When you’re both finished sharing, make sure each partner acknowledges hearing what was said. You can say something as simple as, “I hear you.”
Take note how it feels to hear what your partner says. Notice if it might be hard to listen and not interrupt. Remember that this is how your partner feels, so even if their words or actions weren’t intended to make you feel that way, the feelings exist. So just listen. Take a few moments to process what has been shared before moving to the next step.
Continue to hold the stones in your hands as you shift positions and face one another. Look in your partner’s eyes, and focus on the good in the other person. Say 3 things out loud that you love or appreciate about your partner. If you’re feeling very angry, it might be difficult to think of even one good thing to say. Make sure you choose something that’s sincere and authentic, but it can be simple and mundane like, “I appreciate that you said ‘good morning’ when we woke up today.” Recall all the things your partner does to make you happy. This will remind you why you fell in love in the first place. Use what you hear as encouragement to do more nice things for each other. To fill your tank back up with love, you must start with celebrating the positive aspects of your relationship and appreciating each other for who you are.
After each person has spoken their truth, sage the space again to clear the energy of the room.
Each person should place their stone on a nightstand while they sleep.
The following morning of each day of the ritual, place your crystals out in the Sun for at least 4 hours to cleanse and recharge them.
The next time you perform the ritual, change stones. The person who held the Kambaba Jasper should hold the Rhodonite and vice versa.
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART
___________
Healing from hurts can take a long time, but you can help the process move quickly with Rainbow Obsidian. Place a heart-shaped Rainbow Obsidian on your chest, close your eyes, and deepen your breath. This stone forces you to look in the mirror and see what parts of yourself you’ve projected on to others. You won’t be able to blame anyone else for relationship issues, and you’ll pinpoint what causes your heartache.
Now, think about the relationship that ended, and ask yourself, What lesson was this person brought into my life to teach me? Remember that in order to heal, you have to let go of resentment and move toward forgiveness. Really dig deep to discover the lessons. Maybe it was about boundaries, independence, or confidence. How have you grown since the relationship ended?
Once you discover what this person was meant to show you, the way you see them will shift. Then forgiveness will be easier, and you can put the relationship in the past so that you can welcome in both your best self and your best partner.
“Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow.”
— BRENÉ BROWN
researcher, storyteller, and #1 New York Times best-selling author
CHAPTER 9
BABY MAKES THREE
___________
CRYSTALS FOR FERTILITY, PREGNANCY, MISCARRIAGE, AND BIRTH
“There are no two pregnancies, births or babies that are the same. Everyone’s journey into motherhood is completely different and one of a kind.”
— LORI BREGMAN,
doula, life coach, and author of The Mindful Mom-to-Be
I GOT PREGNANT ON MY WEDDING NIGHT. YEP, I’M THAT GIRL. MY MOM WANTED TO BE A GRANDMA, AND SINCE I WAS 33 WHEN I “FINALLY GOT married,” she was beyond ready for a grandbaby. Wise woman that she is, she decided to take things into her own hands by being sneaky with some crystals. She used to be a clothing designer, so she naturally asked me if she could make my wedding dress. But while making the dress, she decided to handsew hundreds of Moonstones and other crystals into it. She told me that it would give the dress a magical energy that would “sparkle.” I didn’t put two and two together until I found out that I was pregnant and realized that she had chosen Moonstone because it’s the stone of fertility.
On top of that, my wedding band had 11 healing gemstones from different parts of the world. When my husband picked up the ring from the jeweler, he was warned that we would need to take extra precautions if we didn’t want to become pregnant. My wedding ring had been created under a very powerful Full Moon, and it was extremely fertile. Between my mom’s efforts and the energy of the ring, my destiny was set. I gave birth to my son, Orion, nine months after my wedding day.
The universe had another plan for me when it came to getting pregnant with my second child. It wasn’t nearly as simple as wearing Moonstones. This time I wanted to get pregnant, but nothing seemed to work. I tried everything.
I worked with a healer who educated me on proper nutrition. She performed energy healing on me twice a month to release energy stuck in my second chakra. I had specific bath rituals with herbs, and I made myself three crystal belts—one with Moonstone and Larimar; one with Moonstone, Ruby, and Chrysoprase; and one with Carnelian, Garnet, and Turquoise—all with the intention of aiding my fertility in different ways.
My daily mantra was to be patient, as everything happens in due time, but I began to wonder if I would ever be able to conceive another child.
A big shift happened when my husband, Jason, and I went to the Esalen Institute, a healing center in Big Sur, California, where we could come together as a couple and consciously make the time, space, and love needed to conceive. While in Big Sur, a mystical woman told us that if we found a natural circle of redwood trees, we should walk into the middle of them and pray. When we were on a hike later in our stay, it was as if a beam of light guided us. We found the redwood trees, perfectly and naturally standing in a circle. We held hands in the center as we prayed out loud to God, the trees, and each other for a baby.
