by Laura Gibson
Logan shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe go with her back to Charleston, see what comes up.”
Ethan rolled the idea around. Going to Charleston meant he could actually meet the man that messed up Rachel. Would he be able to control himself? He punched Kelly as hard as he could, what would he do to Jefferson? What would any brother do?
“I don’t know if I want to actually see Jefferson Williams.” Ethan responded slowly.
Logan was quiet, waiting for Ethan to say something more, but when he didn’t Logan sniffed.
“Listen, Ethan, I understand you’re going through a lot and I know you’re a bitter Betty or whatever. But you can’t pick and choose how you want to help Rachel. You’re either all in or you’re not.” Logan’s tone was firm. “I’m going to Charleston with or without you.”
“You don’t even know Rachel.” Ethan squinted at Logan, processing what he was saying.
“It doesn’t matter.” Logan shook his head, “It’s the right thing to do. It’s the right place to be.”
Ethan laughed, he couldn’t help himself. Why could everyone else see the right thing and he was stuck in limbo? Trying to sort out the other details. “Okay,” He said finally, “I’ll go.”
Logan nodded, “Good.”
Chapter Thirteen
Phillips Academy
Charleston, West Virginia
October 13th, 2008
Melody
Melody sat across from Jefferson, eating her breakfast thoughtfully. She wanted to believe him when he said he would be taking her away for the summer, but she also knew how Jefferson liked to spend his summers. Alone. It used to be he would let Kelly in during his times of reclusiveness and after that, Anna. But he never bothered to even try with Melody. Melody who had always loved him, even when Kelly was telling her he was unlovable. That there was something wrong with him even.
She would never believe that. Jefferson was a mystery. A tall dark mystery she didn’t mind having to work hard at figuring out. He was wonderful and beautiful and perfect.
Kelly and Jefferson may have had their differences, but she knew Jefferson and she knew he didn’t have any hand in Anna’s death. Anna was a junkie, she killed herself. It was just that simple. It wasn’t fair of Kelly to blame his best friend and it was even worse when he himself opted for drugs rather than trying to make the situation better.
Melody sighed, now Kelly was back and everything was fucked again. All those old wounds were resurfacing and people were returning to old habits.
Melody looked at Jefferson and felt like talking about Kelly and Rachel’s budding friendship. They apparently had lunch the other day, just the two of them and no one was happy with it. Except for Rachel and Kelly. They were happy as two little clams could be.
Melody rolled her eyes and felt like gagging. Rachel didn’t know what she was dealing with. Kelly wasn’t the sort of man you could just be friends with. You either had to be best friends with him or completely in love with him. There wasn’t a middle ground, she would know, she had been with him long before Rachel had even entered the picture. It was Melody Kelly had always gone to when he needed comfort. It was Melody Kelly had first called when Anna died. And it was Melody Kelly showed up for, strung out on God only knew what and babbling about how Anna wasn’t even supposed to be there.
Melody felt a tiny bit of jealousy cropping up out of nowhere but she effectively squashed it back down where it belonged. She didn’t want Kelly anymore. Kelly was a creep and if Rachel knew what was good for her, she’d stay away. After Anna died Kelly broke. He wasn’t the same man everyone had known. There was black spot on his heart that had turned it to ice.
Melody instinctively shivered at the thought, trying not to bring Kelly up to Jefferson. She knew they would just fight about it again. They always fought about Kelly. Even before Kelly was talking to Rachel. But, it had gotten worse since Jefferson knew they were becoming friends.
Everything got worse when Jefferson discovered something he didn’t like. He was a hard man to please, but Melody loved him all the same. Someday she knew it would be easier. She would learn all of his triggers and all of his weak points and he would finally let her in and everything would be okay. Kelly would go away for good and everything would go back to normal, like it was supposed to be.
“I know you’re hiding something.” Jefferson’s tone was playful but Melody felt guilty all the same. She was hiding something.
In the back of her mind she always knew Jefferson liked Rachel a little bit more than he should have. That’s why he got all bent out of shape that Kelly was talking to her. Not because Kelly was a creep, but because Jefferson was jealous.
They were all jealous it seemed. One giant triangle of jealousy. Melody swallowed her eggs she had been chewing for too long. “Rachel and Kelly had lunch together earlier this week.”
Jefferson blinked twice before his lip twitched. She knew he thought he was hiding his emotions, but she had been watching him for years now. She knew all his tells. She knew every little thing about him.
“I think they’re friends.” Melody let slip. Not because she wanted to hurt him, but because she wanted to affect him in some way. Not in the same way Rachel did. But she wanted to touch him.
Ever so faintly Jefferson’s jaw clenched and he looked down at his plate. “That’s unfortunate.”
“It really is.” Melody could feel her heart breaking for the second time that week. She knew Jefferson had feelings for Rachel. She knew it and still she clung onto the hopes he would learn to love her just the same. That he would see she wanted him just the way he was.
“Did you tell Rachel Kelly is basically a degenerate?” Jefferson was scowling into his breakfast now, upset with the fact Kelly could have stolen his precious Rachel. It was bad enough Ryan was dating her, but Ryan wasn’t threatening. Ryan was a lackey. Jefferson figured if he really wanted to he could reach out and take Rachel whenever he wanted.
