Worthy of You: Book One in The Haze Nightclub Series

by Kandee Reyna

  “She’s a jealous bitch and can’t take the fact that I stepped outside my box for someone and it wasn’t her.” I put one finger under her chin and turn her face back to me. “I’ll remind you for the rest of my life if I have to, but you’re it for me, baby. I don’t want anyone else, ever again. No one will ever compare to what we have here.” I run my hand through her hair and down her neck, stopping at her back, and pulling her close to me again. “I’m not good with words Renee, I won’t ever have sonnets and poems written out for you. I won’t spell shit out in the stars, and Hallmark will probably say nicer shit than I ever will— but know that what I feel for you goes beyond anything I’ve ever felt before.”

  Her eyes close for a moment, and when they open again she’s calmed down some. “Sorry. My nerves are just shot right now.”

  “I know, Angel.”

  I hug her tight for a few moments before she speaks. “So, he busted up your strip clubs… Are your businesses all above board?”

  “Yes, and no. I’m willing to protect my companies and assets by any means necessary, and usually that doesn’t involve the police. When I was coming up, I’d do some things I’m not proud of to get where I am today, using my name and friends to get in where I could. I dealt in arms to fund my start up, but now, I stay off the radar and just run my businesses. He’s trying to convince me to do what he wants, which is go into business with him or sell. He’s interested in opening a prostitution ring. Conning women into selling their bodies, bringing tricked women from Russia and lesser developed countries, and even getting junkies to turn tricks for him for their next hit.

  “Todos Santos runs shit around here, but they don’t do skin trade. If a woman wants to be a free agent and prostitute herself out, Rey doesn’t put a stop to it, but as soon as someone comes in trying to run shit, it’s game over for them. It’s common knowledge, but Dmitry doesn’t seem to be getting the memo. He’s started a war, and now he’s moving in on me since I own the majority of the real-estate where he’s interested in setting up shop, and I’m not directly tied to TS. Unfortunately for him, I’m good friends with Rey. We grew up together and I think he’s honestly envious of me for getting out before I was sucked into the gang life. He sent his brother Manny to me after high school to work at the club and he helps out at the strip clubs sometimes when we’re shorthanded, trying to keep him out of the street life.”

  “So Viv’s Manny is tied to TS? I’ve heard of them, you know. People say they’re ruthless, heartless gangsters.” Her eyes widen.

  “Yes and no. Everyone knows Ray would skin them alive if they pulled Manny in anywhere Rey didn’t want him, so people in the ‘hood steer clear of him, mostly. He has an apartment in Hamilton that he stays at full time to help keep him out of the life.”

  She nods her head. “So, what are we going to do about Dmitry?”

  I smirk and shake my head, “We aren’t going to do anything. I’ve got it handled. You,” I say, pressing my finger to her chest lightly, “Don’t need to do anything but follow directions and stay out of trouble.” I can see the struggle in her eyes as she tries not to protest.

  She leans back with her arms crossed, “I guess.” She huffs.

  Chapter Twenty-seven: Renee

  I want so badly to tell him to fuck off, that I’m not going to shrink away, waiting for them to possibly show up. Clearly, I’m not the best at making the decisions, since I was just accosted at the grocery store, though.

  “Are we still going to the movies?”

  “Not really something I’m interested in doing anymore.” He shakes his head at me, his eyes darkening. I know that look.

  “Well, I’m feeling a little slighted. I was promised a movie.”

  “I can give you something better than a movie, Angel.” He says, running his fingertips down my cheek. I shiver, a chill running through my body from his touch. His eyes cloud over for a second, and then he snaps his hand back. He thinks I’m afraid. “It was a good shiver, Lo.” I say, my voice hoarse and heady.

  He’s already on the fast track to distraction. “How about dinner? We’ll go to dinner, but I’m not comfortable sitting in a dark room full of people for two hours. I have a feeling Max and his guys wouldn’t be happy about that shit either,” He laughs.

  “Okay. Where are we going?” He exhales and rakes his fingers through his hair; he still wasn’t convinced it was a good idea to go out. “Lo,” I start, but he speaks before I finish.

  “I’ll get us a reservation to a place here in the city, but we’re coming home right after dinner.”