While in Big Sur, we also created a baby vision board, which required us to open up about what new energy we wanted in our relationship. After our trip, I felt lighter and freer because I had let go and surrendered. I was 100 percent okay with whatever God had in store for me.
Well, just five days later, I found out I was pregnant again. My body and mind were healed, and our prayers were answered. This time I gave birth to my daughter, Sofia Rose.
CONSCIOUS CONCEPTION RITUAL
___________
TIME FRAME: 5 to 10 minutes daily for 15 days, beginning on a New Moon
A wise woman once told me that our children are our teachers. They pick us, not the other way around. We have to embody the energy a baby wants and needs in his or her future life. Conscious conception of a child—whether through the union of you and your partner or through adoption or surrogacy—is one of the most sacred experiences that life provides. In order to consciously create space for new life, your intentions and actions must work in harmony.
Invoking and co-creating new life is a beautiful spiritual and creative process that can’t be scheduled, rushed, or done methodically. This journey is about creating the unconditional love needed for a child to come into your life.
When you and your partner are ready to consciously conceive, deeply connect with each other through this crystal ritual. To best connect with the fertile energy of the Moon, start the ritual during a New Moon, which symbolizes the birth of something new. It’s the ideal time to plant new seeds and set new intentions, so it’s key to start the ritual during this time period. The Moon will continue to grow for approximately 14 days until it reaches its full expression as the Full Moon.
In our experience, couples who begin their Conscious Conception Ritual during the New Moon cycle and continue to connect with each other through the Full Moon have the best results. The process is different for everyone, but you can use this ritual as a starting point for generating the energy you need to consciously conceive. Then you can add whatever feels right to you as a couple, whether it’s taking a vacation, planning a romantic date, or simply spending time together mindfully.
Of course, we can’t promise that you’ll conceive af
ter this ritual. It’s about uniting your intention as a couple and creating a sacred space for conception to happen. Often, unvoiced fears, the need for everything to happen on a schedule, or becoming too methodical about the process will block a couple’s ability to conceive. The ritual may help you to alleviate those emotional blockages and restore conception to its true state of abundant love between partners.
WHAT YOU’LL NEED:
___________
1 Moonstone that fits in the palm of your hand to carry the energy of being open to receive
1 Carnelian stone that fits in the palm of your hand to carry the energy of action and moving forward
1 sage stick
1 feather
1 abalone shell or fireproof container to catch ashes from the sage
RITUAL STEPS:
___________
Sage your environment, and cleanse your crystals.
Together as a couple, gather your crystals, holding them in your hands. One person should hold the Moonstone and the other the Carnelian; choose whichever you’re the most attracted to. Find a comfortable place to sit together either outside under the Moon or inside in a space that feels sacred to you both.
Hold the crystals in your hands, close your eyes, and take 3 deep breaths. Aloud or in your head, say the following: “We ask that the highest vibration of love and light connect with our highest selves to clear all unwanted energy and any previous programming. We command these crystals to hold the intention of being blessed with a healthy baby. We are ready to be loving, caring, and conscious parents. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
After you’ve programmed your crystals, take this time to talk to each other about this intention. Talk about how life will look, feel, and change when you have a baby. Talk about how this makes you both feel, voicing your excitement, fears, and anything you may be struggling with.
Close your eyes, and visualize your intention coming to life. Picture it in your mind’s eye, and experience it with your senses—the smells, sounds, and feelings of holding a baby.
When you’re finished visualizing, place your crystals together on a nightstand. Your crystals will hold the energy of your united intention.
For the next 14 days, through the Full Moon, repeat steps 2 through 6.
MORE STONES TO HELP YOU CONCEIVE
___________
To amplify your conceiving energy, you can also add these stones to your ritual if you feel called to do so. They help to increase fertility by releasing emotional blockages:
GARNET to stimulate the flow of energy and movement
FLUORITE to increase libido
ROSE QUARTZ to foster unconditional love and self-love
RHODONITE to heal emotional wounds
CHRYSOPRASE to open yourself up to receive
CRYSTAL SECRET FOR FERTILITY
___________
To further increase fertility, wear a gemstone belt around your bare belly so that it touches your skin. Make the belt with flat Moonstones, Rubies, Carnelians, Citrines, and Chrysoprases.
Moonstone
___________
WISDOM KEEPER:
DESTINY MAKER
COLOR: Opalescent, ranging from colorless to white
ORIGIN: Found in many locations, including Australia, Brazil, Burma, India, Madagascar, Mexico, Sri Lanka, and the U.S.
HISTORY AND LORE: Moonstone has the reputation of being the stone of fertility. It’s aligned with the energy of the Moon, and thus is connected to a woman’s cycle. It has been used as a symbol of love and clarity since the Middle Ages. Indian astrologers believe having a Moonstone is a way to befriend the Moon. Holding Moonstones under the Full Moon is thought to make you feel connected to the universal rhythms of life.
