Saving Tatum (Trace + Olivia #4)

by Micalea Smeltzer

“That’s great.” He started rubbing my shoulders, which were tight with tension from all the stress of the past week. “You should make me a cupcake with gummy bears.”

  I laughed. “Lucinda won’t let me make cupcakes yet, I’m still learning that part, but they don’t have a gummy bear cupcake anyway.”

  He tsked. “That’s not cool. Gummy bears deserve a cupcake.”

  “I’ll let her know.” I relaxed my head against his chest and lifted my eyes to look at him. I reached up and ran a finger along the strong line of his jaw.

  “You do that,” he grinned down at me, “and I expect to be the test subject that gets to try every single one until you get it right. Gummy bears deserve no less than perfection.”

  “Deal,” I smiled. “You know, this is really nice.”

  “I’m glad you think so,” he agreed.

  “Can you believe graduation is in two weeks?” I asked. “It seems so soon and finals aren’t even over yet. I think they’re trying to kill us.”

  Jude laughed. “Yeah, it feels that way. But it’ll be worth it when we stride across that podium and get our diploma. It’s time to start the rest of our lives.”

  “It scares me,” I admitted, picking up some bubbles and blowing them away.

  “What does?”

  “Life,” I whispered.

  He chuckled. “I think everyone is scared of life, at least a little. Although, I think it’s less about life and more about failing. We only have one chance to live our life and if we don’t do it right, it’s gone. That’s a scary thing to think about.”

  “I’m scared I’m like my dad.” The moment the words left my lips I started to cry as the fear consumed me. I was so terrified of being like him, of hurting the ones I loved, and letting my anger get the best of me.

  “Oh, Tate,” Jude wrapped his arms around me from behind and more water sloshed over the sides. We were going to have a mess to clean up. “You’re nothing like that man. You’re stubborn, true, but being stubborn is nothing like being an asshole and that’s what he is. But you’re so much more than that feisty, tough girl. You’re brilliant. And kind. And caring. And loving. And beautiful. And a million other things that make you, you.” He lowered his head and nuzzled my neck before kissing the skin there. “You’re amazing. Don’t ever doubt that. Everyone has faults, but that doesn’t make you a bad person.”

  The tears came harder now and I flipped around so we were facing each other—and there went more water over the side.

  I reached my arms up around his neck and clung to him. He wrapped his arms around me and let me cry, kissing the top of my head before resting his chin there.

  When I’d cried all my tears, I pulled away and wiped at my damp face.

  “Thank you. Thank you for always making me feel better when I’m at my worst.”

  He reached up and cupped my cheek. “I’d do anything for you, Tate.

  Sincerity shown in his eyes and I knew his words were the truth.

  “Back at ya, Brooks.”

  Chapter Twenty Four

  The next day was spent going to class, and studying. Study. Study. Study. If I never saw another textbook again, it wouldn’t be soon enough. I was tempted to chuck the one I was currently reading from at Jacob’s head. I wasn’t sure why Jude had thought studying at his place was such a great idea. As promised, I was staying here again tonight, but I swore I was going back home tomorrow. Jude had pouted at me when I told him I couldn’t stay here forever. His adorable pouty lip had started to crumble my defenses, but I stood strong.

  It was weird though; while our relationship was new I couldn’t help feeling like I’d known him forever. Jude and I shared a soul deep connection that many never found. It was the kind of connection I’d been envious of Rowan and Trent having.

  “Jacob, shut up,” Jude slapped his hands against the kitchen table where we were gathered.

  Grant and his girlfriend were in the living room and I heard the sounds of her giggles.

  Dylan slammed the lid of his laptop closed and thrust his fingers through his hair so it stuck up wildly around his head. “Dude, we’re all fucking exhausted. I think we should take a break and go out for a while. I’m so done with this.”

  “Yeah,” Jacob agreed. “We can only study so much, and I swear after graduation I’m throwing the biggest party we’ve ever had. I need a little fun in my life.”

  Jude sighed and looked at me. “What do you say? Should we take a break?”

