The last week I’d been able to steer clear of Jude’s advances and there’d been no more kissing, but my God did I want to. I hated myself for liking him, and I hated him even more for causing me to have such conflicting feelings. I didn’t know how much longer my defenses would last against him. I was hoping my week away would help me to fortify my walls to ensure that he didn’t break through.
“Pap?” Jude called out as we walked inside. “Pap?” He called again when there was no answer.
He looked at me worriedly and my stomach dropped. Oh no, he couldn’t have…
“Pap!” Jude ran up the steps, taking them two at a time. “He’s not here!” He called down a moment later.
I frantically started to search the bottom level but Jerry wasn’t there either. This was bad.
I was terrified he was having one of his episodes and had wandered off. On a property this large the chances of finding him in the dark…yeah, it didn’t look good.
In the sunroom, I caught sight of him out the window. I let out a sigh of relief.
“Found him!” I called out to Jude. I wasn’t sure where he had gone to look. “He’s outside!” Not bothering to wait for him I darted outside, running towards Jerry. He just stood there in the middle of knee high grass looking up at the stars.
“Hello, Tatum,” he said, not even looking at me.
“Jerry,” I tugged on his arm, “it’s cold out, you should come inside.”
“I wonder if she’s up there,” he murmured, like I wasn’t even there. “I wonder if each star is someone that was on this earth once—a person that shined brighter than others. My Mae,” he clucked his tongue, laughing softly, “she shined brighter than anyone I’ve ever known.”
I leaned my head on his shoulder and my racing heart calmed. “I bet she’s right there then,” I pointed at the brightest star I could see. It sparkled in the moonlight. “Look at that, she’s winking at you.”
He reached up and blindly patted my cheek. “Jude didn’t tell me you were coming.”
“I begged him,” I grinned up at the sky.
“He doesn’t want you around me,” Jerry stated, “he’s afraid I’ll tell you something embarrassing.”
“Like what?” I laughed.
“That boy cares more for you than he’d like to admit,” he told me.
“That’s not true. He doesn’t even know me.” Although, that wasn’t really true. While we’d never been friends, we had grown up in the same town all our lives, and with this little question game we had going on we knew each other pretty dang well now.
“How do you ever really know someone?” Jerry countered. “People are always changing. Sometimes, it’s about how you feel them.”
“Feel them?” I questioned, my brows drawing together.
He nodded, placing a hand on his heart. “It what you feel in here, and recognize in the other person, that matters. There’s good and bad in everyone. No one’s perfect, Tatum. Definitely not my grandson, but he has a big heart to offer you.” I wanted to tell him that I didn’t want Jude’s heart, but that would be rude and untrue, because a part of me yearned strongly for the brown-eyed man I was desperate to hate. But the thing about hate is, eventually it disappears and I think I’d just about used all mine up.
Jerry and I stood looking up at the stars for a few minutes longer. When we turned to go back inside, Jude was a few feet behind us watching us curiously.
“Pap, why were you out here by yourself? That’s not safe,” Jude frowned, looking his grandpa over carefully to make sure he was unharmed.
“I’m fine, boy,” Jerry waved a hand dismissively as he headed for the back door. “You worry too much.”
“Of course I worry,” Jude sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Have you eaten dinner?”
“Yes, I didn’t know you two were coming,” Jerry said, holding the door open for us to follow. “It’s a nice surprise. There are leftovers in the refrigerator if you’re hungry.”
My stomach rumbled at the mention of food. Besides a Special K bar after my last class I hadn’t eaten anything in hours. Jude chuckled, having heard the noise. Great.
Jerry headed to the den and a moment later we heard the sounds of the TV.
Jude opened the fridge and pulled out a plastic container. Popping the lid off, he inhaled the scent, and breathed happily, “Mmm, meatloaf. Pap makes the best meatloaf.”
“I’m pretty sure your Pap makes the best everything,” I commented as he found plates and cut a square out for each of us. “Are you as talented in the kitchen as he is?”
“No.”
