The Love She Craves: Selling Her Soul to Declan

by Gemma Jenkins

  Her eyes didn’t meet the lawyer’s as she spoke. She didn’t lift them from the carpet. She didn’t know what else she could have done but it felt shameful to admit how much time Cody spent alone during the summers. Every sacrifice Nyxie could think of, she made gladly so her brother had food, water and a place to lay his head at night.

  The man scribbled all sorts of notes as she spoke. “When did the girls come to live with you?”

  “It was spring of last year, so, just over a year ago. Lotus was nine and Reina was seven. Melinda showed up with some sleazebag, both of them covered in tattoos. My sister couldn’t sit still like she needed a fix. She just left them there. I’d never even seen my nieces before. The only time I could get Reina to put down her teddy bear was when I sent her into the shower and even then, Lotus had to promise to hold it the whole time. I could barely afford to keep us all fed and I had to buy clothing right away for the girls because they only came with the clothes on their backs, nightgowns and a change for the next day. I started working more doubles, but there was no money for daycare. They watched each other.”

  Declan’s phone suddenly rang. He slid his finger across the display and answered the phone “Dr. Stryker….Okay….Commandeer an OR. Prep him for surgery….Yes, all the usual pre-surgery tests. I’ll be right there.”

  “Is it Cody?”

  “There’s more internal bleeding. This is not uncommon in these severe trauma cases.”

  Nyxie popped up like a cork ready to leave.

  “Sit down,” he said sharply. “Cody’s in good hands and we still have to finish here.”

  She reacted instantly to the tone of his voice and sat back down, but did not settle into the seat. “But Cody….”

  Ignoring her, he reached into his back pocket for his wallet and pulled out a credit card. “What kind of retainer are we talking about?”

  “Fifteen will get us started. CPS loves these high-profile cases, so I don’t think they’re going to back down quietly.”

  “Officer Lewiston told me the chief doesn’t want to press criminal charges,” she said.

  The lawyer turned on her. “Do you have a criminal background? You need to tell me, we’re going to check.”

  “No, sir. The cops in Chimera Flats come into the truck stop where I work. I knew some of them before that. Daddy would get arrested from time to time—sometimes, they’d just drop him off,” she said with disgust, the contempt for her father obvious.

  “It sounds like they’ve been turning a blind eye for a while.”

  Nyxie bounced her heel impatiently making Declan clamp his hand over her knee. His hand slid up her thigh and he squeezed it so tightly she wouldn’t be surprised if his fingers left red marks. Putting her hand over his, she hoped the lawyer wouldn’t notice the way his fingers dug into her flesh. She felt herself intentionally trying to relax as if his grip would be less biting if her thigh muscles were not taut. His gaze fell upon her, and when he narrowed his eyes and squeeze harder, she realized he wanted something from her. He wanted her to submit. She dropped her chin and his hand loosened and flattened instantly. His hand caressed her thigh before withdrawing.

  The silent exchange must not have gone unnoticed by the lawyer. “Uh, are you two in a relationship?”

  Declan met the man’s eyes. “For every twenty thousand I spend on getting her kids back, I own her for a year.”

  She felt the lawyer’s eyes upon her downcast face and experienced a type of shame she’d never felt before. Nyxie tried to tell herself, it didn’t matter what the lawyer thought. Surely, he could see she entered the arrangement to get her family back. God, what if he thought it was her idea? What if he thought she approached him? Was this the way her mother felt as she climbed into the cab of a big rig like a common lot lizard? When she found out what her mother had done, she’d been so ashamed of her, but suddenly she felt a new pain for what her mother did for them.

  “Do you need me to draw up a contract?” he said after thirty seconds passed.

  “No, the last thing we want is a written record of our agreement, especially since it’s not exactly legally binding.”

  “True, plus I’m not sure it would stand if she protested it. She’s under duress, but I’m sure you know that.”

