by Laura Pavlov
Wow. They just said whatever was on their mind.
“Of course, it’s a work thing. What else would it be?” Crew asked, and his words stung. Did he make out with all of his employees? I knew he didn’t because I was friendly with the girls in the office. They all gawked over him and complained about his rule about not dating the people that worked for him. I wasn’t technically an employee though, was I? He didn’t pay me. I was basically a volunteer. And I’d like to volunteer for a lot more make-out sessions with the boss if that was on the table.
“I don’t know. You two are putting off some serious heat,” Dax said over his laughter, and their mother shot him what I could only guess was a warning look. Crew stiffened beside me, and I understood it. It would probably be horrifying if we were actually together. His family was being kind, but that didn’t mean they wanted me around. They were tolerating my presence, and I couldn’t blame them after what my father had done to them. And the years of torment. He’d always talked about them negatively to others and snarled at them when he saw them in public. I realized in that moment that they’d never behaved that way back toward him or our family. They usually just ignored him when we saw them in public. And after what he’d done, that had to take a lot of restraint not to tell him off. Or to physically take out their frustration.
“Crew’s just helping me out. I needed a ride home and he was nice enough to offer me one. Trust me when I tell you, he isn’t enjoying this at all, he can barely stand being in my presence,” I said, trying to make the situation better for him. The table erupted in laughter once again. Even Crew chuckled beside me as he turned to study me with one brow raised.
My stomach flipped and fluttered, and I reminded myself to keep these feelings in check. It had been a lapse in judgment. He’d made it clear it couldn’t happen again.
“Trust me when I tell you that if I couldn’t stand being in your presence, you wouldn’t be here right now,” he whispered close to me, and his lips grazed my ear, sending goose bumps down my back. I sucked in a long, slow breath. His nearness did all sorts of crazy things to me.
What did that mean?
This man was going to give me whiplash.
“So, what’s the story here?” Crew asked, motioning to Blaire and Jenna and completely changing the subject.
“I was going to ask the same thing. I’m a little hurt, Jenna. I thought we had a moment last summer at the pub,” Knox said with a smirk. I was starting to learn that they were never serious. They were always joking, always laughing. And as much as Crew tried to put on a front as the family grump, he was all warmth and kindness beneath it all. Beneath all the hurt and all the pain. He hadn’t stayed back home like his brothers had when Belle was in the hospital. He’d faced the storm head-on. And that made me admire him all the more. A fierce strength that lived inside him. A strength I wanted to find in myself. I was running back to Dallas because I didn’t know how to deal with what I’d learned about my father.
Crew Carlisle never ran. He wasn’t that guy.
Maybe it was time that I do the same.
“You’re insane, Knox. You were hitting on my baby sister, you fool,” Jenna said, and I couldn’t help but laugh along with them all. It felt good. My home wasn’t filled with laughter, but I always thought it was filled with love. My brothers and I laughed behind closed doors. And I laughed the most with my best friends. My phone had been blowing up all day in my purse, and I’m sure they were dying to know what was going on.
“To-mate-to, to-ma-to. You know I’m the best looking brother.” Knox shrugged and popped half a dinner roll in his mouth.
“You need to get back to school, brother. You’ve got too much time on your hands,” Blade said.
“I’m going back for a frat party tomorrow. Don’t get your panties in a wad because you know the ladies are most drawn to me,” Knox said, winking at their mother.
Everyone chuckled and all three brothers rolled their eyes dramatically, and I covered my mouth with my hand to keep from laughing.
“So, Maura. Tell us a little about yourself,” Davis Carlisle asked. “You don’t want to go into the oil industry after you graduate?”
“Oh, no. I fell in love with my marketing and advertising class freshman year, and I knew that’s what I wanted to do. I enjoy the creative side of the ad industry.”
“I didn’t know that,” Crew said, and he didn’t hide the surprise from his voice.
“You just assumed I wanted to be a personal assistant to the big kahuna?” I asked, and the table burst out in laughter once again.
“You know what happens when you assume, C-dawg,” Knox said over his laughter.
“You know what happens if you call me by that ridiculous name, right?”
“I assume you think you can take me in a fight. But we both know I got the beauty and the brawn,” Knox cackled.
“The last time you challenged Crew, I believe he pinned you in under a minute, big talker.” Dax winked at me.
I enjoyed the banter and they asked me a bunch of questions which I happily answered, and before I knew it, I was helping Delilah clean up the dessert plates. Knox, Dax, Blade, Jenna, and Blaire had left to go to a bar up the street. We’d all hugged goodbye and they’d treated me like I belonged here.
But I knew differently.
“All right, we need to head out. I just talked to John, and he can fly us back now if we head to the hangar. Thanks for dinner, Mama.” Crew wrapped his arms around his mother and the tenderness nearly took my breath away.
There was a closeness in the Carlisle home that I envied. Heck, it’s probably why my best friends felt more like sisters than friends. They provided me the warmth that I’d always craved. My mama did try. She was just busy running in her fancy social circles and following my father around to tend to his every beck and call.
