Every day, wash your body with a bar of lavender soap. This purifies emotional cords of attachment and promotes mental clarity.
At the end of the 40 days, rip out all the pages you’ve written in your journal, and burn them in a fireplace, barbecue, or metal bucket. Watch all your grief and sadness go up in flames and become ashes. You no longer need to hold on to it.
Once the ashes have cooled, gather what’s left, as well as the Rainbow Obsidian, Smoky Quartz, Black Onyx, and Carnelian, and bury all of them in the Earth. Ask your higher power to help you surrender the pain and forgive yourself for anything you feel responsible for. As you bury the stones in the soil, know that Mother Earth is taking your pain away.
Congratulate yourself for staying committed to your journey of healing. You’ve gained new insight about yourself through this process. You’re wiser and stronger!
THE DISCOMFORT OF PREGNANCY
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While Timmi was pregnant with her first child, JB, she felt that the pregnancy glow had passed her by. One day, she was to have lunch with a group of our friends. She squeezed her belly into a trendy pair of overalls with a flannel shirt—something she would normally wear when she wasn’t pregnant. But as much as she tried not to feel like a balloon, she had this crushing feeling: I’m just not at home in my own skin anymore.
During the lunch, she watched her girlfriends enjoy their fancy cocktails, while she drank lemon water. Her mind started racing. Why are my ankles so huge? How am I going to handle missing out on all the fun for the rest of my pregnancy? She hated the way she looked and felt, and nothing about pregnancy seemed right. Many women love being pregnant, but all Timmi could think was, How am I going to enjoy being a mother if I can’t stand being pregnant?
Unfortunately, for most women, these kinds of doubts, fears, and anxieties come up at some point during pregnancy. During the first three months, many women don’t even share that they’re pregnant. There’s the fear that they might lose the baby. Then, once they clear the first three months, all the fears and anxieties about being a mother come to the surface. Am I going to be a good mom? Can I afford everything this child needs? Will I ever have free time to myself or date nights with my partner again? I don’t even recognize my own body!
Emotions that we’ve never experienced before come right in the middle of this sacred time when new life is growing inside us. It’s natural and normal, but it’s unnerving. The pregnancy Soak in the Love Ritual will help you connect with your baby, your body, and your emotions in a heartfelt space.
SOAK IN THE LOVE RITUAL: A BABY BONDING RITUAL
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TIME FRAME:
10 to 20 minutes as often as needed
WHAT YOU’LL NEED:
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2 Rose Quartz crystals for unconditional love
1 cup unscented bubble bath
1 handful of fresh rose petals
OPTIONAL: a candle, soothing music, Epsom salts (1 cup), essential oils
RITUAL STEPS:
Just as a precaution, when pregnant, we do not recommend you sage during this ritual.
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Cleanse your crystals by placing them out in the Sun for at least 4 hours.
Hold the crystals in your hands, close your eyes, and take 3 deep breaths. Aloud or in your head, say the following: “I ask that the highest vibration of love and light connect with my highest self to clear all unwanted energy and any previous programming. I command these crystals to hold the intention of love, blessings, and happiness. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Place the Rose Quartz crystals in a bathtub filled with warm (not hot) water.
Add the bubble bath, rose petals, and any other essentials to create the perfect ambience for your bath.
Once you’re in the tub, place one of the Rose Quartz crystals over your heart and the other over your belly. Breathe in deeply, and visualize yourself connecting with your baby, heart to heart.
Close your eyes. Breathe in self-love. Breathe out fear, judgment, and perfection. Breathe in confidence, trust, and love. Breathe out doubt, worry, and uncertainty. Breathe in excitement, blessings, and happiness. Continue this process for 10 to 20 minutes until you feel content, relaxed, and calm.
When you’re done, sprinkle the rose petals on the ground outside to return them to the Earth. Recharge your Rose Quartz crystals in the Sun for a few hours so that they’re ready for your next bath.
SETTING THE STAGE FOR A SACRED BIRTH
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When my daughter was 12 hours old, my doctor came into my hospital room to check on me. What he saw made him stop in his tracks. “Uh . . . is it okay to come in?” he asked. I was on my hospital bed with small stones outlining my silhouette. I had large chunks of Rose Quartz, Citrine, and Carnelian placed around the room. Roses sat on every surface. My essential oil spray had filled the room with the healing smell of lavender, and the mantra om was playing on repeat. My daughter was resting on my chest, and a woman stood over me, moving energy through our bodies.
“Sure,” I said. “This is my Reiki master. She’s just giving my daughter her first energy treatment to welcome her to the Earth.”
The doctor didn’t have to say anything. The expression on his face said it all. I can guarantee he’d never heard that before.
Most women have a bag prepared so that when it’s time to go into labor, everything they need is ready for a comfortable trip to the hospital. While I had that bag, I also had a bag dedicated to my crystals and sacred birth space. It had everything I needed to ensure that my birthing space was a beautiful and loving environment for my child to enter.
