The Daughter He Never Knew

by Linda Barrett

  The Lobster Pot looked great. The nautical motif was perfect. So was the hometown atmosphere with the personalized artwork on the walls. Several posters caught his eye.

  “We call that section the Sea View House display,” said Thea, waving her arm to an arrangement of three large posters. All the couples in the pictures had lived at Sea View House this year. “Take a good look at the first one. You’ll be most interested in that.”

  Jason glanced at it, then did a double take at the spitting-image caricatures of Matt and Laura. His brother wore an oversize tool belt—acknowledging Parker Plumbing and Hardware. One arm was raised high in the air, holding a huge wrench with Laura balanced on top. Matt’s other hand was fisted at his hip and he was winking at the viewer. The caption read Matt Parker Loves His Wench!

  “This is great stuff! Goofy but great,” exclaimed Jason, feeling himself grin from ear to ear. He studied the other two posters and enjoyed the wordplay.

  “Who did these?” Jason stared up at Thea. “They’re perfect for the restaurant. For Pilgrim Cove. The wall is like a hometown diary—”

  “That everybody reads!” said Matt.

  Jason chuckled. “The love life in Pilgrim Cove is really an open book because everyone eats here sooner or later. After all, the Lobster Pot is the best seafood house in New England!”

  “And my sister’s an idiot,” murmured Thea, patting Jason on the shoulder.

  Jason heard her. “Come again?” he asked.

  “Never mind,” she replied. “My sister draws the posters—she’s quite an artist—and I usually come up with the taglines. Boy, we surprised ourselves! We started creating the posters five or six years ago, so they’re new to you. I’ll tell her you like them. In the meantime, enjoy your meal, everybody. And, welcome home, Jason.”

  She disappeared in a hurry, but Jason felt he’d done a good night’s work by showing up. He’d wear Maggie down the same way he was chipping away at Lila’s defenses. Little by little.

  He surveyed the restaurant, wondering where Lila was that evening, then dug into his lobster.

  “COME ON, KATIE,” said Lila. “Grandma will give us a meal at the restaurant. Strap yourself in.” She waited while Katie complied before starting the car. She’d put in a long Saturday, and her hungry stomach was sending messages. Having a restaurant in the family was a fine idea.

  “I had such a good day!” said Katie. “I had breakfast at the Diner this morning with Daddy, and now I’m having dinner with you at the Lobster Pot.”

  Lila chuckled. “Is it the food or the family that you like, Katie?”

  “Both! It’s fun to eat with everybody. Papa Bart said I’m a member of the Clean Plate Club. Do you think I’m getting too fat, Mommy?”

  Good God! Now what? Raising a healthy child kept a person on her toes. “Are you kidding? With all the running around you and Sara do? You’re just perfect the way you are.”

  “Good. ’Cause I really like pancakes and bacon. And I really like clam chowder…and I’m really starv-ing right now!”

  Whew! “And here we are, sweetie.” Lila pulled into the first spot she found. A minute later she and Katie bypassed the outdoor eating area and pulled open the front door. Delicious aromas, clinking utensils, people chattering, staff waving at her. All so familiar. So good.

  “Let’s find Grandma,” said Lila.

  “But I don’t want to eat in the kitchen. Too hot.”

  “We won’t eat in the kitchen…but near the kitchen. If there’s a table,” said Lila, waving to the familiar staff while following Katie down the center corridor.

  “Look, Mom! There’s Daddy and Grandpa Sam and Uncle Matt and…and… Let’s go!” She was off like a rocket. Lila hurried to keep up.

  “We’re here, everybody,” sang out Katie as she headed toward Jason. “Hi, Daddy.” She crawled onto his lap, kissed him, jumped down and then made her rounds while Lila greeted the table in general. Jason stood up and waved her over.

  “Let’s get a couple more chairs.” He suited action to words and Lila found herself part of the Parker clan.

  “Look! There’s Grandma.” Katie was off again. Lila also stood and walked toward her mother, as Maggie approached their table.

  “How’s the dinner, folks?”

  Lila’s eyes narrowed. Her mom’s professional face was on. Then Bart spoke up. “I’m glad Thea was right after all. You’re not hiding out in the kitchen.”

