He heard my car approach and turned his head.
The ladder swayed as surprise hit him when he recognized my car.
He put the paintbrush on the top rung of the ladder and scrambled down.
He lifted his hands in front of his face to shield his eyes from the sun. As I got out of the car I could see his brows furrowed together.
I stood for a moment, just staring at him so I could soak him in.
His dark hair was damp with sweat and the white sleeveless shirt he wore clung to his chest and exposed his impressive arms. His jeans hung low on his hips, the bottoms rolled up. Paint stained their blue surface.
His face was the same, of course, but maybe a little tired looking. The bags under his eyes were nearly as bad as mine. A few days worth of stubble dotted his cheeks and chin.
“Tatum?” He asked, his voice full of shock like he believed I was some kind of mirage that had appeared in front of him.
“It’s me,” I forced a smile, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.
“What are you doing here?” He asked, lowering his hands from his face.
“D-Dylan told me where to find you,” I admitted, hoping he wouldn’t be pissed at Dylan for giving me his whereabouts.
“Is that so?” He shook his head, putting his hands on his hips. “I kind of had myself convinced I’d never see you again.”
“I can go,” I turned to head back to my car.
“No!” He cried and then I felt his hand on my wrist, spinning me around. He smoothed his fingers through my hair and my eyes fluttered closed, a happy sigh escaping my parted lips. “Don’t go,” he whispered, staring down at me with his warm brown eyes.
I got lost in his stare. “I came to tell you I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” He cracked a smile, tracing his fingers over the curve of my cheek. It was like he had to touch me to convince himself I was real.
I nodded and bit my lip, my body shaking in his arms. “I should’ve believed you, but it was easier not to.”
“Why?” He asked, sounding pained. “God, Tate, watching you run away from me in the pouring rain was the worst kind of torture you could put me through.”
“I know and I’m so sorry,” my breath caught and I fisted his shirt in my hands. I brought my eyes up to his. “I was so scared of my feelings for you that I pushed you away. It’s what I do best, Jude. I hurt you and I hurt myself in the worst way imaginable. These twelve days without you have been the worst days of my life. Even worse than losing my brother.” I swallowed thickly, trying to compose myself. “I felt like loving you was taking away my choices, but you are my choice. You don’t ruin me. You make me better.”
He leaned his forehead against mine, his breath fanning over my cheeks. “Only you could tear me apart and put me back together with a few words.”
I tried to smile. I reached up and placed my hand over his—the one he held against my cheek. “You told me you couldn’t save me, that I had to do it myself, but you were wrong Jude. You did save me. We did it together. You healed me without even trying and I gave you my heart. All of it. It’s yours, if you still want it.”
He chuckled huskily, rubbing his thumb over my bottom lip. “Of course I still want it, silly girl. I want you. Always.”
He lowered his head and I closed the distance between us. I let out a sigh of content as our lips collided. Finally. My hands wound around his neck, locking in his hair to hold him to me. Twelve days had been too long to go without him. I’d been crazy to think I could live without this.
Without him.
Without love.
He bit lightly on my bottom lip and my mouth parted. His tongue touched mine and I let out a moan I couldn’t contain.
One hand cupped the nape of my neck, while his other slid down my back and settled on my waist before skimming up my shirt. The heat of his hand against my bare skin made me shiver.
He pulled back with a chuckle and nipped my bottom lip once more. Staring down at me, he warned, “You better not try to leave me again, pretty girl. I won’t let you get away so easy next time.”
“Don’t worry,” I stood on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear, “there won’t be a next time. You’re stuck with me now, Brooks.”
He growled huskily and claimed my lips once more.
I had no clue how long we stood there kissing and I didn’t care. I would never get my fill of Jude, no matter how many years we might have ahead of us.
He rubbed his nose against mine and stepped back. “Want to go to our spot?”
My smile was huge at his words. Our spot.
“That sounds perfect.”