HEALING PROPERTIES: The milky radiance of this crystal represents tenderness, and is believed to bring lovers closer together. Moonstone is a magical stone that connects you to your divine feminine and inner goddess. It helps you unlock the energy of the Moon that resides within you, thereby keeping you in a more balanced state.
THE PAIN OF MISCARRIAGE
___________
During the time between having Orion and trying to conceive Sofia Rose, I got pregnant but lost the baby after three months. Every day I cried alone, feeling ashamed. I blamed myself for not being able to hold the baby in my body. I questioned everything in my life, from the foods I ate to my work schedule to my mental state. Each day I became more and more depressed, feeling as though a very dark cloud had landed on my heart and was never going to go away.
Several months later, my mom shared a story with me. She looked me in the eyes and said, “Remember when Grandma died, and I was overwhelmed with grief and cried for months? One day you looked at me and said, ‘Mom, if you don’t stop crying about Grandma, she’ll never be free to rest and be in peace. She needs to know that you’re strong enough to let her go.’” My mom then paused. “That’s still the best advice anyone has ever given me.”
That was exactly what I needed to hear to start the healing process. I also needed the help of a touchstone, however, so I reached for a large piece of Carnelian and held it in my hands. It’s as if the crystal was saying, “I have been here waiting for you. Let’s get your joy back.”
After I took my son to school each day, I would head to YogaWorks in Santa Monica, where I would place a piece of Carnelian on my mat as I breathed, sweated, and cried. I had bottled up all my shame, not telling anyone I had miscarried, and blocking myself from others. I let grief fill my body, but as I worked with the Carnelian, it helped me release that emotion. I did this five days a week until all my tears moved out of me.
At that point, I was raw enough that when someone asked me how I was, I actually told them about the miscarriage. I said it out loud. When I finally released that trapped energy, the healing started. I found other women who had also gone through a miscarriage, and I suddenly had a community I could lean on as I healed.
MISCARRIAGE RITUAL
___________
TIME FRAME:
21 minutes daily for 40 days
Often when we’re grieving, we ignore the things we know we need to do. It took months for me to reach for a crystal, even though I knew it was exactly what I needed. My wake-up call was my mother reminding me of the words I had offered to her.
If you’ve also been through a miscarriage or a stillbirth and have yet to heal, use this moment right now as your wake-up call. Stop avoiding what you know you need to do, and allow yourself to heal.
It’s important to do this Miscarriage Ritual for 40 days straight. (For the significance of the 40 days.) If you miss a day, you must start back on day 1. The time investment is 21 minutes a day. If you can’t commit to 21 minutes a day for yourself, how can you expect to heal? Nobody can do this for you. It’s up to you, but you do have the power to start the healing process. It will just take a daily investment of time to nurture your soul. You’re worth it!
WHAT YOU’LL NEED:
___________
1 Carnelian crystal to reignite joy and passion
1 Black Onyx crystal to release grief and pain
1 Smoky Quartz crystal to let go of the past and reconnect to yourself
1 Rainbow Obsidian crystal to allow yourself to bring the truth to the surface
1 timer
1 journal
1 pen
1 bar of lavender soap
1 sage stick
1 feather
1 abalone shell or fireproof container to catch ashes from the sage
RITUAL STEPS:
___________
Sage your environment, and cleanse your crystals.
After cleansing them, hold the crystals in your hands, close your eyes, and take 3 deep breaths. Aloud or in your head, say the following: “I ask that the highest vibration of love and light connect with my highest self to clear all unwanted energy and any previous programming. I command these crystals to hold the intention of letting go, healing, and releasing. Thank y
ou, thank you, thank you.”
Lie down in a comfortable position. Place the Black Onyx and Smoky Quartz on either side of your groin, and place the Carnelian at your navel, creating a healing triangular formation of energy.
Remain lying down with this grid on your body for 15 minutes every night before going to bed. Healing is an ebb and flow process, so some days you may feel nothing, while other days you’ll feel overwhelmed with emotion. Be patient with the process.
First thing in the morning, hold a piece of Rainbow Obsidian in your nondominant hand. Set the timer for 5 minutes, and start freewriting in your journal. Let all the darkest parts of your mind spill out onto the page. “Why me? Why did this have to happen?” Allow yourself to purge the pain, sadness, grief, self-loathing, disappointment, and anger about losing the baby. Get it out. Once the timer goes off, stop writing.
Now set the timer for 1 minute. Stand up, and start shaking your body. This is how you shake your energy field. Shake your hands, feet, and legs. Jump up and down. Shake off all the negative emotions in your aura. Move as rigorously as you can until the timer goes off.
Every day, carry the Carnelian stone with you. Connect with it when emotions begin to arise during the day. Connecting with its energy will help you know what to do in each moment.
Crystal Muse Page 13