  If looks could kill, Bart would not be among the living. “Hide out? From what?” Maggie’s voice squealed with incredulity.

  Jason rose and extended his hand. “Hopefully, not from me. Hi, Maggie. Nice to see you again.”

  The woman whirled toward him. “The day I hide from a thoughtless boy…”

  Lila stepped to the side and grasped the back of her chair. Now? Her hotheaded mother was going to make a scene now? In the middle of the crowded restaurant? “Oh, God,” she murmured. “No.”

  She didn’t know whether Jason heard her or not, but to her shock, Jason began to laugh. “Ah, Maggie. A boy? If only it were true!” He hoisted Katie in his arms. “Grandma says I’m a boy. So I’ll have to play with my favorite girl. Who’s that?”

  “Me!”

  Lila watched Katie giggle as Jason blew raspberries on her belly. She folded herself into her chair, relieved not to witness a Maggie theatrical. Jason glanced at her and winked, and Lila had to cover her own chuckles with her napkin. She’d have a heart-to-heart with her mom later. Although Maggie insisted on blaming Jason for everything that had happened in Lila’s life, Jason was not responsible for controlling Maggie’s behavior in public.

  She tapped Jason’s arm. “Thank you. I’ll talk to her.”

  He leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “That’s ‘the boy’s’ job.” Then he kissed the sensitive spot behind her lobe, and she shivered.

  JASON LEANED against his rental car, waiting for the Saturday night crowd to disappear. He hadn’t said a word to Lila about talking to Maggie that very evening when he’d escorted her and Katie to their vehicle almost two hours ago. He’d merely said good-night and that he’d see them the next day. Now only a few cars were left in the lot. He walked to the back door of the restaurant.

  The outer storm door was wide open on this warm May evening, and through the screen door, Jason saw the late crew of kitchen help cleaning up. Thea and Maggie were both there, supervising. Their husbands, Charlie Cavelli and Tom Sullivan, were taking orders along with the employees.

  No question that Lila came from a line of hard-working women. Women who took pleasure in their accomplishments. He watched how Thea stood, hands on her hips, surveying the area. She nodded, pointed, nodded again. Thumbs up!

  He watched Maggie direct the staff to refill salt and pepper shakers, he watched how she sent them with clean tablecloths and silverware from the kitchen to the dining areas. He remembered the drill from years ago when the women were making their mark, and he and Lila would help out as needed. They’d set the tables in advance for the next day’s customers. Man, as a kid, he was either in the plumbing and hardware store or in the restaurant. Family businesses always needed a few extra hands.

  He sighed. That was then, and this was now. She’d throw him out if he offered to help—which would accomplish nothing. So he waited a bit more, until the hired employees approached the door. Jason stepped back, let them pass by, then knocked on the door and walked in.

  “Good evening, everyone. Sorry to intrude.”

  “Jason!” said Tom Sullivan, walking over. “Car problems? Need a phone?”

  Lila’s dad was a cool guy. Had the reputation of being fair. Jason had been so focused on Lila’s mother, he hadn’t thought much about Tom Sullivan earlier. But now he changed his mind. Tom was a coach and now an athletic director for the high school. If anyone knew about fair play, he did.

  “Thanks, Tom. My car’s a rental, but nothing’s wrong. I really came to see Maggie. But if you want to join us, that would be fine.”
He’d leave it to the Sullivans to figure it out. Maybe Maggie would prefer a private conversation.

  Maggie walked toward the door. Toward Jason. “What are you doing here?” No small talk.

  “Picking up where we left off.” And sparing Lila from witnessing whatever happened next.

  Maggie’s eyes shone with the anticipation of an imminent conflict. The woman was not a wuss. But was she able to think beyond her own desires?

  “Where we left off?” she asked. “Oh. That must be when I referred to you as ‘a boy’?” She paused, looked at him. “I really hit a tender spot, didn’t I?”

  He said nothing yet, allowing her to vent. It took almost a full two minutes before he spoke.

  “Maggie. I hear you. I understand how frustrated you feel.”