  “Yes, Dad.” I roll my eyes.

  “Watch that mouth baby, or I might have to stretch it around my cock to remind you who’s in charge.” He thumbs my bottom lip, and I snake my tongue out, catching the pad of his thumb and he grunts, pushing it into my mouth, and I suck it gently, rolling my tongue around it. He pops it free from my mouth, and lowers his to my lips, kissing me gently, nipping at my upper lip and then pulling my lower lip into his mouth, sucking it lightly, each pull sending shocks of desire through my chest down to my sex.

  Someone clears their throat behind us, and I jump back quickly. The fire in Lo’s eyes goes from sensual to lethal. “What?” He snaps.

  “Got Rey on the phone, the guys are upstairs. We’re just waiting on you.” It’s Max.

  He exhales heavily. “I’ve gotta go deal with this baby. I’ll be back.” He drops a kiss on my lips, lingering for a few moments before pulling away and heading towards the stairs. “Make yourself at home, Beautiful.” He winks as he climbs the stairs. Jesus, he’s fucking gorgeous and his cocky ass knows it.

  I reach for my mug of tea, that’s now cold, and head to the kitchen, dumping it in the sink and rinsing it out before placing it in the dishwasher. Movement out of the corner of my eye catches my attention and I turn to seen Loretta making her way back down the stairs.

  “Well, I have a feeling those men are gonna be busy for some time to come. Wanna help me make a cobbler? I’ve got some fresh peaches my sister sent me. They’re from Fredericksburg.” She gives me a knowing smile.

  “Oh, yum!” I turn and lean my back against the counter. “I’m not much of a baker, but I’m happy to help.” I return her smile.

  “Oh, I’m sure we could make a baker out of you, yet!” She busies herself around the kitchen gathering up ingredients and pulling bowls and measuring cups from various cabinets. “Oh, shoot. I left the peaches in my car. I’ll just run out and get them quickly.”

  “No, I’ll go. I have no idea where anything is in this kitchen. I’ll be right back.”

  “It’s the red Camry, my keys are the ones hanging by the door. I had to park in the street today since we’re a little crowded around here right now.” She calls out as I grab her keys and slip out the front door.

  The summer heat is becoming oppressive. The dry heat of Texas is hot, but the humidity here will make you feel ready for a shower two minutes after stepping out the door. I scan my eyes up and down the street, looking at the cookie-cutter houses. They’re all meticulously maintained with green lawns and stone paths through the landscaped flower beds. The driveway is filled with black, inconspicuous cars and SUV’s. I had no idea there was this many people in the house, or how I missed them all trampling up the steps. The town car that usually has a few of Max’s men in it is empty and it unsettles me. My eyes dart up and down the street again and I walk quickly to Loretta’s car, not missing the way my hand trembles as I press the button on the key fob, and grab the peaches. I right myself quickly, scanning the street again, the pit in my stomach growing. I make a quick dash back to the house, sagging against the closed door, feeling exhausted. It’s like I could feel the slimy eyes of Andrei raking over my body and his hot, meaty fingers pressing into my skin all over again. My breath starts to come in shorts spurts and tears sting my eyes. No. I can’t let myself do this. I can’t let them get to me like that. I suck in a breath through my nose and blow it out my mouth, cleansing my nerv
es. I haven’t had a panic attack since I was a small child, and today is not going to be the day.

  “You okay?” Loretta’s eyebrows are drawn, worry filling her face.

  “Yeah,” I fake a smile, “Just hot out there.” I set the peaches down. “These look amazing! I’ve missed them.” I change the subject, pretending not to hear the fear in my own voice, and she reluctantly follows.

  “Me, too. When my sister offered to send me some, I just couldn’t resist! I was so tickled when they arrived I ate three!” She chuckles, and I laugh in response but I don’t feel it, it’s like the sound comes from someone else and it startles me. Is this who I’ll become with Lo? A shell of a woman; afraid to get things from the car? Staving off panic attacks from walking twenty feet from the door while Lo pow-wows with his gangster friends?

