Pretend

by Charlene Antrobus

  "She didn't know all of this, I know she didn't. She spent so much time crying and hoping that you would come back, I remember it so clearly. After a while, I guess she just gave up," I said in a sympathetic voice.

  "Yeah, I guess she did."

  "What did you do then?"

  "I drove away. I drove for hours just trying to piece everything together, I knew that it was my fault and I just couldn't turn back the clock. I kept that image of you three at the door step that day and I vowed that I would never come back and spoil that for you. So instead I went back home, begged my father to take me back and continued living a miserable life. Your mother was a wonderful woman and she deserved happiness more than anyone that I knew. So I made a promise that I would let you both be happy and stay away," he replied.

  "That wasn't necessarily the best thing," I said in a sad voice.

  "I know but I was young and I did what I felt was right. If I ever thought that either of you would have missed me like I missed you, I would have never left that day. There wasn't a moment that I didn't think about you both," he said as he stared at me with love in his eyes.

  How could I stay mad at someone who had so much love in their heart? I couldn't.

  "I forgive you," I mumbled quietly as I stared down at my lap.

  "Thank you," he said as he threw me a small smile.

  "I still don't understand something though," I said as I looked up at his face.

  "What?"

  "You came back. You said that you promised to stay away. Why now? Why nine years later?" I asked in a confused tone.

  "I knew that you would ask this and it's only fair that you know. April, I have wanted to come back and see you more times than I can even count. The amount of times that I sat in my car and planned to just come and tell you this story, but I couldn't. I didn't know how to," he replied.

  "What changed?"

  "Me, I changed. I may not have much time left and I couldn't leave with you thinking that I didn't love you because I do, I love you more than I love anyone in this entire world."

  "You're going away?" I asked, sadly.

  “No.”

  “Then, what?” I asked in a sad voice.

  "I have cancer April," he said in a solemn voice.

  "What?" I gasped as the words struggled to sink in.

  "I'm starting treatment on Monday but it doesn't always work. That's why it was important for me to talk to you first, to make peace," he replied. I couldn't even take in the words. It was like I had just met him and he was being taken away again.

  "Everything I own, my estate, cars, money, properties, all of it is yours," he said.

  "I don't want money," I said as I held back the tears.

  "I know but you're my daughter and I want you to have it. I have always intended for it to go that way."

  "I'm sorry that I thought so badly of you," I whispered.

  "It's not your fault. I couldn't expect you to think anything else. I just wanted you to know the truth before...Well whilst I still had the chance to tell it to you."

  "What about my mom?"

  "I will tell her when the time is right. She's away, right?"

  "Yeah, how did you know?"

  "I hired a private investigator that's how I knew where you were, I thought that you may have moved house but you didn't."

  "No, we didn't. So what now?" I asked.

  "That's up to you," he replied.

  "I need time for this to all sink in but I would like to do this again if you would of course," I said as I felt my cheeks become hotter.

  "There is nothing that I would love more," he said as he smiled at me.

  * * *

  Ed and I spent hours talking and laughing at different stories that we both told. It felt nice and yet strange to say that I was sat in a car chatting and laughing with my dad. It's every little girl's dream and if it's not then it was certainly mine. I didn't want to think about the cancer right now, not whilst I felt so happy. I would face that later.

  "Just here," I said as I pointed towards Aiden and Crystal's house.

  "Ok, well I really enjoyed myself today," Ed said as he smiled at me.

  "Me too," I replied in a quiet voice.

  "Right, well you have my number so if you need anything at all then don't hesitate to ask," he said.

  "I won't. Bye Ed," I said as I got out of the car.

  "Bye April," he replied.

  Bye dad, I said in my head as I watched him drive away.

  I stood in silence for a few minutes as I smiled at the empty space where he was just parked. It seemed crazy that someone that made me so angry for so long could make me feel so happy.

  "Hey," a voice said from behind me.

