by Laura Gibson
Rachel shook her head, “I’m not going to blame Jefferson’s actions on Kelly.” She gritted her teeth, “That’s not right. That’s not okay.”
“Seriously, Rachel, you weren’t there, you don’t know what happened.” Melody persisted.
“Then tell me!” Rachel shouted, “Dear lord! Why will no one tell me what the hell happened between everyone? Why is it such a big secret? Everyone wants to warn me and control me, but no one wants to be honest with me!”
Melody shook her head back and forth, “You wouldn’t get it. You just, you wouldn’t get it.”
“Fine.” Rachel grabbed her coat from the hook on the wall and wrenched open the door, “But I’m going to tell the world. I have proof that Jefferson killed Caleb and I’m going to tell everyone what happened.”
Rachel was halfway to the library before she realized where she was headed. The library was her safe haven, her place of refuge in the dark.
When she got there she sat down at an empty table and texted Kelly.
‘We need to talk.’
He didn’t respond.
Rachel closed her eyes and sent him another text.
‘I’m at the library; I’ll wait for you to get here.’
Hours passed by without a response and finally, Rachel gave up hope and decided that she was going to brave the dorm room once more, wondering if Melody was still going to be there, crying about how no one would understand.
Rachel walked out of the library and saw that the sun had set long ago.
She shifted her books in her arms and cleared her throat, instinctively wanting to check the watch on her wrist, but knowing that it was too late to even be out. She was safe during the day. Night was a different story.
The sidewalks were empty and the lamps that lit them glowed dimly, as if all the bulbs needed changing. She couldn’t see far past a few feet in front of her and she wished for the second time that night that she had listened to Melody and just left well enough alone.
Rachel swallowed the impulsive fear that kicked in whenever she was alone in the dark and tried to walk as steadily as she could to her building near the end.
The library was at the heart of the campus, and all roads lead to it. It was always open and almost always in use by one student or another, but this night Rachel had stayed in it far too long for her own good and she knew it.
Her need to relax, to calm herself down after everything that had happened that week was stronger than her knowledge of just what might happen to her if she was found out in the dark. Alone.
Half way down the path and Rachel became very much aware of the fact that someone was behind her.
Probably just another student, but she couldn’t be too careful. Jefferson had threatened them all at the sports club and she had told Melody that she was going to do something about it.
Rachel knew she shouldn’t have trusted Melody with the secret, but she thought maybe Melody was coming around to her side.
Now, the steps behind her quickened their pace and she felt her heart quicken with them. A rough hand gripped her bicep and pulled her backwards, causing her books to spill to the ground.
Rachel turned, trying to wrench out of the strong grasp but couldn’t.
Her fingers encircled around the pen she had stuck in her ear and held onto it tightly.
“Did you really think he could protect you?” Jefferson snarled, “He’s sitting over at the Prescotts right now, pretending like he’s never heard the name Rachel Gunn. And you wanna why? Because at the end of the day, Kelly knows what’s good for him and he’s not going to stick his neck out for anybody. Especially not you.”
He was dragging her off the path now and towards the trees that surrounded Phillips on all sides.
“Let go of me, Jeff.” Rachel’s voice was hard and firm. She wasn’t going to let her fear get the better of her; she just wasn’t that type of girl.
She would not go screaming and mewling into the night.
Rachel’s weakness did not reside in how she controlled her own actions, but more or less in her sense of morality, as that was what had now gotten her into this mess. Her control was the only strength she had left.
Jefferson let out a strange laugh, one that made Rachel think he was having second thoughts, but his pride was getting too much in the way for him to see that he was making a huge mistake.
A mistake that he wouldn’t be able to recover from.
He threw Rachel hard against the trunk of a tree and she coughed as it pushed the air from her lungs.
“I mean, it only makes sense, doesn’t it?” His right hand held her jaw tight, squeezing it in his anger. “That it would be you that would bring it all down; you never did wear jealously well.”
“I didn’t do it out of jealously, Jeff.” Rachel spoke through a clenched jaw, past the fingers that felt as if they might crush her cheekbones.
“No?” Jefferson sneered, and his eyes seemed to glow in the dark, staring at her, a malicious glint in them that chilled Rachel to the core. “That’s not what Melody says.”
“But it’s alright. We’re gonna make this right tonight. Just like Kelly should have done a while ago. Can't trust anyone these days.”
Rachel felt Jefferson’s left hand push against her side and tug at the new scar from a fall that wasn’t really a fall.
Rachel still held the pen in her hand and she swallowed, bracing herself before she plunged it into his shoulder, pushing as hard as she could, her right foot pushed off from the tree, using her weight to embed the writing utensil further into his body.
He reeled backwards just far enough for Rachel to get away so she could run.
As fast as she could, she made for the headmistress's house, knowing that the older woman would still be awake.
But Jefferson was on her in a second. She could smell his sweat, blood and fear as he tackled her, bringing her to the ground.
“You just don’t get it, do you, Rachel? I tried to save you!” Jefferson was shouting now. “I tried to help you!”