  “You—you understand nothing! You’re not a mother. You’re just a boy. A thoughtless boy with bad timing. And you call yourself a musician!”

  “Look at me, Maggie!” It was a command. His voice whipped the words into the air, and the kitchen became silent. In the background, he knew that Charlie and Thea existed near the sinks. He knew that Tom stood beside his wife. But Jason kept his eyes on Maggie.

  “Look at me,” he said again, softer this time. “What do you see, Maggie? Do I look like a boy? Sound like a boy?”

  “A man would have come home!” Her voice shrilled, her eyes shone with tears.

  “A man did come home,” he replied, gently.

  Silence filled the room. He’d made his point, and he left.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  “HIS FEELINGS FOR YOU haven’t changed, Lila. That was Jason’s message to us last night,” said Tom Sullivan. “Even Mom had to admit it—after he left, of course. Your aunt and uncle witnessed the whole shebang and they agree.”

  Her morning coffee forgotten, Lila—showered, dressed and ready for a busy Sunday morning at work—held the phone tightly against her ear and listened to her dad’s recitation of the prior evening’s events. Seemed that the Lobster Pot’s kitchen had gotten hotter after closing.

  “The big question is, princess,” continued Tom slowly, “do you still love him, or have you cried too many tears because of him? You’re the only one, sweetheart, who knows the answer to that question.”

  Lila respected her dad’s insight into people, but she didn’t need his confirmation about Jason’s feelings toward her. Not when Jason treated her like fragile porcelain with his gentle kisses while his eyes shone hot with passion. He was showing her, not just telling her, that she controlled the pace, that what she wanted was more important than what he wanted. At least for now. She understood that. But…

  “Oh, Daddy…you’re right when you say it’s a big question. Do I still love him?” she repeated. “When I see him, I want to run to him. My heart tells me, ‘Go!’ But then I remember….” She paused, her throat tightening, and had to regain control. “I remember the empty years, the loneliness…. I still don’t know about or completely understand everything that happened to him. Although I do know that parts of his life were bad. Very bad. When I remind myself of that, my head tells me, ‘Wait!’ I don’t know what I think.

  “If only he’d kept in touch! If he’d visited once in a while…and shared with me…I’d wrap him in my arms right now and love him so hard, he’d never want to take off again. God, how I loved him! He’s the only man I’ve ever… I’ve ever… Oh, you know what I mean!” She broke off that topic, but continued to let other words pour out.

  Strange to be talking to her dad this way. Or not so strange. He’d always been a good listener, but it had been a long time since their last heart-to-heart. And now it felt so good to confide in someone she could trust to hear her out and not judge.

  “What about Fielding?” asked Tom. “You never wanted to…ahh…you know what I mean!”

  Lila remained silent.

  “Then, sweetheart,” said Tom, “in my opinion, Jason did you a favor by showing up now. But—that doesn’t mean that I’m endorsing him as a son-in-law. Not yet or maybe not ever. That will be your call. And only yours.”

  Was she the luckiest girl to have Tom Sullivan as a father?

  “And if you’re not sure,” Tom continued, “then do nothing. When in doubt, do nothing. This decision is too important. And this time, Lila, no one will be pushing you down the aisle.”

  “Mom sure won’t!”

  “You can count on that! Maggie May will be thinking before speaking…for a while at least.” His chuckle came through the line. “But your granddad might start hinting. The Quinn’s not above a little manipulation.”

  “You don’t say!” Lila began to laugh.

  “That’s my girl,” said Tom. “Jason’s not going anywhere, and you’re not going anywhere. If he’s the right guy for you…you’ll know. I love you, princess. Remember that. You and Katie come first.”

  “I know,” she whispered. “And I love you, Dad. Thanks.”

  She replaced the phone gently, enjoying the unfamiliar serenity that filled her. A pleasant change. A needed change. For her own sake. Not for her mother. Not for her daughter. Not for her granddad. Not for Jason, either. But for herself. She needed a peaceful mind in order to move forward on her own terms.

  She’d start by learning more about Jason’s missing years.