  He shrugged noncommittally as if to say he didn’t really care.

  Uncrossing his legs, the lawyer leaned forward. “Keep the kinky shit under wraps. It’s not going to do her case any good if whatever this is comes to light or if you get arrested for having sex in public.”

  “Trust me. I’m not doing anything that’ll screw up my career. As soon as her brother is out of the woods, I’m going to tell the chief of surgery that we’re becoming involved, so he can either supervise me, or take me off his case.”

  “You plan to make it public that you’re seeing her? As far as her case goes, I think that’s smart. Dating a respected doctor can only help her cause unless, of course, the nature of your relationship gets out.”

  “How much do you think this is going to cost overall?”

  The lawyer eyed Nyxie for a few seconds before answering as if wondering if she understood how much an attorney cost and how long she’d be contracted to Declan. “Hard to say. Once they know she’s hired us, they may back down immediately, or they may dig in their heels. I’m guessing in the 50K arena.”

  “Can you get her supervised visits immediately?”

  “Immediately? I doubt it but I’ll look into it.”

  “I bought Lotus and Reina cell phones, too. They need to be kept informed about Cody. He’s been their brother for the past year for all intents and purposes and Nyxie has given their lives stability. It’s abusive and traumatizing to pull them away like they did. Also, I want those girls examined by a doctor of our choosing.”

  “You should go back to school and get a law degree,” the lawyer said with a chuckle.

  “Run the card, so we can go.”

  In the elevator on the way down, Declan put his arms around her from behind, his torso flush against her back. “Three years,” he whispered into her ear. “You belong to me for three years.”

  The hair on her neck and arms rose up. “I did the math, too,” she said a little breathlessly as she stood stiffly in his arms. “Can you afford this?”

  “God, I can’t wait to get you over my knee,” he said rubbing his hand over her small ass. “A sub doesn’t ask that kind of question, she just shows her gratitude.”

  She trembled under his touch, wanting to pull away, but afraid to move. She felt the front hem of her dress tighten around her legs as his hand slid over the dress along her bottom and between her legs. She started breathing fast at the sensation of the intimate contact. And when the elevator reached the bottom floor and he stepped away, she thought her trembling legs would collapse.

  He took her hand and led her through the bank only releasing it when he opened the lobby door for her. “I find it very interesting that you relaxed when I squeezed your leg, but you get rattled when I touched you sexually.”

  “I’ve known pain my whole life, but being touched by a man I barely know is alien to me.”

  “I don’t want to hear about your experiences with other men.”

  Nyxie cast wide brown eyes at him, her cheeks flushed. “Trust me there’s nothing to tell. I’ve never had an orgasm except by my own hand.”

  The lights of his vehicle flashed as he unlocked it. He opened her door and buckled her in. “No more masturbating. I want your sexual arousal building without relief until I take care of it.”

  “Are you serious?” she asked, her voice high with disbelief.

  He took her head in his hands and noticed the way she flinched as his hands moved toward her face. “Deadly serious, Onyx. I’m going to know if you touched yourself and I’m going to bring you to the brink over and over without relief as punishment.”

  7

  Cody’s second surgery lasted barely an hour and Nyxie spent half that time watching the noon news.
With her mouth parted in a slight gape, she watched the perky brunette anchor lead the newscast talking about her family.

  “In a follow-up to a story we brought you yesterday of a twelve-year-old boy struck by a pickup truck in Chimera Flats, News Channel Twelve has learned all the children have been removed from the home.

  “Twenty-two-year-old Onyx Carmichael, sister of the victim, was working a twelve hour shift at a nearby diner leaving the twelve-year-old in charge of two other children who lived with them.

  “CPS is said to be investigating how all the children came to live with Carmichael. When asked if they would be searching missing children databases, CPS officials stated they would explore all viable options looking for the younger children’s families.

  “At this hour, the boy is still listed in critical condition with life threatening injuries.”

