For attracting a woman, chant: Om Shrim Shriyei Namaha (Pronunciation: Om Shreem Shree-yay Nahm-ah-ha)
When you’re finished chanting, place the mala beads back on your altar. Pick up the green and pink crystals, and hold them in your hands. Close your eyes, and set your intention by saying the following out loud: “I am love. I am lovable. I am worthy.” Feel free to add anything else positive that you’d like to state about yourself.
Snuff out the candles when you’re finished.
The Night of the New Moon: Take a Love Bath
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WHAT YOU’LL NEED:
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Rose or jasmine incense
1 red candle
1 pink candle
The petals from 12 fresh pink or red roses
1 bottle rose essential oil
1 bottle jasmine essential oil
Pink and green stones from your love altar
1 sage stick
1 feather
1 abalone shell or fireproof container to catch ashes from the sage
RITUAL STEPS FOR YOUR LOVE BATH:
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Sage your bathroom.
Light and burn the rose or jasmine incense next to the tub.
Light two candles, one red and one pink, in the bathroom.
Add petals from 12 pink or red roses to the bathwater.
Add 6 drops of the rose oil and 6 drops of the jasmine oil to the bathwater.
Add the pink and green stones from your love altar to the bathwater.
During the bath, visualize yourself in a loving relationship, and place the stones over your heart.
Soak for 20 minutes.
Place the crystals back on the altar, and give the rose petals back to the Earth—place them on the grass or bury them in the soil. Don’t throw them away in the trash!
FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE
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My wedding was featured on a TV show called A Wedding Story. The producers wanted to show how a ceremony could be both spiritual and religious by combining rituals from our Christian, Judaic, and Native American faiths. It became one of the show’s most requested rerun episodes. I don’t know if people wanted to emulate my wedding or if they were just fascinated by it.
What kinds of things did I do? My gift to my bridesmaids was a piece of Rose Quartz to represent my love and gratitude for each woman in my life. Then, as they walked down the aisle, each of them held a crystal ball instead of a bouquet. The meaning behind the spherical shape is that it has no beginning and no end, representing everlasting love.
The wedding ceremony took place in the center of a medicine wheel, with each guest sitting in one of the four cardinal directions of north, south, east, or west. Peruvian drummers and flutists played ancient songs to honor our ancestors. Each guest was given bubbles to blow their wedding wishes and prayers into the sky after the ceremony. After our kiss, we were wrapped in an authentic Native American blanket. To this day, we sleep with that blanket on our bed every night.
Malachite
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WISDOM KEEPER:
THE TRANSFORMER
COLOR: Green
ORIGIN: Australia, Morocco, the U.S., and the Democratic Republic of Congo
HISTORY AND LORE: Malachite is a stone of wisdom. In ancient Egypt, Malachite lined the insides of pharaohs’ headdresses because it was believed that the crystal would lend balance and insight to his rule. Dating as far back as 3000 B.C., Malachite, with its vibrant color, was ground into powder and used as eye makeup. Talk about having wise eyes!
HEALING PROPERTIES: Malachite is the ideal crystal for someone who has yet to find the right partner. Malachite can cleanse the chakras and help you see what is not working in your life. It’s one of the most powerful transformational crystals for the heart. The emotional balance it provides will encourage you to take the action you need to remove negative patterns and enhance your transformational energy.
WISHES OF LOVE RITUAL: A PRE-WEDDING CELEBRATION
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TIME FRAME:
As long as it takes for all your loved ones to participate!
This Wishes of Love Ritual is one of the most meaningful rituals you can do with all your loved ones before the big day, such as at your wedding shower. It gives guests an opportunity to state out loud what they wish for you and your partner. We highly suggest this for any couple who wants to add another layer of love, happiness, and joy to their marriage. It’s a powerful ritual that will continue to spread the love even after your wedding.
WHAT YOU’LL NEED:
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1 bowl to hold the crystals
Enough Clear Quartz stones for each loved one participating to have a crystal
1 sage stick
1 feather
1 abalone shell or fireproof container to catch ashes from the sage
RITUAL STEPS:
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Days before your celebration, cleanse and purify all the crystals. We suggest also letting them soak up the energy of the Sun for at least 1 hour and the energy of the Moon overnight.
If possible, sage the space where the event is being held.
When your guests arrive, give each person a Clear Quartz stone.
Ask your loved ones to gather in a circle, and place the bowl in the center.
Ask everyone to hold the stone in their hands and think of a wish or blessing they would like to make for the couple.
One by one, have each person state their wish out loud, then place the crystal into the bowl. This should continue until all crystals are in the bowl.
The crystals are now energized and programmed with wishes from all the people who mean the most to you. You can place this bowl in your bedroom, living room, or any special place in your home so that you can always feel the love.
