Soldier from Heaven (9781629021911)

by Thomann, Christine

  I embraced him to calm him down.

  “Mrs. Schultz, physical fighting is an immediate suspension. It’s clear that your son started the altercation.”

  “Mrs. Kan, our family has been through a very traumatic event this summer. Now I’m not excusing what Jacob did. He certainly shouldn’t have reacted with a fight. But you have to understand where he’s coming from as a child. He was coping very well with his father’s death towards the end of summer, but it was clear yesterday morning that he wasn’t quite ready to face school. It’s like a new part of his life to deal with without his father. Yesterday, he was feeling so sad and freakish. He left school with a father and is returning without one. Our whole family dynamic has changed drastically. When the boy wouldn’t walk away, I can understand that my son didn’t know how else to respond. He was already feeling different, and then the boy called him a nut. There’s so much you don’t understand about what he’s going through.”

  “I see that. But we cannot tolerate this type of reaction. Has he seen anyone to help him with his emotions?”

  “No, but I don’t think that’s a bad idea.”

  “Mom, I don’t need to see anyone,” he snapped.

  “Jacob, you are dealing with a lot, and clearly you aren’t able to handle these situations yet. It’s okay to talk to someone.”

  “I promise I’ll keep talking to you, Mom. I won’t do that anymore, I promise.”

  “Look, Mrs. Kan. I respect your policy on fighting and suspension, and I agree with it. But I’m sure not all situations are like this. Jacob is not a trouble maker, and this isn’t like him. You can see that he’s sorry about it and knows it wasn’t appropriate. The way to get him over this hump isn’t to take him out of school. He needs to keep facing the hard stuff and get through it. How about he apologizes to the boy in your office and explains himself. Maybe you can help the other boy understand. I promise we will deal with this as a family. Jacob has a lot of support, and if it isn’t enough I’ll find someone we can all talk to as a family. Please, Mrs. Kan, you can’t begin to imagine what he’s going through.”

  “Okay, Mrs. Schultz. Jacob has always been a great student, and I can certainly understand this difficult time. We have a guidance counselor here, and he does make time for group sessions and individual counseling. If you or Jacob ever want to speak with him, just let us know. I’ll give Jacob a lunch detention tomorrow with the boy. We’ll talk about it together, and I’ll bring in Mr. Back, the counselor, to guide the conversation. Does that sound fair to you, Jacob?”

  “I guess.”

  “Good. Why don’t you take Jacob home early today so he can calm down some, and you can talk to him more about this? I truly am sorry for your family’s loss. I hope you know that I’m thankful for your husband’s service and sacrifice.”

  “Thank you. Let’s go, Jacob.”

  The weather was simply gorgeous with a gentle cool breeze blowing from the ice blue sky. The clouds were puffier and whiter than I had ever seen. The air smelled refreshing, like morning dew. Fall was certainly approaching with its crisp clean air and leaves blowing on the trees making a glorious sound. It was a wonderful day to be out jogging with Linda. It’s something we had done often in the past when the boys were in school. I would drop Mary off at my mother’s house for a few hours, and Linda and I would catch up on gossip and each other while running on the bike trail at the park. It was always peaceful as we were surrounded by the beautiful majestic palm trees that lined the trail. Even when it was hot outside, which it usually was except for the few winter-like days that came infrequently in South Florida, our minds were focused on each other. She would make her bold, brassy comments about life and people, and I would counteract the comments with justifications and a little sugar on top. I admit, I gossiped along with her but tried to do so in a way that was with concern and interest rather than pure talking behind one’s back. Face it, it’s human nature to talk about other people. People are interesting, and some of their lives are like a juicy novel that we can’t resist discussing. Linda and I were great together. We brought out the best in each other and calmed the worst in each other. That day was like the others, but on that occasion, it seemed that my life was the juicy one to talk about.

  “Isn’t this great, Catherine? The boys have been in school almost a week now and we get to do this again. How is Jacob, by the way?”