  ~ * ~

  Declan walked in moments after they wheeled in the gurney and transferred the boy back into his bed. He knew something was wrong the moment he saw her. Her face had lost its color and she sat in the mesh chair slightly rocking her upper body back-and-forth and staring off into space.

  “Nyxie,” he said crouching down in front of the chair and trying to draw eye contact. “Nyxie, what’s wrong? Look at me, Onyx. Cody’s back from surgery. He needs you to be here with him.”

  Declan glanced behind him to make sure none of the nurses could see him before he reached out and stroked her arm. Her eyes slowly closed and stayed shut for about three seconds then slowly open. She looked around the room, her gaze falling on her brother then darting to the clock on the wall.

  “You’re finished? Is Cody okay?”

  “It went well, practically routine,” he said. “What happened while I was gone? Did Rachel say something?”

  “Excuse me?” the blonde nurse said in an accusing tone as she entered the room.

  Rachel wore her rude attitude on her face for all to see. Distain flared her nostrils as if it had an odor—or perhaps she just smelled the cloying perfume she bathed in that morning to cover up the stench of cigarettes that clung to her.

  “Did you say something to her?”

  The woman crossed her arms. “I barely spoke two words to her. One minute she’s watching the news, the next she’s half-comatose. Maybe you should check to see if any of the other patients are missing their meds.”

  “Declan, she didn’t do anything,” Nyxie said moving her hand slightly so it touched his but not in a way that appeared as if the contact was intentional. “The news implied I kidnapped Lotus and Reina. They told the whole world CPS removed my kids.”

  “Christ!” Declan pulled out his cell phone and jabbed his fingers at the display. “Vaughn, it’s Declan. I need you to rein in the media. We need the public on our side. They’re trying to vilify Nyxie.” He listened for a minute. “…In time for the evening news? Yes. Thanks,” he said and hung up the phone.

  Again, she marveled at how he knew exactly what to do. He had an uncanny ability to make her feel like everything would be all right. She didn’t know if she would always be able to rely on him, but she suspected if she could stay on his good side, she could. It felt alien to her to have anyone she could call a friend. But how could she embrace calling him a friend, when she knew he also wanted to cause her pain?

  “Thank you, Declan,” she said with her eyes lowered because she knew he liked it when she dropped her gaze.

  He reached out and stroked her hair. “I have some good news about Cody. The pressure on his brain has already begun dropping a little. We’ll probably be able to take him out of the coma sooner than expected.”

  Standing, she slowly approached the bed and took Cody’s right-hand. “It’s so hard to look at him,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I thought they would be okay by themselves.”

  “Onyx?” a woman said in the gap in the curtains.

  “Mrs. North!”

  “Am I allowed to visit?”

  Rachel, who was charting Cody’s vitals, looked up with pursed lips. “It’s supposed to be one visitor at a time and family only in the ICU.”

  “I think we can make an exception this once,” Declan said daring the nurse to contradict him.

  “Keep it short and keep it down. And if you want to visit with each other, take it to a waiting room.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Mrs. North said giving the nurse the same respect she demanded from her students.

  “Mrs. North, thank you for coming. This is Cody’s doctor, Declan Stryker. He graduated from Chimera Flats.”

  Nyxie wanted to hold Declan’s hand or in some other way show they were together, but she also knew they needed to keep their relationship under wraps for the time being.

  “Declan, this is Cody’s sixth-grade English teacher—she was my teacher, too.”

  The middle aged woman reached out and shook Declan’s hand.

  “Declan Stryker? Are you Coach Stryker’s son? I had no idea you were a doctor. Your father must be so proud.”

  Declan shrugged. “Not as proud as he would have been if I had been a pro athlete.”

  “Oh, I’m sure he would have been delighted if you were a ditch digger as long as you were the best ditch digger you could be.”

  “So, you’ve never met my father?” Declan said lightly. “But I know you didn’t come here to talk with me. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll leave you to your visit.”