SELF-LOVE
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Timmi is a hopeless romantic, which is probably why she got married at 22. She always told me that she was going to live the American Dream—have a big house with a white picket fence with her golden retriever and four kids. She loved waking up early in the morning to create a custom loaf of bread with oatmeal, raisins, and dates using one of her favorite wedding gifts, the bread maker. After working out in the gym, she was off to her high-powered job in the garment industry and home by 6 P.M. to make dinner for her husband, Jim. She really was a happy homemaker in the morning, successful businesswoman by day, and doting wife at night. Life was good. She was indeed living the American Dream—what she had always wanted. For five years, she was in marital bliss . . . until the seven-year-itch came two years early.
The realization came one evening like a slap in the face. As she walked through the door and smelled the bread baking in the kitchen, something just didn’t feel right. She poured two glasses of wine, sliced the bread, and she and her husband sat in silence as they ate dinner. They no longer had anything to say to each other, and it had been that way for more than a year. It was as if a wave of truth flooded Timmi’s heart, and she understood that she’d been playing a role and living a lie. The American Dream that she was brought up to believe in wasn’t her dream at all. The man who sat in front of her was someone she didn’t even know anymore. Whose life am I living? she wondered. She couldn’t do it one day longer, so she left Jim.
This is when Timmi’s dual Gemini personality emerged. I like to call her “evil Gemini twin Tammy.” After Timmi left her marriage, she focused on her career and enjoyed living the life of a successful, financially independent woman. But by night, Tammy would come out . . . and she was wild. Life was to be lived fully, and that’s what Tammy did. She drank excessively, worked out compulsively, shopped till she dropped, and even met a new man.
Suddenly she was in love, life was a party, and this was one party she hoped would never end. Timmi had everything she wanted, and she wanted even more of it. A year of extreme excess continued, but like all good parties, it did have to come
to an end. One day while brushing her teeth, Timmi looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize herself. Her parents barely spoke to her anymore, she was drinking and partying way too much, and it was starting to take its toll. A feeling of emptiness and loneliness filled her soul. Tammy, the evil twin, needed to go, and the real Timmi needed to reemerge. But just who was the real Timmi? This is when the road to healing and the way back home to herself began.
SELF-LOVE WHEEL RITUAL
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TIME FRAME: 1 to 8 weeks
Taking time to cultivate self-love is the greatest gift we can give ourselves, and it’s the only way we can attract a loving relationship with someone else. This is the biggest lesson Timmi learned on her journey from playing a role to becoming her true self.
Choose to be the someone you would want to have in your life! By working with the Self-Love Wheel Ritual, you’ll be on your way to finding the love you deserve.
Reach out to a friend or family member you trust, and share the ritual and your goals with that person. They will be your best cheerleader along the way and will keep you accountable and on track each week.
Some people use the excuse that there isn’t enough time to stay committed to each week’s intentions. You may need to give up something like binge watching your favorite TV show, trolling social media, or checking your e-mail every 5 minutes in order to make time for what’s truly important—achieving the changes you desire in order to bring self-love into your life. After all, you are your best investment!
WHAT YOU’LL NEED:
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A copy of the Self-Love Wheel
1 Rose Quartz tumbled stone
1 Amazonite tumbled stone
1 Blue Apatite tumbled stone
1 Carnelian tumbled stone
1 Red Jasper tumbled stone
1 Moonstone tumbled stone
1 Clear Quartz tumbled stone
1 Bloodstone tumbled stone
1 blue pen—blue is the color of truth. It’s believed that you’re more likely to retain information when you write it with blue ink.
1 sage stick
1 feather
1 abalone shell or fireproof container to catch ashes from the sage
RITUAL STEPS:
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Sage your environment, and cleanse your crystals.
Hold the crystals in your hands, close your eyes, and take 3 deep breaths. Aloud or in your head, say the following: “I ask that the highest vibration of love and light connect with my highest self to clear all unwanted energy and any previous programming. I command these crystals to hold the intention of unconditional self-love, acceptance, and freedom from judgment. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Find a place where your Self-Love Wheel can remain undisturbed throughout the duration of the ritual.
The goal is to cultivate a more intimate relationship with yourself. Sit with your wheel in front of you. Each of the sections in the wheel represents an area to concentrate on in order to bring self-love into your life. Read each of the eight sections out loud.
How much time do you need to focus on each area of the Self-Love Wheel? You decide! Rate each area with a number between 1 and 10, with 1 as the least amount of time you need for that area and 10 as the most amount of time. Write your rating number in each specific area of your wheel.
Focus on any areas that have a ranking of 5 or higher. Write down one intention or action to take in order to see a change in that area. For example, if you wrote down 5 in the area of Exercise & Movement, your intention could be, “I commit to taking a 10-minute walk 3 times a week on Monday, Wednesday, and Sunday.”
Now that you’ve finished writing down your intentions, gather your tumbled stones. The act of placing one tumbled stone in each of the areas of the wheel will ground the energy of your intention into reality. Place the stones accordingly: Rose Quartz in the Pampering & Beauty area
Amazonite in the Time with Friends & Family area
Blue Apatite in the Taking Care of Yourself & Your Health area
Carnelian in the Artistic Expression area
Red Jasper in the Go Out of Your Comfort Zone area
Moonstone in the Fun & Play area
Clear Quartz in the Quiet Time, Meditation, & Prayer area
Bloodstone in the Exercise & Movement area
Decide which area you want to focus on first, and commit to your intention for 1 full week. It’s best to start the ritual on Monday and end on Sunday.
