Anora's Pride

by Kathleen Lawless

  As if she'd ever forget.

  “The night...” Her voice faltered. “When you left me that night, it was your intention to hunt Rosco down and kill him. Even though you knew it was wrong. Even though you knew it made you no better than him.”

  Jesse didn't move. Didn't speak. And his silence infuriated Anora. Why didn't he speak up in his own defense? He could say things such as how Rosco was no better than a rabid dog. He deserved to die. The man had killed their baby, along with countless other people. But Jesse just eyed her wordlessly, and Anora wished she hadn't come. If he wouldn't fight to save himself, then for sure he'd never fight for her. For them.

  The magnitude of all they'd lost rippled through her. Facing Jesse brought back everything she'd worked so hard to forget these past days. Including the fact that she still loved him.

  “Sarah...” Her voice broke and she tried again. “Sarah was the one thing that brought us together. Gave us a chance. With her gone, there's...there's no more point in going on. No point in pretending to each other that we care.”

  She held her breath as she waited for Jesse to say something. Anything.

  Admit that he cared.

  Deny that he cared.

  When the silence got to be more than she could bear, she turned and walked away, not sparing Jesse a backward glance.

  Once clear of the jail, her feet carried her automatically to the burial park, where she made her way between the markers to the recently turned mound that covered the remains of baby Sarah. The fragile life she and Jesse had created together. Way back when she'd loved him with a senseless and consuming passion that defied reason. When she'd given herself willingly to him even though she didn't trust him and didn't know that she ever could. What good was love without trust to give it strength?

  Anora hunkered down on the frozen ground and hugged her knees. All her life, her men had let her down. Starting with her pa. After that it was Ben, when he got involved with Rosco's gang. Then Jesse, as she had lain there in the cabin, weak and bleeding from the birth, the lifeless body of her daughter for company, Jesse had denied her the one thing in the world she'd needed. His presence. His reassuring touch. His testimony of love. As long as Jesse believed love didn't exist, she'd always be alone.

  It wasn't until she stood and brushed away her tears that Anora sensed she was no longer alone. A man stood a short distance from her. Once she spotted him, he took a hesitant step forward, as if unsure of his welcome, and watching him move from the shadows Anora felt the blood drain from her face.

  “Ben?”

  He smiled and came toward her, walking with a sure, even stride the way she'd always dreamed. Was the whole encounter a dream? A ghostly Ben, risen from the grave?

  His arms closed around her, real and solid, and Anora clung to her brother as if she'd been tossed a lifeline.

  “Where...? How...?” She pulled back and stared into his newly matured features. “Who's in that grave over yonder with your name on the marker?”

  Ben laughed and hugged her again. “What do you want to know first?”

  “Mercy. I feel so lightheaded, I scarcely know where to start.”

  “Then you better let me talk. I don't rightly know whose remains those are. I came across the body in the canyon last summer, and it started me thinking. I knew I couldn't just take off with Rosco's booty. The man would have hunted me down. But if I could somehow make him believe I was dead...”

  “Where'd you go?”

  “Boston, of course.” He gave her a telling look. “You think I didn't know the real reason you were trying to save every penny you could put by? I heard about that famous surgeon too, you know, same as you.”

  “You never said a word.”

  “What? And ruin your surprise? Anyway, I figured if I was to up and disappear it'd also leave the way clear for you and the marshal. Hear you two got hitched.”

  “How'd you hear that?”

  “I holed up a time in Indian Springs. Close enough to make sure you were okay.” His touch gentled. “I'm real sorry about the baby. I came as soon as I heard. I also heard how the marshal's in jail.”

  “Rosco's dead. Now his pa's doing a fine job of causing grief in other folks’ lives.”

  “I'm thinking maybe there's something I can do to help fix that.”

  “What can you do?”

  “For starters, have a little talk with the magistrate. Explain to him how Rosco was dying long before Quantrill ever laid eyes on the man. Smelled so bad, and coughing blood, the whole time I rode with him. Rosco was dying from the inside out. Bragged real good, he did, ‘bout how if he didn't bring Quantrill down one way, he'd get him another.”