  After he left, Mrs. North turned to Nyxie. “How is Cody?”

  “He just came back from another surgery, but he seems to be holding on,” her voice warbled and her chin trembled. “It’s bad, Mrs. North. I don’t know if he’s going to make it.”

  She uttered the words aloud she’d been too afraid to even think.

  “Oh, Onyx, look at me.” She took the younger woman by the arms and waited for their eyes to meet. “I don’t know where that shy little girl I used to know went, but I am so proud of who you became. I fully expected you to turn out like your sister and there were times when I was tutoring you, I wondered if I was wasting my efforts on someone who would spend a good portion of her life in jail. Neither one of your parents could be bothered to come to parent/teacher conferences or to sign the notes and progress reports I sent home. I went to the truck stop to talk to your mother once and I realized you were raising yourself for the most part. You could have taken off like Melinda, and left Cody to fend for himself, but you didn’t. He never once came to school late or without his homework done and his notes signed. I don’t know how you did it. But you were one of the best parents I’ve ever had. You are also a strong woman and no matter what happens, you are going to endure and grow from this experience because that’s what Cody would want for you.”

  The woman moved to Cody’s bedside and stared down at the boy before putting one hand on his chest.

  “We’ve been praying steadily for Cody. We did a prayer chain for him last night. I think the youth group conducted their own prayer chain, too.”

  Nyxie blushed with embarrassment. She didn’t really know what her former teacher was talking about but was too embarrassed to admit it. But she understood, even if she didn’t know anything about religion, that their prayers were filled with hopes and good wishes for her brother’s recovery.

  Nyxie’s nose turned red as her eyes filled with tears. “That is so kind of everyone.”

  “Oh, sweetie.” The woman pulled her into an embrace. “Cody’s a good boy. Everyone knows how hard you work to support those kids. I’ve seen jars all over town collecting money for Cody’s medical bills.”

  Nyxie’s hands slowly came around the woman who Nyxie used to dream was her mother. Mrs. North’s warmth surrounded her like a blanket making her cry harder. She cried for Cody and for the warmth and love she’d never experienced from her mother. And she cried for all the times she’d daydreamed that Mrs. North would take her away from her real parents. She held her tightly until her tears ended. “Thank you so much for telling me.”

  “Onyx, y
ou have more friends than you think.”

  The woman set Nyxie back from her. “I brought you something. I know you’ve seen it before, but when I read it, I thought it was so sweet; I made a copy to put in my scrapbook. It’s the Mother’s Day essay he wrote in May. I’m sure you’ve got the original stashed away at home, but I thought you’d like to have it with you.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. North. Thank you.”

  She held the paper over her heart as if she could feel Cody’s embrace by holding it there. The teacher patted Nyxie’s hand. “He loves you.”

  When Declan returned on his evening rounds, he was freshly showered and looked like he spent the rest of his time off sleeping. She felt bad he’d had to come back to the hospital to assist in Cody’s second operation when he was supposed to be off. He handed Nyxie a pair of ten dollar vouchers to the cafeteria so he wouldn’t have to worry about whether she would eat overnight. He knew there was already a patient in the ER who needed surgery and he was scheduled to assist in a pair of procedures in the morning, so she shouldn’t expect to see him for at least twelve hours.

  Declan returned at lunchtime the following day with a pair of sandwiches and two cups of iced tea. He leaned in and whispered in her ear. “A sub for my sub. I hope you like the Italian.” He handed her the foot long and took a six inch for himself.

  “We don’t eat out other than the free meals I get at the truck stop. Trust me; it’s all a treat to me.”

  “Good to know. Do you have any foods you don’t like?”

  She shook her head and grinned. “I don’t turn my nose up at much. Food in your belly is food in your belly.”

  “Yeah,” he said knowing she knew what it was like to be hungry. She still looked like she continued to go hungry if her gamin appearance was any indication.