Surprise, surprise, these were not the only things I had packed for my birthing experience. Additionally, I had prepared a cooler full of ice for my placenta after the birth. My plan was for Timmi to take it from the hospital to give it to my acupuncturist. It would be made into capsules to help balance my hormones after the birth and help prevent postpartum depression. Our plan was a success, but JB did notice it in the fridge and asked, “Mom, what’s this?”
Timmi responded, “It’s Heather’s placenta. Don’t touch it.” I don’t think she had to tell him twice!
SACRED BIRTHING RITUAL
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TIME FRAME:
Will vary due to labor time
While you might not want to go to the lengths I did for my birthing experience, you’ll definitely want to create a space for this beautiful moment and honor the sacred energy of childbirth. The crystals in this ritual will create a high vibrational space for the mother and baby to share the sacred time during the birthing process. Have the items ready to take with you when labor begins.
WHAT YOU’LL NEED:
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4 Shungite cubes to seal the room with protection
1 Selenite wand to raise the vibration of your space
2 pieces of Black Tourmaline that fit comfortably in your hands to release fear, doubts, and pain
1 small Rose Quartz crystal for love
1 Hematite crystal for grounding
1 Amethyst crystal for peace and protection
RITUAL STEPS:
Just as a precaution, when pregnant, we do not recommend you sage during this ritual.
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To make sure your crystals are ready and cleared, cleanse them by placing them out in the Sun for at least 4 hours before your projected due date.
Place all your crystals in front of you, close your eyes, and take 3 deep breaths. Aloud or in your head, say the following: “I ask that the highest vibration of love and light connect with my highest self to clear all unwanted energy and any previous programming. I command these crystals to hold the intention of stability, grounding of excess energy, and inner peace. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
For protection, place a Shungite cube in each corner of the room.
Place the Amethyst under your birthing bed to hold the space for peace and protec
tion.
Place the Selenite on the table in front of you to guide the baby out. Lori Bregman, our friend and doula, has noticed babies are drawn to its positive and high vibrational energy and will follow the energy out into the world.
During labor, place the Rose Quartz in a safe place next to the birthing bed to open yourself to giving and receiving unconditional love.
Place a piece of Black Tourmaline in each of your hands. Visualize the stones pulling out any fears, doubts, or physical pain.
Place the Hematite by your feet to ground your energy.
Bring whatever other sacred items you’d like to have with you. These could include essential oils, a vision board, a special music playlist, photos of loved ones, or symbols or images that represent your faith.
NEW BEGINNINGS
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Timmi had just given birth to her second son, Will, and he was in his “coming home onesie” as he nestled in her arms. Timmi’s older son, JB, was playing in his room when she brought Will into their home for the first time. She lowered Will down so that JB could see him, and in a split second, JB wound up his arm and smacked Will across the face.
Timmi immediately burst into tears, in horror that her precious two-day-old son had just been hit in the face by his brother. She wrapped her arms even more tightly around her crying baby.
Timmi understood that JB couldn’t completely process what was happening. After all, he’d been the one and only for two and a half years. She was thankful that her mother and grandmother were there to lend the extra support she and JB needed. Four generations got through a difficult time together.
It’s with moments like these that we realize as mothers the sacredness of the first year of a baby’s life. It’s the beginning of your infinite relationship with your child. Your heart lives outside your body because you love your baby so much and want to nurture and protect them from harm and suffering. It’s during this time that you have the ability to create a sacred and spiritual relationship with your child.
While you won’t always be able to protect your baby from suffering, you can show them what unconditional love feels like and develop a bond so strong that you’re able to openly share the ups and downs of life together.
NEW BEGINNING RITUAL
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TIME FRAME: 40 days as needed
Giving birth is a life-altering experience that’s both profound and intense. It’s important to take time to adjust to this new life so that you can heal and bond with your new baby. Many ancient cultures believe that the first 40 days are when a mom must strive to adjust to motherhood and establish a safe and protected environment for the baby to adjust to being out of the womb.
This New Beginnings Ritual will assist in keeping your environment cleansed and harmonious so that you can stay focused on bonding with your baby, while also staying present and connected with any other children you have.
This ritual is about creating a high vibrational and protective environment for your family to bond. Within this space, it’s important to call on your partner, family, and tribe of friends to lighten your load by bringing you meals or helping with family and household responsibilities. This time period is about surrendering what you can so that your time is spent with your new baby. If you have other children, remember that this is a transitional time for them as well. Call in your patience, and practice this mantra: Breathe and take it one day at a time!
WHAT YOU’LL NEED:
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1 small Jasper stone for grounding energy (a stone small enough to fit into the opening of a glass spray bottle)
1 small Black Onyx stone for protection (a stone small enough to fit into the opening of a glass spray bottle)
1 small Blue Lace Agate stone for harmony (a stone small enough to fit into the opening of a glass spray bottle)
3 Celestite crystals for one windowsill in each room to bring a high vibrational, calming, and uplifting energy
1 4-ounce glass spray bottle that is blue or amber in color (glass is recommended rather than plastic because plastic’s toxins can seep into the contents of your spray)
Spring or distilled water
RITUAL STEPS:
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Cleanse your crystals by placing them out in the Sun for at least 4 hours.
