by Laura Gibson
Rachel looked at Kelly. “I guess.”
“Is he a good guy or a bad guy?” Logan was trying to make this into an action movie.
“He’s just Ryan.” Rachel replied, “He’s not anything.”
“Right.” Logan nodded like the two of them were sharing a secret.
“Let’s go to the Lacrosse field.” Ethan changed the subject, “I’m curious to see how many people are there.”
Rachel was glad to get the attention off of herself and her relationship with Ryan but she did not want to go to the lacrosse field. But she didn’t say anything and they slowly made their way over to the last place anyone had ever seen Melody.
As they approached Rachel felt her chest tighten and her mouth go dry. Standing as close to the police tape as he could stood Jefferson Williams, hands in the pockets of his coat, back to them.
Rachel knew she was shaking. She felt it completely, like her entire body was vibrating from fear.
Dread.
Strakh.
Chapter Eighteen
Phillips Academy
Charleston, West Virginia
October 22nd, 2008
Rachel
At the western edge of Phillips’ campus there sat a rather large building. Built with a strong red brick it had withstood the test of time. Ivy mercilessly climbed its sides and covered its windows, but it remained. It had been neglected in the remodel of Phillips fifteen years ago and now it sat, a large derelict of times long past, an old forgotten sports club only used for storage.
Connected to the sports club was a patio meant for lounging, following that path were steep stairs that lead to a decent sized track, its grass well kept by the lawn service Phillips’ employed.
This was where Rachel stood now, trying not to look at her phone. Trying not to look anxious.
Jefferson had asked Rachel to meet him here at half past four, had sent her a quick halfhearted text and then no follow up later on when she asked if anyone else was going to be there. A part of her knew that what she was doing was a bad idea, and it was a rather large part at that, but she couldn’t help herself. They were friends weren’t they? Isn’t this what friends did? They would fight but then everything would be fine later on.
Besides, Rachel tried to reason away her well-placed fear. It wasn’t like there was any lasting damage. No one had even really cared.
Rachel swallowed and shifted on nervous feet, even with all of her naive logic she couldn’t help but notice the deserted track laid out before her, just twenty feet down steep cement steps.
She nudged a rock off the edge and watched it go tumbling to the ground, just a few steps away from the very bottom.
Plenty of people had complained about the steps as of late. They were cracked and the corners were crumbling, some said that the steps themselves were too steep and most just avoided the old track, preferring the indoor track that was suspended above the basketball court.
The autumn wind that promised an early winter chilled her to the core, but it wasn’t nearly as harsh as the chill that gripped her spine when she heard Jefferson call out her name.
She turned to see him coming towards her, one hand in the pocket of his pressed dress pants, the other holding onto his glass award that he received last year as the lacrosse team’s MVP.
“You wanted to talk?” She licked her lips hoping he had had a chance to cool down from earlier that week.
Rachel had never gotten around to reporting the threat like she had told Elizabeth that she would, and now, looking at the grim face of Jefferson Williams, she couldn’t help but think that she might have made the wrong choice.
“You know, they’re not going to let me play lacrosse next semester.” Jefferson said with a shrug, “I guess they thought that was fair.”
Rachel felt a stab of guilt for her friend but wanted to stand her moral ground still. She may have made a poor decision in reporting him, but she had been right when she turned Jefferson in for cheating. For letting practically half the graduating class to cheat.
“Well, you know they’re just trying to send a message.” Rachel managed to get out before another gust of cold wind stole her breath.
Jefferson looked down at the trophy, his eyes a dark slate of nothingness. He looked thinner than she thought he should, his hawk like features were more pronounced in the dimming light, creating hollow contours on either side of his face.
A smile peeled his thin lips back and he looked at Rachel. No, it wasn’t a smile, it was more like sneer. A cynical, sarcastic sneer. “I should send a message too.”
Strong hands reached out and gripped the collar of Rachel’s green cardigan and Jefferson wrenched Rachel three steps closer to him, just so that she could feel his breath skitter across her skin in ragged, uneven gasps.
“I mean, it’s really only fair, isn’t it?” He had gone from placid to terrifying in an instant and Rachel wondered why she had ever thought she could trust Jefferson in the first place. There was something clearly wrong with him.
Kelly was right when he told her to stay away.
The madness curled his lips and transformed his features; he was more hawk than human now.
“Jefferson let go of me!” Rachel shouted, her tone still holding an air of warning in it, she still thought that she could walk away from this like it wasn’t going to affect her in any way.
“Why?” Jefferson’s eyes were wide now, the fire in them set ablaze by her simple, heartfelt plea. “I mean, so what? You can just go and tell Grear again? Isn’t that what you want to do?”
The fear had cooled into a ball of icy terror, and it crystallized in her veins, sending shocks throughout her body. But she knew she’d never be able to leave if Jefferson didn’t let her go. He had to let her go.
“I won’t tell anyone, Jeff.” She half whispered, “We can forget about this and move on.”
Jefferson’s teeth ground together in his mouth and his sneer turned into a scowl. “You see this?” He was holding up his glass award now. “Look at it!” He shouted, drops of his saliva peppering Rachel’s face.
