Pretend

by Charlene Antrobus

  "I'm with you, so don't worry about anyone else, ok?"

  "Sure," I replied as I tried to force a smile onto my nervous face.

  As we entered the living room I felt Crystal give my hand a tiny squeeze. I think that it was her way of reminding me of what she had just said. My eyes instantly scanned the room in search of Kyle and Rachel. I looked in the direction that they had previously been stood by the light green drapes but they were no longer there. I continued to allow my eyes to scan every corner of the room and to my surprise there was no sign of them.

  "I think that they're gone and good riddance too," Crystal whispered into my ear as she gently allowed her hand to slip free of mine.

  A sudden feeling of relief came over me and for the first time tonight, I started to relax. As Crystal beckoned me to follow her, deeper into the living room, I could still feel the eyes of different people staring at me. It made me slightly uncomfortable but I just avoided making eye contact by looking down at the floor.

  "Hey, it's April!" Jess beamed as we approached her and the crowd that she was stood in. She instantly threw her arms around me, which soon became a pattern that was followed by both Erica and Jinnie.

  "I'm so glad that you came! We have missed you so much. How are you?" Jess asked. I watched as they all stood, staring and waiting for my reply.

  It was nice seeing them all but I had to admit that I did feel a little swamped by all of the attention that I was now getting. These girls had been my friends since I started high school and I knew what they really wanted to ask. It would be questions about Kyle and Rachel, me and Kyle, how we broke up and all the other list of things that they had probably discussed a thousand times already. I felt relaxed, knowing that none of them had enough guts to actually approach the situation head on.

  "I'm ok thanks," I replied as I tried to avoid looking into Jess' big, blue eyes. She was taller than the rest of us and so it was easier to avoid her gaze. Her ruffled, black dress seemed to make her appear to be larger than she actually was and the fact that she had chosen to wear flat, black ballerina shoes hadn't really helped. Cutting her blonde hair to her shoulders, did however make her face appear thinner that it was, I wasn't sure how, but it just did. She was still very pretty, as always.

  "Good, we're just glad to see you out and enjoying yourself again, right girls?" She said, looking at Erica and Jinnie.

  "Yup," they both replied, at the same time. I always found it funny how much Erica and Jinnie did in unison. I get that twins have a 'special' connection but it did border on creepy at times. They did however have completely different styles. Jinnie was more of a tomboy and liked baggier, lighter clothes. Erica on the other hand was pretty much like Crystal when it came to clothes, completely girly.

  I stayed with Jess, Erica and Jinnie as Crystal continued to mingle with the rest of her guests. I wasn't in the mood to dance and so I took my seat in between Jinnie and Jess.

  I admired Crystal's social skills in situations like these. She just loved being around people. As I watched her, she seemed right at home.

  As I slowly took my gaze off of Crystal, I couldn't help but feel as though someone was watching me. I was right. It was a tall, muscular guy. I didn't know him very well but I did recognise him as being one of Aiden's friends. He wasn’t a close friend but I’d seen his face a few times. He had on a loose, dark blue top and a pair of black jeans. As he leaned against the wall, talking to a pretty, dark haired girl, it became apparent that he was not listening to her at all as his eyes were completely fixated on me.

  A slight rush of embarrassment came over me as he continued to stare in my direction.

  "Hey, I'm going to get a drink, anyone else?" Jess asked as she stood up.

  "No thanks," I replied.

  "I'll come," both Jinnie and Erica said at the same time.

  "You have got to stop doing that," Erica complained.

  "Me? It's you that copies everything that I say," Jinnie threw back at her.

  "Yeah right, I'm a straight A student why would I want to copy someone who barely gets an F," she said with a smirk on her face.

  "Oh shut up, that was once. I got an F once. Let it go!"

  "Yeah whatever you say sis," Erica replied.

  "Back in a minute," Jess said to me as she laughed at Jinnie and Erica's rather petty disagreement.

