Healing Touch

by Rothert, Brenda

  I unpacked my supplies and lined them up along one wall on the freshly cleaned Formica countertop. I’d been stressing about making everything just right for my interview day with the patients tomorrow, but the worry had vanished. Now I was just feeling the butterflies caused by Carson.

  “So . . . first question,” he said from the other side of the room. “What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?”

  I considered his question. “Adventurous . . . that’s a tough one. Once I gave chest compressions to a bleeding patient without gloves in med school. Does that count?”

  His single, low note of laughter told me it didn’t.

  “What’s the most adventurous thing you’d like to do, then? A bucket list kind of thing?”

  “I’d love to travel by train through Europe. And ride in a hot air balloon. I mean . . . not all at once, that was two separate things.”

  The back of my neck was getting sweaty from my hair being down. I pulled it up in my hand and used a notebook to fan my neck.

  “What’s your most adventurous thing?” I asked.

  Carson was quiet for a couple seconds. “I guess jumping out of airplanes is the most adventure I’ve ever had on purpose.”

  “What do you mean ‘on purpose’?” I asked, arching my brows at him. “Have you had accidental adventures?”

  His back was turned to me as he worked, but I could see him shrug his shoulders. “We ran across some scary shit when I was overseas.”

  His measured tone told me this topic had hit a nerve.

  “Is it hard to talk about?” I asked softly.

  “Some of it,” he admitted.

  “So the jumping out of planes—was that when you were in the Army?”

  “Yep. First time’s scary as shit, but it gets easier with every jump.”

  He turned to me and grinned. “Air conditioning’s officially on.”

  I crossed the room and knelt down next to him. A steady stream of cool air flowed in from the hole he’d cut in the wall.

  “That feels so good,” I said. “I can’t believe you just did that so fast. You made it look easy.”

  He shrugged. “I’ve still got more work to do. Have to add a return yet.”

  “Time for more questions, then,” I said, hoping I didn’t sound as overeager as I felt.

  “I’ve got one. What’s one place you’ve never been kissed?”

  My lips parted. It was half surprised gasp, half smile. “Oh, gosh. There are so many.”

  He inhaled sharply and my girly parts clenched.

  We were only about a foot apart, and I felt his body heat as he leaned just a little closer to me.

  “You smell good,” he said. His eyes seemed to darken a shade, or was that my overactive imagination?

  “Thanks. It’s probably just fabric softener.”

  The corners of his lips quirked up. “No, you smell kind of exotic and . . . warm somehow.”

  It wasn’t just my cheeks, but my entire body that felt flushed this time. Carson’s gaze made me feel sexier than any words could have. I licked my lips nervously and held a wrist out toward him.

  “My perfume, maybe?”

  He wrapped his large palm around my forearm gently, drawing my arm up to his face. When he pressed his nose to my inner wrist and I felt the light scrape of his stubble, I panted out a breath of excitement.

  “That’s it,” he said softly, his warm breath dancing across my skin.

  “There,” I said, the words coming out barely a whisper. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Right there. It’s a place I’ve never been kissed.”

  This time I was sure his gaze darkened. His lips met my skin in a gentle caress, sliding across the delicate skin of my inner wrist. When the wet, warm tip of his tongue snuck out from between his lips and grazed over my skin for just a second, I let out a ragged exhale.

  He pressed his lips to my palm and then he stopped. My hand was so close to his face, I couldn’t resist. I reached out and laid my palm on his cheek. The scrape of his dark scruff felt good beneath my fingers, and I stroked his skin gently.

  Carson’s eyes slid closed for just a second. When they opened, they were filled with so much longing I wanted to crawl into his lap and wrap myself around him. Did no one give this beautiful man the sort of tender touch I was giving him right now?

  Actually, I hoped not. I felt a strong pull of possession toward him. What had started out as attraction had become something much more the second his lips touched my skin. I wanted him to explore my other unkissed spots so much it was an ache inside me.