  “I’m not sure. After his first day blow out, I have to admit I was so worried. But when the office called me the next day about the fight he got into, my worry was brought to a whole new level. He’s been more reserved since then, but he still seems sad. I think I’m going to talk to Matt. Maybe he can talk to him. Pete thinks this is all normal.”

  Linda stopped running immediately after that comment and bent over with her hands on her knees.

  “Are you okay, Linda?”

  “Pete? Pete thinks what?”

  “He thinks this is…oh, yeah, Pete.”

  “Alright, Catherine. Spit it out. What are you talking about?”

  “I already told you that Pete came to me. Well, he hasn’t stopped. Whenever I need him, he’s there to help. Why do you think I’m handling this so well?”

  “You call thinking that your dead husband is coming to you well? That’s not well. Are you dreaming about him? Because that’s normal. But you must realize they are dreams, not reality.”

  “I know it sounds impossible, but it’s happening. You know I’m not crazy Linda, so don’t look at me like that.”

  Linda stared at me with a look of disbelief, concern, and disappointment. She wasn’t quite sure how to respond, but she would respond with honesty. Linda was very skeptical when it came to the supernatural. She was a very logical person and wanted everything proven. I don’t think she would ever believe me unless Pete went to her himself. No, she wouldn’t believe it unless Pete spent the week with her. But by then she would probably have committed herself concluding that she was indeed crazy, rather than trusting her own eyes.

  “See, this is why I haven’t talked to you about this before.”

  We both stopped walking when we came to a bench shaded by an oak tree.

  “You know, the day after we went to the water park, I talked to my boys about this.”

  “What?”

  “Yes, Pete told me that night that Ben calls for him every night before going to bed. He calls for Pete to—come back.”

  “Come back?”

  “Yes. I felt Jacob was ready to talk about the night that Pete died because Pete told me he visited all of us. And I wasn’t going to talk to Ben because I thought he was too young to make the connection. But Pete told me that Ben knew he came to him after he died, and that’s why he was calling him back.”

  “This is crazy, Catherine. You didn’t even talk to your boys for weeks after Pete died. How can you be sure they aren’t talking about another time?”

  “When I talked to them about it, they told me they were surprised that Daddy came back after he left for Iraq. They thought he was on a secret mission. They both said it was kind of weird the way he was talking to them, like he came to say good-bye again. And the model Ben showed me the morning after, he made with his father. It all makes sense, Linda. In the hospital Pete told me that he saw the boys. I hoped that talk with them would have helped Jacob, but he’s still sad. I know God allowed Pete to stay with me and help, but he isn’t offering much advice on this one.”

  “Alright, stop it, Catherine. You’re scaring me. You sit here and talk about it in such a matter of fact way that I can see this is your reality. This is impossible.”

  “So now not only am I crazy, but you think my boys are crazy too. We are all suffering from post traumatic ghost syndrome,” I replied with an angry sarcasm. “You know what, let’s just agree to disagree, and I won’t bother you with this anymore. Clearly, this is the o
ne thing I can’t talk to my best friend about.”

  I stood up and started to jog again. Linda followed behind me and caught up quickly.

  “No, Catherine. You can talk to me about this. But you must know how this sounds to me.”

  “Of course I do. But I really need you to believe me and support me, not fight with me and debate whether this is real or not.”

  “Okay, but can you at least go and see someone?”

  “No, Linda. I will not go to see someone. I would if I was having trouble dealing or if I thought maybe Pete was driving me crazy. But none of that is happening. Pete is real, and the boys proved it. And Pete is the one helping me deal right now. Please just accept that.”

  “Fine. If you won’t see someone, will you at least go out for a drink with me tonight? It is Friday, and I think we are overdue.”

  “Alright. I’ll see if Matt can stay with the boys and talk to Jacob tonight.”