“He’s lying!” Jerry called from the other room, eavesdropping on our conversation.
I quirked a brow at Jude. “Is that true?”
He shrugged. “I can cook, just not this good.”
“Lies!” Came Jerry’s voice again.
I couldn’t help laughing. The way Jude and his grandpa behaved around each other, well…it was heartwarming. They liked to pick on each other, but there was a bond there that was indestructible. It was obvious that his grandpa was his father figure, and I wondered if his grandma had been more like his mom than his own. I was dying to know why Jude didn’t have much to do with his parents, but that was none of my business so I was keeping my mouth shut…for now.
Jude set the warmed plates of food on the table and I got us cups of ice water. It felt weird to be sitting at a table just the two of us enjoying a meal. It was so simple, so easy. I never thought I’d use either of those words to describe Jude and I. Wow, we’d come a long way in a few short weeks in the sense that I didn’t contemplate all the ways I could kill him with my bare hands every time I was in a room with him.
I studied his strong chin and brow, his full lips that had felt like heaven against mine, and something I’d never felt before stirred inside me.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
I shook my head forcefully, bowing my head so my hair hid my face and concealed the embarrassment staining my cheeks. “I didn’t know I was,” I muttered.
Suddenly his fingers smoothed my hair back and my chin was forced up so I had to look at him. His eyes were such a warm brown, like melted chocolate. “You can look all you want, pretty girl. I don’t mind.”
Of course he didn’t, but I did. Jude Brooks was the last person I should have these…these…fluttery feelings about. It wasn’t okay with me. But the heart wants what it wants, and mine very clearly yearned for Jude. I didn’t understand how I could go from hating someone with every fiber of my being to wanting them. Actually, it was more than a simple want. I craved him. But I was determined to deny my feelings until either they went away, or he gave up on waiting for me, because he would give up on me eventually…everyone did.
“Hey,” he said, his voice deepening with seriousness. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine,” I assured him.
“That look on your face doesn’t seem fine to me,” he commented, tilting his head slightly as he studied me.
I bit my lip, letting out a heavy sigh. “I think I’m just really tired.”
He nodded his head, like that was answer enough.
We finished eating in silence, cleaned the dishes, and joined Jerry in the living room to watch some TV before we left for the evening.
When we said our goodbyes, Jerry called me Julia and Jude had become Andrew. It broke my heart, seeing Jerry regress into his mind and into a time that was no more. I knew it had to be even more painful for Jude.
Back on campus, Jude parked his truck in the empty spot beside my old red Mazda. I didn’t say anything as I got out and headed to my car. I jumped in surprise when I heard the driver’s side door of the truck close. Jude had never gotten out of his truck before when he dropped me off.
He came around to where I stood by my car, leaning so close to me that you couldn’t fit a sheet of paper between us.
My breath faltered as he stared into my eyes. His look was intense, searing me strai
ght to my core.
A few weeks ago I would’ve pushed him away and cussed him out for standing this close. I did neither of those things.
My heart raced dangerously fast as he lowered his head. I thought for sure he was going to kiss me, but he didn’t. I was learning that Jude was full of surprises.
He brushed my hair back over my shoulder and nuzzled my neck. The light stubble on his cheeks and chin grazed my skin, causing me to shiver. “I just want to see you happy,” he breathed against my skin. Then his lips were on my cheek, oh so close to my mouth, but he pulled away from me before it went any further. He turned hastily and strode to his truck. I watched him get in and pull out of the parking lot while I was left standing there, panting like I’d run a marathon, and wondering what the hell had just happened.
Chapter Thirteen
“Oh, hell to the no!” I seethed, standing on my front porch at six in the morning with two suitcases by my side. “No one told me he was coming!” I pointed an accusing finger at Jude.
Rowan rolled her eyes as Trent grabbed one of the suitcases and Jude got the other. “I knew you wouldn’t come if I told you Jude was coming too.”