  “You think it'll work?” Her hopes fell as quickly as they rose. “Won't you get in trouble for riding with Rosco?”

  Ben's face showed a thoughtful maturity she'd never seen before. “You leave me to worry about that.”

  She clutched his arm, still unable to believe he wouldn't disappear from her sight. “Those Boston doctors. They really did fix your leg?”

  “Better than new.” He touched a gloved finger to her cheek. “You've had a lot of sadness, Nory. Maybe, finally, life'll start to get happy for you.”

  Anora's heart filled with pride at the confident way Ben carried himself through town. He seemed taller than she recalled. “You grow some while you were away?”

  “You could say I grew up.”

  They parted company in front of the magistrate's. Only then did Anora realize the full implication of Ben's return. If the fates were kind, Jesse could well go free. Except he'd never speak to her again. He'd never forgive her for deceiving him about her and Ben.

  Anora perched on the fluffy pink chair and sipped the brandy Ricki had insisted on serving her. The fiery liquor warmed her insides, and before she knew it the whole story came tumbling from her lips.

  “And so you see, even if Jesse goes free, and I want him to, he'll be furious with me. Can't say as how I blame him. I could have easily told him the truth, back when he realized...” She paused. Her face felt flushed, and she blamed the unaccustomed brandy.

  “Realized?” Ricki waited for her to finish.

  “That Ben and I...you know. Weren't really man and wife.”

  “Why didn't you come clean?” Ricki crossed her legs and the movement caused her robe to slip to one side, but she didn't seem to notice the way Anora stared in fascination at the sheerest stockings she'd ever laid eyes on.

  “You'll probably think it sounds silly. But Jesse being so worldly and all, I would have felt downright foolish confessing to him how I only pretended to be married. Too proud to admit Ben was really my brother. Besides, I know how the truth is powerful important to a man like Jesse.”

  “Funny, hearing you say that. ‘Cause the Jesse I know lies all the time.”

  “Oh, I don't think so.”

  “Honey, I know so.” Ricki tossed back her drink, then rose and crossed the room for a refill. “So Ben's come back. With information that can help clear Jesse. I don't see the problem.”

  “The problem's Jesse.” Anora let out a frustrated sigh. She'd hoped that Ricki, having known Jesse for so long, might be able to suggest some magic way to make things right.

  “True, Jesse might be pissed some. But trust me, that won't last. Man's crazy in love with you.”

  “In love? Oh, no. You're wrong about that. Jesse doesn't believe in love.”

  “I suppose he told you that himself?”

  “All the time.”

  “See? Goes back to what I said earlier. About Jesse being a bigger liar than you are. And don't you hesitate to tell him so.”

  “I'm afraid I don't follow you.”

  “Jesse ever talk to you about his baby sister, Rose?”

  “A little. I know she lives in Philly, with her son.”

  “Jesse was a teenager when baby Rose was born. That little moppet followed him everywhere, and he thought the sun rose and set on her. So when he learned she'd got hersel
f in a family way, he was some kind of upset. Felt he'd failed in his duties to keep her chaste. You know. Menfolk. It's one thing for Jesse and the boys to be randy as hell. But his sister was expected to be a proper lady.”

  Ricki stared at the ceiling a second before continuing her story. “He went after the young man responsible, expecting him to marry Rose. Probably would have happened, too, except Jesse can be kind of hotheaded. The two men met and there was a scuffle. Jesse would never have hurt Cameron, you understand. I believe he was right fond of the boy. Unfortunately, Cameron was accidentally killed.”

  “I-I...How?”

  “Damn fool stabbed Jesse, then fell on his knife blade when he turned to run away.”

  “Cameron was Rosco's brother.” Suddenly things became crystal clear.