Rachel did as she was told and really looked at it. His name was etched in the glass. So were the season’s year and the team name. Phillips’ school insignia was frosted on the middle of it and Rachel saw now why Jefferson was carrying it with him. It was all he had left.
They had taken lacrosse from him as a punishment and he didn’t like it. So he had to blame someone. His anger had to fit somewhere.
Rachel swallowed, “Let’s go home, Jeff.” She was shaking now, completely free of her own will, she felt her body trembling with its fear of Jefferson Williams. “Let go of me and we can go home.”
Jefferson's eyes surveyed Rachel for a second as if he was considering the idea, as if it could really be just that easy.
“That’s not how life works, Rachel.” Jefferson looked down at the trophy in his hand and then in one fluid motion he flung it down the stairs.
Rachel didn’t dare look away from Jefferson, but a part of her cringed when she heard it shatter on the cement below.
“Once you lose something, it's gone. Get me?” Jefferson’s voice was lower now, the madness draining from it, as if he had finally made up his mind.
“It’s gonna be okay, Jeff, there’ll be more awards, more lacrosse games…” Her voice trailed off as Jefferson started to chuckle.
“You still don’t get it!” He was shouting again, shouting as if that was really going to get his point across. “This is it, Rachel! This is all I have time for!”
“Time?” Rachel felt confusion clouding her judgment.
“Well.” Jefferson croaked out of a dry throat that was torn from his shouting, “And this.”
The hand that had held her so fast before was now pushing her away, propelling her into the unknown.
The fall hurt more than Rachel would ever admit to anyone. The cement scraped her white skin and left rash-like marks on her flesh, something cracked on her left side and Rachel
couldn’t stop the fall.
At the last moment, instinctively Rachel was able to put a palm out and catch herself before her head struck the bottom, but that saving grace was of no use when it came to the cool feeling of glass slipping up under her ribcage.
A visual of the award flashed before her eyes and Rachel let out a cry that sounded more like a whimper, cold and distant.
Rachel closed her eyes, but not from the haze that had seemed to overcome her, she did it only to gather more strength, only to grab a handful of dirt in her pale white hand.
She felt the earth make its way under her fingernails she imagined that she’d have quite the ruined manicure later on. This thought would have brought on a fit of laughter if the blood pooling under her stomach wasn’t so damn sobering.
With all the will she had left in her body Rachel managed to roll over, eliciting another cry. Another thing to let her know that her body was failing her.
She thought of all the different ways she could make her way back up the stairs, back to civilization, back to someone who gave a damn about her, but she couldn’t really think past the pain.
No one would really be looking for her anyways. Phillips was her home, but her family was very far away. They probably wouldn’t even know for the next couple of days.
“Are you alright?” Someone was running towards her now, and Rachel turned her head to look in their direction, hoping they wouldn’t think she had done this to herself. Hoping they wouldn’t think she was clumsy enough to do something so dumb.
“Hey!” They were shouting again, this time at something else. Someone else? The voice had changed from concern to accusation in the span of a second and Rachel wondered if Jefferson was still up there, looking down at her.
Rachel swallowed and tried to concentrate on the figure running towards her, but it was just a wasted effort.
Her vision swam and her mind filled with thoughts of the days that had passed by without her saying so much as a word to anyone about what kind of man he could turn into.
They had all told her to do something about it. Everyone. So then, why was Rachel lying there at the foot of the stairs leading to the old track field, a chunk of a glass lacrosse trophy splitting open her insides? If everyone had already known this, why was she even here at all?
The person reached her and kneeled, their hands lingering over her broken body, as if trying to assess the situation.
Rachel saw that blood was soaking into the fabric of his jeans. Was that her blood?
“It’s gonna be alright, Rachel.” He whispered as strong arms, tender arms, lifted her up and held her close to his chest, “Everything’s gonna be okay now.”
Rachel felt her eyes closing but she willed them open long enough to see her savior. Long enough to get a good look at the clean shaven face of a one Kelly Hill.
He looked so young when he was worried, she could almost laugh at him. Didn’t he know that everything was going to be just fine?
Rachel felt her eyes close as her cheek fell against Kelly’s chest, whatever was going to happen next was going to happen and there was nothing she could do to stop it. But right then and there, she felt fine.
Phillips Academy
Charleston, West Virginia
June 15th, 2010
Rachel
Rachel could feel the air sticking in her lungs like wet pieces of tissue paper. She wanted to exhale and her legs wanted to run, but there was nowhere for her to go. Behind stood the empty expanse of cowardice and before her stood the creature that had effectively ruined her life.
In one fell swoop, Jefferson had come into her life and blackened it with his empty soul, and now he was standing in front of her like none of it mattered. Like he hadn’t murdered two people and left another two to fend for themselves in the aftermath.
Somewhere behind her Kelly was taking point. Protecting her from having to say the first word.
He stepped forward and stood next to Jefferson, their lean backs facing the other three.
Kelly’s hands were in his pockets, his stance mirroring Jefferson’s. For a second Rachel could see why they had been friends. They were shaped the same. Cut from the same thin man’s cloth. Two men who looked like they never left each other's side.