  ALTHOUGH JASON DROVE to the high school on Tuesday morning, ready to interact with the senior class, most of his thoughts centered on Lila. Would she show up? And if she did, would she understand or be totally disgusted with him? There was a part of him that didn’t want her to know how low he’d fallen. Another part of him, however, knew relationships had to be based on truth.

  He’d worked so hard to forgive himself for what had happened to Jared, to forgive himself despite his mother’s accusations, which still rang in his ears, and despite his dad’s inability to set his mother straight. And then he’d had to forgive himself for being weak. For reaching for the bottle to deaden the pain. Something he’d never done in the past.

  He’d put all his feelings in a song called Forgive Me, and yesterday his dad and brother had voted for it as the first cut on his demo. Yesterday was one of the best days he’d had in too long. A full day of…male bonding! He smiled at the memory. They’d all had the same goal, but it was not a quiet day. Each one had sat at the keyboard, wanting to learn Jason’s music. And each one had had opinions. Jason had even brought out the synthesizer, and Matt had had a ball with it. His nephew Brian had shown up after his morning baseball game—with his flute and trumpet—just in case the men needed some help. Jason knew Matt and Sam would join him again many times until they were satisfied with his selections. Never again would he be cut off from his own family.

  But he was greedy! He wanted more. He wanted a life with Lila. A Lila who would drop her defenses and begin to trust him again. If he remained patient—maybe, just maybe—he’d wake up and see her face first thing in the morning for the rest of their days. She had no idea how difficult it was to kiss her good-night on Bay Road each evening before he returned to Sea View House. She had no idea how many miles of jogging he’d accumulated on Pilgrim Beach after he got home.

  He turned into the school’s large circular driveway and immediately saw the wrecked car in the grassy middle island, its nose folded in upon itself accordion style. The huge sign hanging from it said Drinking and Driving? Call a Friend.

  Jason pulled into one of the few empty visitors’ spots, his eyes narrowing as he looked at the familiar red-brick building with the big double doors. A lifetime had passed since he’d last walked through them.

  Five minutes later, Rachel Goodman-Levine greeted him in the main office and led him to her own, all the while warmly thanking him for participating in the safety program.

  “The bad news is that the other speaker had to cancel,” she explained. “The good news is that you’re here. So, Jason, it’s your show. You can have as much time as you need. The sound system is on, we’ve got the special CD you wanted, and the twins are
prepared.” She was ticking each item on her fingertips as she spoke.

  “The girls are great,” he replied, “at least they were at our rehearsal yesterday.”

  “Not to worry. They’ll come through for you.”

  “Shoot! Rachel. In the two years I’ve been doing these programs, improvisation has become my middle name. Something always seems to go wrong or differently than planned at the last minute when I visit the schools! At the very least, I can simply tell my story. The room is always quiet, so I guess the kids are listening. They know the subject’s important. At least, I hope that’s true.”

  She smiled. “Could it possibly be that you know how to tell a story and people believe you? You feel things deeply, Jason, and it comes across.”

  “Just listen to the shrink!”

  “No, Jason. Listen to the songs!” She winked and said, “I bought the CD.” Then she glanced at her watch. “Let’s go. The kids should be filing in.”

  The program was set for ten o’clock. At ten minutes after the hour, Rachel began introducing him. From his seat onstage, Jason looked out at the sea of faces—young, excited, eager. Energy filled the big room.

  As he scanned the audience, however, he focused on the back of the room seeking one special person. She wasn’t there. Lila hadn’t shown up, and disappointment filled him.

  DARN! IT WAS HARD ENOUGH leaving the office mid-morning, and now she couldn’t find a spot! Had the whole town come to the high school today? She saw Jason’s rental. And Sam Parker’s vehicle. By the time she found a place in the back lot and raced around to the front entrance, she had to pause to catch her breath, or she’d disturb the audience.

  Finally, she made her way to the auditorium and carefully opened the door. Jason was walking toward the microphone center stage. A loden-green sport shirt with sleeves rolled to his elbows was tucked into a pair of belted tan chinos. His dark hair had grown so that she wanted to brush her fingers through it. He looked casually professional, confident and scrumptious enough to make her mouth water.