“Thanks for coming tonight, Maura. It was really nice to finally get to know you a little better,” Delilah said, before pulling me in for a hug. I melted into her arms. There was a genuineness that I was so drawn to in this family.
“Of course. Thanks for having me.”
“You’re welcome here anytime, sweetheart.”
We stopped in and said our goodbyes to Crew’s father, and he also hugged me, which caught me off guard. I hadn’t expected the kindness that they’d all shown me.
I checked my phone when Crew and I walked Jasmine back to my house to put her in the barn. The light from the screen made it possible to read the words with the dark sky surrounding us. Crew held a flashlight and led us through the back field where we’d met up earlier in the day.
“Did your dad call?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said, and I felt a tinge of something seeing all the missed calls from him. No matter what he’d done, I loved my father. But I was so angry with him at the moment, I didn’t have any desire to talk to him. “He didn’t leave a message, but he sent a text.”
“Did he apologize?”
I read him what it said. I didn’t know why I was sharing so much with this man, but for whatever reason, I trusted him. “I’m sorry about our argument. I love you, darlin’. I’d appreciate your discretion. This would kill your mama, and neither of us wants that to happen. I’ll be out late tonight. Take some time and we’ll talk soon. Looking forward to graduation. Finish strong and make me proud.”
Finish strong and make me proud? What? He was completely ignoring the fact that I’d told him he had a daughter.
Crew chuckled. “Well, that’s an approach. Sounds about right.”
We got Jasmine settled in the barn at my house, and I ran upstairs to grab a few things while Crew waited outside. It was dark and quiet inside, and I hurried back downstairs and out the door. It hit me in that moment. Crew hated my father so much that he wouldn’t even step foot in our home when my dad wasn’t there. This literally couldn’t go anywhere, and I knew it.
But it didn’t tamper down this desperate need to kiss him again.
We were quiet on the helicopter ride home, and I’d texted the girls and told them I’d be calling within the hour. We slipped into the waiting car once we landed. The man definitely traveled in style.
“Give Brad your address. I don’t even know where you live,” he said, and I could hear the discomfort in his voice. We’d crossed so many lines over the past twenty-four hours, yet we were in the same place. He was my boss. My father was the man he despised most in the world. I’d have tomorrow to pull myself together, and then I’d go to work Monday and act like none of this had happened.
I gave my address to his driver and thanked him for taking me home. We sat in silence once again and when the car pulled to the curb, Crew stepped out of the car. I reached for my purse, and he followed me to the front door of the building.
Crew grabbed my hand. “Come home with me.”
My heart raced with anticipation. “What? I thought you said this could never happen again?”
He ran a hand down the back of his neck. “It can’t. Starting Monday. But it’s Saturday.”
Disappointment flooded. “As tempting as that is… I think I need to call it a night. Thanks for—everything.”
“Charmed, Benson.” His voice was all tease, but I saw the desire there.
I kissed him on the cheek and pulled the door open before I did something we’d both regret. I knew this man could destroy me, and I needed to cut and run before I got in any deeper. I didn’t look back, but I heard the door close behind me and made my way to the elevator. When I put the key in the door of my condo, Ivy stood on the other side with her arms open wide.
“Come here,” she said, and I dropped my purse on the floor and fell into her arms.
“I promised the girls we’d call as soon as I got home,” I said as the tears started to fall.
“They are waiting on my laptop over on the couch. Come on.”
I dropped down beside Ivy and she adjusted the laptop so we could both see Addy, Gigi, and Coco.
“Tell us everything,” Coco said, and Addy and Gigi scooted closer to the screen.
I filled them in on my father. About his cold response to learning that he had a daughter. The lack of remorse or empathy he showed. How he’d never disputed anything, making it clear that Piper’s story was accurate. He’d just assumed that her mother had terminated the pregnancy. I told them how I’d left the house and had run into Crew out near the edge of our property. I told them that we talked, but I didn’t share the details of Belle’s passing, as it wasn’t my story to tell. But I did tell them how awful my father had treated their family. And then I told them that we’d made out like teenagers in the field behind our homes. I didn’t give all the details, as it was a little embarrassing that he’d made me cry out his name just from touching me.
I was mortified.
“I hate to say I told you so, but…” Coco said, clapping her hands together. “My god. This is such an upgrade for you after that dud, Will. Crew Carlisle is the crème de la crème!”
“Well, he said it can never happen again. So, we shouldn’t have even crossed that line. Now I can’t stop thinking about it. About him. How sweet he was.”
“I highly doubt he isn’t thinking the same thing you are. I don’t think that’s the end of it at all,” Gigi said.
“Neither do I. He can fight it, but I don’t think it’s going to work. You’re irresistible, Maura Benson,” Ivy said, as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder.
“Well, I have bigger things to worry about than my love life, or lack of it anyway. What do I do about my father? About Piper?”
“No offense, but your dad is an asshole. Everyone knows it, but they all kiss his ass because he’s got more money than God. I can say this to you because we all know my parents are assholes too.” Coco tucked her hair behind her ears. “You don’t owe him anything right now. He’s lied and he’s cheated, and he’s asking you to keep his secret from your mother. And you do whatever feels right with Piper. If you want to reach out to her, you have every right to.”