  "Hi," I said as I looked up at Aiden's concerned face.

  "Everything go ok?" He asked.

  "Crystal called me and told me about Ed," he said before I could question him.

  "Oh, yeah it went....Well great," I said as I continued to smile.

  "Good, I'm glad to hear. Come on," he said as he took my hand and led me inside of the house.

  "Is Crystal still out with Cameron?" I asked as I took in the silence of the house.

  "No, she's gone to help Murphy get some things together for the party tomorrow," he replied.

  "Oh, how come you didn't go?"

  "I was waiting for you just in case you needed me," he said with a serious face.

  "That's really sweet," I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked into his eyes.

  "How sweet?" He asked with a smirk on his face.

  "Erm-"

  I said before he cut me off with a kiss.

  "Yes probably about that much," I said before laughing.

  "Good," he replied as he stroked my cheek.

  "Well, I'm going to go and help out Murphy, you want to come?" He asked as he grabbed his jacket off of the coat rack next to the door and threw it on.

  "Yeah ok," I said as I let out a yawn.

  "Good because there's a surprise there for you," he said as he began to smile again.

  "A surprise?"

  "Yup."

  "From you? At Murphy's house?" I asked in confusion.

  "Oh, this one has nothing to do with me," he said in a playful tone.

  "Then who?"

  "Now if I told you it wouldn't be much of a surprise would it?" He asked as he began to laugh.

  "Please," I said as I gave him the puppy dog eyes.

  "No beautiful, I told you the-"

  "Puppy dog eyes don't work on you yeah, yeah, you've said," I said as I began laughing.

  "Fine, I'm not kissing you for a whole week if you don't tell me," I said as I tried to keep a straight face.

  "That's ok, we've got the rest of our lives to make up for it," he said as he continued to smile.

  "We do?" I asked in a more serious tone.

  "Of course we do. April I told you that I didn't want to lose you, I lo-"

  Suddenly he was cut off by the ringing of his iphone.

  "Yes, I'm on my way now, calm down dude. Ok yes I will, bye," he said as he hung up the phone.

  Gosh, I love this guy.

  "So," I said as Aiden started up the car engine with a smile on his face.

  "So what?" He replied with a smirk on his face.

  "So, what is this surprise?" I asked eagerly.

  "I told you that I'm not telling you," he said as he let out a small laugh.

  "Yeah but I can still act surprised when I get there, no one will know that I know except for me and you," I said as I batted my eyelashes at him and smiled.

  "No beautiful, you can wait," he said as he continued to smile.

  "Fine, I'll remember to say that next time that you ask for a kiss," I said sarcastically.

  "April, have you ever known me to ask for a kiss?" He said as he burst out laughing.

  "Oh be quiet," I said playfully as I kept looking out of the window.

  He was right, he never asked and the funny thing was that I l
iked that he didn't.

  "So, are you still planning to tell Crystal tomorrow?" He said, interrupting my day dreaming.

  "Yeah, at some point, I'm just trying to get the guts to do it," I replied as I remembered how scared I was to tell her.

  "Are you sure that you don't want me to be there when you tell her?"

  "No, I really have to do it alone. I'm her best friend and I want her to know that I respect her. I just don't want her to hate me for it or think that it will change our friendship," I said in a sad tone.

  "Now's probably the best time to tell her, whilst she's distracted by lover boy," he replied with a smile on his face.

  "Yeah you're probably right. Her and Cameron seem pretty good together, don't they?"

  "Yeah, I got to admit that I like the guy."

  "Me too, he’s not her usual type of guy but we’ll see," I said as I began to smile at him.

  "True, she usually targets the bad boys, forcing me to nearly kill them,” he said as we both began to laugh.

  “Violence is never the answer Mr Daniels,” I said with a smile on my face.

  “Sometimes it’s the perfect answer,” he said as he raised an eyebrow at me.

  “Right, let's go," he said as he pulled up outside of Murphy's house.