  The sudden sound of voices in the hallway made me drop my hand. We both turned to look at the closed door to the research room.

  “It hurts! I didn’t know it would hurt this—” The woman who was talking stopped and gave a loud, anguished moan.

  “Let’s get you into a room, Claire,” another voice said. “Hang in there.” That was Angie, an OB nurse.

  Carson gave me an inquisitive glance. “Is she okay?”

  I smiled and stood, my legs starting to cramp from kneeling on the floor. “She’s okay. Just in labor.”

  He shook his head and stood up, too. “So you deliver babies? That’s admirable. I can’t imagine doing that.”

  I felt a flicker of something I couldn’t place. “You don’t have kids, then?”

  “No.”

  “Ever been married?”

  “Nope. Broken engagement four years ago. You? Kids?”

  I shook my head. “Just one divorce under my belt. Can I ask why you broke the engagement off or is that too personal?”

  His expression hardened. “I didn’t break it off. She did. She found someone else when I was overseas.”

  I felt a strong pang of sympathy for the twenty-two-year-old he’d been getting his heart broken in that way.

  “That’s terrible. I’m sorry. You found out when you got home?”

  “No, I found out when she wrote me a letter. That’s why I re-upped over there. Had no reason to come back home.”

  “And that’s why you came here when you left the Army.”

  He shrugged. “I wanted a fresh start. Didn’t really care where it was. This seemed like as good a place as any.”

  “Well, I’m glad you chose here.”

  His gaze was warm again when our eyes met. “Me too.”

  I couldn’t help looking at the stack of unpacked boxes against the wall. With a reluctant sigh, I walked over to them.

  “I have to get set up for tomorrow,” I said.

  “I need to go see if I can find some vent covers. I know I haven’t hit twenty questions for you yet. You’ll be here when I get back?”

  I smiled. “Yes. I have more questions for you, too.”

  When he left the room, I turned my wrist over and looked at the spot he’d kissed so well I’d felt it throughout my body. I wanted so much more. Never had I experienced such a powerful, immediate urge to offer myself up to a man and give him anything he wanted. But the closer I got to Carson, the more unquenchable my desire became.

  I didn’t just want him; I was quickly growing to care about him. He’d been hurt, too, and I wanted to make it better. And it wasn’t the urge of the doctor in me, it was the urge of a woman.

  THE DOOR TO the storage room closed behind me, and I forced myself to walk toward the stairwell. I didn’t want to leave that room—I didn’t particularly need a vent cover right now, either. But I needed to get out of there before I pressed Joss against a wall and kissed her the way I was fucking dying to.

  Once I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop. And I wasn’t the kind of guy who screwed around on the job.

  Near the entrance to the stairs, a lithe woman with light brown skin who was wearing blue scrubs made eye contact with me and smiled. She seemed to know me, but I didn’t recall ever meeting her. I nodded politely and glanced at her name badge. Dr. Hattie Lawson.

  “You taking care of my girl?” she asked.

  I slowed my p
ace and gave her a confused look.

  “I’m Hattie, a friend of Joss.’ She said you were helping out with the room.”

  “Oh, yeah. It’s coming along. I’ll have it all ready within a couple hours.”

  Hattie shook her head slowly. “She’s a great person. One of the best. Joss is much more than just a pretty face.”

  I tensed a little. How could Hattie tell I was interested in Joss? Did it show on my face?

  “I can tell that,” I said. “She seems like a total package.”

  “You like her?” Hattie crossed her arms and examined my face.

  I nodded sheepishly. “I like her a lot.”

  “Good.” She pointed down the hallway. “I have to get to patients, but it was nice to meet you, Carson.”

  “You too.”

  By the time I made it to the stairwell, my pumping blood had cooled considerably. Clearly Joss and I were interested in each other. When I’d smelled her perfume close up and tasted her skin, I’d admitted to myself I wanted a lot more than flirting with her.

