What the Cards Said

by Isobel Bird

  The two women started to walk out of the living room. Annie darted into the kitchen so they wouldn’t see her and then ran out the back door into the yard. She wanted to get away from the house and away from her aunt. Saturday, she thought. Saturday they’re showing the house. My house. And then they would be moving to San Francisco. Just like that.

  She needed to go somewhere where she could think. The house suddenly felt too crowded, filled with too many memories and too many fears. She needed to be somewhere quiet.

  The beach, she thought suddenly. That was it. She could go to the beach. She walked around the side of the house, made sure her aunt and Marcia Reeves weren’t standing outside talking, and walked down the street to the bus stop.

  As she rode the bus through town she looked at all of the familiar places she might never see again if they moved to San Francisco. It was funny to realize how Beecher Falls had become her home without her ever really noticing it. The campus of Jasper College. The library. The beautiful Victorian houses with their bright colors and their gardens. They were things she saw every day. But as she looked at them through the bus windows, they seemed completely different, as if she’d never really looked at them before. They were the things that meant home to her, and now it appeared as if she would be leaving them behind.

  But leaving behind buildings and streets and gardens was nothing compared to leaving behind Kate and Cooper. That was the worst part of all, and she could barely stand to even think about it. They were the first real friends she’d had since her parents’ deaths. She’d had friends when they lived in San Francisco. But she had been little then, and it wasn’t the same. Since coming to Beecher Falls she hadn’t allowed herself to make friends. She’d always believed that she didn’t need any, that she was happy being by herself with her books and her experiments and her sister and aunt.

  Now she had to admit that that wasn’t true. She did need friends. Since meeting Cooper and Kate, she’d changed. It wasn’t just her hair or her glasses or her makeup. Something had changed inside. She now knew what it was like to have people like her for who she was, people who liked her even when she did things that were pretty stupid or when she wasn’t as nice as she could be. That made her feel better than any science experiment could, better than reading even the best book could.

  Thinking about losing Kate and Cooper, she felt the old sadness return to her, the sadness that had filled her after her parents died. She’d been angry at them, angry because they left her and Meg and went away without them. Because of that she’d closed herself off from other people. She didn’t let people get too close because she was terrified that, like her parents, they would leave her too, and she would be alone again.

  She tried to shut off her thoughts, but it was impossible. All she could think about were the nights she and her friends had spent in her room, talking or doing rituals together. She thought about the first time Kate had talked to her, and how she had pretended to not care but was really secretly thrilled when she realized that Kate had an interest in witchcraft, too. She recalled standing on the beach during their first real ritual, feeling the sea breeze and the heat of the fire. She remembered the first time they set foot in Crones’ Circle, looking for information. All of these things had happened in only a few months, but they had changed her life forever and shown her a part of herself she’d never known existed.

  She was startled out of her thoughts as the bus came to a stop at the wharf in town. She got off and walked quickly to the set of long wooden stairs that led to the beach. There were people walking along and enjoying the afternoon sun, and the sounds of barking dogs and laughing children greeted her as she reached the bottom.

  But she didn’t want to be surrounded by those things. She wanted quiet. So she walked along the shore until she reached the end of the beach and came to the line of boulders that separated the main beach from a smaller, more secluded one. As she climbed over the rocks, she hoped that no one else had gotten the same idea and gone in there for privacy.

  Luckily, the little cove was empty, and the only sounds came from the gulls that circled overhead looking for food and the waves that lapped gently on the beach. Annie put her pack down on the ground next to a rock and slipped her shoes off. The sand felt wonderful under her feet, its warmth reminding her of summer and sunshine and long days spent doing absolutely nothing.

  She walked down to the edge of the ocean and let the waves splash across her toes. The coldness of the water made her think of the Beltane ritual they’d gone to back in May. They’d all plunged into the ocean, and she still shivered when she thought about how thrilling it was to be surrounded by the frigid touch of the sea for a moment and then to run back to the Beltane fire to get warm.

  Would she ever do that again? Would she ever get to attend another ritual like that one? She was sure there must be pagans and witches in San Francisco, but they wouldn’t be her pagans and witches. She felt very close to the members of the Coven of the Green Wood and to the women who ran Crones’ Circle. She supposed that in the back of her mind she’d even been thinking that maybe she would join one coven or the other when her year and a day of study was over. But she couldn’t do that if she wasn’t there.

  The waves came again, slipping over her feet, and she realized that there was something in the sand beside her. Bending down, she picked up a round white shell. It was a sand dollar, flat and almost perfectly round. In the center the familiar five oblong holes appeared, forming a star shape. Her father had given her a shell like that once. He’d called it a moon shell, and Annie had laughed because it really did look like a big full moon.

  She walked back to the rocks, holding the shell in her hand. Sitting down with her back to the rocks, she looked out at the water and thought about everything that had happened to her over the past few weeks. Ever since she’d drawn the Moon card in class, her life had turned upside down. She remembered what Archer had told her about the card, that it represented hidden fears and things being drawn out into the open.

