Burned (Cunningham Security Book 5)

by A. K. Evans

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Pierce muttered.

  I shook my head.

  “I’m sorry, beautiful.”

  I stayed quiet for a moment, just staring up at Pierce hoping he would be different than Brad. Hoping he wouldn’t ever do anything like that to me. He felt different, but I’d certainly proven that I didn’t exactly know how to pick them.

  “So, between everything with my family, the situation with Nicola, and my ex-fiancé I’m inclined to believe the problem is with me.”

  Confusion washed over Pierce’s face. “Are you serious?”

  Nodding, I shared, “I’m sorry that I’m a bit of a basket case. It’s just…it’s hard not to fear the fire that can come in and torch my heart again.”

  Pierce rolled us so I was on my back and half of his body was covering half of mine. “I’ve got so much work to do, and I find it sad that it even needs to be done,” he stated, his eyes searching my face. “At least I now know what I’m dealing with and I can see to it that it gets fixed.”

  “What?”

  “I finally understand why you’re so insecure and why you’re fearful of what’s happening between us.”

  At least he understood that.

  “Zara, I won’t do that to you. I am not Brad. He did not deserve you. And the issue with your family has obviously shook your faith in others. Trust is everything, beautiful. You put yours in your ex and your family and they didn’t honor it.”

  Now I knew I was going to cry.

  But before I could break down, Pierce went on, “You’ve been in a relationship with someone who has cut you down, made you feel bad about yourself, cheated on you, and made you question your beauty and worthiness. I look at you sometimes and can’t get over just how pretty you are. I don’t tell you that, though, because if I did it every time I thought it, that’s all I’d ever say to you. But that’s what I’m going to do from now on, Zara. By the time I’m done, those fires he set inside you that are still smoldering will be extinguished.”

  “Pierce,” I whispered.

  I couldn’t get another word out because he lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me. He continued to kiss me until the timer went off in the kitchen five minutes later. After we had crumb cake, which Pierce thoroughly enjoyed, we gave Callie some attention before we took off to pick up Blaze and go on our hike.

  Through all of it, I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face.

  Somehow, I had a feeling Pierce enjoyed that, too.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Surprisingly, I’m doing really well,” Gwen replied. “Other than being so freaking tired and needing to pee all the time, I am not experiencing any sickness.”

  “You already used to pee all the time!” I returned.

  “Precisely. That’s how I know there’s something changing in my body. The amount of time I spend throughout the day just going to the bathroom now is ridiculous. I’m just glad that school is out and I can sleep in. I don’t think I would have made it through the school days with how tired I’m feeling right now.”

  “You are busy growing a baby,” I reminded her with a smile plastered on my face. I was so happy she’d gotten to this point. I knew she wasn’t necessarily out of the woods yet and that anything could happen since it was still so early in her pregnancy, but I wanted to think positive thoughts. “I’ve never done it, but I’ve heard it’s a lot of work. Have you had any doctor’s appointments?”

  “We had one last Friday and we got to hear the baby’s heartbeat,” she stated. She took a moment before she continued, “It finally feels real; I almost can’t believe it’s happening after all this time.”

  I felt my heart squeeze. Gwen deserved this. “I told you it would eventually happen. I’m so happy for you, Gwen.”

  “Thanks, Zara. I don’t think I could have gotten through this without your love and support.”

  “It was nothing,” I insisted. “Have you and Jason decided to find out if you’re having a boy or girl?”

  “We want to keep it a surprise, but that means we’ve got to wait until the end of February to find out. I’m due on the twenty-first.”

  I didn’t know if I could handle the suspense. “That’s so far away,” I complained. “What am I going to do until then?”

  Gwen laughed and reasoned, “You’re going to tell me all about what’s happening between you and that gorgeous man of yours.”

  Images of Pierce filtered through my mind. It had been nearly two weeks since we’d gone out on our official first date. I couldn’t remember ever feeling so good about myself.

  Pierce had done just as he said he would and filled me up every single day with beautiful words. He found creative ways to communicate his thoughts to me and he did it in a way that I found myself questioning them less and less.

  One morning, I’d woken up to find that he wasn’t sleeping beside me. He’d left a note on the pillow next to mine.

  Good morning, beautiful. I left to pick up Blaze for our hike this morning. And I’m bringing breakfast back with me. All you need to do is get yourself ready. I put Callie’s food in her dish before I left. Be back soon. Make sure you put on those pants I love so much.—Pierce

  I smiled thinking about his note and all the sweet things he’d said to me recently as I answered Gwen, “I appreciate the mirror now.”

  “I’m sorry…what?” she returned.

  I let out a deep sigh and explained, “He likes me, and he tells me all the time. You know how bad I was feeling about myself and how much I struggled with my physical appearance. I’m not magically cured or anything, but I’ve been making an effort to look in the mirror every day and find something new to appreciate. Pierce pushed me to do that.”

  “I love this guy for you. Wow, Zara, I can already hear the lightness in your voice. You don’t sound sad anymore.”

  “But I’m worried, though,” I blurted.

  “What? Why?”