  I work silently alongside Loretta as she walks me through the steps of prepping the cobbler, but my hands and body move without my mind connecting to the motions. I’m watching myself work from outside my body while lost in a sea of angst and confusion. This isn’t why I came to New York. I came to be an artist. To paint, go to art shows, sell my work, but I’ve done none of those things. I haven’t even thought about picking up a paint brush since meeting Lo. I’ve been lost in him, lost in his world, and today I got a real taste of what it’s like. Of what it’s like being tied to the money and the power. A sick feeling rolls through my gut as I realize I don’t want it. I don’t want any part of this shit. I pause, setting the peach and the peeler on the counter, bracing myself with both hands.

  “Are you alright, Dear?” Loretta’s voice breaks through my fog.

  “Yes, yes. I’m fine. I just… I need to use the restroom.” I make my way to Lo’s room without looking back at her. I step in and quietly shut the door. His bed is still tousled from us this morning, and his clothes are in a heap by the bathroom door. I go in and avoid myself in the mirror. I can imagine what I look like right now, I don’t need it to be reflected in the expansive, splotch-less glass. I turn into the closet, not really sure what I’m looking for, and I find one side filled with expensive, pressed suits and dark jeans, starched to perfection alongside his equally perfect shirts. A mask to the dirty work going on right under everyone’s noses. A stark white sheet, covering a filthy mattress. It’s all too much. I heave and run to the toilet, vomiting up the tea I drank.

  I sit back, leaning my back on the wall. “I can’t do this.” I whisper to no one. But, Milo. I close my blurry eyes and swallow hard, my throat scratching against its self, chafed from the heaving the acidic vomit that vacated my stomach. A week was more than enough with him to know I’d willingly throw myself from a bus to have a chance at spending my life with him, but I can’t do this. I’m not made for this lifestyle. One brush up with the dark side, and I can’t even get fucking peaches from the car without being afraid. He deserves someone who wouldn’t even bat a lash to this life. He deserves more than me. He wants me to take time off work and school to ‘stay safe’ but what the fuck am I even in New York for without it? My brain is swirling with confusion. I need to think about things, about us. I need to distance myself from him. The thought rings in my head like clanging bells in my ear after a night out and a bottle of vodka. I pull my phone from my back pocket and wipe away the tears that have wet my cheeks and neck. I need to get out of here before he’s done with his meeting. Put distance between us to give him a chance to realize life would be better without me clinging to him, afraid of the shadows that move through the city.

  I tap my screen, sending for a car and get a notification there’s someone less than ten minutes from me and I confirm the pick-up address. I pull myself to my feet and move to the sink, splashing cold water on my face. I can do this. I take in my blotchy tear-stained appearance in the mirror and I gather my hair on top of my head, securing it with the tie around my wrist. I walk back down the hall and Loretta is in the same place behind the island, watching me carefully.

  “Renee, Dear… are you alright?” She sets the knife she’s holding down on the counter and comes towards me, wiping her hands on the apron around her waist. I didn’t think this through very well. I didn’t think it through at all.

  “Yes, ma’am. I’m fine.” My voice carrying that extra twang it seems to pick up when I’m upset. “I’m just not feeling well is all. I’ve called a car to take me home, so I can get some rest.” I smile weakly.

  “Oh, dear. How about you go lie down in Milo’s bed and I’ll bring you some more tea?” Milo. God, I need to get out of here before he comes back down.

  “No, that’s okay, really. Sometimes a girl just needs to go home, ya know?”

  She nods her head, “Yes, baby. Sometimes home makes a world of difference,” her eyes reflecting she knows I’m not coming back. She knows I’m leaving. My phone vibrates in my pocket. The car’s here. I pull her in close, “Thank you, Loretta.” I breathe in deep, catching hints of lavender and laundry soap. “I’ll take a rain check on that cobbler,” I say, heading to the door. She follows, shutting the door softly behind me. The click of the door like a gun shot in my chest.