  The sensible part of me knew I should keep studying until I fell over, but I honestly couldn’t take another minute of it. “Let’s go.”

  “Yes!” Dylan and Jacob high-fived.

  We didn’t waste any time in leaving. The guys wanted to go to a bar, so that’s where we ended up.

  I was finally introduced to Grant’s girlfriend. Her same was Anna and she seemed nice enough, but maybe a bit of an airhead. Then again, maybe she only looked that way because she was googly-eyed over Grant. I looked over at Jude who sat beside me at the large booth. I really hoped I didn’t act like that around him.

  The guys ordered a bunch of food, everything from nachos to potato skins to barbeque wings. They dug in and I quickly grabbed enough for myself before it disappeared.

  The bar was loud and the crowd was a mix of young and old. Most people looked a little…rough…and I would’ve been uneasy if it wasn’t for Jude and the guys.

  Jude finished eating and wiped his hands on a napkin. Pointing across the room to an area I couldn’t see from where I sat, he asked, “Wanna play a game of pool?”

  I looked up at him and grinned. “Can we play against each other?”

  “One on one?” He clarified and I nodded. “Sure, but do you know how to play?”

  I tamped down my smile. “A little. I’m not that good, but I don’t want you to use this as an opportunity to rub up on me while you pretend to teach me.”

  He chuckled. “I’d never do that to you, Tater Tot.”

  I snorted. “Yeah, right.”

  “Okay, maybe a little rubbing,” he chuckled, lifting his thumb and forefinger up a centimeter apart, “but it’s only because your ass is amazing.”

  I rolled my eyes and slid out of the booth. “I think we should make things interesting.”

  “How so?” He narrowed his eyes, and by this time the guys were listening with interest.

  “A bet,” I grinned. “You seem to like bets, Jude,” I tilted my head to the side, waiting for a reaction. His eyes narrowed.

  “Tell me about this bet.” He stood and crossed his arms over his chest, his hip leaning against the side. “What do you get if you win?”

  “Hmmm,” I tapped a finger against my lip. “If I win the game…well, I’ll figure out what I want later. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to win. I have no clue how to play this game. What do you want if you win?” I asked.

  His lips quirked with interest. “I feel like I’m being played, sweetheart.”

  I shrugged. “I guess you’ll have to play to find out.”

  He shook his head. “You’re up to something.”

  “Come on, Jude, tell me what you want?” I grinned.

  He chuckled, his lips quirking up. “No. If you’re not telling me what you get if you win, then I’m not telling you.”

  “Fair enough,” I agreed and followed him across the room to the pool tables. We had to wait a few minutes for one to free up.

  Jacob, Grant, Dylan, and Anna watched from the sidelines with interest. Well, the guys did. Anna clung to Grant and looked like she’d rather be anywhere else. I couldn’t blame her, the bar certainly wasn’t the nicest place, but I was determined to have a good time.

  Jude got everything set up and for my first few shots I pretended to have no clue what I was doing to put him at ease. Then, when he felt comfortable, I made quick work of sinking the balls into the nets. He had no idea what hit him.

  When I was done I held the pool stick proudly and grinned at his mystified look. �
�And that, Brooks, is how you play pool.”

  The guys busted out laughing and clapped at the display. Other people in the bar came to investigate what had happened.

  Jude’s mouth hung open and he shook his head roughly. “I should be pissed, because you totally played me, but that was so fucking hot that I just want to throw you on this table and fuck you senseless.”

  I startled at his words, I hadn’t been expecting that, but then when I started imagining what he could do to me on that table I got all kinds of excited.

  He bowed down, to which I laughed, and then said, “Well, you won, tell me what you want.”

  “I just wanted to make you sweat,” I strode forward and patted his chest as I gazed up at him, “the real reward was seeing your face when I won.” Lowering my voice so that no one else could hear, I said, “Although, what you suggested sounded appealing.”

  He growled low in his throat and grabbed me around my waist. “That can be arranged.” He nipped at the skin where my neck met shoulder.