  That’s what had been happening to her, she realized. She’d been discovering things about herself that were difficult to look at, things that she wasn’t entirely proud of, like the fact that she was willing to use her abilities to try to gain popularity, or that she had almost badly hurt a friend because she’d been thinking only of herself. The situation with her aunt’s selling the house had made Annie see how much she needed her friends and the community they had created. All of these things had been brought out into the open because of her experiences with the Tarot, and now she was being forced to look at them and be honest about them.

  Then there was Hecate. She had come to Annie in that first meditation, telling her to be careful how she used the cards. Annie hadn’t listened, and Hecate had come again, this time warning her. What was it she’d said? Annie tried hard to remember her words. Then they came to her—Hecate had told her that she was venturing into the darkness. Well, that had certainly been right. She felt as if she’d been stumbling around in the dark with no one to guide her for a while. There was no clear path and no way to see where she should go or what she should do.

  But Hecate also said that there was light in the darkness, Annie thought. She said to look for it and it would lead me out. Was this another kind of test? Was that her challenge, to find the way out of the mess she’d created around her? She was sure that it was. But she still didn’t have any answers about how she was going to do it. Helping find Sasha and apologizing to her was one step. She was pretty sure of that. But once more she was at a crossroads, and she didn’t know which way to turn.

  She sat on the beach for a long time, watching the skies turn from blue to purple to black as the sun went down. But no moon came along to replace it. The sky was smooth and clear, with stars blinking against the velvet backdrop. Annie thought back to the last time there had been a full moon. It had been on the night of her first Moon card meditation, the night she had first seen Hecate. That had been about two weeks ago, which
meant that now was the time of the new moon.

  A time of new beginnings, Annie thought. She loved the new moon almost as much as the full moon. Many witches, she knew, began important spells on the new moon, spells that were meant to work as the moon came to fullness. It was a time for letting go of the past and looking ahead to what was to come.

  But what was to come? She had no idea. She, Kate, and Cooper had done their first real spell on that same beach underneath a full moon. When it had worked, Annie knew that she had found something special, something that was going to be an important part of her life forever. But sitting there now, with the moon gone and Cooper and Kate somewhere else, she wasn’t at all confident. She didn’t know any spells to cast or rituals to do that would help her right now. All she knew was that she was feeling very lonely, despite everything she’d learned.

  She decided to go home. There was nothing more to be accomplished by sitting on the beach. She stood up, dusting the sand off her pants, and picked up her backpack. She tucked the sand dollar into her pocket and made her way over the rocks to the main beach and the stairs.

  As she waited for the bus, she found herself wondering once more why she had not been able to see Hecate again in a meditation. It seemed odd to her that the goddess would appear to her several times and then just disappear, leaving her wondering what to do next.

  The bus came, and she got on. It was surprisingly full, but she found an empty seat at the back and sank into it wearily. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she barely noticed when, at the next stop, someone took the seat beside her.

  “Beautiful night,” her companion said.

  Annie turned and looked. Beside her was an old woman. Her white hair was tied up in a black scarf, and her plain black dress looked worn but well cared for.

  “Yes, it is,” Annie said, not interested in conversation.

  “If you don’t mind my saying so, you seem a little sad,” the woman continued.

  Annie found herself being a little annoyed. It wasn’t any of the old woman’s business how she felt, and she just wanted to be left alone. But she also heard something in the woman’s voice that made her want to talk to her.

  “I am a little sad,” she said. “A lot of things are kind of mixed up right now, and I’m not sure how to fix them.”

  “Ah,” the woman said, as if she knew exactly what Annie meant. “You’re at a crossroads.”

  “Right,” said Annie. “I don’t know which way to go.”

  The woman sighed. “I’m just an old woman,” she said. “But I was young once, like you. Maybe I remember a little something about it. If you want my advice, I say that some things cannot be fixed right away. They take time. Other things don’t take so long. And sometimes the thing you think is the problem is not the problem. You just have to look at it in a different light to see what it really is. You know, sometimes the things we are afraid of aren’t as bad as we think they are.”

  Annie smiled to herself. The woman sounded like someone’s grandmother giving advice. She was sure that the old woman meant well, but what she was saying really had nothing to do with her.

  Or did it? She certainly knew about problems she couldn’t fix. Like Sherrie, for example. But maybe the problem was really that she didn’t need to find a solution to the Sherrie problem right now. Maybe she was trying too hard. And as for being afraid, she was definitely afraid of moving. Was it possible that she was afraid for the wrong reasons?

  As the bus rolled through town she asked herself that question. Was there a real reason to be afraid of moving? She was scared because she would be leaving the life she liked, particularly her friends and her magical circle. But she would still have everything she’d learned. She would still have the knowledge of the Craft and her interest in walking the Wiccan path. Although it wouldn’t be easy, she could continue to do that. It would just mean walking in a different direction, in a manner of speaking.

  “Maybe you’re right,” she said to the woman. “Maybe I have been looking at this in the wrong way.”

  “Sometimes you need an old woman to butt in and help a little,” the woman replied, laughing. “And now I will go. Good luck to you, Annie.”