“You’re right,” I agreed. “This feels like a setup,” I accused her. Rowan, Trent, Jude and me…yeah, that was a bit too cozy for my liking. I’d been the third wheel when I thought it was only the three of us, but I’d never had a problem doing things on my own before. But now…I was going to be stuck with Jude. I’d been hoping to use this time to get over my…crush—I cringed at the word—on him. Stuck in a house 24/7 with him was going to prove futile to my plan. I was so screwed. Unless I didn’t go. “I think I’m going to stay home.”
“Tatum, don’t make me get Trent to drag you into this car,” she warned, “you know I will.”
Judging from her serious tone and the look in her eyes, I believed her, and I knew Trent would do whatever she told him.
“Fine, I’ll go, but I won’t enjoy a minute of this vacation,” I spat venomously as I passed her on my way to the car. Staring up at Jude, I warned, “Don’t try anything.”
He chuckled and raised his hands in surrender. “I’ll try, but no promises.”
Great.
Jude opened one of the back passenger doors and waved a hand for me to get inside. With a bunch of grumbling, I finally did. I heard him laugh as the door closed and jogged around to the other side, sitting so close to me that our knees grazed.
The car we were in was some kind of fancy SUV that I knew didn’t belong to Trent or Row. I figured Trent had borrowed it from his mom, since neither of their cars were made for long distance traveling.
I hated that our spring break was so early, in April, so the weather was always cool. I really hoped it would be much warmer at the beach, but on the east coast you never knew.
Jude tapped his fingers along his jean-clad thigh to the beat of the song playing on the radio. I let out a sigh and turned to look out the window.
It was going to be a long drive.
“This is your beach house,” I gasped when we pulled up to the gate blocking the entrance. It wasn’t huge, but it certainly wasn’t small either. I’d been picturing a cottage. This looked like something you’d see in the movies. The siding was navy blue, with white shutters, a deck, and stairs leading up to the dark wood door. The gate swung open and Trent drove through, pushing a button to open the garage door—which he didn’t park in because there were two dune buggies and two jet skis.
“Yeaaaah!” Jude clapped his hands, “This is going to be awesome!”
We eased from the car and got our luggage from the trunk.
Jude took one of my suitcases and started wheeling it away before I could protest. I got the other, following behind him.
Trent passed us, pulling a key out of his pocket to unlock the door in the garage that led into the house.
I gasped again when I saw the interior. Everything was done in pale yellows and whites, with pops of blue here and there. It didn’t sound like it would work together, but it did.
“Welcome home,” Trent grinned, tossing his keys on the marble countertop in the kitchen. Everything was so sparkly, shiny, and new.
“This is beautiful,” I told him, looking around in awe. Before Graham’s passing, we’d vacationed twice a year but we’d never stayed anywhere this nice.
“Come on guys, I’ll show you your room.” Trent took my suitcase from my hand, starting up the steps.
“Wait,” I shook my head, stunned, “I notice you said room not rooms.”
“There’s two beds,” he winked, jogging up with my suitcase like it weighed nothing.
“Rowan!” I screamed at the top of my lungs when she came into the room. “I hate you!” I stomped up the steps, Jude following behind as he laughed hysterically. I was pissed. Actually, I was beyond pissed. I was whatever came after pissed…livid maybe? I was too mad to even think of the right word.
Trent opened a door and motioned me inside.
Sure enough, there were two queen-sized beds, so at least there was that. But it didn’t make up for the fact that I was sharing a room with Jude. I couldn’t escape him.
“Please, tell me you’re messing with me?” I begged Trent.
He shook his head. “Sorry, Tate. This is all there is right now. There’s another bedroom, but it’s used as an office. Trace and I shared this room growing up.”
I let out a heavy sigh. This was okay. I was okay. I was strong, I could make it through this week. I nodded my head and Trent left with an apologetic shake of his head.
I sat on the bed closest to the window, claiming it as my own. I drew my knees up and rested my head on top.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jude remove his beanie and toss it on the other bed. He ruffled his brown hair and turned to look at me. I couldn’t read his expression to know whether he was happy about our sleeping arrangements or not.