  But what did she want? A relationship? I wasn’t sure I was cut out to do that again. My last one had gutted me, leaving me a cynical asshole. Joss could have as much of my body as she wanted, but my heart wasn’t available, and I wasn’t sure it ever would be.

  The basement storage room was a refuge. I walked in and soaked up the solitude it provided. I’d been alone for a long time. Even when I was with other people, I was alone. But I didn’t feel that way around Joss. She saw through me and wasn’t afraid to ask about the things everyone else figured were off-limits.

  Whatever was happening between us had been fast-tracked by raw honesty. She was over her ex but was still licking her wounds from being fucked over in front of the entire hospital. The experience had left her doubtful of her physical beauty, which was total bullshit. I didn’t have to know who her ex was to know he was a stupid fuck.

  And in the space of a couple of hours, I’d let her see who I was: a man who still hadn’t fully recovered from the hurt of my breakup, either. I was over Rachel, but now wondered if I could fulfill a woman both physically and emotionally. Physically? Hell yes. But war had left me pensive and pessimistic. Seeing how little value some people placed on life made me question human nature. Could I trust a woman who said I was enough for her?

  I blew out a deep breath. The storage room was very organized. I knew right where to go for what I needed, but I paced the aisles anyway.

  A battle was brewing inside me. I wanted to go back up to that room and be with Joss. Talking, working, it didn’t matter what we were doing. I just wanted to be in her presence.

  But another voice told me I was on dangerous ground. I’d only known this woman for a few hours, and letting her in even further scared the shit out of me.

  She made me feel. I was feeling want and trust and vulnerability. And as much as I wanted to run from it, I couldn’t. I had to know if she felt those things too.

  I went to the end of an aisle and grabbed what I needed. And then, I did something that scared me almost as much as being shot at and jumping out of airplanes once had. I turned to go back up to the room where Joss was waiting.

  My muscles were tense all over. The closer I got, the faster I wanted to go. It was coming up on three am, and the hallways were quiet.

  I paused in front of the door to gather myself. There was no going back now. I’d been a goner from the first time she laid those big brown eyes on me. I opened the door, walked in and closed it behind me. Joss turned my way and I dove in.

  “I like you,” I said as soon as our eyes met. “A lot.”

  Her lips curved up in a smile. “I like you too. Also a lot.”

  “Can I take you out sometime?”

  “Yes.”

  “What time are you off?”

  She licked her lips, looking nervous as she turned to face me. “I’m not really on the clock right now. Just setting up for tomorrow, which would be done if I wasn’t going so slow because I want to stay in here with you.”

  I arched my brows with amusement and walked closer to her. “I want to take you out as soon as possible,” I said.

  “What time are you off?” she asked softly.

  “Five. You want to go out for breakfast?”

  Her cheeks pinked a little and she grinned. “I was thinking more along the lines of going to my place. Maybe, at some point . . . I’ll make you breakfast. I don’t have to be back here ‘til ten.”

  My cock stiffened fully in an instant. “Yeah. I’d like that. But just so you know, I still want to take you out.”

  “As long as you plan to take me to bed afterward.”

  “Holy Christ, you’re sexy.”

  “You make me feel . . . bolder than I’ve ever felt before.”

  I glanced at the hole in the wall and swore under my breath. “I have to finish that because I am not staying one fucking minute after five unless something in this hospital is on fire. But please keep talking.”

  “How old were you when you lost your virginity?” she asked.

  I thought about it. “Uh . . . sixteen.”

  “So let’s hear the story.”

  She was unpacking faster now, and I got to work on the return as I spoke.

  “It was with my buddy Cody’s older sister. She was home on college break for the summer. Their parents were at work all day, so we were alone in the house. She invited me into her room one afternoon and gave me a blowjob. It just sorta happened from there.”

  “How old was she?”

  “Nineteen.”

  “You must’ve been a rock star.”

  I shrugged. “Not at first, I’m sure. But we fucked almost every day that summer and I was by the end of it.”

  “Did your friend know?”