He started for his truck and I jumped. “Wait!” I ran to my car and pulled out the gummy bear cake. “Here,” I held it out to him. “I made this for you…well, I helped make it for you. It’s the thought that counts, right?” I laughed.
He grinned crookedly as he looked at the cake. “Did you make me an apology cake?”
I shrugged, laughing harder. “Um, yeah. It’s your favorite…gummy bear.”
He chuckled and scratched his jaw as he reached for the cake. “I think you like me, Tate.”
I stared into his warm eyes as I said the words I knew he needed to hear as much as I needed to say them. “I don’t like you, Jude Brooks. I love you.”
His smile fell and I feared he was mad, but then he cried, “Fuck the cake,” and dropped it to the ground. By some minor miracle the glass didn’t shatter, but the cake did get messed up. But then his lips were on mine and my legs were wrapped around his waist and I completely forgot about the cake—about everything.
All that existed was Jude.
My body, my mind, my heart—all of me—had been starved for him.
I owed many thanks to whatever god had listened to my prayers and let Jude forgive me.
I’d expected him to be angry with me—and I’m sure he was—and unforgiving.
Being back in his arms reminded me that my home was wherever he was.
I fought to catch my breath when he set me down.
He cupped my cheeks in his large hands and stared down at me. “You love me, Tate?”
“I love you,” I said again.
He growled low in his throat and took my earlobe in his mouth. Letting the flesh go, he brushed his mouth against the curve of my ear. “I’ll never get tired of hearing you say that for as long as I live. And Tate?”
“Yeah?” I breathed, my tongue slipping out to moisten my suddenly dry lips.
“I love you. I. Love. You. Do you hear me?” He narrowed his eyes, wanting to make sure his words penetrated my stubborn skull. “I love you and only you. It’s only ever been you.” He skimmed his fingers lightly over my cheek and down my neck. “Every part of me was made to love every part of you.” His voice lowered and his eyes darkened. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close. “I’ve been in hell without you.”
“Me too,” I agreed. “I hate that I did this to you. To me. To us.”
“It’s okay, Tate,” he cupped the nape of my neck and tilted my head back slightly. His eyes bored into mine. “It’s over now, and I think we learned a valuable lesson from this.”
“And what would that be?” I asked, trying to keep the laughter from my voice.
“That we’re better together.”
“Sounds about right,” I smiled. “Now, are we going to our spot or not?”
He chuckled. “Let’s go.” He reached down to entwine our hands and his eyes landed on the cake lying on the ground. The glass might not have shattered, but there was a crack in it, and the cake inside lay smashed. “Well,” he shrugged, bending to retrieve it, “it’s still edible.”
Such a guy.
He handed me the cake and I held it on my lap as he drove us to our spot. As he drove his hand rested possessively on my thigh and he continuously looked over at me, as if to make sure I was still in the truck.
Once we were at the meadow he led me over to the pond and onto the dock. We kick
ed off our shoes and sat down, letting our feet dangle into the water.
The sun shone bright in the sky—glowing down upon us and casting a golden glow.
The cake sat untouched between us as we grew quiet.
“Are you mad at me?” I asked eventually, growing fearful that now he was second-guessing forgiving me.
He shook his head. “No. I was. But seeing you again, hearing you tell me that you love me…that took all the anger and pain away. I’m just happy to have you back. You’re not the kind of a girl a guy wants to lose. I don’t mean that in a possessive way, just…” He shrugged, letting his shoulders sag as he kicked at the water. “You’re my girl, Tate. There’s no one else I want. I’d be a fucking idiot not to forgive you.” He ran his fingers through his dark hair and turned his head slightly to look at me. Squinting against the sunlight, he confessed, “With you, it’s different.”
I knew exactly what he meant.
“It is different,” I whispered in agreement. “You know, I always thought relationships seemed like a lot of work, but I feel like with us it’s effortless.”
“Effortless?” He snorted, eyeing me. “It was hardly effortless.”