“I’ll sleep on the couch,” he told me.
While that would certainly make me feel better, I didn’t want Jude to be uncomfortable for the whole vacation. After all, this was his break too, and I wasn’t that mean of a person.
“No,” I shook my head, and his eyes widened in surprise, “that would be silly.”
He looked like he was going to argue, but the sight of the comfy bed deterred him. He jumped on the one beside me and bounced up and down a few times before settling. “Hey, roomie,” he grinned. “I don’t sleep with any clothes on, in case you were wondering,” he waggled his brows.
And now I regretted my decision not to let him sleep on the couch. This was going to be the longest week of my life.
“Don’t worry, I’ll leave my boxers on to shield your sensitive eyes,” he continued, his lips turned up in a wry smile.
“You better,” I groaned, rolling onto my back and crooking my arm over my eyes.
I hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, worried over my decision to leave my mom alone for a week, and hadn’t slept in the car. So I was exhausted.
“Tired?” Jude asked, no doubt catching my eyes threatening to drift closed.
“Mhmm,” I hummed, counting sheep—it was something I’d always done since I was a child before I went to sleep.
“Me too,” he yawned.
We got up an hour later and ate a late lunch. Everyone wanted to head to the beach, and I cringed at the thought of Jude checking me out in my bikini.
I changed in the bathroom connected to the room we shared. I knew he was just on the other side of the door changing too and for some reason that thought made my heart speed up.
I adjusted the straps of my white bikini with yellow daisies on it to make sure nothing came popping out. The last thing I wanted was to give Jude or any of the other beachgoers a show.
Thankfully, I’d been smart enough to bring a pullover with me so I wouldn’t be completely exposed. Only, I’d left it in the other room…where Jude was…which meant he’d watch me
walk out of here all awkward-like as I tried to hide my body from him. It wasn’t that I was shy or had body image issues, I just didn’t like being stared at.
To stall for time, I braided my hair to the side, letting it hang down. I added a bit of waterproof mascara to my lashes and pale pink gloss to my lips.
I sighed, knowing I couldn’t hide in the bathroom forever.
I knocked on the door before I opened it. I didn’t want to get an eyeful.
“I’m decent,” Jude chuckled. “Took you long enough,” he grumbled, reclining on the bed. His eyes instantly widened, zeroing in on my chest and then to the soft swell of my hips. I held my head high and willed my cheeks not to flush.
“Yeah, well, I’m a girl. With as many as you’ve been with you should know it takes us a while to get ready,” I retorted.
“Not that long,” he winked, tossing his beanie up and then catching it.
“Oh, ew!” I wrinkled my nose once I got his meaning.
I opened my suitcase and searched through it for the heather gray pullover I wanted. It was more like a sweatshirt, but I thought I would need it.
When I turned around from putting on the sweatshirt, it was obvious Jude had been looking at my butt. I narrowed my eyes and he chuckled in response. He wasn’t at all ashamed at having been caught.
“You ready?” He asked.
“Hold on,” I held up a finger as I gathered more stuff in my beach bag. I pulled a pair of shorts out of my suitcase and put those on as well. They didn’t cover that much skin, but they did cover more than the bikini bottoms and I didn’t like the way Jude was looking at my long legs…like he wanted to lick them or something.
Sliding sunglasses on top of my head, I slung my bag over my shoulder and said, “Now I’m ready.”
Jude slid lithely off the bed and stretched his arms above his head. He tapped the top of the doorway on our way out.
Trent and Row were already waiting downstairs, by the backdoor. Trent had his arms wrapped around her from behind, and whispered something in her ear, which made her giggle.
She looked up, her cheeks flushed with warmth and smiled when she saw us.
“Y’all ready?” Trent asked, then nibbled on her earlobe. She giggled and pulled away. Rowan might’ve been madly in love with Trent, but she still struggled with public displays of affection. I had to admit that she was much better now than she had been a year ago.
Saving Tatum (Trace + Olivia #4) Page 12