  “I think so, but we never talked about it. So now do I get to hear about the lucky bastard who was your first time?”

  She sighed and laughed at the same time. “It was awful. His name was Dan McCann. We were both seniors in high school. He got a hotel room for the big occasion. From the time he got the condom on to the time he was done was less than a minute, I swear. He made this noise with every thrust and I thought he was in pain. Then at the end he goes, ‘Oh my goodness!’ and then it’s over.”

  I shook my head with disgust. “That’s unbelievable. What a jackass.”

  “New topic . . . What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?” she asked.

  “Mint chocolate chip. Yours?”

  She considered. “Mmm . . . strawberry, I guess. But honestly I’ve never met an ice cream I didn’t like.”

  I was so turned on by her sweetness and honesty. I reminded myself to stay focused on the task at hand so I could leave with her at five on the dot.

  “I have to put my head in this wall for a little bit to work on something,” I said.

  “Sure. I’ll just be out here staring at your ass.”

  I couldn’t help grinning. “You like my ass, huh?”

  “Very much.”

  “I like yours, too. It’s kinda begging me to do all sorts of things to it.”

  She bit her lip and gave me a look that made me want to throw the fucking tools down and take her right then.

  “Is it five yet?” she said sweetly.

  “Soon,” I promised, resuming my work.

  I’d never installed an air return, but so far it was going smoothly. In the Army, I’d developed an ability to fix things almost mechanically. My hands often knew what to do before my mind had even sent them a message. I did the work on autopilot, my mind wandering to Joss.

  “I’m done,” I finally said. “Just have to sweep up this mess.”

  “I’ll go find a broom,” she offered.

  “Nah, I’ve got it. Then I should be able to help you finish up.”

  “I’m pretty much done, too. I just need to send a message to Domestic to have some chairs and tables moved in here. I don’t know where they keep that stuff.”

  I glanced at
my watch. Almost 4:30. When I looked back up, Joss’ soft brown eyes were locked on me.

  “I’ll clean up, then go sign my logs and we’ll be out of here,” I said.

  “Carson, I’ve got the cleanup. Go finish your stuff.”

  “Alright . . . hey, you can ride with me if you want,” I offered. “I’ll bring you back here for your thing later.”

  “Okay.”

  Her smile pulled on me like a rope attached to my heart. I was drawn to bring out that smile and then follow wherever it led.

  “Black pickup truck,” I said. “I’ll be at the front door at ten after.”

  “See you then. And thank you for getting this room cool. This project means a lot to me, and you saved the day.”

  “I was glad to,” I said, taking her hand and stroking my thumb across her wrist. I couldn’t say the words, but I was pretty sure she’d saved my day, too. And maybe, hopefully, more days to come.

  THE INTERIOR OF Carson’s truck smelled like leather and something I couldn’t place. It was earthy and fresh and I wanted to breathe it in deeply. Must’ve been his cologne. I was looking forward to getting closer to him so I could find out.

  “Good?” he asked, still holding onto my hand. He’d opened my door and taken my hand to help me step up and inside the truck.

  Good? I was fan-fucking-tastic. But I just smiled and nodded, eager for him to get behind the wheel and drive us to my apartment.

  I gave him directions, wringing my hands in my lap as he drove. My nerves were catching up with me. At the hospital, sex hadn’t been an option. But now it wasn’t just an option, it was the plan. And I was out of practice.

  Even in my younger days, I’d never been with a man who had a body like Carson’s. He was tall and muscular—pretty much every woman’s definition of hot. I hoped I wouldn’t be a disappointment.

  “We can always just go out for breakfast if you’d rather,” he said, glancing over at me. “We don’t need to rush anything.”

  “I’m just nervous,” I admitted. “I’m hoping you aren’t used to banging twenty-one-year-old model types.”

  He arched his brows and laughed. I loved that rich, deep sound.

  “I’m not used to anything, Joss. It’s been a while. And I’m not the banging sort, either. If you want this, just relax and I promise I’ll make it good for you.”