“I was wondering when you’d show up.” Rachel could hear the smile in Jefferson’s voice as he spoke. “Can’t keep a good man, down, can they, Kelly?”
“I’m here for Rachel.” Kelly was trying to sound polite, but Rachel knew that was just a skip and a hop away from all out anarchy.
“Me too.” Ethan sounded more cross, like they were going to stick it to Jefferson right then and there.
Jefferson turned around, his vulture-like smile spread across an open mouth, “And you must be Ethan Gunn, the brother.”
He stuck out his hand in greeting, “I’ve been waiting to meet you for quite some time.”
Ethan looked suspicious, but more willing to cooperate than he sounded, “And you are?”
“Of course.” Jefferson was still smiling, his facade never faltering, “I’m Jefferson Williams.”
Jefferson looked at Logan and his eyes flinched a little, he wasn’t expecting a fourth member of the group, that wasn’t a part of the plan.
Rachel felt herself smiling. Like the cracks in Rachel, there were also cracks in Jefferson. Cracks that she could use and exploit. Cracks that could destroy him.
Check.
“And you are?” He leaned forward, waiting for Logan to give away his name. Waiting for Logan to give him anything.
“Logan M. Logen.” Logan answered, ignoring Jefferson’s outstretched hand. Logan turned to Rachel, “What times your meeting with Grear?”
Rachel couldn’t help but revel in the fact that someone was being openly rude to Jefferson. Everyone always seemed to walk on eggshells around the legacy; she had never seen anyone rebuff him as artfully as Logan had. Maybe there was more to him than Rachel had originally given him credit for.
“It’s at two.” Rachel answered, never looking at Jefferson outright. She felt stronger with the three of them with her, but it was still Jefferson and she was still very much aware of what that meant.
“Your first name is your last name?” Jefferson was trying to put the focus back on him. He always had to be the center of attention. It was the only way he survived.
“They’re spelled different.” Logan blinked at him as if this was perfectly natural.
“Is it a family name?” Jefferson tried again. He knew nothing about this new creature in front of him and now he had to get as much information out of him as he could before they found a way to use it against him.
“No.” Logan blinked again before looking back at Rachel, “You said there was food?”
“Yeah, I think they’re getting ready to open the cafe right now if you want to head over.” She pointed with her thumb behind her.
Finally, Jefferson relented, seeing that he wasn’t going to get anything out of Logan he looked back to Kelly, “How was Hartford?”
“You should know.” Kelly’s tone was cold.
Jefferson’s smile returned, “Yeah, I heard they don’t like repeat offenders over there in Connecticut. That had to have been rough, going to the same classes that did nothing for Anna.”
“It was okay.” Kelly’s voice was fighting hard to remain steady and Rachel could see his anger boiling just below the surface. Jefferson could see it as well.
“And how did you fare this time around? Well? Or should we be looking for needles? Do you think it really stuck? It didn’t stick for Anna.” Jefferson was becoming bolder as he pushed Kelly’s buttons.
“Hey man, don’t be a prick.” Ethan stepped in, his face frowning. “Now I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, but you need to back off right now.”
Jefferson’s smile widened. He looked at Rachel. “I’m glad you could make it. I was really looking forward to seeing you.”
“I was hoping you had died.” Rachel s
hrugged. “I guess we can’t all get what we want.”
She wasn’t surprised about the words that fell out of her mouth, she just had hoped that she could have come up with something a little bit more clever for the first thing she said to him. But it was honest and it would do. She wasn’t going to be playing his game this time around. This wasn’t Jefferson’s chess match anymore. This was a new game and suddenly the fear in her stomach had stopped bothering her so much. There was nothing Jefferson could do that he hadn’t already done.
Rachel had left Phillips to protect Kelly and now she was back with Kelly in tow, meaning that everything she had done was a waste before. She had to start over from square one. But she had Ethan and Logan this time around.
She could beat Jefferson. She could win.
For a second Rachel looked at Jefferson and considered telling him that, then a split second connection with Kelly’s eyes stopped her. It wasn’t just Jefferson she needed to beat. He was just a symptom of the underlying sickness.
Her eyes went from Kelly to Ethan and Logan. They were in over their heads and Rachel had almost forgotten.
That morning she had awoken completely aware of what was happening, but at the first sign of camaraderie she had forgotten that there was more at work here than just a spoiled rich kid playing God.
Posledstviya.
“Come on, Rachel.” Jefferson chided her, “Let’s be friends.”
Rachel inhaled once and did not exhale. She held the breath, counting the different times that Jefferson had tried to kill her. “I’ll see you around, Jeff.” She stepped around him and stood next to Kelly who was still upset at the jibes towards his sister.
Slowly, she took his hand and led him to the lacrosse field, away from Jefferson and everything else that didn’t matter.
Rachel could hear Logan and Ethan talking while Jefferson walked away but she didn’t let go of Kelly’s hand. He needed someone to protect him.
She felt guilty for asking him to come back with her. It was selfish and Jefferson was cruel. This was going to be hard for a good man like Kelly. Everyone else had their secrets and had dabbled in psychological warfare, but not Kelly. Never Kelly. He was too honest for any of that.
