Land of Silence

by Tessa Afshar

  He ignored my question and dashed inside the blazing chamber as if he could blow the fire down with the breath of his lungs. I screamed, certain he was running to his death. Coming to myself, I organized the servants to bring buckets of water and blankets and sent Joanna to warn my mother, hoping to keep both out of harm’s way.

  Before we could run to Viriato’s help, he stumbled out, coughing and wheezing. In his arms, he held a great pile of fabric. He had tried to save some of our stock.

  I rushed into the chamber with a bucket of water, knowing that the sight of a young woman facing the inferno would encourage the servants to overcome their fear and join me. The water in my hands vanished in a moment with hardly any effect, and I stood uselessly for the space of a heartbeat and stared at the growing blaze around me. Wood furnishings and fabrics filled the chamber. The fire ate them up with voracious hunger, growing bigger the more it consumed.

  I grabbed a blanket and shoved it into a servant’s bucket until it grew saturated with water, then started to beat at the flames. I was fighting to save our whole house now. We had a narrow window of time to prevent the fire from spreading to the rest of the building. My family would lose everything if we failed.

  “Make sure my father is safely out of the house,” I yelled at Joel above the din that surrounded us. “And my mother and Joanna and any of the older servants who may still be in bed. See that no one remains in the house.”

  The wet blanket proved more effective than water alone, and soon other hands joined mine as we beat at the conflagration with all our strength. Several of the servants were quickly overcome by the smoke and had to leave. The fire was winning. My strength had begun to wane, but I could not give up. If I walked out of that room, the servants would soon follow me and we would lose everything. For all his valor and strength, Viriato alone could not overcome such an insatiable fire.

  I couldn’t see the far wall now; the smoke had grown too thick. Without warning, my foot caught against a low table and I stumbled. I threw out my hands in a precarious bid for balance, but I could not steady myself. Horror filled me as I fell forward into a wall of fire. I felt its heat touch my face, felt it lick at my hair and eyelashes. Smoke and heat smothered the rising scream in my throat.

  A pair of hands snatched me with brutal force from behind and lifted me off my feet.

  I flew into the air for a moment and then landed against a hard chest with a thud. My eyes were streaming with tears. I could not see whose arms held me or carried me away from the inferno.

  “Elianna! God have mercy! You almost died before my eyes!”

  “Ethan,” I choked. “Ethan, we need to go back there.”

  “I am going back. You are staying here.”

  “No, Ethan.”

  Ethan shoved me against the wall, his hand hard against my chest as he held me imprisoned. “If you say no to me right now, I will bind you with ropes and dump you outside; do you understand me, woman? And I will lose precious time doing it.”

  I stared at him mutinously.

  “Elianna, I have brought more servants with me. Viriato and I will handle the fire. But if you are in there, the two of us will be so distracted about your safety that we will endanger ourselves needlessly. Do you want that responsibility on your head?”

  My eyes widened. I shook my head violently.

  “Then stay here. And let me deal with it. Promise me.”

  “I promise.”

  It almost killed me, keeping that promise, staying outside, knowing Ethan and Viriato and the others were risking their lives to save my home while I stood in safety and did nothing to help. From where I stood, I could see into the room. I began to despair. The flames seemed unquenchable.

  Those servants who could no longer tolerate the heat and smoke of the chamber scurried about the rest of the house, emptying it of valuables lest the fire spread. I joined them, dragging carpets and tapestries and furniture into the courtyard before running back inside to fetch more.

  I could not understand how this calamity could have come upon us. There had been no lamps burning in that chamber when I walked out. I had checked the lampstand myself. No one should have gone into my father’s office after me. No one had any business in there late at night.

  To my unspeakable relief, the tide turned within the half hour. Somehow Ethan and Viriato and the fresh group of workers Ethan had brought with him from his home managed to subdue the flames before they spread into the rest of the house. My father’s office lay in utter ruin, but the rest of our home was safe.

  Ethan and Viriato looked exhausted. “Are you hurt?” I asked, as soon as they came out.

