39 Weeks

by Terri Douglas

  He looked around the kitchen taking a pen out of his pocket, and not seeing anything suitable to write on, wrote James and his number underneath on my fireman calendar on the back of the kitchen door. Actually he wrote it across Septembers fireman’s bare backside, while smirking to himself. I just wished the ground would open up and swallow me . . but it didn’t.

  ‘So you about ready?’ He said turning back to me.

  ‘Yes. Thanks for this.’

  ‘Come on then. I bought a couple of litres of petrol in a can, that should be enough to get you to a petrol station at least.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  We went straight to where I’d had to abandon my car the previous evening, and James pulled in behind it. He jumped out and retrieved the petrol can from his boot, then started pouring the contents into my petrol tank, while I climbed out of his car and walked over to watch.

  Another car pulled up behind us and someone got out. It was someone I thought I’d never see again. Rob.

  ‘Hello Judy.’ He said quietly, melting my insides just at the sound of his voice.

  ‘Rob.’ I said sounding more controlled than I felt.

  ‘I thought it was you, I was hoping I’d run into you, I’ve been back to Zee Zee’s a couple of times hoping you’d be there but . . .’ He crooned and then faltered as he took in my inflated stomach and the fact that James was with me and was watching his every move proprietarily.

  ‘I haven’t been back . . I’ve been . . um.’ I dried up as I registered his look of comprehension at what he thought was the situation. Well I was pregnant that was true enough, but I wasn’t with James.

  But before I had a chance to explain to him Rob said ‘well it was nice seeing you again’ and he turned abruptly, walked back to his car and drove off.

  ‘Someone you know?’ James said sardonically.

  ‘Yes.’ I said deflated. ‘Well someone I almost knew . . once.’

  ‘You alright?’

  ‘Yes.’ I sighed despondently. ‘I’m alright.’

  Oh well I always knew I couldn’t have him, it’s not like it was a big revelation or something, but I’d clung on stupidly to the thought that he might think I was his Cinderella disappearing into the night, the one that got away, and somehow that had kept me going and made it bearable. But now he’d just think I was a tart out on the pull, already in a relationship and pregnant, and had just been looking for a bit of a fling on the side, and lying my arse off to achieve it. Great. Bloody wonderful. I was so downcast I could have cried.

  ‘Is he . . he’s not the father is he?’ James said.

  ‘No. He’s not the father he’s just someone I met once.’

  ‘And you liked him?’

  ‘Yeah I . . . um don’t you have somewhere you should be?’

  ‘Sorry I’m being too nosey, I know it’s none of my business. But you look like you need . .’

  ‘What? Need another bloke to take my mind off the first one? Need you to swoop in and save me from a broken heart? Need rescuing again?’

  ‘No nothing like that, I was going to say need a friend. You got me all wrong.’

  ‘Have I?’ The cynical man-hater in me responded.

  ‘Yes, . . . well no not entirely.’

  ‘Mmm exactly.’

  ‘Okay how about this, we can be friends, nothing else I promise, while you see if you like me . . And if you think I could be more than a friend . . that’d be fantastic, and if you don’t . . well we’ll still be friends. How does that sound?’

  ‘Friends. And what do you get out of it? And why are you trying so hard anyway, I’m pregnant if you hadn’t noticed?’

  ‘I know you’re pregnant. Does that mean you can’t have friends or that I can’t fancy you.’

  ‘What!’

  ‘Sorry I can’t help it. I won’t mention it again so help me . . unless you want me to? . . So how about it friends for the time being?’

  ‘I don’t know, I can’t see this working. I don’t think . . .’

  ‘Come on, give it a try. What have you got to lose?’

  So now I was James’s friend and he was going to help me move to the new flat in two weeks, and in the mean time we’d see each other for a friendly chat, or meal, or something.

  15

  24th September – Week 16 + 6 Days

  It was moving day. I was as packed as I was ever going to be including the last cup after I’d finished my early morning tea when I got up, and now I was waiting with my Dad, who’d offered to help out, for James to get back with a van he’d organised through a friend.