  Chapter 10

  Single Lady

  As we walked into the bar, I was feeling both nervous and confident. That was the first time I had been out as a single lady. I still didn’t feel single though. I was a widow, not really single. And I still had my husband, although nobody knew it. But I walked in with my wedding rings on looking great. I let my long blonde hair down and gave the sides a slight wave. Pete always loved my long hair, so it was always at least as long as my mid-back. By that time, it had just reached the very bottom of my back. I wore black jeans that hugged my shape just enough to show my curves and a short-sleeved, turquoise, silky blouse with slits up the sleeve. I looked classy with a little sexy in there. So I felt confident but still a little awkward. Men immediately looked at me when I passed by them. Was I really on the market? No way. I wasn’t ready for anything like that. But I have to admit, I always liked feeling like I was still attractive enough for other men to look at. I had just turned forty-one before Pete died but was so happy I didn’t look my age.

  Linda and I took a seat at the upscale bar. The drinks were pricey, but this was the only type of bar free of young playboys. We appreciated the classiness of the place. It wasn’t like the nightclubs or hole-in-the-wall party bars that people in their twenties flocked to. This was a laid back, beautiful bar full of older, distinguished people. I guess that was my new age group.

  “What can I get you ladies?” asked the tall bartender, dressed in a black dress shirt and tie.

  “I’ll have a red sangria,” I replied.

  “And I’ll have an apple martini,” said Linda. “And please start a tab for us.”

  “Thanks, Linda, for suggesting that we go out. This is nice. It’s been a rough week with Jacob already having an issue in school. And I’m sorry about today.”

  “No, I’m sorry. I’m just concerned about you. I can see you are coping well now but hearing about Pete makes me wonder just how well you are coping.”

  “Okay, we agreed not to go there, Linda, so we will just focus on a pleasant evening,” I said as I raised my glass. “To our great friendship and always being there for each other. To honesty no matter how brutal it may be.”

  Linda raised her glass with a giggle and an eye roll then clinked my glass. “Cheers!”

  Not long after we began talking did a gentleman come over to us. He was in his mid-forties and quite attractive. He had very short blond hair and a five o’clock shadow that was a little rough yet still distinguished. He wasn’t in tip top physical shape but certainly not too out of shape to look hot. He made it a point to position himself on my right side with Linda sitting to my left. He leaned into the bar enough to speak to Linda as well, but it was clear where his interests lied.

  “May I buy you ladies a drink?”

  “No,” I began but was quickly interrupted by Linda.

  “Why of course you may, sir,” she replied with a smile. “She’ll have a red sangria and I’ll have another apple martini.”

  “You heard the lady. And I’ll have a screwdriver,” the man said to the bartender and then put out his hand for us to shake.

  “I’m Colin.”

  “I’m Catherine, and this is my friend Linda.”

  “Nice to meet you ladies.”

  “Likewise,” replied Linda with that devious smile again.

  I kind of felt like Linda was pushing a set up there. She was acting a little too excited to see a man giving me attention. Surely, she couldn’t want me to move on already.

  “I haven’t seen you ladies here before. Are you from around here?”

  Oh my, I hadn’t heard those lines in years. It was very weird for me to be sitting at a bar getting to know another man. I hadn’t done anything like that in over fifteen years. The last man, other than family or close friends, that bought me a drink as a stranger, was Pete. And he too bought me a sangria with just as much charm as Colin. I couldn’t help but to smile and continue with the conversation. I was enjoying it. I felt a little guilty, but I was enjoying the attention and found myself flirting just a little bit. The three of us talked about getting older and memories of our twenties. We had a lot of laughs, and I was having so much fun. But then I saw him. I had never seen him anywhere but my bedroom since I got back from the hospital. I leaned over and whispered to Linda as Colin ordered another round of drinks.

  “He’s here.”

  “Who’s here?”

  “Pete.”

  “Pete?” Linda began saying out loud but muffled her voice before catching Colin’s attention. Thankfully, the noise level was loud enough not to let others hear us but low enough for us to hear each other.