  I suddenly felt the vibration of my phone and slipped it out of my bag. It was a message from my mom.

  Hey sweetie. Hope that you are having a lovely time. Don't forget, if you need a lift then just text. Oh and I'm so proud of you and I love you so much. Ok, I'm going to stop now, sorry! Enjoy the rest of your evening.

  Momxx

  A smile crept onto my face as I read the message over, twice. It was sweet but more importantly she was actually texting. It took me months just to get her to understand what a text actually was. I pressed reply and quickly began typing my message back.

  Hey mom. I'm having a lovely time thanks and wow your actually texting. Thanks for checking on me and I luv u2 (that means I love you too by the way lol) xX April Xx

  As I pressed send, I felt a shadow tower over me. As I looked up, it was the guy that had been staring at me earlier. I could suddenly feel my face becoming hotter.

  "Hey, is this seat taken?" He said, pointing at the empty space next to me.

  "It is but it should be vacant for at least five minutes," I said as I threw him a smile.

  "Pretty and funny, nice," he said, smiling back at me. His comment took me by surprise as I was not even trying to be funny in fact I was quite nervous.

  I would be lying if I said that I didn't find him attractive. As he sat down, he threw his big hand through his light brown hair. I wondered what he was actually going to say as his hazel eyes once again met with mine.

  "I'm Jake by the way," he said as he continued to stare directly at me.

  "April," I replied.

  "I know, you're Crystal's friend.”

  "Yeah, you know Aiden, right?"

  "Yeah, we go to the same music school.”

  I suddenly felt my phone vibrate again. It was from my mom.

  "Sorry," I said as I began to read the text.

  "It's ok, I'm not going anywhere for now," he replied with a smile on his face.

  Good, I'm glad that you are happy. I do know what it means April, I'm not that old. Oh and by the way, what is lol?

  Mom xx

  I let out a loud laugh as I read over the last sentence.

  "Anything worth sharing?" Jake asked.

  "No just a joke message," I said as I tried to straighten my face. I quickly typed my message.

  I'll explain later x

  Feeling a little rude, I quickly gave Jake my full attention.

  "Sorry, so you were saying that Aiden goes to the same music school as you?"

  "Yeah, every Saturday. We learn to play the guitar," he replied.

  "Oh, cool. He never mentioned that," I said.

  "I think he tries to keep it pretty quiet, so don't mention it ok?"

  "Sure, I wouldn't do that. I don't know why he keeps it quiet though, I think that it's amazing to be able to play an instrument," I replied.

  "Yeah me too," he said as he took a sip of the drink that he was holding in his hand.

  "So, would it be right for me to assume that someone as beautiful as yourself already has a boyfriend?" He said as he allowed his smile to display his beautiful white teeth.

  "Actually, you'd be quite wrong," I said as my eyes dropped to the floor. Every time that somebody mentioned anything to do with relationships, boyfriends or anything within that subject, my mind reverted directly back to Kyle.

  It may have been risky telling him that I was single after mine and Aiden's little act earlier but something tells me that Jake and Kyle are not likely to talk anytime soon.

  "So, then it would be ok for me to ask for your number, right?" he said as a smile spread across his lips yet again.

  "Look, you're reall
y sweet and you seem great but I'm just not looking for anything like that right now," I said, trying to brush him off as gently as I possibly could.

  "I understand and I totally respect that. What about if I asked you as a friend? We all need friends, don't we?"

  I couldn't help but smile. There was something very charming about Jake. Something that in some ways reminded me of the Kyle that I used to know

  "Ok," I said as I took the phone that he was now holding out in front of me, out of his hand. I typed my number and then handed the phone back to him.

  "Thanks," he said as an even bigger smile now filled his face.

  "Well, I'm just going to try and find my friends so maybe we might bump into each other later," I said.

  "Yeah that sounds good to me," he replied.

  "Ok, bye," I said as I stood up and began to walk towards the door.

  "Bye," he replied.