  ‘So James?’ Dad said.

  ‘He’s a friend, don’t go getting ideas.’

  ‘Is he the . . .?’

  ‘No he’s not. He’s just a friend.’

  ‘He seems nice.’

  ‘Dad he’s a friend, that’s all. I don’t know how else to say it. He’s not a boyfriend he’s just a friend friend.’ I said firmly through gritted teeth.

  ‘Okay, you don’t have to get nasty. Does he know that you’re just friends, only he seems to like you rather a lot judging by the way he . .’

  ‘He knows. Now can we leave it . . please?’

  I walked over to the window to see if I could see James coming yet with the van, and to stop Dad wittering on about what a nice bloke he thought James was. I knew I was being a bit oversensitive but he like Mum seemed to be determined to pair me off with someone, no news there, they’d both been doing that since my twenty first, and it had all gone into overdrive since they found out I was pregnant.

  Mum still thought I was waiting for the fake father Rob to get back. I hadn’t as yet got myself out of the lie I’d told her, and had avoided the subject as much as possible on her duty visit last weekend when she helped me pack up some of my stuff. I was going to have to come up with something soon though, otherwise I could see myself taking the bump to its first day at school and Mum still asking me when Rob was going to get back.

  I’d been more careful what I’d told Dad, more truthful, but then Dad was a lot more okay about stuff like that, and seeing as Mum and Dad didn’t talk to each other anymore I didn’t need to lie to him as well. I hadn’t told him of course that the father was James’s twonk of a twin brother. I think even Dad would have freaked out at that, I know I still was. I was sort of getting over the fact that they looked so alike, especially now that Matt and the rest of the builders had finished and I didn’t have to see him anymore, and personality-wise they were as different as chalk and cheese as the saying goes, but still every time I thought about it I was weirded out all over again, after all when you thought about it, it was a bit . . well . . odd. I mean look at the facts the father didn’t even know I was expecting and couldn’t even remember me properly, and here I was dating, sorry amend that to being friends with, the baby’s uncle. Yeah I really didn’t want to think about that too much. James did seem like a nice guy, and I liked him, he made me laugh, but . . . and there it was, if there was a but in the equation it was a no go from the start wasn’t it? Nice guy or not.

  James pulled up outside with a huge van, climbed out smiling as always, and waved to me watching at the window. Two seconds later he was through the front door and bonding with my Dad like they’d been bosom buddies for years. I knew James was trying to score brownie points by being mates with my Dad, and Dad was trying to get on well with what he thought was a potential son-in-law. You gotta laugh, well I did anyway, as I watched them going through this ritual.

  An hour or so later and the van was packed with my meagre amount of furniture and several large boxes. This was it then. Goodbye mini shoebox flat, and hello much larger, slightly more expensive, new flat. James and my Dad drove off in the van, and I followed in my car.

  We pulled up in Kingsley Road and parked outside number five. I already had the keys and Gill had moved out last weekend so there were no delays in getting in. I was despatched to the kitchen with the last box I’d packed that contained all the last minute items, such
as the kettle, tea bags, milk and cups, and was put on tea making duties, while James and my Dad made a start on shifting everything else out of the van.

  It wasn’t easy. At the old flat which had been on the ground floor, getting stuff out the front door and onto the van hadn’t been too difficult, not that I’d actually carried anything myself but judging by the lack of heavy breathing and red faces it didn’t seem too bad. But at this end everything had to be carted up a flight of stairs and round a tight corner at the top so there was an abundance of heavy breathing, red faces, and swearing, albeit somewhat muted swearing in deference to my new and unknown neighbours on the ground floor.

  Everything stopped for twenty minutes while we had a cuppa, there was nowhere to sit as yet, because my sofa and the two dining chairs from the kitchen had been some of the first things to go on the van, and therefore would be last to come off again at this end. So we stood drinking our tea leaning on the kitchen cupboards.