But not with Kelly in the picture.
Kelly was different.
“I’ve told her everything I know. It’s not my fault she’s an idiot.” Melody said, knowing she sounded spiteful. But it was all she had. If she could make Jefferson see Rachel for the fraud she was, then maybe he would move onto loving her just a little bit quicker.
“Rachel’s not an idiot.” Jefferson admonished her. Defending the girl that was fraternizing with the enemy.
“No, she really is.” Melody pushed, taking a sip of her orange juice. “Like all she cares about is school, which is fine, but she doesn’t see anything else.”
Jefferson openly rolled his eyes. “She just has different priorities than other people.”
“You’re only saying that because–” Melody stopped herself short, knowing what she was going to say and knowing it was a bad idea.
“Because?” Jefferson lifted an eyebrow, not letting her let it go.
So Melody met it head on, because he was her boyfriend after all, they should be able to talk about these sorts of things. “Because you like her.” She said it more factually than she felt it.
Jefferson’s jaw clenched again, “What would make you think that?”
“’Cuz I’m not stupid.” Melody didn’t back down. Not now. She might be afraid of the truth, but when it was out in the open she wasn’t a person to shy away from it. Fight or flight, right?
“Well that’s debatable.” Jefferson’s tone was cold.
“Wow, Jeff, harsh.” Melody was taken aback. She could feel her face twist into an angry frown, “Are you serious?”
Jefferson shook his head, getting to his feet. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“No, we’re going to talk about it!” Melody was almost yelling now, not caring who was looking at her.
What the hell just happened?
“By all means, go ahead.” Jefferson nodded at her and pushed his chair in, leaving the cafe.
Jefferson
It wasn’t that Jefferson wanted to hurt Melod
y; he just didn’t care at the moment what she thought. She had brought up a very sore subject and then proceeded to rub salt all over it, like it was her right or something. Like she was a part of everything that was happening.
She was just filler.
Jefferson felt the sigh pull tight in his chest and he exhaled, hoping it would make him feel better.
He didn’t like the idea of Kelly talking to Rachel. Those two people were the last people he wanted in the same room together. And now they were friends? Was that a thing?
Jefferson thrust his angry hands into his pockets and walked towards the main quad, the one that connected directly with the library. He knew she would be there. He had watched her enough to understand her habits.
Sure enough, there she was, walking alone, head watching her own two feet rather than the people around her.
She was perfect.
Jefferson felt himself relax and jogged up next to her, giving her his best smile. “Good morning, Rachel.”
Rachel smiled back, “Hello, Jefferson.”
Jefferson fell in step with her and shook the last of the anger out of his shoulders. “Boy, am I glad to see you.”
“Oh?” Rachel looked at him, her small lips left in a half smile, her blue eyes catching the sunlight and sparkling.
“Yeah, just heard the most disturbing thing from Melody.” He looked at his own feet, mirroring her body language.
“What was that?” She didn’t sound too concerned, mildly maybe, but not a lot. That was good. It meant she wasn’t afraid.
“She said you were friends with Kelly Hill.” Jefferson crinkled up his nose and looked at her, hoping it wasn’t true.
Rachel smiled at him, reassuring him, “Jefferson, you asked me not to talk to him, remember? How could I be friends with a person who I don’t talk to?”
And that was it. Jefferson laughed. She was telling the truth. He would know if she was lying to him, he had gotten all worked up over nothing.
Jefferson put his hand on Rachel’s elbow, stopping her, turning him to face her. “I knew you would understand.”
“Of course I understand, Jefferson, we’re friends.” Rachel was still giving him that peaceful, serene smile.
Jefferson bit his lower lip and then made up his mind, it was now or never. She would either reciprocate his feelings or she wouldn’t. But he wasn’t going to wait around forever.
He leaned in closer, smelling her faint perfume, taking in what it felt like to be completely in her presence.
“Rachel, I think you’re the only person who understands me.” He murmured softly in her ear before kissing her cheek, his lips just barely grazing her skin.
Agoura Hills, California
June 11th, 2010
Rachel
Rachel knew they were talking about her. It was the same question she had asked herself at the beginning of the month concerning Kelly. What were they going to do about Rachel?
Now, she wasn’t just hiding in her room from Kelly and everything she was trying to protect him from, she was hiding from the fact other people were going to find out how stupid she had been. How she thought if she just lied to Jefferson enough, if she did as she told this time around and stayed away, everything was going to be okay.
Pretty soon one of them would get up the nerve to ask her. Probably not Ethan, he was too bitter about their childhood to really trust her judgment, but maybe Logan. He was openly curious about what happened to her at Phillips and now that her roommate had turned up dead it was only a matter of time before they started looking.
Rachel pulled out the file box she kept shoved under her bed and out of sight for the past two years. Slowly, she unclasped the locks meant to keep the lid down and opened it.
They wouldn’t have to look very hard before they found something. Everything was buried only a few layers deep. Smoothed over with a soft smile and bat of her eyelashes.