  I wasn't really going to find anyone but my bladder was bursting and telling him that wasn't really something that I wanted to do. As I walked up the all too familiar, cream carpeted stairs, I smiled as childhood memories of me and Crystal running from Aiden, as he tried to tag us, popped into my head. I had some great memories in this house and they never failed to make me smile. As I approached the restroom door, I turned the handle, stepped in and then shut and locked it behind me. I lifted the white toilet seat and began to pull my jeans down past my thighs. A sudden relief came over me once I had finished. I stood to my feet, fixed my clothes and flushed the toilet.

  As I began to wash my hands, I looked in the mirror at my messy bun. I quickly dried my hands and opened the cabinet above the sink in the hope that everything was exactly the same as it was before.

  "Yes," I muttered to myself as I looked up to see that Crystal still kept all of her hair products in here. I quickly slid her brush off of the top shelf, gently pulled the band out of my hair and began to brush through my shoulder length, blonde hair. I closed my eyes as the soft bristles massaged my scalp. After a few minutes of enjoying the peace and quiet, I opened my eyes again and looked in the mirror at my reflection. Once I was happy with the result, I made sure to remove my hair from Crystal's brush, throw it inside of the trash can and then place the brush back, exactly as I had found it. I unlocked the door, turned off the light and walked out.

  As I came into the hallway, a tall dark figure made me jump. As my eyes focused, I recognised who it was. His eyes looked somewhat serious as though he had something that he needed to get off of his chest. As I continued to stare at him, he finally spoke...

  "We need to talk..."

  "There is nothing left to say Kyle," I said as I walked past him and headed towards the stairs.

  "Please?" He pleaded as he gently took a hold of my arm.

  The all too familiar touch caught me off guard. I'd missed the feeling of his skin touching mine and the memories were still so painful. I gently turned to face him. As I stared into his dark brown eyes my heart skipped a beat. All I could see was pain when I looked at him and feelings of betrayal. The face that kept me safe now made me feel so insecure. As I watched a piece of his dark, blonde hair hanging over his eyes my heart ached knowing that there was once a time that I would have slid it away, before gently kissing his soft lips. Everything had changed now...

  "You have two minutes," I replied as I waited for him to respond.

  "I'm so sorry April," he said as he stared into my eyes with a look of pain.

  "I've already heard this," I said, feeling rather frustrated.

  "I know but every time that I think about what I've done to you...I was just a jerk. I know that I can't change what has happened but when I seen you tonight with Aiden-"

  "So this is what it’s all about," I said as I cut off.

  "Typical! It's all a game to you, isn't it? It was ok when you thought that I'd be broken and forever begging you to come back but now that I've actually moved on, you can't take that, can you?" I said as a feeling of anger swept over my body.

  "It's not like that and you know it, I just don't get what you see in him. Isn't he like your best friend’s brother or something?"

  "And if he is?" I snapped back.

  "Look, I didn't come up here to talk about him. I just...April, I miss you and I thought that I knew what I wanted but I didn't. Everything that we had, I just can't forget about it. It’s driving me crazy. If you can really stand there and say that it means nothing to you then I'll never bother you again," he said.

  I paused for a moment. How could I say anything right now? I would either have to tell him the truth or lie and right now, I didn't have the strength to do either.

  "Please," he said as he stepped closer to me. As his soft hand met with my cheek, I closed my eyes. I missed that touch so much. He stroked my cheek so gently that I could have almost missed it. I couldn't cope with all of this, it was too much. Being so close to Kyle again was like adding more ingredients to my broken heart. I opened my eyes and moved my mouth to speak but the words just refused to come out.

  "April, I still-"

  "Kyle!"

  It was Rachel's voice. It was as though someone had just thrown a glass of ice cold water in my face and slapped me back to reality.

  "I'm sorry-"

  "Just go Kyle," I said as I turned my body away from him.

  "April ple-"

  "Kyle! What are you doing? How long does it take to go to the toilet! Come on!" Rachel shouted, sounding more frustrated than ever.