  I stayed silent a moment, not sure if I wanted to admit it to her. I’d shared part of it with Pierce, but sharing it with someone else—no matter it was my best friend—would mean I’d have to deal with things I’d been trying to avoid.

  “I don’t want to get burned, Gwen. Not again. I can’t. I won’t survive going through this again. This move was supposed to be my fresh start and if I screw it up because I had to be selfish…” I trailed off.

  “Wanting to find happiness is not selfish,” she insisted.

  “But—” I got out before she cut me off.

  “No buts, Zara. I get it. Believe me, I do. I know what you went through after everything happened with Brad, but you don’t deserve to have him take it all away from you. Pierce might be the guy for you. And if he is, babe, Brad did you a favor.”

  I had to admit she had a point.

  Even still, it did little to settle the nerves I had about the relationship between Pierce and me. The truth was, over the last couple months, I’d let go of my defenses quicker than I ever imagined possible. I could feel myself falling fast. And what worried me most was that I’d go plummeting to the ground and he wouldn’t be there to catch me.

  I’d have nobody.

  Again.

  “I’m meeting his family today,” I declared.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah,” I confirmed. “They have a Fourth of July celebration every year, and he guilted me into going with him.”

  Gwen let out a laugh. “How’d he manage to do that?”

  “His twin sister just had a baby two months ago. He doesn’t want to miss the get-together, particularly because this is his nephew’s first, but he also wanted to spend the day with me. There was no way I could decline his invitation when he brought up the baby.”

  I waited for my friend to respond, but she never did.

  “Gwen?”

  There was the sound of a sniffle before she whispered, “I’m here.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’d like to just say it’s the pregnancy h
ormones, but it’s not. I’m so happy for you, babe.”

  No.

  No.

  No.

  “It’s the pregnancy,” I asserted. “This isn’t normal. You are my cynic. I told you this so you’d talk me into keeping my walls up and guarding my heart. You are not supposed to be breaking down like this, Gwen. Now what am I going to do?”

  She laughed at me and stated, “You’re going to go meet Pierce’s family and you’re going to enjoy yourself. And then, one day very soon, you’re going to fall in love again.”

  Now I stayed silent. This was mostly because I couldn’t breathe.

  Love?

  Again?

  The thought of love terrified me, but when I thought of not being with Pierce, that frightened me even more.

  “Zara?” Gwen called.

  “Yeah, I’m here.”

  “It’s okay to fall in love again,” she assured me, her voice gentle.

  “What if he hurts me?” I worried.

  “Then I’ll be there to help you pick up the pieces,” she immediately replied. “But, babe?

  “Yeah?”

  “What if he doesn’t?”

  I took in a deep breath and blew it out. I didn’t know if I’d know what to do if Pierce proved to be unlike so many other people I’d come to love and trust in my life. While Pierce had proved to this point that he had the potential to be the kind of person who wouldn’t give up on me, the concept of it was so foreign.

  I didn’t respond to Gwen’s question. She wasn’t expecting an answer; she simply wanted me to think of what I could possibly miss out on if I didn’t try.

  We moved our conversation to other topics and I confirmed that she hadn’t heard from Brad again. Thankfully, other than the one time he stopped at her school, he hadn’t attempted to contact her again.

  After talking for longer than we should have, considering I had somewhere to be very soon, Gwen and I said goodbye.

  Then, I wasted no time and immediately started getting ready.

  “You have a bathing suit, right?” Pierce wondered.

  My head snapped to the side so I could see if he was actually serious. The look on his face told me he was.

  “What?” I whispered my question as I straightened my body and turned toward him. I had been leaning over with one foot on my bed, putting lotion on my leg.

  Pierce took a few steps toward me, pressed a kiss to my cheek, and stated, “Mom and Dad have a pool. Everyone goes swimming every year. You have to bring a suit with you.”

  I fidgeted with my hands and looked everywhere but at Pierce. This was turning out to be a nightmare. I was already worried about meeting his family; there was no way I could do it in a swimsuit. Over the last six or seven weeks that I’d been going hiking with Pierce and taking yoga classes with Leni, I had managed to lose a total of twelve pounds. I was feeling much better about myself, but I was nowhere near where I wanted to be.

  “Pierce,” I started. “I can’t—” I didn’t get to say anything else because Pierce cut me off.

  “Zara.”

  His voice was firm and held a bit of a warning.

  “I’m not ready for that,” I said, but I was pleading with him.

  “Beautiful, it’s just my parents, my sister, her husband, and Theo. Nobody will be judging you.”

  I swallowed hard past the lump forming in my throat and admitted, “I will be judging me. Please, Pierce, please don’t ask me to do that today. I’ll be so uncomfortable.”

  Disappointment washed over his face and his shoulders fell. He brought a hand up and curled it around the side of my neck, where his thumb stroked along my jaw. His voice was so sweet and tender when he stressed, “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you, Zara. If only you knew just how beautiful you are.”

  God, my heart.

  I wanted that.

  I wanted to see myself the way he saw me.

  “I’m sorry, Pierce. I just need a little more time to get the extra weight off.”