He roughly pulled Rachel to her feet and led her through the woods while she fought against his grasp. “Now look what you’ve made me do!”
They reached a utility road in the middle of the woods and Rachel saw a car parked off to the side.
Jefferson opened a car door and pushed Rachel inside next to Melody whose face looked like it had been badly bruised. “You couldn't just stay away.”
He shook his head and got into the driver’s seat, turning the key over in the ignition, bringing the car to life.
Phillips Academy
Charleston, West Virginia
June 16th, 2010
Kelly
Kelly sat behind the library on a bench, his hands hanging between his knees, waiting for Jefferson to meet him.
They used to be best friends, the closest of close friends, but Anna changed that. Alice changed that.
He felt the heaviness of the gun strapped to his lower back and knew whatever happened today, only one of them would be walking away from this. And he had to protect Rachel. Had to save her.
He listened to her speech and had to chuckle to himself a little bit. Rue and fennel. Regret and adultery. Very poetic. Then the daisies, of course, unhappy love. No matter how she tried to deny it Rachel had a flair for the dramatics.
Finally Jefferson came around the corner and Kelly looked up at him, his oldest and dearest friend.
“Jeff.”
“Kell.”
“I gotta tell ya, this sure is an elaborate plan.” Kelly nodded at all the fanfare happening on the other side of the library.
“Well, you know Casimir, he always liked a party.” Jefferson shrugged. “I guess it’s his punishment for us. For not taking care of other loose ends.”
Kelly nodded, “Sounds like him.”
“So you’ve come around then?” Jefferson took a step forward, “After everything that’s happened?”
Kelly took a deep breath in and stood up. “In a m
anner of speaking.” Kelly’s hand pulled the gun out from behind his back and he pointed it at Jefferson. “If you die then Rachel won’t have to.”
Jefferson glared at Kelly, “You know that’s not true, you can’t spin that lie around here, Kell.”
Kelly shrugged, “Maybe, but I know that you’re the one that’s always done Casimir’s dirty work for him, so I know without a doubt what he’d told you to do now.”
Jefferson sneered, “And now you're the paragon of goodness? You’re gonna shoot? You’re going to go to jail and just let some other guy take care of Rachel? Wouldn’t you rather have it be a friend?”
Kelly swallowed and hardened his jaw, “If you so much as touch Rachel, so help me God, I will kill you.”
Rachel
As Rachel took her seat with Ethan, he handed her a note.
Rachel’s fingers trembled as she began to unfold it, knowing that it wouldn’t contain any good news. Praying to God that it wasn’t another part of Jefferson’s game.
Rachel,
I hope that by the time you read this it will be too late for you to save me. Because that means that I managed to save you.
I can’t live with the facts of any of it anymore. I can’t pretend that all of this is okay while we all step on eggshells around the jackals who threaten to harm us. Who threaten to harm you.
They never wanted you, Rachel. They don’t even care about you. But they know that I care about you and that’s how they’re going to use you. So I’m going to remove myself from the equation.
Because you deserve a happy life, Rachel, and I’m sorry that I ever spoke to you.
I only did it because I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. The beautiful and enticing Rachel Gunn that had managed to catch Jefferson’s eye. I only did it because I hoped it would stop you from ending up like Anna.
I love you, Rachel Gunn.
I only hope that you can trust that.
- Kelly
Rachel looked at Ethan. “Where is he?” she hissed, her fear rising in her gut. Everything she was doing was to protect Kelly, now he was going to go and get himself killed to save her. How ridiculous. How stupidly ridiculous.
Ethan shrugged and shook his head. “I don’t know. That was just there this morning taped to your door.”
“And you waited till now to give it to me?” Rachel raised her eyebrows, “Why?”
“You weren’t speaking to me!” Ethan hissed back. “You dumped all this information in my lap and then stopped speaking to me! I was hoping we could talk about it together.”
“Ethan! This is important.” Rachel was shaking the letter at him. “Kelly is going to die.”
Ethan looked at Rachel and the anger in his eyes subsided. “So what do we do?”
“We have to find him.” Rachel whispered. “Hopefully we can stop him from doing anything too stupid.”
At that precise moment, a shot rang off. Then Ryan was running and people were following him.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Phillips Academy
Charleston, West Virginia
December 12th
Rachel
Rachel looked from Melody’s gagged mouth and bound hands to Jefferson at the steering wheel.
“What do you think you’re going to do, Jeff? Drive us out somewhere and murder us?” Rachel was shouting.
“That’s not up to me anymore, Rachel.” Jefferson snarled back.
He put the car into drive at the same time a figure came running out of the woods towards the car.
Kelly yanked the car door open and grabbed Jefferson by the shirt collar pulling him from the car, forcing him to the ground.
Rachel took that time to ungag Melody and untie her hands.
“Thank you.” Melody breathed out, “Oh God, Rachel, I’m so sorry.”
Rachel looked at Melody and then went to Kelly’s aid, although he didn’t look like he needed any.
He had Jefferson pinned to the ground and had slammed his fist into Jefferson’s face as many times as it took to make his knuckles bloody. For a second, as if to catch his breath, Kelly sat atop Jefferson and looked down at him.