  “Don’t fret, mistress,” Viriato said, rubbing his head with the fresh towel I had fetched. “I am too robust and Ethan is too stubborn to let a little thing like a fire overcome us. Hardly a scratch on either one.”

  Ethan drew me under the light of the lamp. “You have burned your lashes and your brows.” He touched my forehead gently and I winced at the flash of pain that pierced my flesh. “You’ve singed the skin. Let me see your hands.” He grabbed my wrists and turned my palms over; even I grimaced at the sight. They were blistered and bloody.

  “Look at what you’ve done to yourself.”

  He made me sit down on the bottom stair and had a servant fetch ointment and clean cloths. With feather-soft strokes he wiped my hand and brow and applied the ointment. I tried not to flinch from the pain.

  To distract myself I said, “What started the fire? Could you tell?”

  “No. The whole place is annihilated beyond recognition.” He took a gulping breath. The soot on his face did not hide his bone-white pallor. “You could have been killed, Elianna. You almost were. Seeing you topple into that wall of fire . . .” He shook his head and left the rest of his sentence hanging.

  Before I could answer, Viriato brought the large bundle of fabrics he had managed to pull out of the chamber. Dropping them at my feet, he knelt before me. “I am sorry, mistress. None of this can be salvaged. If the fire didn’t get them, the smoke did. There is no way to repair any of it.”

  I grabbed the corner of a fabric sitting on top of the bunch and pulled. “Not the green with the silver thread! Not the green!” The sight of that beautiful length of cloth, the best thing I had ever produced, blackened by soot and pockmarked by burning embers was my undoing. I put my head in my half-bandaged hands and started to weep.

  “Joanna’s dowry!” I wailed.

  Ethan let me cry my fill. When I ran out of tears, he cupped my chin in his fingers and forced me to look at him. “This must stop. You can’t go on like this, on your own. I don’t want you to. You think you are protecting me by refusing to marry me. But it hurts me more, having to stand aside and watch you suffer. Enough, Elianna. I want you to marry me. I will help you with the care of your family. We will manage, with God’s help.”

  I opened my mouth. Before I could say a word, he pressed two fingers against my lips to silence me. “I know your favorite word. You are about to say no. Think again, Elianna. I could hold our contract over your head. Threaten you with the courts. But I won’t have to. All I have to tell you is that you are breaking my heart by refusing me.”

  I slumped against him.

  “You want to protect me from pain? Then marry me.”

  I looked up to see eyes bright as gold coins daring me to refuse. I realized I did not want to. I had run out of fight, out of pride, out of arguments. More than anything, I wanted Ethan. Nodding, I whispered, “I am bringing you a world of trouble for a dowry.”

  He flashed a smile that made my insides melt. “So long as you come to me, I’ll take any dowry you bring.”

  Viriato rubbed his hands together. “Does this mean we are finally going to have some roasted lamb around here?”

  I had forgotten he still sat near us and had witnessed the whole exchange. My sandals seemed to offer sudden fascination, and I bent to adjust them. “After this fire, you should thank God if I can afford to serve
boiled turnips,” I mumbled.

  He rubbed his belly. “Then I suppose suckling pig would be out of the question?”

  “Yes!” Ethan and I cried together. I grinned. For the span of a whole hour I made myself believe that my troubles were coming to an end.

  “Thank the Lord you took those lengths of fabric with you, or there would be nothing left,” I said to Joanna as we scrubbed the walls. Every corner of the house seemed to have become covered in oily ash. Our home stank of its pungent smell. We had been cleaning for three days straight and it still would not leave.

  “I wish I had left everything in the workshop. Our whole stock would have survived if I had.”

  “We should praise God for sparing our lives.” Joanna adjusted the knot in her scarf. “And we still have a roof over our heads.”

  “You are right, little sister. Things could have been much worse. Sometimes I forget that reality. And I forget to be thankful, too.”

  “Elianna? Did we lose the money for my dowry in the fire?”

  “Don’t fret about that. Ethan and I will take care of you and Chuza.”