“I agree,” Addy said. “What about your brothers? Have you talked to them?”
“Nope. They’re my next call. I just pray to God they will know what to do. I feel bad discussing this with all of you and with them, when my poor mama doesn’t know about it.”
“The woman is always last to know,” Coco said, shaking her head.
We spent the next hour talking about all the different ways I could approach Piper. What I should say to my brothers. But we kept coming back to Crew Carlisle.
The man had weaned his way in, and now I couldn’t get him out of my head.
But I needed to focus. I sent a text to Wes and Lyle asking if we could all three FaceTime. I needed to look them in the eye when I shared this news.
They both replied that they could talk right now. We were always there for one another.
And a third text popped up.
Crew ~ Sure you don’t want to come over? One night. I could come grab you.
I let out a long breath. I wanted to go, but my life was already a mess. I didn’t need any more complications. Crew Carlisle was a massive complication.
Me ~ See you Monday, boss.
Chapter Twelve
Crew
I’d received a call from Layla yesterday morning, letting me know her father was on the mend, and she was on her way home. She’d be at the office first thing this morning. I’d urged her to take some time off now that she was home, but she was insistent about getting back to work.
It was probably for the better. I’d been in a perpetual bad mood since I’d dropped Maura off at her house. I had a wicked case of blue balls and had declined yet another call from Juliette, basically offering herself up on a platter.
I couldn’t have Maura Benson, but I didn’t want anyone else. I could still taste her sweet mouth. Smell her. Her lavender scent was permanently surrounding me. I couldn’t get this girl out of my head. My phone rang as soon as I slipped in the car and said hello to Brad. Having a driver made life far more convenient. I never had to worry about parking, and he could get me to and from meetings quickly.
“Hey, Mom.”
“I tried you yesterday and you didn’t answer,” she said, and I could hear her clanking around in the kitchen.
“Sorry about that. I had to work.”
“On Sunday? Crew, even your grandfather took Sundays off.”
“I know. Just catching up on a few things. What’s up?” I asked, wanting to move the conversation along because once I got to the office I’d be buried.
“So, it was nice to see Maura.” There it was. She was biting at the bit to ask about her. My mother had always had a sixth sense about things. She knew when we were lying, when we were up to no good, when we were crushing on a girl. I seemed a bit old for that, but I was definitely crushing on Maura Benson.
“Yep. I dropped her at her house and haven’t seen her since. If that’s what you’re wondering.”
“I wasn’t wondering anything. Although you two do seem to be a bit more than work friends,” she said, as if she’d just come up with it, but I knew she’d been stewing on it since we were there.
“She works for me, Mom. What’s Grandfather’s number one rule?”
“Don’t use the company credit card for personal lunches?”
I laughed. “Nope. Don’t dip your pen in company ink, remember? You always think it’s a pen reference. It’s a dick reference.”
She gasped, which made me laugh harder. The woman raised four boys and had a husband. She was familiar with the term.
“He means that you shouldn’t sleep around with your employees. If you actually like her, I’m sure good old-fashioned dating isn’t out of the question.”
“She’s an intern. And a Benson. There a
re a million reasons why it wouldn’t work. I’m here, Mom. I need to go.”
“Crew,” she said, as I waved at Brad and jumped out of the car. The sidewalk wasn’t bustling yet as I was early.
“Yep,” I said, nodding as I passed the morning security guys.
“Don’t let grief keep you from being happy.”
“What? You’re way off base here. There’s nothing between Maura and me, and that has nothing to do with grieving.” I rolled my eyes because this day was off to a shit start.
“Have you thought about going back to therapy?”
Was she kidding me with this?
“I go every couple of months, and I don’t need more therapy than that,” I hissed.
“Says every person who actually needs therapy. Listen, Crew, you’ve dealt with things most people never will in a lifetime. You were a bone marrow donor, you sat by your sister until she took her last breath, and you were my rock. Those are things no young boy should ever have to be or experience. And I’m sorry that I can’t take that away for you. But I see you holding back in life, and I believe it’s fear.”
I hit the button on the elevator more times than necessary because I needed to take my frustration out somewhere.
“Fear of what?”
“Getting too close to people, of loving someone. That you could lose them. It’s a fair concern after all you’ve been through.”
“Are you quoting your therapist now?” I asked and rubbed a hand down the back of my neck.
“Sure. We talk about these things. But this is me talking to my son.”
“If I tell you that I’ll go back to therapy, will you stop nagging me?” I stepped off the elevator.
“I can agree to those terms, yes.”
“Fine. I’ll have Layla get me on the schedule. Happy?”
“Layla’s back?” she asked, and she didn’t hide the disappointment in her voice.
“She is. Her father is doing better. She starts back today.”
“I see. So where does that leave Maura?”
I closed my eyes as I dropped down in my desk chair. I was the first one here, and there was no sign of Maura. Layla must have called her and told her that she didn’t need to arrive early now that she was back.