  Butterflies dance in my stomach and threaten to burst out my throat. Each step is painfully slow, and my breathing is thick in my ears, heavy and loud. I scan the street once more before hopping in the back seat of the green sedan parked at the curb. The woman behind the wheel says something, but I don’t hear it. I just nod, hoping it’s what she’s looking for. My face feels cold, and I realize it’s my tears, cooled by the blowing a/c. I wipe them away frantically, and take one more look at the house. Max is standing at the upstairs window speaking angerly into his phone and my breath catches in my throat when I see the front door open just as the house is out of my line of vision. I peer into the side mirror and see Lo running down the sidewalk after the car and I break. The small cord that was wrapped tightly, holding me together, snaps and I break into a million shattered pieces in the back of a stranger’s car.

  I don’t even remember getting out of the car, but I’m standing at the front door and it wrenches open and Krysta pulls me inside; holding me against her chest while I cry away the feelings that crash through my body too strongly, too fast.

  Chapter Twenty-eight: Lo

  “Know anyone with a green sedan?” Max asks, and I look up from the scans I’m running on mine and Renee’s phone, trying to figure out how Andrei knew she’d be at the store.

  “No, probably just someone from the neighborhood.” I say absentmindedly before looking back at the computer. This shit is so fucked up. I could see the flight in her eyes when I was talking to her downstairs. Her words were full of fire, but I could see the fear fueling them. I don’t know any different than this shit, growing up in the streets has left me hardened to the dramatic flair and adrenaline rushes that come with shake downs, and fright-calls, but not Renee. Her small-town life didn’t prepare her for my world, and I sure as fuck didn’t warn her against it while I selfishly kept her close.

  “Lo…” Max says my name again, like he’s speaking to a lion ready to pounce. His phone rings cutting him off. “Loretta?” Loretta? She’s down-fucking-stairs. “Why the fuck didn’t you stop her?”

  “Stop who?” Ice scrapes through my veins and I stand up, ripping down the stairs and tear the door open, letting it slam against the wall and I catch a glimpse of dark curls and a pale face watching out the back window of a car. A car driving away with a piece of me. A whole fucking chunk of me and it hurts. The ache of watching her leave is fucking painful in a way I’ve never felt before. My soul is seeping out of me, pulling away at my sanity, following her.

  “RENEE!” I scream, and take off running down the sidewalk, before realizing what a fucking idiot I am for chasing after a car that’s speeding away and I turn back to the house to get keys. The more distance the car gains the more desperate my actions become, and I turn my lead filled feet back to the house; frantic to follow what’s mine.

  “Bro, maybe you should just—” Max starts
to talk before I make it through the door, but I charge him, slamming my shoulder into his chest, pinning him against the wall.

  “Just fucking what, Max?” My teeth grit against each other as I force the words through them.

  He pushes me off, hands fisted at his sides; knowing his control is the only still remaining, “I was just saying, maybe you should give her a little bit to let shit sink in. She’s scared Lo, and she’s running. Let her go for a little while, cool off.”

  “Fuck you.” I spit and slip back out the door, climbing in the car and backing out of the driveway. The hole in my chest aches and my mind is consumed with nothing but getting her back.

  Chapter Twenty-nine: Renee

  “Renee!” Raspy, hoarse, strained. His voice doesn’t even sound like his own. I let my head thump against the wall as I muffle my cries. “Baby,” He whispers through the crack, and if I close my eyes it’s like he’s right next to me, his lips in my ear, his breath tickling my skin. “Please, just talk to me. I can fix this, Renee. I can fix it.” Desperation grips his words. We’ve been here for hours now. Me, on the inside of the door. Him on the other side in the cold, empty, hall.

  “Go home, Lo. Get some sleep.” I whisper through the door.

  “I can’t. Please, just let me fucking hold you, Angel.”

  It’s a little after three in the morning. Krysta’s asleep on the floor next to me. She tried for hours to convince him to leave, and they’d go back and forth, over and over before I finally just told her to let it go. She doesn’t think it’s a good idea for me to sit here and listen to him on the other side of the door and I’d have to agree. It’s fucking beating me, wearing me down. My bones are aching, my muscles sore, and my head is pounding. I’ve retched so many times from sobbing I got the hiccups. Hiccups that tore through my body so harshly, my body began to retch again. I lay down next to Krysta, curling my body into hers, seeking her warmth. My body is exhausted, and my eyes flutter shut, tears seeping through my lashes. I fall asleep to the sound of Lo whispering my name.