  “I am sorry I am a burden to you.”

  I dropped my rag and wrapped my arms around her tiny waist. “How can you be a burden to me? You are God’s sweet blessing.”

  “I want to help. Put me to work in the workshop. I am certain I can learn quickly.”

  I laughed. “We aren’t that desperate yet. I might give you some embroidery as soon as we have more fabric.”

  The afternoon had turned unusually hot; you couldn’t tell we stood at the threshold of winter. I felt sticky with sweat; the smell of soot clung to every part of my body. In my chamber, I washed quickly and pulled out a fresh tunic from my chest with haphazard haste. A rectangular piece of purple fabric, caught in the folds of the tunic, floated in the air before landing on the carpet. For a moment, I did not recognize it. It was a deep shade of purple, with just the right hint of scarlet. Where had I seen it before? And then I remembered.

  Lydia’s gift.

  Months had passed since the night she gave it to me. Of course it had sat in the protection of a closed chest. Still, the color had not faded; the texture remained soft and inviting. Its vibrant, supple folds hinted at extravagance. I rubbed it between my fingers thoughtfully.

  “Joanna, put on your veil. We are going to visit Master Ezer.”

  I stopped to talk to Ethan first, seeking his advice before plunging ahead with my plan. This new scheme offered both opportunity and danger. My father, I knew, would have avoided exposing our trade to such risk. Ethan was a different kind of man. More daring, more willing to try new things, and less fearful of failure. He never took foolish chances. But he did not allow a good opportunity to pass him by, either.

  I knew that if he agreed with my scheme, we stood a chance at recouping our losses from the fire. A sliver of a chance. A tiny shadow of a chance. But a chance.

  Ethan listened to me patiently, as he always did, before examining Lydia’s cloth with care. The corner of his mouth tipped up. “We have everything to gain and little to lose. You should do it, Elianna.”

  “Are you certain? It’s the last of our money. And if I am wrong . . . !” I shook my head. “I could bury my father’s business for good.”

  “Or save it. It’s a promising plan. Worthy of my clever Elianna.” He touched the tips of his fingers to the back of my hand in a brief caress. “Now go and speak to my father.”

  I had lost all interest in speaking to his father. I wanted to linger and ask like a foolish child if he really thought I was clever. And he knew it, the wretch. I could tell from his wolfish smile that he hoped I would ask for further assurance so that he could pounce on my desire for compliments with a teasing retort.

  I sniffed and walked away. It didn’t help to have his laughter ringing in my ear as I turned my back.

  “Yes, I did cave in and order some of that purple dye in the end, in spite of my best intentions to resist it. Ethan talked me into taking a gamble. The dye arrived last month, but as I feared, even Ethan has not been able to sell it. No one wants to take a chance on a new dye from an unknown supplier. Especially purple. Many of us have at some point tried Thyatiran purple and been disappointed. Eumenes’s dye may be half the price of the royal purple derived from shells, but it is still quite an outlay of money. Our merchants prefer to spend their coin on surer prospects.” Master Ezer scratched his chin. “Are you interested in trying it, Elianna?”

  “Perhaps. How much do you have?”

  Master Ezer’s supply was thankfully small. I took a deep breath and plunged. “I will take the whole of it.”

  “Don’t want any competition?” He gave me a toothy smile.

  “Not just yet, Master Ezer.”

  “I will give it to you for what it cost me, including taxes and transport. I need not make any profit just yet.” He held up his hand to silence me as soon as I opened my mouth. “Hear me out, child. Once the other merchants see how well your fabric sells, they will be climbing the walls of my shop to get their hands on the new supply. You are doing me a favor, you see, promoting a dye I could not sell at the best of prices.

  “In fact, I am so certain of your success that I will place a large order with Eumenes in time for the arrival of the spring wool. After seeing your substantial sales, others will want a taste of the new color. Then it will be my turn to make a little profit of my own.”