  “Uh, guys,” Dylan cleared his throat, snapping us back to reality. With Jude it was all too easy to forget everything else and only think of him.

  I took a step back from him in the hopes that it would clear my head.

  I turned to the guys and said, “Y’all want to play teams?”

  “Sure,” they agreed.

  It ended up with Jude and Jacob against Dylan and me. Grant and Anna decided to head out.

  We played game after game and I couldn’t remember the last time I had smiled or laughed with other people like that. I really liked Dylan and could even see myself becoming friends with him. I still wasn’t that fond of Jacob, but he was growing on me. He was a bit of a loud mouth and that tended to get on my nerves.

  As we headed out of the bar to return home Dylan put his arm around my shoulders and said to Jude, “I like her, don’t fuck this up.”

  “Not a chance,” Jude chuckled. Knocking his friend’s arm off my shoulders, he narrowed his eyes, “Keep your hands off my girl.”

  Dylan chuckled and jogged ahead of us. He turned around to face us, walking backwards, “Jude Brooks getting jealous because I touched his girl…never thought I’d see the day.” Dylan winked at me and I smiled back.

  We’d gone in separate cars so I counted it as a blessing that I didn’t have to listen to Jacob fill every second with the sound of his voice.

  In the truck, I leaned my head on Jude’s shoulder as he drove.

  “Did you have fun?” He asked as headlights lit up the cab of the truck.

  “Yeah. Your friends are cool,” I yawned.

  “Tired?”

  “Exhausted,” I amended, yawning again. Hanging out with the guys and getting a much-needed break had been fun, but now all I wanted to do was sleep.

  He began to hum and in no time I was asleep.

  I was awakened a little while later by Jude grabbing me from the truck and carrying me inside.

  “I can walk. I’m heavy,” I protested, but instead of trying to pull out of his arms I snuggled closer. Why did he have to smell so delicious? And feel so good? Despite his muscular stature he was really quite cuddly.

  Jude chuckled and his lips brushed against my ear. “You’re not heavy, Tate.”

  My body jostled as he carried me upstairs.

  He laid me down on his bed and proceeded to take my shoes, pants, and top off. He went to his dresser and grabbed one of his t-shirts. Returning to me, he unhooked my bra and slid the shirt on. He let out a satisfied growl when he stepped back to appraise me.

  “My girl, in my bed, in my clothes…I think we need to make a habit of this.” His eyes grew dark with lust.

  I lay down, stretching out my legs and drew the sheets over me. Snuggling against the Jude scented pillow I yawned, “Whatever you say.” I was too tired to argue with him, and his shirt was so soft anyway that I doubted he’d ever get it back. He’d have to wrestle me for it…now that had fun written all over it.

  Jude stripped off his clothes and climbed into bed behind me. He pulled my body against his, and I curled around him, entwining our legs together.

  Never in a million years did I imagine I’d be sleeping in Jude Brooks’ bed, but I guessed crazier stuff had happened.

  

  “I’m not letting you go inside by yourself.” Jude protested when we pulled up to my house.

  I unbuckled my seatbelt and let out a sigh at his protective caveman demeanor. “I’ll be fine.”

  “No way,” he shook his head, dark strands of hair falling into his eyes. “I’m going in with you, or you’re not going in at all.”

  So bossy.

  “Fine,” I slid out of the truck.

  I pulled out my house key and headed inside. My mom stood in the living room, looking out the window at nothing…of course.

  Jude followed behind me and stopped when he spotted her. After a momentary pause, he resumed his pace behind me and said nothing about what he saw. I was thankful for that. I’d already told him enough that he knew how she was, but it wasn’t something I wanted to discuss. I’d only get upset…or angry.

  I went into the kitchen first and there he was, sitting at the kitchen table reading the morning paper and sipping coffee. He was the picture of ease and it pissed me off. My fists clenched at my sides.

  Jude grabbed my hand, unfurling it and slipping his inside. Once his fingers were wrapped around mine he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. I took a deep breath and braced my shoulders before squeezing his hand lightly in acknowledgement. I was strong. I could do this. I would not let this man get the best of me.