I laughed. “Not in the beginning, and it certainly wasn’t easy these past two weeks, but before that…things were pretty dang perfect.”
Jude smiled widely. “What we have, it’s true love, baby. You can’t fight destiny.”
I opened my mouth to speak but he reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling me into the water.
I squealed in fright, expecting to get soaked, but surprisingly the water didn’t even reach my knees.
Jude tightened his hold on me and I knew he was going to try to pull me into deeper water. “Jude!” I screamed, trudging through the water to get away from him. His hold slackened and I managed to get a few feet away.
I squealed, jumping up when he splashed me with water. I screamed his name again and splashed him back.
I tore my damp shirt off, throwing it as far as I could so it landed in the grass, before it ended up drenched.
Jude used that to his advantage and maneuvered in front of me.
He walked up real slow, smiling innocently. “Sorry, Tate, I couldn’t resist. I’ll stop. Forgive me?”
I opened my mouth to tell him to kiss my ass when he reached down and splashed more water at my face.
“Juuuude!” I shrieked yet again.
I cupped water in my hands and dropped it on his head in retaliation.
All the while, we both laughed.
Laughter had been missing from both our lives for too many days.
He swiped a long arc of water at me, drenching my legs and shorts. My hands flew up to cover my face. The water wasn’t cold, but it definitely wasn’t warm either.
Once I recovered from his onslaught, I splashed him back, and a full on water war ensued. Both of us ended up drenched, but I was too happy to care.
Jude grabbed me around my waist, spinning me around. Both of us grinned like fools.
I’d missed him more than I thought it was possible to miss another person. I wasn’t lying when I told him he was stuck with me. There was no way I was ever leaving him again. This man was mine, forever.
“I love you,” he murmured in my ear, smoothing my hair out of my eyes.
“I love you too,” I clasped arms around his neck, my legs wrapping around his waist as he held me up. I stared down at him, the sun shining on our faces. My damp hair clung to my chest, the ends dripping water onto his shoulders. Now that I had said the words, I realized they weren’t that scary, and I just wanted to keep saying them over and over again, because they filled me with such joy. I lowered my head, a smile on my face. My lips grazed his ear and I murmured, “I love you, Jude Brooks. I love you with all my heart.”
He kissed me slowly, deeply, savoring every touch of our lips.
He set me down and then crouched for me to climb onto him piggyback style. He lifted me up and tilted his head back to look at me. His eyes were serious as he stared me down. “You’re the only girl for me, never forget that, Tate.”
“Never,” I agreed, burrowing my head against his neck with a smile on my face as he carried me out of the water.
I hated that I hadn’t believed him when he told me about Brooke. I hated that I pushed him away and ran from my own feelings. I hated that I fought my heart so hard.
But all my fighting was futile; because love is one battle you can never overcome. Love always wins.
Jude put me down when we reached the grass. He pulled a beanie out of his back pocket and fixed it on, his damp hair sticking up in the front.
Growing serious, he leaned forward and his nose grazed mine. “Marry me, Tate.”
“What?” I gasped with wide eyes.
“You heard me,” he chuckled, and then like a typical guy his eyes dropped to the swell of my breasts barely contained behind my bra. “Marry me. Maybe not today or tomorrow, or next week or next month, or maybe so,” he shrugged. “It doesn’t matter to me, as long as you promise to marry me one day…” He paused and cracked a grin. “And promise to have lots of my babies.” His hand reached for my stomach, his fingers skimming my skin. “I want it all with you, Tate. Marriage, babies, a house, a life. None of it has any meaning without you. Please, say you’ll marry me?”
I stood, mouth agape, and stared at him like he’d grown three heads. I hadn’t been expecting that to come out of his mouth, especially since I’d shown up today to seek his forgiveness. I was shocked, to say the least, and didn’t know what to say. I knew what I wanted to say, but I was scared. I closed my eyes and swallowed thickly, silently telling myself not to be so scared all the time. Pushing my fears and anxieties aside, I spoke. “One day?”