  I had honestly never seen a house as big as Murphy's before, it's like something that you'd see on cribs. Every time that he holds a party here I swear it gets just that little bit bigger.

  As I felt Aiden's fingers slip in between mine, I turned to face him with a smile on my face.

  "Erm...I don't think that I'll need to explain anything to Crystal if we walk in like this," I said as I gestured towards our interlinked fingers.

  "Sorry, I forgot. I just can't wait to be able to do this without having to hide it," he said as he looked at me with a serious face.

  "I know, me too and after tomorrow we will, I promise," I said as I gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

  "Good," he said as he slid his hand from mine and rang Murphy's doorbell.

  "It's open!" Murphy shouted from the other side.

  "Hey," Aiden said as he nodded his head at Murphy as we both walked through the door.

  "Hey guys, everyone's chilling in the living room," he said as we walked through the door.

  "Is everything set for tomorrow?" Aiden asked as we followed Murphy to the living room or one of the living rooms should I say.

  "Yeah, these guys work fast, so we're all just chilling," he said as we entered the room.

  "Hey," Crystal shouted as soon as she spotted us.

  "Hey," I said as she gave me a concerned face.

  I forgot that she would be wondering what happened with Ed. I'd have to fill her in later.

  "You ok?" She mouthed to me whilst everyone was saying hello to Aiden. I nodded my head to say yes and threw her a small smile.

  As I turned around to say hi to everyone else that's when I saw that Jess was sat on Anthony's lap.

  "Surprise," Aiden whispered as he smiled at me.

  "Jess, Anthony, erm...Hi," I said as I examined their position and body language.

  "Oh April we have so much to talk about," Jess said as she tried to hide the biggest smile on her face.

  "Hey kiddo," Anthony said as he began smirking at me.

  I'll talk to him later.

  "Great, let's talk now," I said as I dragged her and Crystal towards the kitchen.

  "We’ll be back in a minute," I said as I turned to face Aiden, Anthony, Murphy and Taise. I smiled as Aiden gave me a wink and then I proceeded towards the kitchen.

  "So, you and Anthony?" I asked with a huge smile on my face.

  "I know, I know I gave in but I couldn't help it. He's just...Different," she said with a cute smile on her face.

  "Oh Anthony's different alright," Crystal said as we all burst out laughing.

  "He is but I know one thing, he must really like you," I said as I squeezed her hand.

  "You definitely think that he does?" She asked nervously.

  "Yes," both Crystal and I sang in unison before laughing again.

  "You are the only girl that he has ever gone exclusive with, believe me he likes you,” I said as I smiled at her.

  “And who wouldn't like you Jess, you're beautiful," Crystal said as she began to smile at her too.

  "Aww thank you guys, you're the best," she said before throwing her arms around mine and Crystal's neck.

  "So, what about you and Cameron?" Jess asked as she gently pulled away.

  "I think that I really like him. He's just so sweet and treats me like a princess," she said as she began to blush.

  "Yeah, he is a nice guy," I replied as I looked at Crystal's smiling face.

  "Yeah he is," she said.

  “Does this mean that you are through with your ‘bad boy’ stage?” Jess asked as we both stared at her.

  “Yeah, I guess it does,” she said. She sounded a little unsure but she will figure it out eventually.

  "Good, I'm happy for you," Jess said.

  "So, what are we going to do with you madam?" Crystal asked as she turned to look at me.

  "What do you mean?" I said in a confused tone.

  "Well we have to find you a Mr perfect now, don't we," she said as she looked at me. My eyes shifted between her and Jess as I wondered whether this was the right time to tell her. I did kind of start when we were at the mall but I have completely lost the confidence that I had back then.

  "I don't really think that that's necessary," I said as I tried to avoid her gaze.

  "It's not?" Crystal asked in a confused tone.

  "No it's not, you don't need a man to make you happy," Jess quickly interrupted. I love that girl!

  "Exactly," I said in the hope that Crystal would drop the subject.