  “Half brother. Anyway, the reason I'm telling you this is because the Jesse I know is more than capable of love. I've seen how he loves Rose and Andrew. And, girl, any fool can see he loves you, too.” She slanted Anora a look. “You love him?”

  “Course I do.”

  Ricki sat back, lit a thin brown cigar, and exhaled a stream of smoke. “So let me ask you this. What all are you prepared to do about it? Are you prepared to swallow your pride? To fight for Jesse's love?”

  Jesse clattered down the steps and into the street, where he paused to look in both directions.

  “King!” The other man wasn't the only one who heard him. Up and down both sides of the street, folks stopped in their tracks and turned to stare as their marshal faced off against Ben King.

  The younger man slowly made his way back toward Jesse. “Something on your mind, Quantrill?”

  “You know what's on my mind.”

  “Do I?”

  Jesse hunched his shoulders against the cold blast of wind that blew down the back of his collar. A crowd started to gather. Once he would have preferred to keep this private, but he was past caring.

  “Got some things need saying.”

  “Shoot,” King said, then grinned. “Not literal-like, mind.”

  “It's about Anora.”

  “What about her?”

  “I want to know what your intentions are.”

  King scratched his chin thoughtfully. “Strikes me as maybe I should be asking you the same thing.”

  “You don't love her the way she deserves.”

  “That's true enough,” King said. “I do love the gal. Only different from you.”

  “You treated her poorly.”

  “There's no denying that.”

  “You don't deserve her.”

  “Do you?” King said, a challenge in his voice.

  Jesse exhaled in a rush. “I make her a better husband.”

  King appeared to ponder his words. Suddenly he looked beyond Jesse and grinned. “Well, speak of the devil. Here she comes now. You best be taking this up with her.”

  Jesse stared, open-mouthed, as King made his way to Anora's side, where he gave her a hug and a chaste kiss on the forehead. Then he mounted his horse and rode away without a backward glance.

  Jesse had eyes only for Anora. Till he realized they still had an audience.

  “What are y'all looking at?” he bellowed in his best lawman's tone. “Go on. Get about your business.” It seemed to take forever till the street cleared. Finally it was just the two of them. Him and Anora. And for once Jesse didn't have a clue what to say. He moved toward her, not too close.

  Anora broke the silence. “What did Ben want?”

  A scant two feet separated them physically. To Jesse, it seemed the chasm of a lifetime. “Told me he loved you. Only different from me. What did he mean by that?”

  He watched Anora twist her hands together. “I have something to tell you. Only promise you won't get mad.”

  “Get mad? Why would I get mad?”

  “Promise.”

  Jesse nodded.

  “Your word?” Anora said. She seemed more anxious than usual.

  “I said so, didn't I?”

  Anora tilted her head back in order to look directly into his eyes. “You remember when you and I...and you asked me why my marriage to Ben was different?”

  “I remember.”

  “Well, I kind of misled you.”

  “Misled me how?”

  She watched his eyes grow wary and forced herself to go on. “I let you continue to think me and Ben were husband and wife, when we weren't. I know I should have told you the truth. And I'm sorry. You'll never know just how sorry I am.”

  “You and King were never husband and wife? What the hell are you to each other?”

  “Ben's my brother.”

  For a moment Jesse was too shocked to speak. “Why didn't you just tell me plain out?”

  “Because I know how much you revere the truth. And I didn't want to lose you.”

  He let out a pent-up breath. “Damn you, Anora. This is one heck of a time to be telling me this.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you have any idea the hell I went through when he walked into the magistrate's and told his story about Rosco? I was cleared. And trapped in hell at the same time. ‘Cause I believed King had a prior claim on you. And being set free didn't mean a plugged nickel to me if it meant I couldn't have you.”

  “I knew you'd be mad,” Anora said. “And I don't blame you.” She remembered Ricki's words and forced herself to continue. “For that matter, I don't cotton to being lied to, myself.”

  “I ever lie to you?”

  “Yeah, you did.”

  “When?”