  “Yes, Pete. He’s right between us,” I said to Linda and then turned towards Pete to whisper. “What are you doing here?”

  “Just watching over you, honey.”

  “Don’t need you too, honey,” I whispered with sarcasm.

  “Okay, stop, Catherine,” whispered Linda. “This is weird. I don’t see him, and you are starting to look schizophrenic.”

  “Okay, I’ll just try to ignore him,” I said to Linda but focused it towards Pete.

  I loved my husband and was so happy he was still with me, but boy was that awkward. A man was hitting on me literally in front of my husband. He was dead and not supposed to be following me to bars. It was so hard to relax again, although I don’t think that was Pete’s intention. But when Colin gave us our fresh drinks and put his hand on my back I just about cringed out of my skin. I glanced over to see Pete still there looking at Colin’s hand. I tried to elbow Pete away but instead nearly fell off of the bar stool. Colin grabbed me.

  “Whoa, are you okay there? Too many sangrias?” he asked with a giggle.

  “No, no, I just kind of had an itch and tried to shake it off.”

  Linda looked at me with an oh brother kind of look. I could see on her face that she knew exactly what I had done. She also noticed the looks I kept giving to Pete that told him he needed to leave. But he remained.

  “I think it’s about time to get going. My brother-in-law must be ready to leave.”

  “Your brother-in-law? Are you married?” Colin asked with such guilty respect. And I immediately put my hand on his shoulder and jumped in as if to save him from guilt.

  “No, no, I mean yes, I mean. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. Yes, I was or am married, but I lost my husband to the war this summer. I’m a widow. Wow, I never said that before. It’s hard to process or put a label on what I am now.”

  “I’m so sorry,” replied Colin. “I’m sorry for your loss and for putting you in an awkward situation. You must be going through a lot.”

  “Yes, it’s very difficult, but I’m getting through it. I have three children, and we are dealing together.”

  “Well, I was going to ask you for your number. I would love to take you to dinner, but if it’s too weird for you I understand.�
��

  “Yeah, it is a little weird for me right now. As you can tell, I don’t even know whether to consider myself married or single. It’s just still really fresh. We had a wonderful marriage and I’m just not ready to move on.”

  “I completely understand, really. Maybe I’ll see you here again sometime. I’m sort of a regular, so don’t hesitate to come look me up if you just want to hang out.”

  “Thanks, Colin. It was very nice meeting you.”

  “Yes, nice meeting you, Colin,” added Linda.

  Once I denied giving Colin my number, Pete was gone. And after our good-byes, Linda and I walked out of the bar and headed home. A strange feeling came over me as I realized that there were several moments in the bar that I wished Pete wasn’t there. I couldn’t imagine actually having those feelings, but I did. Talking with him in our bedroom at night was wonderful. It was like our little secret world. But when he was in the bar with me, it was as if he was intruding. I never wanted to be without him before, so why now? Was it because I knew I couldn’t speak to him when we were in public, or was it because I had an interest in Colin, which wasn’t like me either? Perhaps I was finally separating him from my reality without him. I certainly wasn’t ready to give him up, but I felt ready to set up boundaries.

  Matt was watching boxing on the television when I arrived home. All of the children were asleep in their beds. Matt was a great caregiver.

  “How was your night, Catherine?”

  “Fun, but weird. A man joined Linda and me for most of the time, and it was a lot of fun. I felt guilty, but it was nice to be hit on.”

  “Well, you may be over forty but you still got it.”

  Matt seemed a little embarrassed after that comment, and I could tell he wished he hadn’t said that. When Pete was alive, he always flirted with me, telling Pete that if he had bought me a drink first I would have been his. It was always funny and very innocent. But since Pete’s death, Matt didn’t do that anymore. With Pete around, the flirting was pure innocence and of course, nothing would come of it. Nothing was intended to come of it except for fun. But with Pete gone, flirting would seem disrespectful or even worse, real. I tried to relieve him of his embarrassment.