Hold the crystals in your hands, close your eyes, and take 3 deep breaths. Aloud or in your head, say the following: “I ask that the highest vibration of love and light connect with my highest self to clear all unwanted energy and any previous programming. I command these crystals to hold the intention of harmony, bonding, and unification in the home. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Place the Celestite stones on the windowsills in the rooms where you spend most of your time, as well as in the newborn’s room and siblings’ bedrooms. Placing the crystals on the windowsills allows the Sun to hit them, sending their energy into the room. Celestite holds the energy of peace, and it also attracts angels into the environment.
To create an energy cleansing spray, first put the crystals into the glass bottle, the Jasper for grounding energy, the Black Onyx for clearing energy, and the Blue Lace Agate for harmony and joy.
Then, fill the bottle to the top with water.
To purify the energy in the rooms, use your spray throughout the day in the rooms when they’re vacant.
“Stepping into motherhood can be one of the most healing, freeing, self-realizing, higher-level experiences of your entire life. It’s the ultimate service.”
— SOPHIE JAFFE,
wellness guru, Philosophie founder, and mama to Kai and Leo
CHAPTER 10
SWEET DREAMS
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TIPS AND TRICKS FOR A BETTER NIGHT’S SLEEP
“Sleep is the deepest cleanse.”
— KELLY LEVEQUE,
holistic nutritionist
PEOPLE OFTEN ASK ME, “WHAT ARE THE BEST CRYSTALS TO HELP WITH INSOMNIA AND ANXIETY?” I ALWAYS ASK THE FOLLOWING question first before I introduce crystals into the mix: Do you have a mirror, TV, or computer in your bedroom?
I have to admit—I’ve almost always been pretty lucky when it comes to getting a good night’s sleep. I have a few secrets, however, that have helped me stay that way throughout most of my life. Without mirrors, TVs, or computers, my decor in the bedroom is very sparse to the point that I’m often startled by how barren it feels when I walk into it—especially compared to the other rooms in the house. My bed is placed in my best magnetic sleeping direction (try Googling Feng Shui sleeping direction chart), and it rests against a solid wall for support.
I always make sure to energetically cleanse and purify my bedroom every morning. I know it sounds time-consuming to do every day, but getting a good night’s sleep is that important to me. I’ve noticed that when I don’t purify and cleanse the bedroom daily, the room feels heavy and dense, which affects my sleep.
So if you want to do more than envy my ability to sleep well through the night, get rid of those mirrors and screens, or at least make sure they’re covered with a cloth while you sleep. Reflective surfaces, especially mirrors, double the energy in your room. This same energy bounces back and forth throughout the night, staying active while you sleep.
Call it a myth, Feng Shui taboo, or superstition, but some cultures believe that when you sleep at night, your soul leaves your body. If it sees its reflection in a mirror and gets startled, this is what results in restless sleep and nightmares. Some believe that mirrors need to be covered so that a dreamer’s wandering soul doesn’t get trapped in the mirror.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m trying to do a lot of soul work in this lifetime, so it’s more important than ever that I keep my soul intact. (If you don’t believe this theory, try an at-home experiment by covering all the mirrors, TVs, electronics, and reflective devices in your bedroom for a week. Find out if you sleep better.)
My next question to people who want to alleviate insomnia is this: Do
you have water or images of water in the bedroom? Once again, it could be a myth, but it’s said that water in the bedroom has the potential to bring you financial loss. And of course worrying about finances is a sure way to keep you up at night.
My third question: Is your room cluttered? Bedrooms filled with clutter make your mind feel cluttered, which also makes it hard to sleep.
Fourth: Have you cleansed your bedroom with sage, opening all the windows and letting the sunshine in? If not, do it, and I promise it will make a big difference.
Finally we get to the crystals. Rose Quartz, Amethyst, Selenite, and Blue Lace Agate are your crystal allies for a good night’s sleep. Place them on your nightstand, on a windowsill in your bedroom, or under your pillow. They create a very Zen, soothing energy.
So, that’s my go-to formula, and it worked like a charm for years . . . until suddenly it didn’t. I was wide awake one night at 1 A.M. as if it were 7 A.M. Something wasn’t right. It was pitch black outside, and my mind wouldn’t stop racing. I need to get to sleep, I need to get to sleep. If I don’t get to sleep soon, I’m going to be a zombie tomorrow. This “mantra” continued to play in my head on repeat for the next hour. I decided to scan my bedroom to see if something was off:
Bedroom clutter-free: Check.
Bed in best magnetic direction against solid wall: Check.
No mirrors or reflective surfaces: Check.
Bedroom cleansed and purified: Check.
Tranquil crystals under the pillow and on the windowsill and nightstand: Check, check, and check.
Ugh! My environment was holding the space for sleep, but my mind wasn’t cooperating. It was time to look deeper, as I hadn’t been sleeping well for weeks. I was stressed out about life—the world, politics, chemtrails, money, my family—it all seemed so overwhelming. Normally I could get it together, bring it all back into perspective, and be in the now. But that was no longer the case. And on that day in that moment after 1 A.M., my mind took me on a toxic ride of fear and negativity. I wasn’t strong enough to make it stop.
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