  “Thanks,” Annie said as the woman shuffled to the front of the bus and got off.

  As they pulled away from the curb, Annie watched the woman slowly disappear into the night. What she’d said had really helped, and Annie knew now what she had to do. It was going to be incredibly difficult—probably the most difficult thing she’d ever done—but it was the right choice.

  When the bus came to her stop she got off and walked to her house. At the door, she took a deep breath before going inside. Her aunt was in the kitchen, stirring something at the stove.

  “There you are,” she said when Annie came in. “We ate without you. I assumed you were studying with Kate and Cooper.”

  “No,” Annie said. “I was thinking.”

  “Thinking?” her aunt asked. “About what?”

  “San Francisco,” Annie said. “I know all about it. I know what’s been going on. I’ve heard you talking and I know what you’re planning.”

  “You do?” her aunt said, her face falling.

  Annie nodded. “And it’s okay. I was upset at first, and I guess I’m still nervous about it. But if you want us to move there, that’s okay with me.”

  Her aunt looked at her with a strange expression. Then she pulled out a chair. “Sit down,” she said, a look of bemusement spreading across her face. “I think there’s something I need to straighten out.”

  CHAPTER 18

  “Who are all these people?” Annie asked.

  The room was filled with faces she didn’t recognize, women and men in stylish clothes who walked around looking at everything with interest and whispering their opinions to one another. She herself was standing awkwardly in the doorway, not knowing what to do and just trying to stay out of the way.

  “There’s a great deal of interest in this,” Marcia Reeves told her. “Are you surprised?”

  Annie was more than surprised. She was still in shock. It was hard enough to really believe that school was finally over. She’d taken her last final that afternoon, cleaned out her locker, and left Beecher Falls High School behind as she walked home with Cooper and Kate. She felt a little sad thinking about that.

  But there will always be next year, she reminded herself.

  Next year. Yes, there would be a next year for her. And for Kate and Cooper, too. For all of them.

  Annie’s aunt came over to where they were standing. “I didn’t expect such an enormous turnout,” she said. “It’s a little overwhelming.”

  “We’ve already had three offers,” Marcia told her.

  Annie looked over and saw Cooper and Kate coming in the door. She waved at her friends and excused herself to go talk to them.

  “This is incredible,” Kate said, looking around at the crowd of people.

  “The place looks amazing,” Cooper added.

  “They spent all day getting it ready,” Annie told them.

  “I see you’ve gone back to your old look, though,” Kate said, sounding disappointed as she noted the single braid falling down Annie’s back.

  “Yeah,” Annie said. “The glamour queen look just wasn’t me.”

  “That’s okay,” Cooper told her. “Some of us think you looked fine before the makeover.”

  Kate sighed. “I guess I just have to accept the fact that I’m the glamorous one in this group,” she said.

  “Come on,” said Annie, grinning. “I’ll show you around.”

  They followed her into another room, equally packed with visitors. Annie pointed to one of the walls and said, “That’s the one that started everything.”

  Kate and Cooper looked at the painting Annie had indicated. It depicted a little girl standing in front of some sunflowers. The girl looked serious but happy.

  “That’s the picture from the photograph you showed us a while ago,” Cooper sa
id. “The one of your mother. And that girl, it’s you.”

  Annie nodded. “She was working on it when that photo was taken. She gave it to a friend of hers when it was finished. It’s been hanging in his restaurant all of these years.”

  “Tell us again what happened,” Kate said. “I’m still a little confused.”

  Annie was still slightly confused herself. Confused and embarrassed. But mostly she was happy.

  “An art dealer saw the painting in the restaurant and asked who the artist was,” Annie told her friends. “The owner told her, and the dealer’s gallery contacted my aunt.”

  “So Marcia isn’t a real estate agent?” Cooper said.

  “No,” said Annie. “She just dresses like one. She’s actually the gallery owner.”

  “And your aunt wasn’t planning to sell the house?” said Kate.

  “Definitely not,” Annie said, relief flooding her voice.

  “So what about all of those phone calls and the trip to San Francisco?” Kate asked.

  “Marcia asked Aunt Sarah if they could hold a showing of my mother’s work,” Annie said. “We had some of it at the house, but most of it was still in a storage space in San Francisco. Aunt Sarah tracked it down, and she had to go there and go through it with Marcia to see which pieces they wanted to show. The phone calls were just me jumping to conclusions. Big conclusions.”

  “I don’t get it, though,” Cooper said. “Why did she hide all of this from you?”

  “She wanted it to be a surprise,” explained Annie. “She thought it would be more fun for me if I didn’t know about it. She had to tell Meg because Meg was around more than I was, but it was supposed to be a big surprise for me.”

  Of course, it had been a surprise to her. Just about the biggest surprise she could think of. That night, when her aunt had started laughing after Annie announced that it was okay with her if they had to move, Annie had been even more angry. She’d thought that her aunt was laughing at her. But she hadn’t been. She’d been just as confused about Annie’s strange behavior as Annie had been about hers. When Annie finally realized what had been going on, she was so relieved that she’d started laughing, too.