  I sat down at the table across from my father and Jude took the seat beside me. The table was round and the way we sat Jude was between us. His presence alone acted as a buffer. My dad had already expressed his dislike of Jude, but after their last encounter in my room I thought maybe he knew better than to mess with Jude.

  My dad had yet to look up from the newspaper, but from the visible tightness in his shoulders I knew he was very much aware of our presence.

  When more time past and he refused to acknowledge either of us, I cleared my throat. “Hello, dad.”

  “Tatum.” The venom with which he said my name felt like a slap to the face. This was my dad—the man who’d read me bedtime stories and taught me to ride a bike. He looked like everyone else’s dad. Nice. Normal. Safe. But a monster lurked behind his eyes. I’d pretended not to notice it before. It was so much easier to lie to myself than to face the truth, but I couldn’t avoid it forever. I knew now, that evil didn’t lie in obvious places. It was anyone and anything. It hid behind pretty faces as much as ugly ones. It was everywhere and inescapable. “Have you come to apologize after your…episode…at the coffee shop the other day?” His tone was calm, but in his eyes I could see the anger. He flattened his hands against the table, smoothing out a wrinkle in the paper. A single brow rose on his forehead as he waited for my answer. When I refused to speak, he added, “You owe me a new suit.”

  Beneath the table my hand tightened painfully around Jude’s. I wouldn’t have been surprised if my fingernails drew blood.

  “I owe you nothing.” I spat—and there went my anger getting the best of me once more. I couldn’t control it, and maybe my father couldn’t either.

  He brought a hand to his face, tapping his chin. Slowly, he turned to look at Jude. “I think this…young man,” he said, and I got the impression he’d very much wanted to say something else, “has been a bad influence on you, Tatie. You used to be such a sweet little girl.”

  I flinched at the use of my old family nickname. It didn’t feel right coming from my dad, not anymore—not after all the damage that had been done.

  “I used to be naïve,” I countered. “There’s a difference.”

  He clucked his tongue. “The older you get, the more you act like your brother. He didn’t know when to keep his mouth shut either.”

  “Do not,” I hissed, coming to a stand so fast
that the chair clattered to the floor, “talk about my brother like that.”

  He simply tilted his head, studying me. “I don’t think there’s a law against me talking about my own son.”

  I lost it.

  Slapping my hand sharply against the table, I screamed, “You killed him! It’s your fault! He killed himself because of you! You drove him to madness and now you’re doing it to me too!” I tore at my hair, ripping some strands from my scalp.

  “Tate—” Jude started.

  My dad came to stand as well, glaring at me across the table. “Tatum,” he growled harshly, “your brother was in a car accident. I had nothing to do with that.”

  “Yes, you did!” I screamed and it was so high-pitched sounding that I was surprised the glass in the windows didn’t shatter. “He killed himself because of you.”

  Tears ran in a torrent down my face. I wiped them away, but they just kept coming.

  “You’re crazy, Tatum,” my dad said in a surprisingly calm tone.

  I wasn’t crazy, and I was going to prove it.

  I ran from the kitchen and up to my room to retrieve the letter.

  Jude was behind me, not daring to let me go on my own.

  “Tatum,” he said once we were in my room and I opened the top drawer of my nightstand to grab the letter, “I think you need to grab stuff and let’s get out of here. You can’t stay here.”

  “I don’t have a choice,” I whispered.

  “There’s always a choice,” he countered.

  “What am I supposed to do?” I asked, clutching the letter against my heart. “Live with you? Become your burden? I refuse to do that,” I shook my head harshly. “I’ll figure it out on my own.”

  Jude blocked the door with his body so that I couldn’t leave my room unless I drop kicked him, which I wasn’t opposed to if he didn’t move.

  “Tate, you don’t have to always do things on your own. You have people that care about you. I care about you. Why can’t you believe that?”

  My chest heaved as I struggled to get enough air. I didn’t know when I’d ever been as mad or upset as I was now. “It’s not about believing it. I know you care about me. I care about you too, but that isn’t always enough. I’m not your responsibility.”