  “Every time you told me how you don't believe in love.” She watched the play of emotions across his face. The doubts and uncertainties. And finally the surrender.

  “I was some kind of fool. Tried to deny the way you made me feel, from the very first moment I laid eyes on you.”

  “You teased me about my freckles.”

  “I love your freckles.”

  “From the time you first came to town I was sorry I ever let anyone call me Mrs. King.”

  “You okay with folks calling you Mrs. Quantrill?”

  “I'm very okay with that.”

  He swallowed thickly. “Do you still hate me for running out on you?”

  “Hate you, Jesse?” Anora took a faltering step forward. “I could never hate you.” A mere arm's length separated them. One of them had to make the first move. Funny how she didn't mind that it would be her.

  She cupped his face between her palms. His dear, dear face. As she gazed up at him, she resolved to put the light of laughter back in those tired, troubled eyes. To erase the lines of strain bracketing his kissable lips. To somehow ensure their future made good with all its promises.

  “I love you, Jesse Quantrill.”

  “Not half so much as I love you.” He dragged her against him. It felt so good. Where she belonged.

  As she circled her arms around his neck and realized he was trembling, she was overcome with awe at the power she had over this strong, amazing lawman.

  “I wouldn't expect you to leave Boulder Springs. I know how you feel about your home.”

  “My home is anyplace you are,” Anora said softly, her eyes loving his. “As long as we're together.”

  “Kind of don't mind it here too much, myself.”

  She saw the answering light of love in his eyes and felt the ravenous hunger in his lips, as they caught and claimed hers. Returning his kiss, she felt an overwhelming outpouring of love and emotion. It flowed from him to her and back to him. A transfer and exchange so powerful she knew she'd never again have cause to doubt the strength of their love. Or the value that came from learning to trust, surrendering her pride.

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  * * *

  Epilogue

  A Few Years Later

  “Hold still,” Anora said as she tugged on a corner of Penny's veil, straightening the sheer white mesh. “That's got it.” She stepped back a pace and handed her friend the nosegay of roses. “You set?”

&n
bsp; Penny's veil quivered. “Nory, I'm too nervous. I can't.”

  “Land sakes, girl. Of course you can. Nothing to it.”

  “Easy for you to say. You been married forever.”

  “Seems like it, anyway.” At the patter of scampering feet she looked up in time to see the twins barrel through the room. “Hold up, there, you two. Where's your pa?”

  Emily tugged at the ribbon on her special-made dress.

  “He's wif Uncle Ben.”

  “Why aren't you both out front?”

  Jesse Junior piped up. “Sent us to see if y'all are ready.”

  “You tell those men to hold their horses. We'll be along presently.”

  “Okay, Ma.” Hand in hand the twins ran from the room.

  “Slow down and walk,” Anora called after them, but her words fell on deaf ears.

  “Those two don't walk anyplace,” Penny said.

  “Just like Ben.” Anora hugged her friend. “I still can hardly believe you two are making a match.”

  “I can hardly believe it myself. But ever since he went away, it's like he came back a new person.”

  Anora beamed proudly. Ben had turned himself in, then struck a deal to lead the law to the gang's hideout. Since most of the outlaws’ spoils had been recovered and returned, Ben was not only pardoned, he was hailed as a hero.

  “I hope you both will be as happy as we are.”

  “I hope so, too. Never saw an old married couple behave like they're still on their honeymoon, the way you two carry on.”

  “That's the secret, Penny. Don't let the honeymoon ever end.”

  Jesse appeared in the doorway in time to hear her last sentence. “What's this talk about honeymoons? We haven't got to the marrying part yet. Poor old Ben's afraid you've gone and changed your mind.”

  Anora stepped into her husband's arms for a quick kiss. “You run along and tell him we'll be right out.”

  “If you'd kept me waiting like this, I don't know whether or not I'd have hung around.”

  Anora cocked him a cheeky grin. “You'd have hung around, Jesse Quantrill. Long as I'd have set you to wait.”