  He shook his head and insisted, “You don’t have to apologize to me. I don’t want you to regret having missed out on so much because of your insecurities. You deserve to enjoy your life, Zara, not watch it pass you by. I just hate knowing that one day you’re going to look back on all these moments and realize you already had every reason to be confident.”

  I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything at all. Pierce tugged me toward him, engulfed me in his arms, and held me tight. I squeezed back with everything in me, hoping he was the real deal.

  After several beats of silence, Pierce loosened his hold on me and urged, “Come on. Let’s get Callie and take you to meet my family.”

  Twenty minutes later, Pierce pulled his truck into the driveway at his parents’ sprawling estate. When he told me several weeks ago that Blaze would have plenty of room to run around at his parents’ home, he wasn’t kidding. They must have had ten acres of land, made up of rolling hills and tons of trees. His truck climbed the driveway, and when we got out at the peak of the mountain, I stood at the top and looked out at the land before me.

  Seeing it, I was reminded of home. A newfound peace settled within me. This beautiful place was my home now. It had been just shy of one year since I moved from Pennsylvania, and I was no longer having any doubts about my choice to move to Windsor.

  “Are you okay?” Pierce asked quietly beside me with Callie in his arms.

  With a smile on my face, I turned to him and said, “Yeah, I think I am.”

  Pierce shot me a questioning look but didn’t press me for more. I think he knew that even if there was something else going on with me I needed to have the time to process my thoughts on my own. He’d always proven to be incredibly patient.

  Curling one arm around my waist, Pierce guided me away from the view and along the side of the house toward the back. We walked through the gate at the edge of the driveway and turned the corner. That’s when everything came into view.

  Not just the beautiful landscape.

  But the pool.

  The deck.

  And Pierce’s family.

  My whole body went rigid and my hands tightened around the bowl I was carrying as butterflies swarmed my belly. I hadn’t realized until this precise moment just how nervous I was about meeting his family.

  “Relax, beautiful,” Pierce gently urged, already sensing my anxiety.

  As we approached, Pierce’s sister—who I recognized from the time I saw her in Tasha’s Café months ago—noticed us. While she held onto who I could only assume was Theo, she eyed us, or more precisely me, carefully before a grin broke out on her face. I only felt slightly relieved by that when I saw her mouth move, indicating she was talking to someone close by. Sure enough, an older woman stood beside her, grinned, and waved at us.

  If nothing else, it was evident that Pierce’s family was at least going to give me a chance before they wrote me off.

  Pierce led me up the stairs to the deck where we found his family waiting.

  “Hey,” he greeted them. “Everyone, this is my girlfriend, Zara. Zara, this is my family.”

  They all shot warm smiles my way as Pierce pointed to each of them and introduced them individually. “This is my mom, Katherine. Everyone calls her Kathy. And this is my dad, Mark,” he began. “This is my sister, Alex, and her husband, Eric. And this little guy is my nephew, Theo.”

  “It’s so nice to meet all of you,” I said. “Thanks for having me here to celebrate with you.”

  “Thank you for coming,” Kathy declared. “I’m so happy to finally meet you.”

  Finally? I thought.

  I guess it was safe to assume Pierce had spoken about me.

  “Grab a seat,” his father urged from where he was standing, manning the grill. “Food’s just about ready.”

  “Thank you. I brought macaroni salad. I hope that’s okay,” I wondered, holding the bowl out.

  “Absolutely!” his mom exclaimed. “We love to eat.”

/>   Everyone sat down, and five minutes later, Mark was carrying a plate of grilled burgers, hot dogs, and chicken breasts over to the table. Kathy had already set out several side dishes.

  Ten minutes later, I was finally feeling relaxed. Pierce’s family was amazing. They kept the conversation flowing and managed to do it without making me feel awkward or excluded.

  Eventually, after we’d finished eating and were sitting around visiting, they turned the conversation to me.

  “So, Zara, I have to ask—what is it that you did to those flowers Pierce gave me for Mother’s Day?” Kathy wondered.

  Confused by her question, I pulled my brows together.

  “Oh my goodness, yes!” Alex chimed in. “I’ve never had fresh flowers last as long as those did. I told Eric that if he’s ever going to get me flowers again, he needs to get them from you. I had those flowers for quite a few weeks.”

  Mark looked to his son-in-law and shared, “I’ve been given the same orders, son.”

  Understanding what they were getting at, I asked Kathy and Alex, “Did you follow the care instructions I included?”

  “Yes,” Kathy answered.

  “Well, there you go,” I started, shrugging it off. I went on and explained, “Flowers are just like any other living thing. When given the proper attention and nurturing, they’ll flourish.”

  Pierce’s hand squeezed my thigh. I glanced over to see his face had softened and his eyes had warmed. He’d taken my words to mean something else entirely.

  Shaking her head, Alex maintained, “I don’t know. I think there’s something special about yours because I’ve always followed the care instructions when I get them and I’ve never had that kind of success.”

  Letting out a laugh, I insisted, “I have no idea. You two are the first to tell me about the lifespan of my flowers. I’ve had repeat clients, but I always assumed they were coming back because I was close by or because they just liked the way the arrangements looked. I never thought to ask about how long the previous bouquet lasted. But I’ll be sure to do that from now on because I’m certainly curious.”