This ritual could take 1 to 8 weeks. The timing depends on how many areas you choose to work on.
Self-Love Wheel
Rose Quartz
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WISDOM KEEPER:
THE LOVE MAGNET
COLOR: Pink
ORIGIN: Found in many locations, including Brazil, India, Madagascar, and the U.S.
HISTORY AND LORE: Since the time of Greek myths, Rose Quartz has been thought to be the stone of unconditional love. Cupid, Roman god of desire and affection, was said to have bestowed Rose Quartz upon the Earth as a gift of love, passion, and happiness for all. Another legend tells a more tragic story. According to this myth, Ares, the Greek god of war, came in the form of a boar to kill Aphrodite’s lover, Adonis. In trying to save Adonis, Aphrodite cut herself on a briar bush. As their blood spilled, it came together over a Quartz crystal, staining the stone pink. Zeus took pity on the lovers, and restored Adonis to Aphrodite for six months every year. It’s because of this myth that Rose Quartz is thought of as a stone of reconciliation.
HEALING PROPERTIES: Wearing or holding Rose Quartz helps to heal all aspects of the heart. This stone emits strong vibrations of love. It’s a powerful ally when you want to attract a new relationship, love yourself more, or heal from past hurts. By tapping into the energy of the divine feminine, Rose Quartz will restore faith, compassion, harmony, and balance in all matters of the heart.
KEEPING THE LOVE ALIVE
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Time heals. As Timmi healed herself and developed her own self-love, her relationship with her husband, Jim, began to rekindle and heal as well. Instead of seeing him as imperfect, she realized that they were two perfectly imperfect people who still loved each other. But how were they going to deal with the anger and trust issues that existed between them? Would they ever be able to forgive one another? It started with communication, as well as ownership of their own demons.
They took the time to honestly express their feelings, and in doing so, the demons that had once haunted them became smaller and smaller. It didn’t happen overnight, of course, just as their problems didn’t develop overnight. It took commitment, faith, and patience on both their parts, and it’s still a work in progress. But that’s what makes successful, long-lasting relationships—growing together and regularly recommitting to one another.
KEEPING THE LOVE ALIVE RITUAL
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TIME FRAME:
10 days or as long as it takes for both partners to communicate their feelings
Most often in relationships, we disconnect from each other because we hold our feelings inside and don’t express them. When a relationship starts running on empty, how do you refill the empty tank with love? One huge secret is to accept your partner as they are. This isn’t always an easy task, but it’s the key to keeping the love alive.
Sometimes words can be taken the wrong way, but expressing your truth with authenticity, compassion, and love can bring people back together with renewed respect and commitment. The Keeping the Love Alive Ritual helps you express your truth, clear the air, and share with your partner what you most appreciate about them. This helps to uplift the relationship and refill it with love. The ritual allows each person to feel heard and respected and is designed to open your hearts so that you can communicate with love.
Practice this ritual every day for 10 days to foster a deeper connection to each other. Some couples like to do this as a daily ritual to maintain their loving connection.<
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One person should hold the Rhodonite, and the other the Kambaba Jasper. Pink and green are the colors of the heart chakra. The colors are not gender specific, so just choose the one you feel most attracted to. They represent the energies of yin and yang, which are part of every relationship, whether between different or same genders.
WHAT YOU’LL NEED:
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1 Rhodonite stone that fits in the palm of your hand for forgiveness, compassion, and releasing of fear
1 Kambaba Jasper stone that fits in the palm of your hand for overcoming fears, opening the heart, and restoring balance
1 sage stick
1 feather
1 abalone shell or fireproof container to catch ashes from the sage
RITUAL STEPS:
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Sage your environment, and cleanse your crystals.
Find a comfortable spot where you and your partner can sit back to back. In this way, you create a safe space so that each of you can be vulnerable and speak your truth without having to look each other in the eyes, while still maintaining a connection through the touch of your backs.
Each person holds a crystal in their hand, over their heart. Close your eyes, and take 3 deep breaths. Aloud or in your head, say the following: “I ask that the highest vibration of love and light connect with my highest self to clear all unwanted energy and any previous programming. I command this crystal to hold the intention of honesty, respect, and appreciation. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
As you hold the stones in your hands, sitting back to back, take turns freely sharing out loud 3 things that you find frustrating, annoying, or disappointing about your relationship. By sharing what bothers you and not holding it in, less resentment will build up, and you’ll allow space for more love between you. This is the time to get it all out, but be mindful of the way you use your words. Focus on how you feel when something happens (or doesn’t happen) within the relationship. Avoid placing blame. Take full ownership of your personal feelings by starting with “I feel,” and being careful to use I rather than you. Stating your feelings about a situation from your perspective helps prevent the other person from becoming defensive and shutting down.
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