  I knew his generosity had more to do with pity than business acumen. Given our enormous loss in the fire and the fact that I would finally be his daughter-in-law in less than a month, he wanted to come to my aid while sparing my pride. In truth, for the sake of my family, I could afford no pride. I accepted his generosity without demur. In spite of his help, I was risking the last of our available cash to pay the modest sum Master Ezer had demanded.

  I prayed that I would not bring ruin to my family. Lord, for the sake of Joanna and Ethan and my mother and father, please bless this enterprise. Please don’t allow me to commit an error that will bring greater hardship upon the head of my family.

  That was when the trembling started. I began to shiver even in the heat of the day, and not even the warmest clothes could stop the quaking of my limbs.

  SEVENTEEN

  For the enemy has pursued my soul;

  he has crushed my life to the ground;

  he has made me sit in darkness like those long dead.

  therefore my spirit faints within me;

  my heart within me is appalled.

  PSALM 143:3-4

  FOR THE FIRST WEEK after the fire, we dined at Master Ezer’s house every day. Jerusha had pronounced our home uninhabitable for seven days and insisted that we eat there.

  I found the mealtimes awkward, for I could not forget Avigail’s harsh words. Joseph died under her care, she had accused. What had she said that was untrue? Yet I could not forgive her. Resentment and a dread of another tongue-lashing made me keep as far from her as I could.

  It proved difficult. She and Daniel often joined the rest of the family, bringing with them their baby. They had named him Isaac, which fit the child to perfection, for he smiled often, showing off his toothless gums.

  One evening I arrived at Master Ezer’s home, wilting and disheveled, for I had had no time to change my clothes after my long hours of labor. Mistress Jerusha had invited a large company, most of whom were Avigail’s relatives, visiting from Galilee. Embarrassed by my rumpled appearance, I found a spot toward the lower end of the spread, as far away from the guests of honor as I could manage. To my surprise, Avigail joined me, Isaac at her breast.

  “What do you think of my son, Elianna?” She turned the baby in her arms so that I could see his face better. Isaac flashed his wide smile, fat cheeks dimpling.

  I shook my head. “He could melt a stone with that smile. You are truly blessed.”

  “If you had married Ethan instead of making him wait all this time, you could have had one of your own by now.”
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br />   I sealed my lips, reciting David’s words in my mind: “I will guard my mouth with a muzzle, so long as the wicked are in my presence.” As far as it concerned me, Avigail was the wicked. Saul’s medium in Endor had probably been a close relation. And yet, what would it gain me to offend her? It could only cause exasperation for Ethan and his brother, Daniel.

  Close to the head of the wide spread laid out on the floor, I noticed a young woman seated with her hands folded in her lap, her feet tucked demurely beneath her. She lifted her head for a moment. Her large brown eyes fixed on Ethan before she lowered them. Her cheeks turned red. A few moments later, she sought him out with another mute glance. Ethan had moved to the far side of the chamber by then. She searched the room, her eyes wide until they found him. I recognized that look—hungry, longing. I must have looked at Ethan the same way a thousand times myself.

  “Who is that young woman?” I asked Avigail. “The one with the cinnamon veil and brown tunic.”

  “That is my cousin Sarai. She and her parents have come from Galilee to visit Jerusalem.”

  “She is very pretty.”

  “Yes. Even Ethan says so, and he is hard to impress.”

  “Ethan said that?”

  “This very morning.” Avigail caressed Isaac’s cheek. “I think if it weren’t for the fact that he honors the covenant made between your father and his, he would look her way with more interest than he allows himself now. It is selfish of you, Elianna, to keep him hanging for so long. He is neither able to enjoy the joys of marriage nor free to pursue them with another.”

  “The wedding is to take place in a month, Avigail.”

  “You’ve said that before. I will believe it when it actually takes place. You are almost nineteen! Soon you will be past marriageable age, if you are not already. Poor Ethan. It is only his honor that binds him to you.”

  I sprang to my feet. “Pardon, Avigail. I forgot to give our steward some important directions.”

  I grabbed Joanna by the hand and dragged her with me. “We are going home.”