  I was so excited about being here, and was already mentally planning redecorating everywhere. Gills taste was a bit too flowery for me, and too peach. I don’t remember there being so much peach everywhere, and unless she’d got a job lot of peach paint from somewhere on the cheap, it was obvious she really liked the colour. But it was already driving me mad, not to mention clashing badly with my stuff, and when the sofa was eventually bought up it could only get worse as that was a dark pink colour.

  My Dad was giving James a none too subtle third degree, presumably to make sure he was a suitable candidate for my Prince Charming. James told him he worked for the same building and decorating company that his twonk brother worked for. Course he didn’t say ‘twonk brother’, that was just me. And how he lived over on the other side of town, and had his own house. Only a two bed terrace on Limer Street but still it was all his, or would be when he’d paid off the mortgage. My Dad was practically ticking off a check list, nodding and smiling at every answer James came up with. Evidently he passed all the tests with flying colours, as next thing Dad was saying when James called him Mr Parker was ‘please call me Alan’. Oh God save me, if only I’d been an orphan.

  Tea break over, they went back to bringing the rest of my furniture up. The wardrobe was a complete nightmare to manoeuvre round the tight bend at the top of the stairs, and eventually they decided the only way it would be possible was to take it apart and reassemble it again in situ in the bedroom.

  Finally I was in. There were boxes everywhere and the furniture, what little there was, had just been pretty much dumped, but it was all in the right rooms at least, and no doubt I’d be spending the next day or two, if not week or two, trying everything out in every possible configuration it was possible to configure, before deciding on the perfect arrangement, but I was here, and all my stuff was here, that was the important thing.

  After another cuppa, this time sitting down, Dad decided he really ought to get going, I think he was going on a date judging by how cagey he was being about giving any specific answers or details. And James said that as he should be getting the van back he’d give my Dad a lift back to his car that was still parked outside my old flat. How nice, all mates together, all bonhomie. Please God, please let me be an orphan.

  As soon as they were out the door and I was on my own, relishing my new space, Mum phoned to make sure everything had gone alright she said. I put my foot in it straight away by mentioning James’s name. She already knew Dad was helping me, and I think that was the real purpose of the call, to check up on Dad, but she didn’t know about James I’d just said a friend was helping. Naturally being my mother she jumped on it straight away and wanted to know who he was, and how I knew him, and did Rob know about him, and on and on it went. I promise God, I’ll never do another bad thing as long as I live, just make me an orphan.

  When she’d finally run out of steam half an hour later and said goodbye, I breathed a sigh of relief and got on with the unpacking. I started with my clothes. Most of my stuff, of which there was rather a lot, I hadn’t realised quite how much until I started packing it all, didn’t really fit me anymore, so I only unpacked the fat stuff that I could actually wear. It was a pitifully small collection, but I knew it was pointless buying any more as it was only a matter of time before what little I had would also be too small and I’d need the next size up again. One of the bonus’s about being in a top floor flat was that you invariably got the use of any loft space, so I left my un-wearable clothes packed up with plans of storing the two boxes they filled up there.

  I made the bed up next. I’d learned the hard way when I’d first moved into my old shoe-box flat, that on moving day sooner or later you’d be so tired you’d flake out, and the last thing you’d feel like doing would be to have to make up a bed before you could go to sleep. So this time I made sure it was one of the first things I did. When I’d finished I was tempted to lie down there and then but stoically resisted and forced myself out to the kitchen instead.

  James came back, I wasn’t expecting him to, I’d already said thank you a million times when he left to take the van back, and I’d assumed that was that. But now he was back again, with pizza, and I was starving so I let him in.

  ‘I thought you’d gone for the day, done your duty and gone.’ I said trying to find plates buried somewhere in the depths of one of the boxes.

  ‘Thought you’d be hungry.’

  ‘I am but . .’

  ‘Okay then. Don’t worry about plates we’ll just eat straight from the box. Might need a knife though.’