“I told you not to hurt her.” Kelly was seething with a rage that Rachel hadn’t seen yet. “I told you to stay away from her.”
“Explain that to Casimir.” Jefferson coughed out, blood trickling out of his nose and peppering the cold earth beneath him.
“Casimir has nothing to do with this.” Kelly growled. “This is between you and me and you know it.”
And then Kelly had a gun and he was pressing it against Jefferson’s forehead, “Try something like this again and I will kill you.”
“Girls.” Kelly called over his shoulder, never taking his eyes off of Jefferson, “Get back in the car.”
Rachel and Melody did as they were told. Whether from fear or something else, they got back into the car they had just escaped from.
Melody was crying in the backseat, but Rachel found solace in the passenger seat, feeling like something was settled finally. She finally knew what side she belonged on.
After a couple of minutes Kelly got into the car and began to slowly drive away.
Rachel looked at the rear view mirror and saw Jefferson still lying on the ground, breathing steadily, but not moving.
“Is he going to be alright?” Melody asked, also looking at Jefferson.
“I hope not.” Rachel whispered, feeling her hatred for him solidify in her core.
Kelly walked the girls back to their dorm room and Rachel looked at him in the light.
His green eyes were flashing with a brilliance that made her feel uneasy and safe all at the same time. He was a walking contradiction to Rachel and she was glad for it. She had never felt closer to anyone else.
“Will you stay?” Rachel asked, leaning against the doorframe, hoping that he would say yes.
“For a little while.” Kelly said with a nod.
Rachel led him into the room and sat down on her bed. Melody was lying on her own bed with her back to them, but Rachel knew she was still awake. They would talk about what happened in the morning, but for right now everyone just needed to pause.
Kelly sat at her writing desk and looked at all of her little odds and ends that littered it. “Things are going to be different now.” He said low. “People aren’t going to forget about this.”
“Who’s Casimir?” Rachel asked quietly, hoping for the first time someone would tell her the truth.
“The devil.” Melody murmured from her spot across the room.
Rachel looked at Kelly to see if he would confirm or deny what she said. But he just looked away. “You should get some sleep, Rachel.”
Rachel lay down but she stayed awake for as long as she could, afraid that when she woke up Kelly would be gone.
When her eyes finally opened back up the room was empty except for her, both Kelly and Melody were gone and she wondered if they were together.
Her eyes fell to her writing desk and she saw a letter sitting there, her name scrawled in unfamiliar penmanship.
Slowly, Rachel unfolded the letter and sat back down on her bed, reading the threats it contained.
Dearest Rachel,
I'll give you one more chance because Kelly loves you. Leave now and never look back. Or you'll die knowing what follows will have been your fault.
The letter was unsigned and Rachel wasn't sure who left it there, but she knew it wasn't an empty threat. It felt more solid than most things had in her life.
Jefferson was right. Everyone was right. If she would have just left it all alone, none of this would have happened.
So Rachel came up with the only logical thing she could think of. She was going to remove herself from the equation. Leave Phillips and never come back. She was going to keep her mouth shut and pray that it would save Kelly’s life.
A few hours later Rachel sat in the headmistress's office, waiting for the older woman to hand down her sentence. Her punishment for her sile
nce.
She had always feared and admired this office all at the same time.
It was more put together than most teachers’ places of work. Everything was meticulously kept in order, from the three large bookshelves, fully lined, the blinds, always drawn, the blades turned slightly upwards, letting in minimal lighting.
Rachel could find neither dust nor dirt in any of her observations of the office thus far and so she believed that the Headmistress enjoyed presentation as much as she did.
However, this similarity would not spare her and Rachel knew it.
She had reacted out of fear and poor judgment, that’s what Grear had said when she found out about the altercation in the woods, knowing nothing of Kelly’s part in it. Knowing nothing of the real reasons as to why Rachel felt like she had to fight for her life.
There was no real reason to stab Jefferson in the shoulder, but that was a fact that was only uncovered in the brilliant, yet guilt ridden power of hindsight.
The ticking of the grandfather clock behind the large cherry wood desk managed to distract Rachel just enough to get her mind off the fact that she didn’t deserve what was about to happen. Because, she told herself, in the long run, the reward would be better, a bigger pay off. This way Kelly would stay safe.
This way, Jefferson would get what he wanted and everyone would be okay.
Everything was cleaned up and pushed under the rug, in true Phillips style. Now, all they had to do was deal with Rachel.
Rachel who had just recently stabbed a fellow student in the shoulder with a pen, unprovoked.
Rachel who had never done anything wrong and who had always had represented Phillips in the best of lights.
No one wanted to talk about it at all. No one was pressing charges. As long as Rachel went somewhere else. As long as Jefferson was allowed to end out the year in peace, quietly finishing his studies and speaking not one word of anything to anyone.
Rachel tilted her head to the side and stared at the clock, it read half past one in the afternoon, but her gold watch said three minutes till. One of them was wrong and Rachel had a feeling that it wasn’t her.