“One day.” He promised. “When you’re ready,” he amended.
I nodded, and a slow smile lifted my lips. “Yes.”
“Yes?” He stepped back with shock. Grinning, he gasped, “You said yes!”
He picked me up around my waist and spun me around. I had no choice but to hold on tight. When he set me down he kissed me soundly, humming low in his throat. He gripped my face between his large hands and pressed his forehead against mine. “We’re getting married,” he grinned.
“One day,” I repeated.
“One day soon.” He whispered lowly. “I hope,” he added, nibbling on my lips. I sank into his touch. I couldn’t get enough of him. Why had I ever thought I could live without this? I was crazy.
He took my hand and sat down in the grass. I lay down beside him and he turned to look at me. “I have so much to tell you,” he smiled, his eyes roaming greedily up and down my body.
“Like what?” I prompted.
Shrugging, he pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. “Well, for starters, since you broke my heart,” his sad eyes slid to me and then he smiled jokingly, “I had to find ways to distract myself so I couldn’t think about you. I spent a lot of time fixing things at Pap’s house, which I’m sure you saw. But there’s something else I did.” His lips turned down in a frown and my heart stopped beating all together. Shit. He was going to tell me he slept with someone else. I knew it. Oh God. I was going to be sick. “I found Julia.”
Okay, that so was not what I’d been expecting.
“Julia? The Julia? The Julia your grandpa thinks I am during one of his bad days?” I couldn’t get the words past my lips fast enough.
“Yeah,” he nodded, his brown eyes sad.
“Have you talked to her?” I asked.
“Yep,” he tapped his fingers against the top of his knees. “I’ve talked to her. She…uh…she thought my dad put me up to calling. I told her I hadn’t talked to that fucking asshole since I moved out. I explained to her about Pap calling you Julia, and that we were curious.” He shrugged, letting out a sigh.
“And?” I prompted. “Was she nice? What did she have to say? How was she involved with your dad?” I kept firing questions at him, curiosity ea
ting me up.
“She said that her and my dad were high school sweethearts. They planned to get married after college and live happily ever after,” he mumbled.
“Come on, Jude,” I sat up, tucking my damp hair behind my ear. “I know there’s more to the story than that.”
He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “She caught him cheating on her with my mom. My mommy’s the best, ain’t she?” He smiled but the happiness from minutes ago was gone. “Julia, uh,” he cleared his throat and his jaw clenched, “she was pregnant at the time.”
“What?!” I gasped, almost falling over with shock.
Jude nodded. “Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction. I have a brother. He’s three years older than me.”
“Wow,” I breathed. “You have a brother?”
He nodded. “Crazy, right?”
I couldn’t believe what he was telling me. He’d not only found Julia, but a brother. Family he never knew he had. I knew since Jude didn’t have a relationship with his mom and dad, that he worried about what would happen once his grandpa was gone. But now he wouldn’t be alone. He had a brother.
“Do you know his name?” I asked.
“Archer,” he answered. “Apparently it’s a family name on her side,” he shrugged, squinting against the descending sun.
“Have you talked to him? Are you going to meet him? Them?”
He swallowed thickly and nodded. “Yeah,” he reached for my hand, “they’re supposed to come up to the farm next week for lunch. Archer wants to meet Pap. Julia is coming too. It’ll be nice to meet them, but I’m nervous. I hope you’ll be there with me.”
“Of course I’ll be there,” I gasped. “I want to meet them too.”
“Thanks,” he smiled. He reached over and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me against him. His lips brushed against the top of my head. “God,” his voice lowered, “I fucking hated not having you by my side.”
“I felt the same,” I agreed. “You’ll never know how sorry I am for pushing you away and not believing you.”
“Well,” he grinned playfully, “you have our whole lives to make it up to me. I accept payment in—”
Saving Tatum (Trace + Olivia #4) Page 32