  "I'm sorry, I've got to go," he said before the sound of his footsteps began to disappear down the stairs.

  I stood frozen. I felt a single tear roll down the side of my cheek. I felt my eyes begin to blur as the water rose to the edges of them. I held them back and wiped my cheek with my hand.

  Once I was sure that they were gone, I began to make my way down the stairs. I headed for outside, I needed some fresh air so that I could clear my mind. I wasn't ready to face all of Crystal's guests again, not yet.

  As I placed my hand on the door handle I was interrupted by the sound of my name being called. I turned around, feeling rather frustrated.

  "April, are you ok?"

  "Yeah I'm fine, I just need a little bit of fresh air," I replied in a less than enthusiastic tone.

  "Ok, well I need you for two minutes.”

  "Aiden, can't this wait? I'm really not in the mood," I replied.

  "No it can't, it's important. Come on.”

  I reluctantly followed him through the dining room doors. I watched as he scanned around before sliding the doors shut. It seemed as though he was making sure that no one else was around. I must admit that I loved the Daniels’ dining room as it had a classy feel to it. The wooden flooring was somehow always warm under your feet and the chandelier added a warm glow to the room. Their dining room table was probably one of the largest that I had ever seen, not that I'd actually seen many. I relaxed into one of the chairs that was placed around the table and took a deep breath. I liked it in here.

  "So, what's so important?" I asked, impatiently as he bent down to retrieve something from one of the drawers in the cabinet.

  I watched as he carefully took out a small, black box. He gently placed it on the table in front of me.

  "What do you think?" He asked with a serious expression on his face.

  As I looked at the box, I saw the silver bracelet that was being protected inside of it. I carefully slipped it out and began to admire the details. It was made up of small crystal like balls. There was a silver strip that connected the whole bracelet together and when I further examined it, I realised that the name Crystal was engraved on it.

  "Aiden, this is beautiful," I said as I looked up at him.

  "So, do you think that she'll like it?"

  "She's going to love it, it's perfect," I said as I took a final look at the bracelet before polishing it in my blue, halter neck top and placing it back inside of the small box.

  "Good, I wasn't really sure you see but you know
her better than anyone else," he replied as he began to place the box back inside of the drawer before locking it with a key.

  "Aren’t you going to give it to her tonight?" I asked as I watched him place the key back inside of his pocket.

  "Yeah, when the guests are gone, don't want it to go missing now do we," he said as a smile spread across his lips.

  "Yeah, you're right," I said as I allowed a small smile to creep onto my face.

  "So, since your smiling again, you won't mind helping me with something else," he said, smiling at me again.

  "Great, now what?" I replied sarcastically.

  "Well every party needs a cake, doesn't it?" He said as he slid the dining room doors open and headed towards the kitchen.

  After gently tucking the chair back underneath the dining room table, I got up and began to follow him. Once we reached the kitchen, I quickly shut the door behind me and lent against the marble surface just in front of the kitchen window.

  "So, what happened?" Aiden asked as he began to search through the drawers next to the refrigerator.

  "What do you mean?" I asked as a feeling of confusion came over me.

  "Well, first I see Kyle heading down the stairs and then you, both looking rather..."

  He seemed to be searching for the correct word, "depressed," he finally said.

  "It's nothing. I don't really want to talk about it to be honest.”

  I watched as he continued to search through different cabinets and drawers. He walked over to the cabinet, underneath the sink where I was stood and then bent down. I slid over a little, just enough to allow him the gap to open the cabinet door.

  "What are you looking for?" I finally asked.

  "Candles, I have no idea where my mom has put them," he said as he continued his search.

  "Oh," I replied.

  "You never finished what you were saying earlier," I said as I stared down at the top of his head.

  "Found them!" He exclaimed as he began to reach deeper into the cabinet, trying to retrieve the candles.

  "What was I saying?" He finally asked as he grabbed the candles and then started to place different items that were currently lying on the floor, back inside of the cabinet.