s stepped up to the plate enough to apologize and ask for another chance—”

  “You give him another chance,” Kaitlin said.

  Bella muttered under her breath.

  “That’s not the problem.” Emily blushed. Now that she was having this conversation, she wished she’d never brought it up. How mortifying was it to ask your best friends how to seduce a man? She had no experience with men, save a hurried tryst involving a copious amount of maple syrup in a rustic cabin and some desperate fumbling in a glass studio. She had no idea how to proceed.

  “What’s the problem?”

  Emily folded her fingers together. “He…wants to prove himself to me.”

  Kaitlin pursed her lips. “Prove himself?”

  “He…um…wants us to take things…slow.”

  “Ah,” Tara murmured. “The old Lysistrata.”

  “The old Whatsistrata?” Bella asked.

  “No sex.”

  “No sex?” The others screeched.

  Avery frowned. “We are talking about Ash Bristol, right?”

  “He is very determined to be a perfect gentleman. And I…well…I…”

  Mel winked. “You want a little something-something?”

  “I just don’t know how to show him I’m ready.”

  “You could just tell him you’re ready.” Tara suggested.

  Emily pouted. “I tried. I don’t think he believed me. So, what do you recommend guys?”

  “Seduction.” Tara offered gleefully.

  “I’m hardly a seductress.”

  “I think you underestimate yourself,” Kaitlin said with a smile.

  Tara plucked a kitten from her shoulder. It immediately crawled back up. “Men are notoriously easy to seduce. All you have to do is wear sexy underwear.”

  “And give him a blowjob.” This from Mel.

  Avery nodded. “Better yet, give him a blowjob in sexy underwear…”

  Emily tapped her lips as she considered these suggestions. She certainly wanted to try pleasuring Ash the way he’d pleasured her in the cabin. But thinking up things to do to Ash’s body wasn’t the issue. She was able to think those things up on her own. “What if he resists my advances?”