  I switched tack from looking for plates and started searching for cutlery, thankfully that was easier to find.

  ‘My Dad get off alright?’

  ‘Yeah. I like him he’s a nice bloke.’

  ‘Yes. You know he thinks . .’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Well did you tell him that we weren’t . .’

  ‘Yes of course.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘No not really, he thought you and I were . . and I . .’

  ‘Great.’

  ‘Well we could be.’

  ‘No we couldn’t.’

  ‘You’re still sticking with that are you?’

  ‘Yes. We’re friends. It was your plan remember.’

  ‘Okay, friends . . for now.’ he said handing me a slice of pizza.

  I opened my mouth to object but he cut me short and before I had a chance to utter even a small objection, or even so much as an ‘um’ he said ‘you found your calendar yet? It won’t look like home until you’ve got a naked man or two hanging about the place will it?’ then a wicked grin spread over his face as he laughed at his own joke.

  16

  25th September – Week 17

  My first day in my new flat. When I woke up this morning it felt like Christmas, you know that excitement you feel when you’re a kid, early in the morning before anyone else is awake, and the whole magic day you’ve been waiting for all year, is finally here. Well I felt like that.

  James had helped me unpack my boxes before he went home at about nine, but I knew I’d spend most of today moving everything to different cupboards, that and pushing my sofa around the living room to the most advantageous and design orientated position. My furniture looked a bit lost in this new bigger space, but that was all part of the excitement for me, actually having some space. And anyway if I was going to decorate in the near future the less furniture in the way the better.

  I made myself a large mug of tea and carried it to the living room window, where I sipped complacently and familiarised myself with my new view which was the houses on the opposite side of the road, there was no real ‘view’ to speak of not like hills or countryside or something, but it was still a new view to me. I thought of Gill, by now firmly installed in her Gloucestershire house, and gave thanks that she’d moved, I wasn’t envious at all, just relieved that she had moved and apart from making her old flat vacant for me to have, would no longer be at work every day. I didn’t hate her exactly, but I can’t deny
it was a relief to know I wouldn’t have to listen to her endless condescending monologues anymore. Okay maybe I did hate her a little bit.

  After arranging my myriad of bottles, lotions and potions in the bathroom, my collection seemed to have grown considerably since finding out I was pregnant, I showered and washed my hair. There was no time yesterday for such niceties and by the time there was I was too tired, so I lingered somewhat longer than usual, luxuriating in the separate shower instead of standing at one end of the bath as I’d had to do in the old flat. It was heaven, absolute heaven.

  Then when I was dressed I decided to walk down to the local corner shop and check that out, and get a couple of dinners in and maybe a treat or two. I’d let the fridge run down a bit, not that it was ever exactly stocked to the gills, pre the move so I was even shorter on supplies than usual.

  On my way out what turned out to be my new neighbour from downstairs was just on her way in, looking like she’d been on a similar mission as she was carrying two heavy carrier bags. Following her closely with a carrier bag each, somewhat lighter in weight, were two small children.

  ‘Hi.’ She said warmly. ‘You must be our new neighbour. Have you settled in? . . No of course you haven’t, stupid question, well if there’s anything I can do just let me know, or if you fancy a chat over a coffee anytime? In fact why not come in for one now . . if you’re not too busy sorting out and unpacking. My names Marsha.’

  ‘I’m Judy, and thanks that’d be great.’

  I liked her. Right from that first moment I just knew I was going to like her. She unlocked her front door and ushered the two children in, then stood aside to let me in after them. We negotiated our way through the organised chaos that was her living room, there were piles of books and magazines on every available surface including the floor, a clothes airer overloaded with small clothes leaning precariously was propped up by the radiator under the window, there were more pictures and ornaments than I’d ever seen all together in one room, and enough toys strewn everywhere to qualify as the local playgroup. The kitchen when we got there was slightly more organised, but only slightly. I loved it all and felt at home straight away.