But Rachel had it all. Everything she needed incase plan A hadn’t worked. Incase Jefferson hadn’t kept his word.
She had begun with recording their conversations. Normally she wouldn’t have even thought about it, but something Kelly said during one of those first few times they had met for lunch stuck with her.
“Jefferson’s not afraid of people. He will outright tell you his plan and then leave just enough doubt for everyone else to believe he didn’t do it.” Kelly’s face was solemn in the afternoon sunlight as they sat together on their bench. “He’s terrified of people thinking he’s not as smart as he thinks he is. He wants to be the mastermind, and he wants people to know it.”
Rachel didn’t push Kelly for more information about Anna, she knew it hurt him too much to really talk about it, but it always lingered. And if whatever Jefferson did to Anna might happen again, well then, maybe she could be better prepared. She could have the evidence.
Rachel slowly pulled the contents of the box out and spread it out on the floor.
Her own medical records were in there, as was the chunk of glass they pulled out of her side when they stitched her back up. An interesting collection of papers, spreadsheets, time lines, and audio recordings.
The only thing that was missing was the last conversation Rachel had ever heard between Jefferson Williams and Caleb Bronen.
Caleb had been drunk and was egging Jefferson on. In regular Jefferson style he showed Caleb just who called the shots around there.
The next morning they found Caleb’s body. It was originally ruled an accident, but Rachel knew better. Jefferson’s rage was not an accident.
Caleb wasn’t Rachel’s friend. She had seen him around campus with Ryan and Jefferson, but she didn’t know him very well, not enough to really feel the sting of his death, but enough to understand the impact. Two years after the fact, when the guilt had gotten to be too much Rachel reached into her box and pulled out the audio recording as well as a picture Melody had snapped while they were all in the old sports club. The same spot they found Caleb’s body.
Rachel sent her evidence to Charleston in hopes that they could do something about it.
And do something they did. A well-meaning Detective Rhett Samuels announced it to the world they had reopened the case. They also contacted the Williams and Prescotts, asking if they had any comment on the matter.
Then the letter came.
Then Kelly showed up and Rachel knew she had made a well-intentioned mistake.
If you wanted to keep one thing quiet, the best thing not to do was create ripples in a different part of the pond. It upsets everything. And now Rachel didn’t know how to move forward.
She couldn’t go anywhere now without knowing she’d have to finish this chapter first.
Rachel picked up the piece of glass that had almost killed her and she felt her lungs tighten in her chest. She kept these things because she knew she would need them later. It was just too hard to think about.
Melody was gone.
Caleb was gone.
Anna was gone.
And it all came back to Jefferson. Everything always came back to Jefferson.
Rachel bit her lip and stared at the papers spread out before her. How many times had she thought about everything that could damn him? How many times had she battled with her inner guilt, being torn between protecting Kelly and turning Jefferson in?
Now, she didn’t a have choice. She was going back to Charleston and she was going to face him, whatever that meant.
Rachel shivered and put everything back in its box. She sat against the wall and stared at it for a good long while before she couldn’t take the silence anymore, before she just couldn’t live with herself anymore.
Kelly
Kelly hadn’t slept in days, maybe years. He felt the weight inside his chest gnaw at him and he hoped it would just go away. He laid in the dark of the guestroom and stared at the shadows on the ceiling, hoping for absolution.
They all had made mistakes. Everyone involved had done something that lead to this point. Everyone was at f
ault here. No one was innocent.
Kelly closed his eyes and held his breath, trying to pretend it wasn’t his fault. Trying to pretend he could be the man Rachel wanted him to be. But that would never be true, would it?
In the end, Melody was right about him and Rachel should have stayed away. If she had just stopped trying to be nice to him none of this would have happened. He had still been angry, and he wanted to make Jefferson angry. He wanted to hurt the man that hurt his sister.
He never accounted for Rachel being so nice to him. It made him feel like a real person. Like someone deserving forgiveness. And everyone knew he couldn’t be farther from that concept.
At the end of the day, the only person that really knew him was Jefferson. And now they would be going back to see him. Back to where everything had started. Back to where everything fell apart.
Kelly heard soft footsteps against the carpet and he knew who they belonged to without opening his eyes.
It was just like that last night they had spent together. She was curled up next to him for comfort and he held onto her for some reason he explained away as love.
Rachel laid down on the bed next to him and he could feel her cheek against his back.
“Kelly,” she whispered, her tone finally telling him she was going to be honest with him.
“Yeah?” he whispered back, not moving.
“I’m scared,” She breathed out.
Kelly felt moisture on his shoulder and knew she had been crying. He rolled over, facing her. Kelly cupped her small face in his hands and brushed away a newer tear. “Don’t be scared.”
“What if I lose you?” Rachel asked, her heart breaking to pieces in front of him.
“You’re not gonna lose me.” Kelly pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. “I promise.”
He knew he was lying to her the moment those words left his lips but that really wasn't the first time. Kelly had no intention of returning whole from Charleston. He was going to end the war with Jefferson if it was the last thing he did. Rachel didn’t need to know that. She just needed to know he was here now. A man far greater than him would sort out her grief later.