  "Yeah, you're right," she finally said as she threw me a smile.

  "Right I'm just going to see what Anthony's doing," Jess said as she began to stand up.

  "Ohhhhhhh!" Both Crystal and I sang in unison as we all burst out laughing.

  "Oh be quiet you pair," she said as she squinted her eyes at us and exited the room with a big smile spread across her face.

  "So, how did it go with Ed?" Crystal said in a more serious tone.

  "Good and Bad," I said as I looked at her.

  "I'm listening," she replied.

  "Ok, well it turns out that he's not quite the dead beat that I thought that he was all of these years."

  "How so?"

  "Well to cut a long story short he loved us and wanted to be with us, it was his family that stopped him. That and a few twists and turns in life," I said sadly.

  "Oh, well that's good I suppose," she replied as though she was asking a question.

  "Yeah kind of."

  "Why kind of?"

  "Well he's a great person and I want to get to know him-"

  "Well then you can, if he's as great as you say and has come back to ask for a second chance then don't waste time April," she said in a gentle tone.

  "I know and I want to get to know him," I said as I held back the tears.

  "But?"

  "He has cancer Crystal, he's dying. He's come back into my life and I won't even get the chance to really know him," I said as a tear strolled down my cheek.

  "Oh, April I'm so sorry," she said as she threw her arms around me and held me tight.

  "Look you've got to think positive. Think about all the medicine and treatment out there, he stands a good chance of fighting this for a few more years yet," she said gently.

  "I know,"

  "And remember what your grandma always used to say to us?" She said with a soft smile on her face.

  "What?" I asked.

  "She used to say that God works in mysterious ways and that if he brings you something then take it and enjoy it because it's there for a reason. Maybe that applies to Ed. Maybe God has sent him to you so that you can share the best years of his life with him. Don't worry about how long you have left just take what you ha
ve and make the most of it, don't waste time thinking about it," she said as she stood back to look at me.

  "How can you say something that smart and still fail in English?" I asked as we both began laughing.

  "Oh be quiet. Feeling better?" She replied.

  "Yes, thank you. I can always count on you no matter what."

  "That's what best friends are for, it's part of the job description now come on let's go have some fun," she said as she wiped the tear from my cheek and pulled me up.

  "Oh, I love you Miss Daniels," I said as I gave her a tight squeeze.

  "You too but I can't breathe," she said as we both began to giggle.

  "Come on," she said as she took my hand and lead me into the living room.

  "Wait," she said as she turned to face me.

  "What's the matter?" I asked in a confused tone.

  "I think that we should have a girly day tomorrow, just the two of us, like we used to. What do you say?"

  "That would be lovely," I said as I smiled at her.

  "Great, it's a date," she said as she winked at me.

  As we entered the room no one except for Aiden looked up at us. I smiled at him and then sat on the couch to see what was going on.

  "Twister?" Crystal asked as she raised her eyebrows at Murphy.

  "Yeah, these dudes wanted to play a game so I picked the one that I'm best at. Get to show my flexibility," he said as he prolonged the word flexibility and winked.

  "Such an idiot," Crystal said sarcastically before sitting down next to Jess and Anthony.

  "And I hope that you two don't think that this is a chance for any funny business, this is strictly a game, a clean one," Crystal said as she stared at Anthony and Jess.

  "Funny," Jess said as she gave her a sarcastic look.

  "Hey, would I do that?" Anthony asked.

  "Yes baby, you probably would," Jess said as she turned to look at him.

  "Ha dude you got told!" Taise said as he burst out laughing.

  "Ha dude so would you if you could get a girlfriend!" He replied as Murphy and Aiden burst out laughing.

  "Hey, stop being mean," I said as I tried to hold back the laughter.

  "Yeah April's right, be nice. Now are we going to start this game because I'm ready to wear the winner's crown," Aiden replied with a huge smirk on his face as he crouched down and looked at the game.